“No, Aunt. I am not engaged to Miss Elizabeth Bennet.” This seemed to throw Lady Catherine for a minute.
“Are you telling me that she had the audacity to refuse you?!” Lady Catherine bellowed “That does not make sense. Especially since she refused to give me the promise that I came here seeking from you. Promise me that you will never enter into an engagement with Miss Bennet. Her very words were, 'I shall certainly never give it. I am not to be intimidated into anything so wholly unreasonable. Your Ladyship wants him to marry your daughter; but would my giving the wished-for promise make their marriage all the more probable?'
I found her totally unreasonable. Now I find that you have already once before offered your hand. Have you both lost your minds?! What is this madness I find?” This made Darcy start. He feared that some word had reached Lady Catherine after all about his illness in May. “Have you lost your mind, Darcy? How can you even think about polluting the woods of Pemberley with that woman? A woman whose family is the most vulgar and disreputable. I know all about her youngest sister’s elopement with the son of your father’s steward. I know it all!” No, you don’t! If you did, you would be even more insupportable! “Darcy, I must have an answer. Promise me that you will not make that poor, and vulgar woman mistress of Pemberley.”
Darcy was completely indignant. “Madam, I will always have the highest regard for you and my dear cousin. You have now spoken your mind too forthrightly! I too will speak my mind. To begin Miss Elizabeth is right, even if she and I never marry, I would never marry Anne. Next, I can now see that I have taken after yourself too much. Now I understand my poor behaviour of the last year! Third, I insulted my beloved Elizabeth when I proposed. She was quite correct to reject me. You, madam, have been a constant source of embarrassment to me. Now you dare despise Elizabeth Bennet for what her sister did and how her mother behaves. Your behaviour is as bad as her mother’s! As for her sister's behaviour, she is silly and vain. The root cause of her folly lies entirely in George Wickham. Madam, other young women have been so close to such behaviour. Not because they were badly brought up, but because he preys on the young and vulnerable. Better women than Mrs Wickham have been deceived by Mr Wickham. If you insist on insulting Miss Elizabeth Bennet and her family, then I must request you to leave this house.”
“Fitzwilliam Darcy, this is not to be borne. I have NEVER had such speech levelled at me. How dare you speak to me like that?!”
“Madam, you are my aunt, and you are NOT at liberty to interfere in any of my affairs. I thank you for the information that she refused to consent. My dear aunt, I do not believe that you even realised that I was ill when I left you last May.” Darcy’s heart was light. All he wanted was to be back in Hertfordshire with his beloved Elizabeth. He could not wait to claim the woman that by all reports was now his for the claiming. It was all he could do not to break out in a massive smile, despite how furious he was with his aunt. It seemed so strange. Darcy was so full of anger towards his aunt. Yet the knowledge that she brought with her about Elizabeth’s feelings had his heart singing. Anger could not co-exist with such a wonderful turn of events. He could not allow his aunt to see his happiness, though. She would become even more recalcitrant and insupportable.
“Darcy, you were sick on my carpet, of course, I knew that you were ill. I came here to get a promise from you. Will you promise me that you will not enter into such an engagement?”
“No, my dear aunt I will not promise any such thing! the only promise I can make is that if she will accept me, Miss Elizabeth Bennet will become my wife. That is a situation that could not happen soon enough for me.”
“Have you no regard for your cousin’s feelings and hopes?! From your cradles, you were destined for each other!”
“Madam, you have put those hopes into your daughter’s head. She is a pale, sickly creature which has NOTHING to offer a man of sense and understanding. From a child, I had formed the resolution in my mind that I would NEVER marry her.”
“I am leaving. I am exceedingly angry, Darcy. I do not know where all your insolence has come from. Please do not think that you will be welcome at Rosings in future if you marry that woman.”
“My dear aunt, that is for my cousin Anne to decide.”
“I am the Mistress of Rosings yet!”
“No, madam, you are the guardian of it until Anne marries or decides to take control of Rosings herself. Anne, is of age, and can take control of her own estate at any time. Rosings is Anne’s not yours madam.” Lady Catherine seemed to diminish visibly in his sight. Reminding her that she had nothing seemed to remove her bluster. Lady Catherine kept Anne down. She purposefully forgot that she was the guardian until Anne would come of age. When Anne had come of age she had not been told of the option of taking control. She had left her mother in charge of Rosings Park, but now Darcy resolved to send Anne another letter. Lady Catherine swept out of the room. She left the house and climbed angrily into her carriage. She did say goodbye to her nephew.
Darcy felt like he was walking on air. Elizabeth refused to oblige my aunt. She might take my hand in marriage. He thought about the letter he had received announcing Bingley's engagement. Darcy had been pleased to see that Jane had written Bingley’s letter for him. Her hand had an easy flowing nature but was not as even or neat as his own. He was about to reply to his friend's letter when he thought he could surprise his friend, returning a day early. Georgiana would stay in town; his aunt had given him all the information that he needed. No, having his little sister underfoot would hinder his plans, not aid them. He didn’t know how the rumour of his attachment to Elizabeth had reached his aunt, but he didn’t care at that moment. All seemed right in his world now. He could no longer contain the broad smile that now cracked across his face. He would worry about his Aunt and her behaviour later.
Georgiana arrived soon afterwards, her intention is to spend the day with her brother. Darcy had retired to his library, to try and settle his mind with a good book. Georgiana, had other ideas. She started to attack him about their Aunts visit, for she had seen the carriage leave as she arrived. “Fitzwilliam, I know that our aunt does not visit you unless she wants you to marry Anne. Something tells me that this visit was different.” Georgiana’s keen observations were beginning to make Darcy nervous. She was much more astute than her shy nature had ever allowed him to realise before. He would have to be very careful about what he said and did in front of his sister from now on.
“Yes, this visit was different” Sighed Darcy.
“What did she want?”
“Somehow, she has heard a rumour about me becoming engaged to Miss Elizabeth.”
“Where would she hear that?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know any mutual acquaintances that could have told her anything.”
“Well, it doesn’t matter – does it?”
“Yes, I’m afraid it does. You see, Aunt wanted me to promise that I would not become engaged to Miss Elizabeth, and I couldn’t oblige her. In fact, I threatened to throw her out of the house for insulting Elizabeth.”
“Fitzwilliam Darcy!” Georgiana exclaimed “what on earth possessed you to go that far? I know Aunt Catherine is difficult. I would have thought respect for her as mama’s sister would have stopped you saying that! That will only make matters worse. I don’t know what is going to happen, but I have a bad feeling about it all.”
“Don’t worry, Georgie. She brought news to me that she had already asked Elizabeth to give her the same promise. She also refused to make such a pledge.”
“That must make you happy.”
“Ecstatic, I want to go down tonight.”
“Not a good idea. You’re planned to go back on Monday anyway, right?”
“Correct.”
“Then, wait and go back down Monday, let the opening come to you rather than rushing in.”
“Thank you, Georgiana. I will.” Georgiana stayed and listened to her brother tell her all his hopes and plans. This gradually led to him telling her abou
t the gradual change in his manners. He told her Elizabeth had said that he had behaved in an ungentlemanly manner. He also told her how he had come to see that their aunt was no better than Mrs Bennet. Georgiana listened to her brother with patience. She was hoping only that his dreams and plans would come to fruition.
Sleeplessness was so frequent now that Darcy wondered if he would ever sleep well again. Before he had met Elizabeth, he had been asleep as soon as his head had hit the pillow. Now it seemed that almost every night he was struggling to get to sleep. Tonight, was no exception. The information that his aunt had brought to him, had him questioning his own judgement, again. He had settled that Elizabeth was avoiding him during their most recent interactions. Now he realised that there was another explanation. Perhaps it had just been a coincidence. Maybe she had been as frustrated by the lack of conversation as he himself had been. His head was so full of Elizabeth that he had no time to start questioning his behaviour towards his aunt. The logical part of his brain was whispering to him that he should not have abused her. Yet ever since his youngest days, she had tried to dominate every male of his acquaintance. His Father, though only her brother-in-law, had been in awe of such an opinionated woman. She had consistently badgered Lewis deBourg for a long time, to provide more for her. He had the last laugh in his will. If Anne dies, his entire estate, including Rosings, would passes to Colonel Fitzwilliam. He provided for Anne but made sure that Lady Catherine would never get her hands on Rosings Park. This had been a wise move on Darcy's uncle’s part. Darcy’s annual review of the estate showed his Aunt was extravagant. She would destroy the deBourg heritage should she have sole control over the estate.
Thinking back to his childhood, all Darcy had ever known were strong willed women. They overshadowed the men in their lives. It was this early experience that Darcy had realised his reserve had come from. He wanted to shake this off, but every woman in his life had to some degree, or another dominated him. They had tried to make him think badly of either himself or those around him. Especially those who were less well provided for. Servants were there for no other reason than to wait for them rather than having lives of their own. The poor were there only to make them feel better about the money they had. Giving the poor small amounts of charity and despising them when that charity was not enough.
Elizabeth was different. She had grown up a gentleman’s daughter. Despite her mother’s lack of breeding she treated everyone with respect. She indeed had taught him a hard lesson, but one that he thanked her for. That night at the parsonage, now no longer made him angry to think of it. Only George Wickham's falsehoods made him angry. He no longer blamed her for refusing him. Despite the fact her opinions were based on false premises she was true to what she believed. No, he felt almost tender, grateful even, that she had opened his eyes, to how he appeared to others. She had also taught him that he was to think about others more and even learn to value their opinions. It had been a bitter pill to swallow. He had thought himself to be everything noble. His servants and tenants had never complained. Elizabeth had shown him how his behaviour came across to those who didn’t know him. He was still learning. He knew that he had a long way to go to be a truly generous and gracious man. He hoped at least that he had already improved to a certain degree. He had blushed at his aunt’s bad manners at Rosings. Lady Catherine had embarrassed him at Rosings. She had told Elizabeth she was no better than a governess or servant. It was Mrs Jenkins pianoforte that was offered to her for practice. Darcy understood what Lady Catherine had meant. He was sure that Elizabeth had too, although she replied with dignity. Dignity. How could Elizabeth have so much dignity while those around her and him had so little? Was it something that was taught? Was it something that was inherent to the person? Maybe there were elements of both. Maybe it was something that if you were not born with a certain amount then you could not be taught it. Or was it the case that those around the two of them had not learnt dignity. Darcy could hear Bingley’s voice in his head, Darcy you think too deep. Lighten up man! Enjoy the fact that Elizabeth will accept you.
Darcy’s thoughts changed direction. ‘I had not known you a month before I felt that you were the last man I could ever marry.’ Darcy realised the promise Lady Catherine had requested, echoed Elizabeth's refusal. Elizabeth had said so many disapproving and terrible things about him to his face. He had no doubt she would have told Lady Catherine how he had behaved. But would she? She had been given the chance when teasing him with Colonel Fitzwilliam at Rosings. She could have repeated the ungracious words that Darcy had spoken at the ball. He was sure she had overheard him. “She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me. Bingley, I’m in no humour to give consequence to young ladies who have been slighted by other men.” Once more as Darcy remembered those words, he felt all the shame of that night and since. His alarm at the thought of talking to a young woman was such that he spoke before he thought about his words. His alarm had given way to shame. Only at the Rosings parsonage did he realise the full extent of the hurt that he had inflicted. On reflection, it had been a ridiculous thing to say. How could he be giving consequence to ladies slighted by other men when there were not enough men to begin with. Especially when the rules of decorum saying that you don’t dance with the same lady more than twice. He knew that he had been ridiculous that night. Once more Elizabeth’s words from the parsonage returned to afflict him. ‘Had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner.’ Oh, how he wished that he could redo that year over. Maybe it would have been possible to expose Wickham without exposing Georgiana. Perhaps he should have told the truth to Elizabeth sooner. She had asked him about Wickham at Netherfield. He had a chance to set the record straight and he had decided to do nothing. No that was not true. He had been more concerned with interfering with Bingley's relationship. He should never have waited until that night at the parsonage to tell the truth. Perhaps he should have visited the Bennet's day after ball to tell her in person. His letter, he wanted to rewrite in softer terms. He wanted to give the same information without the bitterness. But it was all too late; he could not change those things. It was one of the rules of life that you could not go back and change the past.
Bingley was now engaged to Miss Bennet. When she had received the notice, Miss Bingley had written a harsh letter to Darcy. She wanted to know why he had allowed her brother to associate with Miss Bennet again. She especially wanted to know why he had allowed Bingley to become engaged to Miss Bennet. Darcy had chosen not to reply to her letter. He had decided to take it to Netherfield. It would be the start of having Mr Bingley deal with his sister. Back to Lady Catherine. How could he make her understand how much he wanted Elizabeth, and yet repair the damage of what he said last night? He was not going to apologise for the content. Every word he had said was the truth. Yet he should not have spoken that way to his aunt. She had become affronted with his manner as much as the content. The more he thought about it all, the less he slept, and the less he slept, the more he thought about everything. Writing in his journal didn’t help either, it only opened other questions. His mind would not stop whirling. Eventually, he decided to put it all out of his head and at length slept. His dreams were full of his relations, and most especially of Elizabeth.
The next day, having determined not to travel on Saturday, Darcy could think of nothing else to do with his time. That was why he surprised his friend returning to Netherfield in time for dinner. Bingley was in high spirits. He talked non-stop about Miss Bennet and all her perfections. He talked about how all his hopes for the future were to come to fruition in a very short time. Darcy found that he had little need to say anything. Darcy's mind completely disengaged. His thoughts turned once more to Longbourn in a state of hopeful happiness. Eventually Bingley stopped talking about his own happiness. Darcy was then able to find out when Bingley would next be at Longbourn. This, unfortunately, was not to be for a few days. Engagements were now coming in from all the principal families of the area, to dine and visit. The improvements o
n the estate now needed Bingley’s attention. Bingley informed his friend that he would be riding to Longbourn on Wednesday.
“Bingley, I now need to talk to you very seriously about your sister.”
“Darcy, tell me what she has done now?”
“I received a letter from her the other day, in truth on Friday, which has disturbed me. I am not sure that I should show you, and yet if I do not, then I may end up writing something back that I will regret. It is your job and not mine to correct her.” Darcy handed his friend the letter that he had recently received from Miss Bingley. Mr Bingley’s features as he read the letter, which was so full of bad grace and ill manners, showed how angry he was. Mr Bingley asked Darcy to write for him. He wanted Caroline to be in no doubt of what he was saying. Darcy sat down with his writing paper and pen. With a brief memory of writing to his sister, during Elizabeth's visit, he waited for Bingley’s dictation. This is the Letter that he wrote on behalf of his friend.
Netherfield 10th October 1812
My dear Caroline,
Thank you for your concern about me. Please, would you return to Netherfield within the week? I desire to speak with you about the part that you have played in the interference in my affairs over the last year.
Charles Bingley
Darcy thought this to be too generous a letter for such grave misbehaviours. He let it go as his friend he knew had an easier temper than he had. If Georgiana had been in Miss Bingley's position, Darcy would have sent a much sterner letter. Georgiana would have been very frightened when she received it. The rest of the evening passed off well. Darcy informed Bingley about his business in London, and his aunt's visit. Darcy swore Bingley to secrecy about his being in the neighbourhood. He wanted no intelligence to reach Elizabeth’s ear of his being back. He wanted to see how she reacted to seeing him unexpected. Until he had seen Elizabeth, he didn’t want to be going into an endless round of visiting. The only thing he wanted to do was see Elizabeth. He wanted an end to his misery and heartbreak.
1812 How It All Began- Part 2 Page 13