Wandering Star
Page 33
“Oh, that. Cuza told me something after the night we were together, something that I think the Tarakana told him. He said that when you and I are together that all the good in us gets magnified but so does all the bad. I know the good does because I’ve experienced it and that’s why I will always be in love with you. But right now I want to see what happens when the bad gets magnified. I’ve decided to stay here with you and together we are going to burn the Bodens Gate government to the ground and dance in the ashes.”
Her eyes flicked back up to mine and there was that wildness in them. “I can do that, Ted, I want to do that with you.”
“Alice wouldn’t like me doing it but I have to. She would want me to forgive them and she would be right, but I can’t. It hurts too much, her being gone. Hannah, there was something else the Tarakana told me back while the abandoned city on Cleavus was burning and Angela and Jake were dying. They said that we use our appearance to hide the monsters we really are. At the time I thought they meant the Bovita but now I know they were including our entire species. I look at you, and you’re so beautiful to me, especially seeing you holding Mala Dusa like you are now. I know you’re a monster and I love you anyway because I know I’m one too. There will come a time when we need to cage our monsters again and step away from Bodens Gate. We’ll need to forgive what the people there did to us and the ones we loved. Then I’ll be ready to move on.”
“But not yet.” She got to her feet balancing Dusa against her shoulder. She took my hand and helped me up. “No forgiveness yet, Ted. We can tell ourselves that we’re doing this for the Warrens, but you and I know it’s more personal than that.” She put her hand to my face and kissed me.
I looked up expecting a rebuke from Star since Hannah and I were both still officially RuComm personnel.
“She won’t say anything. I came into the infirmary every night and kissed you. The first time she tried to tell me that it wasn’t acceptable I told her that I’d put all those holes right back in her that I’ve been fixing. She’s been remarkably quiet ever since.”
“Monster.”
“Damn right I am.”
We walked together for the next two kilometers holding hands and enjoying the simulated smells of the desert.
“When this is over, here on Bodens Gate, what should we do next?” she asked.
I stopped and held her close to me, being careful of Mala Dusa. I whispered in her ear and then leaned back and smiled at her.
“Oh. That’s an excellent idea.”
The End