by Sarah Bailey
My hand fell from my face, my eyes opened and all I could see was a bed I semi recognised and a man I definitely knew intimately. Shit. What had I done? There he was, laying on his side, fast asleep. Why did he have to look so good even at this time of day? His hair was all mussed, but that only served to make him sexier.
The memories of last night and him coming to get me from the club hit me all at once. All of the words we’d spoken to each other. Shit, I’d had absolutely no filter. How mortifying. The ground needed to bury me deep so I’d never have to face him again.
Rolling over, I found he’d left me painkillers and water on the bedside table. I sat up, groaning again because the pounding in my head increased and took the pills, draining the glass whilst I was at it. I glanced around but couldn’t see my purse or phone anywhere. Climbing out of bed, I trudged towards the bathroom and found my purse sitting by the toilet. I went about my business before carrying it back out into the bedroom, sitting next to Jensen on the bed and pulling the covers over my legs.
I dumped my purse on the bedside table after I’d dug out my phone. There were several missed calls and text messages.
LIORA: Where are you?
LIORA: Did you get home safe? Please call one of us!
ELLIE: Did you leave? You should’ve said something.
ELLIE: Answer your phone!
I rubbed my forehead and set about listening to the voicemails. They were more of the same. Apparently, they’d all gone back to Liora’s after Dante had pulled some guy off Jen and told him to fuck off. I could well imagine Dante getting pissed off with someone trying to take advantage of any of us. I decided it would be better to text Liora since she hadn’t been drinking last night and wouldn’t be hungover like Jen and Ellie.
ME: I’m fine. Sorry I disappeared last night.
LIORA: I was worried. Where did you go?
ME: My friend’s place.
LIORA: Be honest, is it that guy you kept going on about? Mr Green Eyes?
Why couldn’t I have kept my mouth shut? Alcohol was bad and I was never drinking that much again. It was Jen’s fault for insisting we do tequila slammers before we went to the club. I should’ve known it would only ever end badly.
ME: Please don’t tell anyone else.
LIORA: You want me to lie to Dante?
ME: Please, I will literally get on my hands and knees and beg you not to tell him.
LIORA: Fine, but you’re going to tell me what’s going on next weekend.
ME: I’m not ready to talk about it yet.
I hadn’t forgotten about her birthday. They’d arranged for her to have a little gathering at theirs weeks ago. Even Liora’s parents were coming down from Scotland. Not her brother though, which I could only be glad about since he was a dickhead.
I felt a hand brushing against my thigh. It rose higher, fingers stroking my skin and making me shiver.
LIORA: You can’t keep it a secret forever. Please text Jen and let her know you’re okay.
ME: Didn’t she come home with you?
The bed shifted next to me and hot breath dusted over my leg.
LIORA: Yeah, but who knows when she’ll arise from her cave. She was pissed at Dante for ruining her fun.
I snorted. Jen seemed determined about getting laid last night so I could well imagine she wasn’t happy with our brother. Beneath the covers, I felt him move between my legs and his hands curled around my underwear, dragging it down my legs.
ME: I’m sure you’ll enjoy the shouting match later.
LIORA: Please tell me they won’t.
ME: You know how protective he gets. Jen finds it annoying when she thinks he’s being overbearing.
Two hands wrapped around my hips and pulled me out of my sitting position. My back slammed against the bed. I yelped, the shock of it forcing the air out of my lungs. I didn’t have much time to think let alone speak when his tongue met my clit. All logical thought flew out of the window. My phone buzzed again in my hand, but I didn’t currently have it in me to check what Liora said.
“What are you doing?” I finally managed to say when my brain caught up with my body.
“Tasting you,” came the muffled response.
I tugged the covers back and looked down at him. His eyes were twinkling and shit he looked so hot between my legs. Like he belonged there.
“Is this your idea of a hangover cure?”
“Perhaps.”
His tongue flicked over my clit again and I hissed in response. If I hadn’t been turned on before, I certainly was now. I couldn’t keep my eyes off him as he lavished my clit with his tongue and thrust a finger inside me. My back arched off the bed. His free hand came up, pushing me back down before it slipped under his t-shirt and found its way up to my breasts. He rolled a nipple between his thumb and forefinger.
“Ah fuck, Jensen, please.”
“Mmm, you taste so sweet.”
There wasn’t much I could say to that except to let him take me higher. And he did. He really did. Perhaps it was a combination of the painkillers and his attention, but the pounding in my head lessened to a dull ache.
“Shit, fuck, oh god,” I cried out when my climax hit.
He rung me out completely. I thrashed against the bed, riding the waves of bliss which took me under and had me drowning. How on earth did this man know exactly how to make me come so hard I saw stars? He had some sort of crazy magic or skill. Either way, I couldn’t help but feel lucky he wanted me.
I lay there, panting as I watched him crawl up my body, his smile wide like a Cheshire cat. He took my phone out of my hand and tore his t-shirt off me, leaving me naked beneath him. He kissed my chest, his tongue trailing along my skin and causing goosebumps to rise everywhere.
“Every part of you is mine,” he murmured. “I’m keeping you, little one. You belong to me.”
“Don’t I get a say in this?”
“You might think what you said last night was stupid.” He kissed my breast, his fingers trailing along my sides. “But that’s how you really feel. I’ll let you in if that’s what you want.”
It took me a minute to comprehend what he was saying.
“You said we’re an us… You meant that.”
He sat up, staring down at me with a heated gaze.
“Turn over.”
I did as he said, allowing him to tug me up on my hands and knees. His fingers stroked down my back before they were replaced by his mouth. He kissed his way down my spine, making it hard for me to think straight.
“I don’t let anyone in. Ever. If you really want this, and I mean really want this, Fi, it can’t be some whim or need to explore yourself with me, you have to be ready to face the consequences. No one can know. Not whilst I’m treating you.”
He shifted behind me and a minute later, I felt his cock pressing against my entrance. His hand wrapped around my hip, but he didn’t thrust inside me.
“I’m not who you think I am. I live with shit you don’t understand. I’m not a good person. This thing with you is proof of that. I shouldn’t have touched you and yet I did. You think I make you happy now, but it won’t be that way forever. The things I’ve done are fucked up. You don’t really want someone like me. I’ll only hurt you in the end.”
My heart shattered for him. Whatever he’d done, it didn’t matter. I saw good in him even if he couldn’t. He’d taken such good care of me when he didn’t have to. So I wasn’t going to have him tell me how I was supposed to feel or that he’d hurt me because neither of us knew what the future held. I turned towards him, meeting his eyes which were dark. Desire laced with pain.
“You say that, but you forget who I grew up with. I lived with a monster who stole every last part of my innocence, murdered my mother and destroyed my family. There’s not a fucking good bone in his body. He’s evil.” I took a breath, trying to tamp down on the rage I felt inside me when I thought about my father. “You don’t get to tell me who
I’m allowed to want or what I can handle.”
A strange sort of wildness descended over his features. If he thought it would scare me, he was sorely mistaken. I’d looked into the eyes of pure evil for years. Nothing Jensen could do to me would compare to what my father had done. He could rip my soul to shreds, but it wouldn’t match the devastation I felt at having my own father rape me as part of some sick revenge against my brother.
Both of us groaned when he thrust inside me as if this was exactly what we needed. A physical connection to each other. He leant over me until his mouth was right next to my ear. His hand slid up from my hip until he’d cupped one of my breasts.
“I don’t want to let you go.”
“Then stop pushing me away.”
He bit my earlobe, thrusting deeper inside me as my fingers curled around the sheets.
“Tell me you’re sure you want this. Tell me you won’t run away. I can’t lose anyone else. I’ve already lost enough in my life,” he whispered, his voice haunted.
“I’m sure. I’m here. And I’m yours.”
I hoped my words would reassure him because I didn’t know how else to prove my seriousness. If I wasn’t, then I’d never have let him touch me again after I found out who he was. I still had all this guilt hanging over me because of the lies I’d had to tell my family, but Jensen was worth the pain somehow. Even though I knew so little about him, I couldn’t deny how he made me feel when we were together.
“You have no idea how much I need you, little one. No fucking idea at all.”
He didn’t let me respond. His hand left my breast and closed around my mouth. I felt no fear. Jensen didn’t terrify me or make me feel the need to bolt. All I saw was the broken parts inside him which I had an innate urge to soothe and fix even if I didn’t know why he was broken in the first place. Perhaps he’d tell me when he was ready.
His thrusts intensified, his solid body pounding into mine without gentleness or mercy. All I could hear was his laboured breath in my ear. His woodsy scent surrounded me with everything Jensen and I sunk deeper into this mess we’d created together. I didn’t want to pull myself out.
“Fuck,” he grunted. “Your pussy is so fucking perfect. Damn it, you feel so good. Always so fucking good.”
He was done discussing us. His other hand found my clit and he stroked me. I bucked against him, feeling my second orgasm building inside me. His hand around my mouth tightened. I could still breathe through my nose, but I had a feeling he was about to restrict that too. Some part of him liked to feel me struggle. He asserted complete dominance over me. That was hot. If it made me crazy for loving the way he took control, then so be it.
When he did finally pinch my nose, I was ready for it. I struggled for breath whilst the world became sharper and everything faded away. Black spots entered the periphery of my vision right before the dam broke. He didn’t let go straight away as my body trembled and arched against him.
“Jesus, fuck,” he growled, releasing my mouth and gripping my shoulder tight instead.
Next thing I knew, he’d let out a strangled grunt and I felt him pulse inside me whilst my body continued to shudder and clench around him. My breathing was erratic as I struggled to get enough oxygen back in my lungs. Jensen wrapped both arms around me and laid his cheek against my back.
“Shh, little one,” he murmured. “I’ve got you.”
My arms buckled and he tugged us over on our sides, still holding me close but not too tight. We lay like that for several long minutes until my breathing evened out again. He kissed my shoulder before turning my face so he could kiss me. He smiled when he pulled away, green eyes shining with what I hoped was happiness.
“Are we really doing this? Being together for real, I mean.”
He seemed to contemplate my words for a long moment before he kissed my shoulder again.
“Apparently my warnings aren’t scaring you away so yes, we are. Now, I need you to get up so I can take you out to brunch.”
“Out? Like with people around… like as in a date?”
He rolled his eyes.
“Yes, a date.”
I pulled out of his arms and sat up.
“I can’t… I only have that dress I don’t think you approve of.”
He ran a finger down my stomach.
“I’ll take you home first so you can change, okay? And I never said I didn’t approve of the dress.”
“No?”
His eyes darkened.
“No, you looked stunning and I’d have quite happily taken it off you with my teeth if you hadn’t been drunk and feeling sick.”
The thought of it had my blood pounding. He’d been so good to me last night even though I’d basically told him off for treating me like an object. He’d waited until this morning when I was sober to have his way with me. And his version of a hangover cure had been blissful.
“Maybe next time.”
I hopped out of the bed before he could say a word and dashed into the bathroom. I wasn’t alone for long because he was right behind me, pressing me into the shower.
When we reached my place almost an hour later, I remembered to check my phone. I pulled it out whilst we were in the lift.
LIORA: Guess I’ll be referee then.
Another text was dated half an hour later.
LIORA: Well that went to shit. Jen’s sulking in the spare bedroom with Ellie trying to talk her down. Dante’s stormed off somewhere. Be glad you’re not here!
ME: Sorry. Is everything okay now?
“What’s wrong?”
I looked up at Jensen. His eyes were full of concern.
“Oh, Dante and Jen had an argument.”
LIORA: Well it’s not happy families but feeding them seems to have worked.
ME: Jen’s still there, right?
LIORA: Yes, why?
ME: Just checking.
I didn’t want to open my flat door and have her find Jensen with me.
LIORA: Is there a reason why you don’t want her finding out who you’re seeing?
I groaned. The last thing I needed was the third degree from my sister in law.
“What’s wrong now?” Jensen asked, wrapping a hand around my waist.
Instead of saying anything, I showed him my phone. He scrolled through the recent messages, a frown appearing on his face.
“You know you can’t tell her.”
“It’s my own fault for getting drunk and mentioning you. I’ll handle it.”
“Just say your sister wouldn’t approve, that’s not far from the truth.”
I eyed him warily for a moment as he handed the phone back to me.
ME: Jen thinks I have bad taste in men. Doubt she’d approve.
LIORA: She can hardly talk.
ME: Right?! I’m just making sure it’s the real thing first, okay? I promise he’s nice and not a dick.
Jensen snorted beside me and I knew he was reading over my shoulder.
“I might not be a dick, but I’ve certainly given you mine more than once,” he whispered in my ear.
I felt my face growing hot as the doors opened. We walked out and along the corridor before I unlocked the door to my flat.
LIORA: I believe you. Your secret is safe with me. I told Ellie not to mention it to James.
ME: Thank you! You’re the best!
LIORA: Just be careful, okay?
ME: I promise.
“Feel free to explore,” I told him as I kicked off my heels and hung up my coat.
I didn’t expect him to follow me into my bedroom but he did. I went over to my wardrobe and started pulling out clean clothes. A plain white t-shirt, a chunky light blue knit jumper and a pair of black skinny jeans along with another set of underwear I knew he’d like.
“Would you be able to unzip me?”
Honestly, I could do it myself, but I wanted Jensen’s hands on me. His breath was hot on my neck as he came up behind me. He s
lowly unzipped my dress before he pulled it off my shoulders and let it drop to the floor. I thought he’d move away, but he wrapped his hands around my waist and tugged me against him.
“I can’t get enough of you,” he told me in that low seductive tone he used when he wanted to fuck me.
“I thought you were taking me on a date.”
“I am, but I also have a lot of thoughts about that bed of yours.”
I shook my head and stepped away from him, unhooking my bra and tugging off my underwear.
“You know that’s not helping me stop thinking about fucking you,” he continued.
I turned around and gave him a pointed look.
“Mind out of the gutter.”
It was probably a mistake to show him my front because his eyes roamed across me and turned feral. I backed away as he took a step towards me.
“Now isn’t the time. I don’t know when Jen will be back.”
He clenched a fist at his side as if trying to hold himself back from grabbing me.
“Fuck,” he muttered, turning away and planting his fingers on the bridge of his nose.
I hurriedly tugged my clothes on. When I was done, I stepped up to him and wrapped my arms around his front, pressing my face into his back.
“Let’s go be a real couple for the first time.”
I felt him chuckle, his chest rumbling against mine.
“Mmm, okay, little one.”
Chapter Thirteen
Jensen
What did I do to deserve such a rare and stunning creature? One who willingly entered the lion’s den and wasn’t afraid to ask for what she wanted. And what she happened to want was me. Fuck knows why.
There she was sat across from me smiling to herself as she ate. We’d found a small café near her flat to have what she was calling our first date in. She’d been holding my hand the entire time we’d walked here and then under the table after we’d ordered. Almost like she was proud to be with me. The mid-morning winter sunlight streamed in through the window, highlighting her dark hair and making her blue eyes brighter.