For Crying Out Loud: The laugh out loud romantic comedy that everyone's talking about! (The False Start Book 1)

by J. Preston

  He wouldn’t, would he?

  I move my eyes to his mouth and whaddya know? There are chocolate stains in the corners of his mouth. Just like that, all my gooey feelings are gone.

  Bastard ate my chocolate cake!

  I am about to walk over to the chocolate cake thief and strangle the living crap out of him when the door to my room bursts open.

  “A-ha!” Jason jumps in, spreading his legs into a wide stance and pointing his finger at the empty bed. I raise my eyebrows at him as he collects himself and starts picking at non existing flecks on his shirt, pretending like his grand entrance never happened. “Hey man,” he nods to Aiden, who’s still splayed out in the armchair. “I thought you might be here already.”

  “Just got here,” Aiden replies, getting up and brushing crumbs off of his lap. They greet each other in an awkward fist pump, hug motion I never got the hang of while I go back to the bathroom to put on some makeup.

  When I emerge back into the room, I’m greeted by the sight of Jason, Aiden, and my dad grunting and circling each other like three male gorillas. If it wasn’t for the random burst of laughter, I’d have thought… Frankly, I have no idea what, but I’m glad I interrupted that bit of male bonding.

  “You guys ready?” I ask, slipping my feet into a pair of black pumps. As if on cue, all three of them turn around to face me, grinning.

  It’s weird.

  I decide to ignore them and grab my coat and bag and head for the door, hoping that they’ll just follow me outside. They do.

  We pile into one of London’s iconic black cabs and ride the short distance to Aiden’s house in the heart of Kensington. Before long, we pull up in front of a white, high, wooden gate. You can just about see the white brick house set behind the green line of trees obscuring the view of what’s inside. When Aiden opens the gate, three brown Labradors run towards us wagging their tails and their whole bodies.

  “This is Fisher, Becker, and Buchanan,” Aiden says, pointing at the excited dogs.

  I burst out laughing. “Named after the Economists I presume?” I lean down to pat Becker on his head. “You’re the best out of the three anyway, aren’t you boy? Family economics is the way to go.” I wink at Becker as he wags his tail in response, licking my hand.

  “She’s a girl,” Aiden’s dad says from the front steps of the house, making me straighten up.

  “Sorry,” I mutter apologetically.

  “Don’t be. It’s refreshing knowing a young lady who can appreciate Economics.” He smiles at me. “Jennifer, Jason, it’s good to see you again. And you must be Robert?” He extends his hand to my dad, who stiffly shakes it.

  We’re quickly ushered inside and down the grand entrance into the reception room. Becker, Fisher, and Buchanan decide to follow my every move and slobber all over me, not that I mind.

  Huh.

  You think they learned that from Aiden?

  Most likely.

  Aiden’s dad is constantly in and out of the room, glued to his blackberry, and his mum makes an appearance just as we’re about to sit down for dinner. She’s overly friendly. The type of friendliness that’s hard to trust.

  Slowly, I begin to understand why Aiden doesn’t like to talk about home or his childhood. It becomes more and more evident that even though he never lacked clothes, books, or lavish gifts, attention from his parents was sparse to say the least.

  There’s a chill in the air when we settle for dessert in the drawing room, and I find myself wishing I brought my cardigan with me. Aiden’s mum and dad bombard me with questions in between undermining Aiden’s grades, and I feel like I’m in some sort of a weird interview.

  Aiden sits stiffly next to me, giving only short answers. His pocket keeps on buzzing and, with every vibration of a text or call, he gets more and more agitated.

  I don’t recognise the boy next to me. So, in between the questioning, I busy myself by petting the three dogs who positioned themselves around me.

  “Well, the dogs like her,” Aiden’s mum brings me out of my thoughts, “and she’s a good influence on Aiden,” she continues as I watch my dad’s face knot into one of disapproval. “I approve.” She gets up and walks over to me, giving me a stiff and distant hug while Aide’s dad grunts something incoherent.

  So it was an interview.

  When she pulls away, I look over at Aiden, who is staring at the screen of his phone.

  His face is paper white and his eyes are wide.

  29 J To The Double N

  When life gives you lemons, ask life if you can trade them for grapes; because wine is better than lemonade.

  - Jason

  Aiden

  As we settle into the drawing room for dessert, my phone vibrates with another text message. I sigh with frustration. This has to stop. I’ve been getting these texts since we left for London, and, as much as I’m trying to ignore them, it’s hard.

  I look over at Jenny; the dogs are lying at her feet. I don’t blame them for that instant love. If I were a dog, I’d be gazing lovingly at her too. My chest squeezes at that thought, and I start thinking about Jake. Poor bastard is probably getting smothered at Casa del Uncle Carter. I didn’t come up with that creepy name, Kennedy did. I decide to check in on the beast and text Carter to see how the two of them are doing. Jake had his cast taken off last week, so I’m worried. A reply comes back almost instantly.

  CARTER: DUDE!!!!!! HOW DARE YOU! It’s sooo early and your loud text is making my morning headache even worse!! STOP this torture RIGHT NOW!

  I stifle a laugh. Morning headache, right… ‘Morning headache’ are just pretty words for a hangover in his ever-so-confusing language.

  My phone buzzes with incoming texts, so I glance down at what Carter could possibly come up with this time. Instead, I see an onslaught of new messages.

  Sighing, I leave the phone face down on my lap and move to hold Jenny’s hand, gently squeezing it just as another text vibrates. Jason snatches the phone off my lap and, without changing his expression, scrolls through it. Without meeting my eye, he puts the phone in his pocket.

  When we get back to the hotel, Jason pulls me to the side. “What the fuck?”

  “What?” I meet his gaze.

  “Why the hell didn’t you tell me about all these texts from Chloe? There’s like a hundred of them.”

  “What’s there to tell?” I mutter.

  “How long has she been texting you?”

  I hesitate. “Ever since that night… The one I got sloshed,” I clarify.

  Jason snickers. “Still can’t believe that our Golden Boy got shitfaced.”

  I shake my head. “I should be worried, shouldn’t I?”

  “Yes. Chloe can be…a bit obsessive. Last year, she stalked me for over eight months after I broke things off with her. I’m telling you, never bring chicks to your place. Oh wait, you live with your chick…psych!” He grins.

  “You know it’s your sister you’re talking about, right?” I shake my head. Jason’s mischievous expression falls while he thinks through his previous statement. “I admit the whole Chloe thing is getting out of hand. I’m seriously starting to think she might have lied about what exactly happened. Apparently, it wouldn’t be the first time either…”

  “Nope, she’s done it before. Trust me. Have you talked to J to the double N about what happened that night?”

  “I tried, but we never actually discussed it. She said she wanted to wipe the slate clean.”

  “Well, in this case, I think you should. And soon. Shit like that is bound to come back to haunt you.” He’s right. Probably for the first time in his life. “Look, I’ll take care of her. I’ll text her or something, try getting her off your back.”

  “You’d do that?” I whip my head up to look at my best friend.

  “I guess I just want my sister to be happy, and you seem to make her happy, so…I’ll take one for the team.” He exhales. I’m almost ready to jump on him and hug the living shit out of him in gratitude. Almost
. But Jenny comes over and slips her hand into mine.

  “All good?” she asks as Jason busies himself by tapping away on his phone. His tongue is sticking out in concentration.

  I nod.

  “I’m going up to my room. This lobby is so cold that one more minute out here and my nuts are going to freeze. And since I want to have children one day… You get my drift.” Jason walks into the open lift, then stops in his tracks with his hand on the button. He slowly turns around and looks at Jenny and I. “I’m going to get sloshed and see if my father would like to partake in the sloshing.” He grins like an idiot just as the door closes on him.

  Jenny asks. “What was that about?”

  “Jason being Jason.”

  “Are you up for a walk? I want to show you something.” She nods. I wrap her scarf tighter and pull her hat on, then take her hand and lead her out of the hotel. We walk a couple of streets before she speaks. “I saw Chloe texted you.”

  My heart speeds up. “You did?”

  “Yeah.” She nods, her voice barely above a whisper. “I didn’t look. I just saw her name pop up on your screen.”

  “Jenny, about that night—” I start as we turn a corner.

  “I’m not sure I want to know,” she interrupts me. “I think it’s better if I don’t, you know?” She sniffles. “It hurts even thinking about it.”

  I don’t want her to hurt. I want to protect her, tell her that everything will be okay and that…I love her. “Kitten—”

  “Meow,” she replies, making light of the conversation.

  “Oh, wow,” she gasps as we reach our destination. “It looks so much smaller now. It used to feel so big, didn’t it?” She takes a step forward to the playground in front of our old school.

  I guide her to the two swings I used to despise after that day. They look unassuming now. Jenny sits on one of the swings as I sit on the other.

  “You know,” Jenny whispers conspiratorially, “I carved my name on the bottom of the one you’re sitting on.”

  I gasp in mock horror. “Vandal!”

  “Not such a goody two shoes now, am I?”

  “Never thought you were.” I smile. “Wanna check if it’s still there?”

  “Yes!” she exclaims, excited.

  My heart hammering in my chest, I grab the wooden seat and slowly turn it as Jenny claps her hands. Her eyes search the wood for less than a second before she sees the carving. She frowns.

  “Aiden, I don’t understand,” she says, looking from the carving to me, then back to the carving. I look down. Her name is still visible. She did a good job carving it.

  JENNY C., it says.

  Right underneath her name there’s a small ‘+’ sign, and under it a neatly carved AIDEN V.

  Both names wrapped in a wonky heart.

  “What can I say? I wasn’t a very good artist.” I smile.

  “When did you—”

  “The same day you carved your name. I saw you, got intrigued, and when you left, came to examine.”

  “But that was halfway through the school year…months before you even talked to me.” I can see the confusion on her face, and I take a step towards her.

  “I carved my name next to yours in hopes that you’d look at your handiwork again, see it, and realise that I was in love with you and…I don’t know, throw me a bone? Talk to me?” I smile.

  “You what?” she chokes out.

  “Silly, silly, kitten.” I put my hand on her cheek to draw her in closer to me. “I said, I was in love with you. But that’s not right, is it? I’ve never stopped being in love with you. From the first day I saw you, I was smitten, and it only grew. Even when you broke my heart, I still loved you. I hated you, but I loved you.”

  “Aiden… I— I—”

  “I love you, Jennifer Elisabeth Cowley. I have never loved anyone else.” I capture her lips in mine, and she folds into me, responsive and warm and so damn inviting. It starts to drizzle, but she doesn’t seem to notice. I want to stay like this forever, but I’m worried she’ll catch a cold, so I pull away. She smiles at me dizzily, and I brush my thumb against her swollen lips.

  “Let’s go back.” I take her hand and turn back towards the street.

  “Wait.” Her voice is hoarse and her cheeks are flushed.

  “You want to—”

  “I love you too.” She pulls my face back to hers, kissing me so hard I’m pretty sure there’s steam rising from both of our bodies.

  30 Mile High Club

  I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times just to be sure.

  - Aiden

  Jenny

  “First thing I did when I got back to the hotel after that magical afternoon was text Hayley and Carter, obviously. I mean, saying the ‘L’ word to each other is major news, and they deserved to be the first to know. Besides, I only ever said it to my family and Jake before. When Aiden said that he loved me, the rush I felt was incomparable to anything I’ve ever experienced before. Suddenly, all the colors were brighter, all the sounds clearer, and everything seemed…just…so…good. And happy! I finally understood the meaning of the song lyrics to all the love songs. They all make sense now…you know?

  “Hayley was obviously ecstatic for me. We spent hours on Skype analyzing every single detail, probably over-analyzing. But that’s what girls do. It’s totally normal. Trust me. Anyway, Carter is the one I’m worried about. Normally, I can’t swat the guy away with a fly swatter thingy for the life of me! This time…it took him hours to reply to me and all he said was, ‘That’s great, Jenny. I’m happy for you.’ No emojis, no exclamation marks, no sexual innuendos, no making fun of me, and most disturbingly of all, he called me JENNY. He never calls me that. EVER!

  “I guess what I’m trying to say, or ask, is why do you think he would act like that?” I turn my face to the guy sitting next to me by the bar on the transatlantic flight. His expression is bored as he twirls a glass drink stirrer around in his martini glass. I look at him expectantly, clutching my empty champagne glass like my life depends on it.

  The guy shrugs his shoulders.

  “Oh, come on! You must have some insight!” I exclaim.

  “Lady—”

  “Jenny,” I interrupt him.

  “Jenny,” he starts again. “I don’t know. I just want to peacefully have a drink before I land and have to see my family again. I’ve got my own problems. My wife is divorcing me, my sixteen year old daughter just decided she wants to drop out of school and pursue a career in street dancing, and my brother’s wife made a move on me this Christmas,” he spits out in one breath. My jaw drops. Okay, dude has his issues. “Last thing I want to do is listen to a teenage drama about why your boyfriend hasn’t texted you back sooner.”

  “Not my boyfriend.” I cross my arms. “My best friend! You need to learn to listen.” I shake my head. If you ask me, that’s probably reason number one why his wife is divorcing him. I wave my empty glass at the lady behind the bar. She comes over and looks at me directly.

  “Maybe he’s got a thing for you?” she says.

  “Him?” I whisper, motioning to the guy sitting beside me, the one whose life is in pieces. Same one who needs lessons in listening etiquette.

  “Your best friend,” she corrects me. “Sorry, I couldn’t help but overhear.”

  “No, no, it’s okay! Any input is good, but you couldn’t be more wrong. My best friend is the biggest Casanova out there. I mean, he’s better at chasing tail than Jake!”

  “Jake? Is that your boyfriend?”

  “My dog. He’s amazing. Well, he’s actually my boyfriend’s dog, the hunk of a man sleeping so peacefully over there.” I point in the general direction behind me. “My stupid brother named him after Jacob Black. I mean the dog, not the boyfriend. He wanted to continue the Twilight theme, you see. All because we’ve got this bread he called Edward…but I digress. That’s definitely not the reason for his silence. There’s absolutely no way Carter likes me that way.”


  The woman looks me up and down, then takes my empty glass away, handing me a glass of water instead. Oh well.

  She leans on the counter. “Maybe he was busy then, chasing tail, as you’ve nicely put it.”

  “Hmmm, maybe. But why would he call me Jenny?”

  “That is your name, no? Jenny?”

  “Well…yes, but—”

  “Look,” she interrupts me. “Guys are simple. Don’t read into things. Most likely he was tired from all that ‘tail chasing’ and just typed your name for lack of better ideas.”

  I consider that for a moment. It’s quite plausible, I guess. I open my mouth to speak when the woman’s eyes grow large and her pupils dilate. Uh-oh. Here comes trouble.

  “Please tell me this hunk of a man is not your boyfriend,” she whispers, motioning her head to someone behind me. I turn to take a look.

  “Nope.” I say, smiling while she exhales, opening the top button of her blouse. Jason comes over and slides into a seat next to me. He looks sleepy, like he’s just woken up. His hair spikes in all different directions and there’s a rumpled, pillow-shaped indent on his right cheek. I guess the woman likes what she sees, because she leans over towards him, exposing her prominent cleavage even more.

  “Hi,” she purrs. “How can I help you?” she finishes the sentence suggestively. Eeew.

  I sigh. “Jason, this is…” I nod to her expectantly.

  “Mary.”

  “Mary. Mary, this is Jason, my brother.” God help her. Jason’s eyes focus on her boobs, and he licks his lips in approval.

  “Hi Mary.” He takes her hand, flashing her a grin and turning her hand to kiss the top of it, lingering for way too long, in my humble opinion. I decide to break it up. I seriously don’t need to be witness to the circus that’s about to happen.