My neck nearly snaps in numerous places as I spin around to see who’s talking and where they’re coming from. Two bodies step out from behind the bushes and I zero in on Crow patches. Shit. Mother-fucking-fuckers.
“You’re brave showing your faces around here, I mean, it’s not like your club is worth a shit now, is it?” I say with a slight fuck you chuckle.
“You should be more concerned with the here and now. There’s two of us and one of you.”
“What am I? A figment of your imagination,” Harper scolds as she steps up beside me.
“You’re no concern for us, sweetheart,” the one with the dodgy facial tattoo says and I full-out snarl.
“Don’t even look at her,” I warn him, and he laughs.
“None of us could work out how she got Ellis ass over head, but she’s not too bad on the eye, is she?” he asks, turning to his brother.
“She’s giving me a twitch,” he says, grabbing his crotch.
Stepping away from Harper, I curl my fingers into my palms and wait for a beat where they aren’t looking my way so I can go for my gun. I didn’t see it before, but they’ve already got theirs out and all I need is a window of opportunity.
“So, what? You’re here to take me out? What’s your plan?” I ask, hoping they give me my window.
“You’re a bonus, we were hoping for Cas, or better yet, that asshole Leo. But like I said, you’re a bonus and that bitch creeping behind you.”
“Call her that again and see what happens,” I warn him, forcing my hands to stay at my side.
The two Crows tip their heads back and laugh and my window opens right up. There’s nothing more I’d like than to pummel their heads into the road, but with Harper behind me, I can’t take the risk of wasting time. She’s seen far too much violence lately and I don’t want her to see much more.
My hand brushes against my gun, and I think back to when Leo and I were kids and we played cowboys. We’d walk the ten paces and see who could shoot our water pistols the fastest. I have no idea why I’m thinking of such things at this moment but my fingers curl around the hilt and my index finger slides over the trigger.
Everything slows as their heads come down to face us again and I swing my arm up and squeeze the trigger at the first Crow. He hits the ground with a thud and a gaping hole in his forehead and in the next breath, before the second Crow can register what’s happening, he too is dropping next to his brother with a shot wound to his neck. Lowering the gun, my hand remains tense as the Crow twitches and makes the strangest noises as he bleeds out fast.
The silence of the night descends when he finally goes still and Harper’s hand lands on my arm. I tear my eyes away from the two lifeless bodies and expect to see fear or at the least, worry, when I stare down at her, but I was wrong. Defiance and excitement bounces around her and if I could feel what she’s feeling, I’d bet her adrenaline was rushing through her, in a good way this time.
She’s witnessed me killing three men now and instead of it worrying her, she clings closer to me.
“They deserved it, they would have done worse to us,” she tells me and for a flicker of a second, I don’t recognise her then it disappears and the worry I first expected hits her.
She looks up and down the road and then down at the bodies.
“We need to move the bodies out of sight,” I say and look away from her.
She doesn’t hesitate to help and together, we drag their bodies back into the bushes and cover them with stray branches.
“What now?” she asks, dusting her hands off on her jeans.
“I have to call it in to Cas.”
Turning my back on the bushes, I pull my phone out of my pocket and scroll down to Cas’s number.
He answers on the third ring. “What’s up?”
Exhaling, I say, “Two Crow’s took us down on the road into town, they were waiting, hiding out, and had a stinger laid out ready for any Lost Soul who came this way. They were hoping for you or Leo.”
I hear him blow out a breath and I imagine him scrubbing his face with his hand when a muffled sound comes down the line.
“You good? Is Harper okay?”
“We’re a little scratched up but we’re fine.”
“And the Crows?”
“Dead, both of them. I’ve hid them in the bushes, they’ll need to be picked up soon.”
“I’ll send the prospect, take Harper home and keep your eyes open. Fucking rats, they’re everywhere.”
He ends the call and I slip my phone back in my pocket. Harper stares off into the bushes and I head for my bike, pulling the stinger out of the road as I go. Heaving my machine on its two wheels, I kick out the stand so I can assess the damage.
The bodywork is covered in scrapes and the tires are fucked.
Fuck!
“I hope you don’t mind walking, babe.”
At least it’s warm out tonight. It could be worse; it could be raining but thankfully there isn’t a cloud in the sky.
“At least it isn’t raining,” she murmurs, voicing my thoughts.
“Silver lining, I suppose.”
Kicking the stand up, I push the bike forward and ease into walking up the road. Harper quickly catches up and sticks to my side.
“Do you think there are more of them out there?” she asks, as she keeps looking over her shoulder.
“They’ll wish they weren’t if they show their faces, I’m just in the fucking mood to wipe the fuckers out.”
Whether it’d be shooting them, fighting them, I don’t care how, they need to be exterminated.
“Why are they still coming around town? Ellis is dead, I would have thought they’d go into hiding or something.”
“You’d think so, but with Ellis gone they’ll be a power vacuum in their club and who knows, maybe if one of them catches Cas or someone of importance to us get the president patch.”
A small gasp escapes from her and her hand clamps around my upper arm.
“They’d do something like that for a patch?”
“Babe, this world is fucked up. You should know this by now.”
I don’t mean to be curt with her but it’s the truth. She’s seen first hand what the men in this world can and will do. We walk the rest of the way in silence and I dread walking through the door. She’s got some shit ripping through her mind at the speed of light and her staying quiet isn’t a good combination for anyone.
Harper
It’s never going to end, I see that now. Ellis is gone but every Crow who comes for us are a reminder of him. I’m not sure what happened to me tonight, one minute I was terrified of something happening to Jay, of them taking me to do whatever they pleased, but when he took control of the situation it was like watching something from a movie. They hit the ground and I enjoyed it. I enjoyed watching them die and I wanted more, I wanted to see more of them take their last breath. They went down and got off too lightly. I didn’t understand my feelings then, but I do now. It’s never going to end. For every Crow they take out, there are many more lurking in the shadows and just because Ellis is gone, doesn’t mean they are going to stop coming for us, for the club. Alannah was right, to live in their world I have to grow some balls, but how is it possible to turn off the fear of someone you love being killed over leather and patches. They kill one of ours, we kill one of theirs and then come for another and we go for another, the circle never ends. It continues to go around in a vicious cycle of murder, and I can’t deal.
Tonight has proved it will never stop. For a moment I felt like anything was possible and happiness was in touching reach and then it was stolen from me.
As soon as he has the front door unlocked and opened, I rush past him and climb the stairs two at a time.
I intended on going for a shower, to wash away the death clinging to me from moving the bodies but I close myself in the bedroom and follow my instincts. Grabbing the case from the bottom of the wardrobe, I shove anything my hand touches in the drawers into the case. I
backtrack to the bathroom and snatch my toothbrush and toiletries and dump them in the case. Zipping it up, I haul it to the top of the stairs and lift it down each step until I hit the bottom.
Through the doorway, I see JJ sat on the couch with his head tipped back and his eyes closed. He’s just as tired as I am but he won’t admit it.
The sound of the case hitting the floor gets his attention and his eyes fly open and land on me first, then the case.
“I told you, we’re not fucking leaving,” he says, resting his head back on the couch.
“Not we,” I say and hold my chin up. I won’t let the tears fall.
“You’re leaving me?” he says sarcastically, still not looking at me.
“I…”
He jumps up and I jump back onto the second stair step. He doesn’t come into the hall; he braces his arms on the top of the door frame and sighs.
“Where are you planning on going?” he asks.
“Anywhere there aren’t any Crows. I know you won’t come with me so I’m not going to ask again. I’m doing this for me.”
“You’re running, and I’ve got to say, the fact you don’t trust me after all this time is starting to piss me off. I killed two men tonight so no harm would come to you, and it’s still not enough.”
“I know, I was there. I saw it all,” I murmur, not sure why.
“What will it take for you to trust me?” he asks softly.
“It’s not about trust, you’re the one person alive who I trust implicitly. This is about how I want to live my life. I can’t continue this way, one minute not having anything to worry about and then the next, fighting for our lives.”
Still leaning on the doorframe, his eyes drop to the case and remain there.
“I get this is all new for you, but guess what, it’s new to me too. I haven’t spent my life dodging bullets and getting run off the road. Up till Noah brought the Crows to our door, the club was just a place to belong and have a good time. I’m so fucking sorry you’ve got caught up in this, but I’m not exactly dealing with it so well myself, so go upstairs and unpack your shit. We’re in this together and we’re going to deal with it, together.”
I am so sick and tired of not being listened to. It will crush me to leave him, but it’s suffocating me being in this environment. There’s no light in sight and I need the light.
Leaning down, I take hold of the case handle and pull it towards the front door. I can’t keep going around in circles with him. He’s made his opinion clear and so have I.
The door is half open before it’s slammed shut and I jump back. JJ moves in front of me and blocks my way.
“Don’t, please, you’ve always believed you’ve needed me more than I need you in this relationship, but you’ve always been wrong. I need you, babe, more than ever. I hear everything you say, and I know how desperate you are to feel safe. You want a world without Crows and what if I told you, I’m trying to make that happen, that if you stay, it won’t be long until they’re wiped off the earth. Every single one.”
Dropping the case, I can feel my forehead drawing in in confusion and I ask, “What are you talking about?”
“Cas has had me, my dad and the prospect hunting the Crows since we took out Ellis. So far, we have sixteen, Cas thinks there are about fifty of them, which nine were killed the night they stormed the club. They’re all tied up at the Old Mill, ready like turkeys for the brothers to have their revenge. Minus the two I took out tonight, there aren’t that many left to get to you or us.”
Everything stops.
“That’s what you’ve been doing when you’re not here?”
He nods and everything falls into place. I stumble back until the bottom stair hits my feet and I sit. All those times he disappeared I thought he was with another woman. I mean, deep down I didn’t believe he would cheat on me, but the voices grew loud.
“Why aren’t the rest of the club helping you?”
The four of them out there is more dangerous against the Crows than a whole club against a few.
“It’s the way Cas wants it,” he says with a shrug. “It’s his way of giving the brothers what they need, it’s not Ellis, but it’s a lot of bodies to take their hurt out on.”
“Will they be satisfied with that though?”
Again, he shrugs. “They’ll have to be.”
This changes everything, for me at least.
“So, you see, soon enough there won’t be any threat to you, me, anyone. We can get on with our lives and find a way to put this behind us.”
Apart from the fact we’re still holding secrets from everyone, but perhaps, I can take Alannah’s advice and move on if I’m not dealing with everything all at once. With the Crows out of the picture at least I won’t have to keep looking over my shoulder and we’ll able to ride home without nearly dying. Pushing away from the door, JJ joins me on the stairs and wraps his arm around me.
“I’ve killed three men in the last few weeks and I can deal with it as long as I know you’re here. I’m doing this for us, I want the fucking world for you and if I have to kill to make it happen, I will. But it’s pointless if you keep trying to leave.”
He presses his lips to the side of my head, and I lean into him.
“Why didn’t you tell me what you were doing? It might have changed things.”
“And it might not have,” he retorts. “Stick this out and if you still don’t feel safe with me after they’re all gone, I’ll let you go.”
I haven’t handled this very well, and I tried walking out tonight, but hearing him say that, it fucking hurts, a lot.
“You’ll let me go?”
“Fuck no!” he snorts and sighs. “I’m not letting you go ever, Harper. I just need you to want to stay.”
He’s finally told me the truth and I owe him the same. Standing, he looks up at me and holds his hand out for me to help him up, not that he needs it. I take his hand and lead him into the kitchen.
“You should sit, I’ll make us a drink.”
He doesn’t question what I’m up to and does as I ask. I move around the kitchen preparing and making us a coffee and swallow thickly when I join him at the table.
He ignores his coffee and waits for me to speak. I can’t put this off any longer, so I begin.
“I knew Leo was going to sneak out that night and I had made my decision to join him before I pretended I was going to bed. I truly believed I could help and with Leo and I before him, I thought it would go a lot different than it did. There was a moment when we were waiting for Ellis to come out and open the gates where I thought Leo and I could take on the world. He was intent of saving India and I was intent on helping in my own way. But as soon as we walked through the door, I could tell straight away we were wrong.”
Lifting the mug to my lips, I take a small sip for a brief reprieve before continuing.
“I was trying to manipulate him and hopefully distract him, but he was erratic and all over the place. He was truly unpredictable. You’ve heard what happened from the brothers what happened in the bar, but you don’t know what happened when he took me upstairs.”
He scoots his chair closer to mine and his hand slides up my thigh. It brings me comfort and holds back the icy chills webbing over me remembering that night.
“He took me up to your room; he must’ve known it was yours. He went through your things and wanted me to take my wedding ring off. Obviously, I refused, but he fought me for it, and he won, that’s why I dug it out of his pocket at the Old Mill. Anyway, he kept going on about this life he wanted for us. He was going to end the Lost Souls and we were leaving town. At some point, I hoped he would fall asleep and then maybe a plan would come to me, but he never did. He just talked all night. Half the time, I tuned him out and thought of you. I could smell your cologne all over your sheets and I clung to it like a lifeline.”
A shudder rolls through me but I carry on before I change my mind. “It was just after sunrise when he jumped up and his eyes, they went so w
ide, I remember thinking it wasn’t natural. His excitement got me worried and this level of dread over what he was planning washed over me.
“He asked me what I would do to save Leo and I told him I’d do anything. He dropped to his knees before me and gripped onto my legs so hard, it left bruises I hid from you and he told me Leo was safe. The rush of relief made me dizzy and then he backtracked, said he really wanted Leo to die. His back and forth literally gave me a headache. Then everything seemed to stop, and he smirked at me and that’s when he asked, ‘It’s either Leo or India, you choose’.”
He knows this is what happened, but he hasn’t heard it from me.
“Of course I told him I couldn’t do it, he was asking for too much but he wasn’t having any of it. He was crazy, but there was something about him that you believed he was as real as they come. He gave me the choice and said it would bring us closer for the future. I didn’t want India to die and I didn’t want to Leo to die, but when it came down to it, I chose her because I was selfish and I wanted a brother, I wanted the moment at the gate when he held my hand and told me he was glad I was his sister. Looking back, I should have known it could never be that way, not after choosing the mother of his child to die.”
“It can be though, babe. You said the words, but they meant nothing to him, it was him who carried out the deed. If he could, he would have killed everyone there, including you in the end.”
“That may be but it’s not what happened, it’s not what lives in my head every second of every day. We went down to the bar and he had India and Leo brought up from the basement and I couldn’t look at them. I felt like they would be able to read my face or hear my thoughts. I wish I would have yelled out something or gave them some sort of sign, I should have done something.”
Regret is just as crippling as guilt, heavy and rotting your mind and soul.
“You said he did a lot of talking, what did he specifically talk about?”
“Mostly he went on and on about his plans for us. We’d hide out for a while until the dust settled, as he put it. I was to divorce you so we could get married and then I’d have his kids. It was pure fantasy and it repulsed me to my core.”
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