by Ford, Mia
“Alexa, why did we fall apart?” I ask her quietly, my fingers fiddling in my lap. I’m showing my nerves, but it doesn’t matter. Alexa has seen me at my worst anyway. “Because it happened before that dreaded day.”
“It did.” She sucks in air sharply through her teeth. I don’t know if she was prepared for this conversation, but it needs to be had. I’m pretty sure that we both need the air clearing here. “Because I realized that I was more serious about us than you were, which is crazy because we were obviously going to be torn apart the moment my father found out… I guess, as embarrassing as it is to admit, I got carried away anyway.”
“Wow.” That honesty blows me away. “That’s… wow…”
“Oh, you don’t need to worry about me freaking out or anything. I get it now.”
“No, I don’t mean…” I shake my head hard. “I don’t know why you thought that you were more in to me.”
“Because you were still on dating websites.”
“Huh… oh!” It suddenly hits me hard. “That’s something my friend signed me up to.”
“But you were active on it… during the time we were seeing one another.” She smiles sweetly again. “I get it, of course you were keeping your options open, but it just reminded me that I needed to be careful.”
“Wait, wait, wait.” I hold up my hands to silence her. “No, it isn’t what you think.”
“You don’t need to make excuses. It’s done now…”
“No, I’m not going to. I did go on to the dating website, but only when I was trying to convince myself that I didn’t like you as much as I did. I didn’t even message anyone on it because none of them were anything like you. Actually, all that looking at the website did was reinforce how in to you I am.” Shit, I realize my mistake. “Or was…” Her face falls. “No, I might as well be honest. Am.”
Chapter Thirty
Alexa
Am. He said am. He changed it, but then he corrected himself once more. Like he’s still in to me right now. I pushed him away because I thought that he was screwing around, that he was cheating on me, not that we were even together, but it turns out that he wasn’t. None of that was real. He was just having a moment of self-doubt. I can understand that, I have had more than enough moments of doubt myself, which makes it worse.
“So… so you weren’t on dating sites looking for someone else?”
“No.” He actually sounds offended. “Of course not. I wouldn’t have done that to you.”
“Oh my God.” I hold on to my chest, my heart hammering with pain. “I thought… I thought…”
“You should have just asked me. I would have told you that it didn’t happen.”
“I… I guess I didn’t get a chance because of everything that happened afterwards.”
I watch Reece nod slowly, the pain registering on his face too. We’re both now realizing that we lost out on a lot of time for no real reason. Just because of a lack of communication. That sucks.
“Well, I guess things couldn’t have been different anyway,” Reece comments, trying to grasp at straws to make this better. “Since I was sent away. It couldn’t have worked with… you know, the distance.”
“Hmm, yeah. The distance. Right… Only, I’ve been ignoring all of your calls…”
“I know.” He reaches out and touches my hand. “But I totally understand. It’s complicated enough as it is, plus you thought all of those things about me. I get why you didn’t want to speak to me…”
“But it’s madness, isn’t it? All that we lost. It’s a shame.”
“Your father wouldn’t have allowed it anyway,” he replies with a thin smile. “You have to know that.”
“But my father isn’t in charge. Not of me, especially not now. I don’t live with him…”
Reece stares at me, and I do at him, both of us trying to work out what this might mean for us now. We both still want each other, but a lot of the blocks are still in our way, preventing us from just being. Notably, that he’s still away. Things are too fragile with us, I don’t know if we can survive a long distance. Plus, my dad will still be mental about it, and while I’m an adult and I don’t live with him, he’s still a scary guy.
“So, what do we do?” I ask desperately. “How are we supposed to just… move away from this?”
He reaches out for my fingers once more, but he lets them slip through like grains of sand. I wonder if this is a metaphor for what he’s doing with us. Letting us go, moving forward with his life. If that’s the case then I will just have to swallow my pride and accept it, however little I like it. After all, I instigated it by just not talking to him childishly, instead of doing the real adult thing and confronting him about it.
“I… I…” Oh God, here it comes, I can feel it. The speech where he tells me that he has had his closure now and he doesn’t want to ever see my face again. I will have to really let him go then, Oliver too. It will kill me, but I won’t have any choice. I will have to just swallow everything down. “Alexa, I love you.”
Love. “You… you love me?” Those words feel strange between my lips. “Reece, you love me?”
He nods slowly and his lips spread in to a smile. Judging by the expression on his face, he really does mean what he’s saying. He actually does love me. And he’s confident enough to say that aloud. That’s wild.
“Yes, Alexa. I do love you. I have loved you for a very long time actually. Too long. I should have just told you before, but I didn’t want to freak you out. Our communication, huh? It really sucks.”
I laugh, but the sound is hollow and mirthless. “Yeah, our communication is sucky.”
There’s a thick silence clinging to the air, I need to fill it but the words are stuck in my lungs right now. I need to focus on breathing, to make sure that when I finally get the words out, they are the right ones.
“Reece, I… I… I love you too.” Oh my God, that feels incredible to say. “I do, I feel the same way.”
“You do?” He reaches out and he grabs me. He pulls me to him in a hug. It’s probably the perfect moment for us to kiss again, but neither of us make that move. “You really do love me?”
“I do love you, Reece. I do.” My heart soars with joy, even if that might be short lived. “So much.”
I gaze in to his eyes lovingly, wondering if I should push myself up on to my tip toes to kiss him. I know the main moment has passed, but it could still happen, couldn’t it? We could still throw caution to the wind…
But then a grunt comes from the other side of the room, jerking us both from the moment. But I’m not mad about the magic being shattered because this is amazing news. Oliver is awake.
“Oliver!” Reece races across the room to see the moment that his eyes pop open. “Oh, my boy.”
I clutch my hands to my chest, my eyes welling up. This is the most touching, emotional moment I have ever seen. I want to race across the room to join them as well, but this is an intimate family moment, I shouldn’t intervene. I back away towards the door, trying to keep the emotion locked down.
“I will just go and get a nurse or a doctor or something… someone to check on your boy.”
Reece calls something out behind me, but I run off anyway. He would probably want me to hug Oliver with him too, but I might not be around forever more, our thing still might fall apart despite the love that we share, and I don’t want to be a massive part of this memory. It’s going to be something that Reece thinks about a lot.
I grab the first nurse that I see and explain the situation. He nods and agrees that he will come along with a doctor in tow, the moment he gets a chance. He looks happy that Oliver is awake, just like we all feel.
By the time I get back in to the room, I can’t keep away from Oliver anymore. Reece has had his time with his son, so it’s my time. I curl my arms around him and whisper loving things to him. I don’t know if he can hear me, I’m not totally sure how awake this little boy is, but I want him to know how I feel.
Once the
doctor comes in and Oliver is checked over, it’s clear that he’s doing so much better. They even suggest that he might be ready to finally go home tomorrow which is amazing. I can see how happy this makes Reece. So, I stick around, and we spend the rest of the time trying to make sure that Oliver is okay. He’s quiet, he definitely isn’t his usual self, but he seems to be on the up. It’s lovely.
Eventually, I get to meet his new nanny as well. Nadine turns up and I get to meet her. She’s nice. We immediately hit it off, there’s a click between us, which fills me with relief. She couldn’t be less like Valencia if she tried. I love her and I can see that Oliver does too. Reece has done well, he chose someone good.
She’s here to take over watching Oliver as well, insisting that Reece leaves. He doesn’t want to go, and to be perfectly honest, I don’t either, but as Nadine points out, he needs rest to be there for his boy.
I have to admit, I think we might need a little bit of time alone as well. Some heavy things have been said today and they can’t be ignored. We do need to work out what’s going to happen between us before my father inevitably sends him away again, being the insensitive asshole that he is.
Without even communicating what we’re going to do, I climb in to Reece’s car. He doesn’t protest, it seems like this is what he expected me to do, so I go along with it. We talk naturally on the drive back to his, we don’t dive in to any dangerous topics, keeping it light and breezy, which is nice. But there’s a thick under tone, a sexual tension buzzing, sizzling hot and heavy in the air, so the anticipation builds continuously all the way over. I almost can’t wait to be there, just to end the tension before it eats me alive.
“Here we are,” Reece declares as if this is my first ever visit while he pulls up the car. “Okay?”
“Mhmm, yep, I’m fine.” The memories flood me. So much has happened here. “Let’s go inside.”
I expect us to start with the talking as we go inside, that’s the most important thing that needs to be covered, but it isn’t what happens. Our sexual chemistry is what wins out. Of course, I should have known. It was always that way. Hot and fiery, full of chemistry, the way that it hasn’t been with anyone other than him. God, I nearly forgot this feeling. It’s almost as if the fact that we’ve said that we love one another makes it even more intense though. It’s zig zagging powerfully all the way through me, shaking me up inside.
I don’t care anymore. I need to find a way to have this man, this love in my life somehow.
The second that Reece’s front door closes, he shoves me up against the hallway wall, kissing me with all of the passion that has clearly built up over the last two months while we’ve been apart. His hands knot up in my hair, my arms automatically curl around his waist, and I drag him to me. His bulge presses up against me, making me lose my damn mind. Thank God we aren’t talking. How the fuck could we talk through all of this?
“Oh God, Reece.” I love the familiarity of his body. “I need you so much.”
Without even thinking about it, I slide down his body, kissing him on the way down. I push his tee shirt upwards, making sure that my lips and tongue can flicker all over his gorgeous, sexy stomach. I groan as I do, the delicious taste of him really getting the better of me. There’s a pounding, pulsing sensation in my underwear that’s growing increasingly stronger with every passing second. I really do need all of him.
As my knees hit the floor, I dart my eyes upwards to meet Reece’s. His gaze is heady, dazed, full of lust and I love it. Especially as I start to clumsily fiddle with his zipper in a desperate attempt to free him. My mouth is watering, I need to taste him, to feel his thick, throbbing erection pounding away between my lips. I want my mouth filled with his cock, him hitting the back of my throat, shuddering and moaning with bliss because of the sheer power of my tongue.
I want to drive him wild, until he cannot take it any longer, then I want to fuck him senseless. This could either be our last hurrah or the start of something new, and either way I want it to be phenomenal. I’m pretty sure that we both need that…
“Fucking hell, Reece,” I gush as he springs free from his underwear. “It never ceases to amaze me how massive you really are.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Reece
She holds on to me, delicately caressing up and down my length with a happy smile on her face, making me lose my damn mind. With Alexa on her knees, completely submitting to me, I know for sure that I never would have been able to get over her, no matter what I did. It was utterly hopeless to even try.
“Oh fuck.” I run my hands through her hair and toss my head back in ecstasy as she presses her lips gently against my tip, giving me the filthiest, yet most chaste kiss in the world all at one time. “Oh, Alexa.”
She continues to kiss my cock all over, every so often darting out her tongue to lick me like a damn lollipop. She’s expert with her mouth, she knows exactly how to please me, and I’m not even between her lips yet.
“Alexa, I…” I gasp out, trying to find the words to express my need for her, but nothing quite seems to be enough. I don’t know if I could say the right thing, even if I could think of it. “You are…”
She sucks all the air out of my lungs then by blowing a hot breath along me. The shiver runs right through my body, tensing up my thighs as the pleasure gets too much. If she’s not careful, she’ll tip me over the edge before I’ve even been inside her. Her breathing is needy and excitable, just how I feel…
And then I see stars. The moment she parts her lips and she pushes me to the back of her throat, surrounding me in the delicious wet heat of her mouth, I cry out. The guttural yell is so loud I’m sure it shakes all the walls in this building. It’s probably a good job that there isn’t anyone else here for this. I’d have everyone awake and listening in. Not that we did a good job of it anyway, but there wouldn’t be any chance of keeping us secret.
I guide her head up and down my length at first, but soon it’s obvious that I don’t need to. Her lips trace up and down me, her tongue circles me, she’s perfect at sending me in to bliss. The sensation is perfect. Almost too perfect… I’m afraid that I’m going to explode way before I’m ready to. I don’t want that, not when I’ve spent so long missing this woman, wishing that I could have her in my arms. Now I do, and I don’t want to miss the chance to savor every single second. I let go and let her work her magic on me, until I can’t stand it anymore…
“No, stop,” I gasp out. “Stop a minute, it’s too much. You’re too good…”
“I am?” The pleased expression on her face tells me just how happy she is about that remark. “Nice.”
I cup my hands underneath her arm pits and drag her to her feet, instantly crashing my lips to hers the moment she meets my face and I push her top up. Her skin feels hot and flushed between my fingers, even under her bra as I shove that out the way too. Her nipples are rock solid, crying out for me in the same way that my cock is for her. The urge to be in her now is so overwhelming I can barely hold it together.
But I want something that’s a little reminiscent of last time, to remind us of how good we are together, so I start to pull Alexa towards the bedroom. My trousers fall down, coming the rest of the way off, which starts us stripping one another off bit by bit as we go. The clothes are everywhere, we’re leaving quite the mess behind us, but since this is one of the best days of my whole damn life, I’m hardly going to care about that now, am I?
Once in the bedroom, Alexa collapses on the bed as if she belongs there. And she does, she looks amazing on the bed. I don’t ever want her to leave. I climb over the bed and hover above her, feeling like a predator who wants to devour his prey. She smirks and leans up to nip me on my bottom lip. It’s a surprising sensation that makes me squeal, but as I lean down to nip her as well, she starts kissing me passionately. It’s intense, sexy as all hell, and makes me even more rock hard than before. I’m teasing her entrance without even trying to.
“I need you,” she gasps while
rolling her hips in to me. “I need you, Reece. Please…”
I would love to tease her, but I can already feel her hot wetness inviting me in. I’m losing my mind, needing her, wanting every part of her. I slip between her folds and groan with sheer bliss. She feels so good.
“Oh fuck, I forgot about how fucking amazing you are.”
“No, you didn’t,” she gushes while bucking her hips. “You didn’t forget this at all.”
She’s right. As my head spins and the pressure of pleasure builds, I know that I didn’t forget any of this. This is where I’m at home, with her, like this, in Heaven. I hold her tight as we make love, as we physically express the feelings that we shared with one another only a short while before for the very first time. With my arms around Alexa and her body shuddering next to mine, I don’t ever want this moment to end.
“I love you,” I gasp at the moment of explosion. “I love you so much, Alexa.”
“And I love you too. So much that it hurts.”
We come together, holding on to each other and forgetting that the rest of the world is even there. I bury my face in Alexa’s next and breathe her hair in, loving her with every part of me. If this whole mess has taught me anything, it’s that tomorrow is never guaranteed. I have to make the most of right now.
* * *
“Wesley, why aren’t you talking to me?” I ask sadly as he turns away from me. “What did I do? Tom? You too? I mean, I know that it’s awkward but I’m still the same person. You can still talk to me…”
But they don’t want to. No one here does. This is worse than before. I don’t understand. Nothing even feels familiar anymore. It’s like I haven’t ever been here in my life. Never mind spending most of my working life here. I don’t get it. Something is off and I can’t quite put my finger on it yet…