by Ford, Mia
He’s silenced. The Admiral is silenced which is a miracle. I don’t think I have ever witnessed that before, especially when he’s in this mood. But it doesn’t feel good. I want to run away.
“So, I’m going to go, and you can do whatever you want to me, but I need to be here now…”
“You will continue dating my daughter, if you stay?” he asks quietly.
“I don’t know. But it won’t be something that you can control anymore.”
He knows that I’m right, I can see it by the way that his face contorts in agony. I haven’t ever been brave enough to speak to this man like this before and it’s oddly exhilarating. Because it’s for Alexa.
“She is too young for you, Reece. You will end up hurting her. Once you realize that you have nothing in common, you will end up breaking her heart, and I don’t want to see that.” He sighs, almost a little defeated. “She’s been through a lot. I don’t even know how much really because I have always been focused on me and my career, but she has. She might seem resilient, but a lot of that is a cover up. A mask.”
“I know, I see that,” I tell him honestly. “But I’ve seen underneath the mask as well.”
“You have? I didn’t know she knew how to pull that mask off.”
He slumps down in a chair and his head falls in to his hands. I can almost see the disappointment rolling off him in waves. I remain awkwardly in the corner, bouncing from foot to foot, unsure what I should do. Do I talk? Continue on with what we’re talking about, or slip out so he can deal with this alone? Of course, I want to run, that’s my initial reaction, but this isn’t sorted yet. I’m closer than Alexa got, which I suppose means I should just keep going until we have a break through here. If the Admiral is capable of a break through…
“Look, I’m sorry for the way that all of this has gone. I get that you don’t like it, but Alexa is a wonderful person and I love her. I never would have gone anywhere near her if I didn’t. She’s the first person that I’ve fallen for since Christine, and I know that she’ll be the last. We have this connection…”
“No, you just think that you do because she is the first one…”
“Why are you so certain about this? I don’t get it. You sound like you know… wait, do you know?”
“I might have met someone after my wife died,” he says with a sadness to his tone. “And it might have gone wrong. But that’s because it wasn’t right. It was never right. Even from the start.”
Oh shit. It seems to me like we’re about to head in to a heart break story. I don’t know if I’m ready for that.
“I met Beverly six months after my wife died, and I fell hard. I fell hard because I needed someone to fill that hole. I needed someone to be my wife because I didn’t have her any longer. So, maybe I pushed a bit too hard, I went too fast, I tried to create a stronger relationship that was actually there because I just needed to replace what I had. I didn’t just date which of course sent Beverly running for the hills.”
I gulp back, understanding what he’s talking about. When Christine first died, I would have done anything to have that back with anyone. That’s what made me stay inside so much and lock myself away from the world, because I was afraid of what might happen. Maybe if I met Alexa then I would have done the same thing.
“I’m honestly not making that mistake,” I inform him. “I understand your worried but that won’t happen here. I am not pushing Alexa away because I want too much too soon, I’m ready for her. I love her.”
“You love her really?” He stares at me and cocks an eyebrow. “You’re sure.”
“I am sure. I do love her. The separation made that clearer to me. Also, if I just wanted someone, I wouldn’t have picked someone who I shouldn’t really have. I would have gone for someone easier.”
“Easier?” At first, I panic, but then I see a tiny bit of a smile curling up his lips.
“I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant… well, you know what I meant.”
I feel like he wants me to take a seat beside him, so I do just that. He doesn’t freak out and hit me, which I have to take as a good start. It seems like he is finally warming to me, which helps. Or at least I hope it’s going to help. I have too much riding on this to fail. I need to continue bridging this gap.
“Alexa makes me happy, and I think I do the same for her. At least, I think I do. And she didn’t make all of those changes because of me, I just gave her the boost of confidence that she needed. I guess she feels… I don’t know, a little lost and not always good enough and that’s been hard on her. But she’s moving passed that…”
“That’s probably my fault,” he sighs. “Because I’ve always tried to push her to do her best and clearly not in the right way. I guess it’s hard to switch off work mode sometimes with her…”
“We all make stupid mistakes. No one is perfect, especially when it comes to parenting.”
“Huh, how do you know?” he asks, his tone teasing. “You’ve only been a parent for five minutes.”
We laugh together, which is a weird sound. Not one that I thought that I would ever hear. Then we sit in silence for a few moments, both of us just thinking. It’s a comfortable quiet, which is nice. I don’t mind it at all.
“So, I suppose I have a lot of mistakes to make up for,” he finally says. “Starting with you.”
My heart hammers in my chest, my nerves ball up painfully in my stomach, and I stare at him. I don’t know what is going to come out of this, he still might absolutely kick my ass and ruin my life…
“I will make sure you get the job here. The training position that I promised you. That will allow you to be here with your son. I know that you need that, and he does too. It isn’t right to send you away.”
“You will? Are you serious? Oh, thank goodness, that means so much to me.”
“Yeah, well… it’s the right thing to do, isn’t it? And I need to start doing the right thing. I have spent too much time doing the wrong thing.” He breathes deeply. “God, this is going to be a mess.”
“It won’t be. It doesn’t have to be. It can be fine.”
He cocks an eyebrow at me. “You do know Alexa, don’t you? She isn’t easy going.”
“Hmm, yeah you might be right about that. But I can help you.”
He rises to his feet and smiles at me. “That’s really nice of you, but don’t you have your own child to worry about? I’m sure that you would much rather be in the hospital, than here with me.” He holds out his hand to me and I shake it. “I will contact Alexa, I will sort it out. Thank you though, for all of your help.”
I nod and grin at him, glad that we finally have an agreement here. I am actually going to get my life back, the one that I want. I’m going to be able to be here, to be a father to my son, and to be able to have the relationship that I want. What started out as one of the worst conversations of my life has actually turned out okay.
“Okay, well I am going to see Oliver now. I guess I will speak to you soon then.”
“Yes, Reece. I will see you soon.”
There’s a real understanding between us now, and I like that. I really think this might be the first day of a really great relationship between us. One with understanding and hope. Unless this all goes tits up again and we end up at one another’s throats. Who the hell knows?
Chapter Thirty-Four
Alexa
I pace up and down my apartment, chewing on my thumb nail as I do. I expected to find Reece running out behind me as I stormed out of my father’s home, but he didn’t. He stayed there, and I don’t know how long for. I was tempted to go to the hospital, to spend some time with Nadine and Oliver, but to be honest, it didn’t really feel like my place to do so, so I came straight home. But it’s been ages now and I’m still here with no news.
“I should call him,” I tell myself for what feels like the hundredth time. “No, I shouldn’t. I definitely shouldn’t call him. He will contact me when he’s finished with my father… if he isn’t murder
ed, of course. Or my dad doesn’t convince him that he shouldn’t ever speak to me again… which is possible.”
I groan and throw my hands in the air in frustration. This is a nightmare, I hate being out of the loop. I shouldn’t have gone. I stormed out to make a statement, but now I really do regret it. I should have stayed until it was the end of the conversation and I knew for sure that Reece was coming with me.
“Urgh, why did he have to stay? Why couldn’t he just come with me?”
I can’t do it anymore. I’m going to have to just call him already. It’s all well and good pretending that I’m cool but I’m pretty sure that he knows me well enough to understand that I’m not.
Ring, ring… Ring, ring… Ring, ring…
“Come on, come on, come on…” I grunt as I wait impatiently. “Come on, Reece.”
“Hello?” he answers, panting, sounding worn out. I breathe out a sigh of relief as he does. I don’t think he quite understands how worried I’ve been that he’s been killed. “Sorry, Alexa, I was just going to call you.”
“Where are you? What’s going on? Is everything alright?” My heart races fearfully.
“I’m at the hospital. Sorry, I had to run there after I left your father’s home to check on Oliver.”
“And he’s okay, right? Nothing has changed with him? Do you need me to come now?”
“He’s good, don’t worry. He’s actually coming home today, which is why I haven’t called yet…”
“Oh, that’s good. Really good. I’m glad to hear that. I bet he can’t wait to get back to his normal life.”
“No, he’s very excited, and I am too…” Reece sounds distracted, of course he is.
“Well, I don’t want to get in the way, you continue on with your day. Oliver needs you right now.”
I still want to know what’s going on with my father, but I cannot be selfish. I have all the time in the world to get my answers. He needs to deal with his son right now. I can wait. I have to wait. It’s the right thing to do.
“Yeah, I will be in touch with you soon. As soon as I can, thanks, Alexa. Thank you for understanding.”
He hangs up the phone then, leaving me with only the dial tone for company. It’s good, I’m glad that I finally know what’s going on, but I’m still a little empty. I still feel a little bit lost here…
Ring, ring… Ring, ring…
I grab my phone again quickly, assuming that it’s going to be Reece calling me back. Perhaps through all of the distraction he noticed how much I needed him and he’s sweet enough to get back to me…
“Dad?” Uh oh, it isn’t who I thought, but it seems like I’m going to get my answers anyway. “Er, hello?”
I didn’t intend to answer the phone then, but my fingers did the work for me. My hand shakes violently so I can barely hear my father’s strained greeting. He doesn’t sound like himself., I do notice that much.
“Alexa, do you have a moment for me to talk to you?”
“Erm, sure? What’s going on, Dad? What… what happened today?”
“Well, after you left, I had a serious conversation with Reece, and he made me see… some things.”
“He…” I gulp, this is almost too much for me. I cannot believe that my dad listened to him. “He did?”
“He made me see that you two are really in love. That it isn’t just a fling.”
“I was trying to tell you that, Dad, but you didn’t want to listen to me.”
“I know… but in case you haven’t noticed, I’m not the best at listening,” my dad admits. “But I want to be better. I want to be a good parent for you, because I think that you deserve that. I have always wanted the best for you. I know that I have tried to push you too hard and in the wrong direction, but I’ve only ever wanted you to be happy. That’s what’s been happening recently, you have been making some great strides in the right direction… and much as it pains me to admit, Moore seems to make you very happy.”
I smile to myself. “Yeah, he does make me very happy. I love him, Dad.”
I can tell that my father isn’t totally comfortable with this yet, but he will be. In the end. I just need to give him some time. This is all that I wanted, for him to consider me an actual adult who can make her own decisions. I wasn’t able to make that happen, but somehow, Reece was. I really do love him.
“Okay, well if you love him then so be it. You just… carry on.”
“Is he staying here? Because it’s going to cause us issues if he’s away in the field.”
“He’s staying here,” Dad confirms. “But not because of you. Because of his son. He needs to be here for Oliver, I can see that. I should have seen that right away, but you know… I’m not great at that sort of thing.”
“Okay. Well, that’s great, Dad. I think that’s wonderful. I appreciate that and I’m sure Reece does too.”
“Right, well… I will call you sometime soon then. See what’s going on with you.”
We say our goodbyes and hang up the phone, but I leave my cell presses up against my ear for a little while just thinking. That was insane, the weirdest conversation that I have ever had with my father, and it’s left me speechless. Somehow, Reece has managed to squash years of animosity in a short time.
He’s incredible. Absolutely amazing. No wonder I fell in love with him. I feel more in love with him every moment. And this has really tipped me over the edge. I will never stop loving him.
I’m still going to have to find out exactly what happened. Reece will have to go through every single moment with me but the end result is amazing. Reece is staying here and my dad kind of approves of us. I couldn’t ask for more than that! I’m over the moon, it feels like we are finally on the right track. The happy ever after is within my sights at last, I cannot believe it. I must be the luckiest woman alive.
* * *
I leap up out of bed to the sound of knocking at my front door, making me wonder how long I have been asleep. It’s not too light so it can’t be very late, but it feels like I’ve missed days. I guess the last few days have finally caught up with me, and I can’t shake the tiredness even by rubbing my eyes.
“Coming,” I cry out while grabbing my robe. “Hold on, just a second.”
I race to the door, expecting it to be the mail man on the other side of it, but it isn’t. My heart stops beating as I run my eyes up and down him, everything inside of me leaping and skipping for joy. My whole body pounds and reacts, just like it did the very first time I saw this man.
“Reece!” I leap up in to his arms and hold him tight. Then I press kisses all over his face and lips. “You’re here. I wasn’t expecting to see you for a while. Did Oliver come out of the hospital?”
“Yeah, he’s out. Nadine has him at the moment, he’s fine. Doing really well.”
“Oh right… well, you didn’t need to take time off from him to come and see me.”
“Oh, he’s fine. Oliver was asking for her anyway. He’s become used to her. Plus, I wanted to see you anyway. I haven’t had a chance to talk to you since I spoke with your father yesterday…”
“Yeah, he called me, actually. It was the weirdest thing. He apologized…”
“He did? Wow, that’s incredible.” Reece carries me inside and laughs. “What a change, huh?”
“You are going to have to tell me how you did that at some point. Seriously.”
He goes through the conversation, the parts of it that he can remember, which I suppose makes sense considering my father is so scary. I can barely remember anything that I have said to him either. As he talks, I’m utterly blown away by him. He’s an impressive person, one that I need to keep around.
“So, what happens for us now then?” I ask. “Now that you’re here for the long haul.”
“What do you mean?” he chuckles. “This is it. Everything that we want. Now, we get to just be together. We don’t have to face drama, we don’t have to keep things in secret. We can just be…”
“I love the sound of that.
It really warms me up. Just being, just having a relationship with you.”
He leans down and kisses me gently, smiling as he does. I can really feel our future flowing between us. It’s straight forward and amazing now, and I love it. I couldn’t be happier if I tried.
“So, how long do I have you for?” I demand with a smirk. “Did you want to come to the bedroom with me?”
“Ooh, now come on, as if I’m going to refuse a request like that.”
I grab his shirt and pull him towards my bedroom, staring in to his eyes the entire time. He’s so gorgeous, so beautiful, so wonderful, and he’s all mine. For real this time, nothing is going to get in the way.
“I love your apartment, by the way,” he declares while barely looking around. “It’s great.”
Oh yeah! I forgot this was the first time that he’s ever been around to my place. We’ve always been in his. I kinda like this, showing him more of the person who I have become. I have taken great pride in this place, making it my own, turning it in to my own little haven, and I love showing the most important man in my life.
“Hmm yeah, it’s awesome, isn’t it? But it will look better with your clothes on the floor.”
“That is such a cheesy line,” he tosses his head back and laughs. “But I love it. I love you too.”
“Good, because you’re probably going to hear a lot more of them while you’re with me.”
“I’m going to have to get used to a lot of things being with you… thankfully, I don’t mind one bit.” I kiss him gently. “And of course I love you too. But I think that you knew that already.”
“Thank goodness, because this is everything that we’ve been fighting for.”
As we strip one another down, and we kiss each other all over, I feel the deep blissful peace that can only come from finding true happiness. I finally have the man I love, the life I love, I have it all. And I worked for it. I didn’t have it just handed to me, which makes it even better. I earned it myself.