Benson Siblings Series: A Dark Romance Boxset

by Sarah Bailey

  I shook myself and walked over to her, sitting down and wrapping my arm around her shoulder, pulling her against me. All of her concerns made sense. It wasn’t fair, but I knew if I pushed her, she’d push back. Jen meant everything to Fi.

  “Little one, it’s okay,” I whispered, kissing her hair.

  “It’s not. None of it is.”

  “It will be.”

  I wasn’t sure if I believed that myself. The fallout when everyone discovered we were together had the potential to be brutal. We could survive it together as long as we stuck by each other.

  She shifted, twisting around in my arm. Next thing I knew, she was in my lap, her hands cupping my face as she stared down at me.

  “I don’t think you realise how much I need you. You’re my air,” she whispered. “I can’t breathe without you. My lungs burn and my world isn’t filled with life and colour when you’re not around. I need you more than she does. You’re in my soul, Jensen. I can’t escape you even if I wanted to. You’re drowning me and I don’t want to be free.”

  If there was ever a woman who had the power to destroy me, it was this one right in front of me. Her words sliced into my heart, causing me to bleed out. Tears slipped down those beautiful cheeks, making me realise exactly how far both of us had fallen off the edge.

  “You have me. Why do you think I want you to meet my family? I want you to know me. I’m trying to let you in even though letting anyone in is hard for me. Don’t you get it? Don’t you see how much you mean to me?” My hands came up, tangling in her hair and pulling her closer. “You’re in my soul too, little one.”

  A line had been drawn in the sand. It was about as close as either of us had gotten to a declaration of love. Neither of us needed to say it. She knew as well as I did. Both of us had fallen and there was no climbing back out. No way of turning it off. I’d known the moment I’d revealed to her what happened to Hailey.

  “I want to come, but I can’t. It’s not just your brother, you know Aiden and Avery will be there. Avery will tell James and then my whole family will know. How can we expect any of them to keep it a secret?”

  She dropped her hands from my face to my shoulders, her eyes still full of unshed tears.

  I knew the risk we’d be taking. It’s why I wanted her to stop therapy, so we could be free to be with each other. But now she’d thrown another spanner in the works with telling me about Jen’s feelings. It’s not as though clients hadn’t been attracted to me before, but I’d never acted on anything of the sort. I had clear boundaries. Except when it came to Fiona. She’d made me lose my fucking head and that was it. I had to have her.

  “I need you there, little one.”

  She searched my face.

  “Why?”

  “You’re the only person I’ve opened up to in a long time. You being there would help me get through it.”

  I felt ridiculous for asking her to do this for me. Of course, I could handle seeing Ben and my parents on my own. I’d done it for years, but I wanted them to meet the girl who’d stolen my heart from me. To see I was trying to get my shit together. Even if they never forgave me for Hailey, they could at least see I was happy. That Fi made me want to do better and be better as a person.

  “You need me.”

  “I guess I do.”

  Little did she know just how much.

  “Okay.”

  I frowned.

  “Okay, what?”

  She leant closer, her nose brushing against mine.

  “Okay, I’ll come with you.”

  “You will?”

  She nodded before kissing me. I wrapped my hands around her waist and tugged her closer.

  “Just let me talk to James.”

  “You’re going to tell him?”

  She shook her head.

  “We’re going to tell him. If I’m going to talk to anyone in my family about us then I want them to know this isn’t you taking advantage of me or anything like that. They need to see this is mutual and real.”

  If that’s what she needed then I’d be there for her. At some point, I’d have to meet the rest of her family anyway. I don’t think I’ll ever feel good enough for Fiona. The shit she didn’t know about me would likely come back to bite me in the arse, but how could I be without her? She made the world make sense. She made everything brighter. Fiona was like the sun and I was basking in her glory.

  “Do you think he’ll keep it to himself?”

  “I hope so. James isn’t really one for sharing secrets. I trust him. He won’t be happy, but I think he’ll understand. Besides, he’s the only one who can ask Avery not to say anything to the rest of my family.”

  “You’re willing to do that for me?”

  She smiled, her beautiful blue eyes shining.

  “We’re in this together, right?” I nodded. “As long as I can make sure Jen doesn’t find out, I’ll go. You understand that, don’t you?”

  I understood how much her sister meant to her. And she’d do anything not to hurt Jen. Except I was relatively sure no matter how long we waited to tell her twin, Jen would get hurt anyway.

  “What about therapy?”

  I stroked her bare side with my fingers, making her tremble. She bit her lip and eyed me for a moment.

  “You still want me to quit.”

  “Do you want me to explain to my family that you’re my client?”

  She shook her head. It would be hard enough to explain how we’d met in the first place considering Fiona had now met Ben. I didn’t expect anything about my relationship with her to be easy. Especially not this.

  “It’s not really quitting, little one. I’ll still treat you, it just won’t be officially.”

  “What do I tell Dante and Jen?”

  “You don’t tell them anything.”

  A little furrow appeared in her brow. She hadn’t let me explain before she went off on me earlier.

  “Why wouldn’t I tell them?”

  “Because they’re not going to know you’ve quit. It is better to maintain the illusion for Jen’s benefit, is it not? That’s the reason you won’t quit. For her.”

  I wasn’t going to be like Fuckwit and come between her and Jen. I respected her relationship with her sister. Besides, I liked Jen even if I was just her therapist. They wanted what was best for each other. I think Jen and Fi would go to the ends of the earth to save the other. I wanted them to maintain the bond they shared because it’s what they needed. I only wanted the best for both of them, but I also selfishly needed Fiona. I wasn’t ever going to be a selfless man who gave up someone he wanted.

  “You’re okay with that?”

  “I’m okay with whatever you choose, little one, as long as you stay right here by my side.”

  She leant forward and kissed me again, rocking her hips against mine, causing me to groan in her mouth. My cock thickened, desperate for her attention. I’d already had her across my kitchen counter earlier, almost burning dinner in the process. The insatiable urge to have her every way I could never faltered. The need for her burnt in my veins. I wrapped both hands around her hips and ground into her.

  “Christ you make me crazy,” I whispered against her lips. “I can’t get enough of you.”

  She pulled away and gave me a sly smile.

  “Well, you’ll just have to wait a little longer.”

  “Excuse me?”

  She jumped up out of my lap and looked down at my tented boxers. Entirely her fault.

  “I need to speak to my brother and you need to discharge me from your services… officially at least.”

  She gave me a wink before darting away to grab her phone off the bedside table. I put my fingers on the bridge of my nose, taking a deep breath. This damn girl would be the death of me. Complaining wasn’t an option. She’d agreed to quit and come with me to my parent’s wedding anniversary party. I could give her time to get things in order before I pinned her down on the bed. I
owed her that much for doing this for me.

  Now I had to work out how the hell I was going to deal with the conversation with Ben regarding how we’d met. He wouldn’t do me any favours. They couldn’t find out she’d been my client. That would make everything worse. They’d think I was being irresponsible all over again. To be honest, they weren’t far off. Falling into a relationship with someone you were treating wasn’t particularly a responsible course of action.

  I looked over at Fiona. She was talking in low tones on the phone, her hand waving agitatedly. How could I not fall for her? My young dark haired beauty. My sun. The only person who saw me as worthwhile.

  Not falling for her would be impossible.

  I love you, Fiona Benson. You’re more than I deserve. More than I ever hoped for.

  And I was going to fight with every breath I took to keep her in my life.

  Chapter Twenty

  Fiona

  Was I nervous as hell about having James meet Jensen?

  Yes. A million times yes.

  I tapped my fingers on my leg as we drove across the city from my flat. The risk we were taking could backfire spectacularly, but somehow, I knew my brother would come through for me.

  “Are you going to tell me why me rather than Jen or even Dante?” he asked, eying me for a moment before turning his attention back to the road.

  “Yes, I told you I’d explain everything.”

  “Well, it just seems a little odd you wanting me to know and not your twin.”

  If I had my way, James wouldn’t have been my first choice if I was honest. I’d have liked to have introduced Jensen to everyone in my family at the same time. He wanted me to meet his family and this was the only way. To say it didn’t warm my heart Jensen wanted to take that step with me would be a lie. Even though I was scared as hell about this blowing up in our faces, being needed by a man like Jensen made me feel special.

  “A little odd?”

  “Okay, it’s fucking weird.”

  I smiled, poking him in the shoulder.

  “It’s complicated. I’m trusting you not to tell her, you know.”

  He rolled his eyes.

  “Yeah, I totally love keeping secrets from my family.”

  I knew it was asking a lot considering we all promised we’d be there for each other after Dad went to prison and do things as a family.

  “You can’t talk. You kept your own girlfriend a secret from your best friends.”

  “That was…”

  “Complicated, right?”

  He sighed and ran his hand through his hair before changing gear. He and Avery had fallen out over his relationship with Ellie. There was more to it than that, but the catalyst was his reluctance to be honest. Something I understood all too well now I was in my own messy relationship.

  “She’s going to be mad at you for telling me first.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest.

  “She’s going to be mad at me regardless, trust me.”

  “You sure you don’t want to give me any indication now why you’re being so secretive about him before we get to his?”

  I bit my lip. I wanted Jensen there when I told James the truth. He’d help me get through it like he had done everything else. How would my brother take it? Knowing Jensen had overstepped his professional boundaries. Knowing he was still treating Jen. I almost asked James to turn around and forget all about it, but I was going to be strong. Own who I was like Jensen told me I should. Own this relationship with him.

  “I want you to know I never meant for this to happen. Not like this.”

  “You’re kind of scaring me with this, you know that, right? Are you dating a serial killer?”

  It was my turn to roll my eyes.

  “No, James, I’m not dating a serial killer. What kind of question is that?”

  “Just checking.”

  “How about you check the road instead of making idiotic comments? Hmm?”

  He grinned at me.

  “Come on, Fi, that was funny.”

  “Oh yeah and what if I had said yes? You’d still want to meet my murderous boyfriend, would you?”

  He shrugged.

  “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  He imitated zipping his mouth closed. God, my brother was so irritating sometimes.

  “Fine, be mysterious.”

  “Oh, I will. Just like you’re being about your trigger happy boyfriend.”

  I dropped my arms from my chest and prodded his arm again.

  “Shut up, Jensen isn’t a murderer.”

  “So he does have a name.”

  I bit my lip, realising I’d slipped up. It didn’t matter. James would find out soon enough.

  “Yeah… he has a name.”

  I looked over at him, finding my brother smiling, his eyes softening.

  “Don’t worry so much, Fi. I’m sure I’ll like him.”

  “That’s not what I’m worried about,” I mumbled.

  “If he’s not a serial killer then what’s so awful that you can’t tell me now?”

  I sighed, rubbing my hand on my jeans as I looked out the window. We were almost there now, I recognised the buildings. This was it. I couldn’t take it back once James knew.

  “It’s the situation and the circumstances under which we met, not Jensen himself. He’s… I… I love him, James,” I said, whispering the last part.

  “You do?”

  “Yes, but I haven’t told him yet. I’m terrified this will all crumble into dust when everyone finds out about us. So if I tell him now, there’s no taking it back. I don’t want my heart broken.”

  James pulled up into the carpark of Jensen’s building and parked up in one of the visitor’s spaces. He turned to me with concern etched into his features.

  “You think he’ll break your heart?”

  “No… I think Jen will.”

  He reached over and took my hand.

  “Jen will understand.”

  I shook my head.

  “I love your optimism, but you don’t understand. Not yet.”

  I pulled my hand away and got out of the car, taking a deep breath. James was silent as we walked into the building and got to the lifts. I punched in the code for the penthouse.

  “Is he loaded or something?” he asked.

  “I wouldn’t exactly say loaded, just successful.”

  “Good, don’t want a repeat of Ellie and her dad.”

  I nudged him with my shoulder.

  “That wasn’t Ellie’s fault.”

  “No, I’m just glad that fucker is behind bars like Dad. He doesn’t deserve to see the light of day again.”

  I felt horrible for Ellie having to deal with everything she had. She’d had a traumatising life, but she also didn’t let that get her down. She was good for James just as he was for her. They both deserved the happiness they’d found in each other. I hoped James would understand how Jensen made me happy despite the circumstances we were in.

  The lift doors dinged. I took a deep breath before stepping out with James on my heels. He looked around, eyes wide.

  “Well, shit, this is nice.”

  “Wait till you see the view,” I replied, grinning. I really did love Jensen’s place. It might be a little minimal furniture wise, but I loved the wide open spaces. It was like his very own slice of freedom from the millions of people who lived in the city. High up here, you could almost feel like you weren’t slap bang in the middle of London.

  I shrugged off my coat and took James’, hanging them up in the hall cupboard before taking him into the living room. Jensen wasn’t there. He’d told me to bring James straight up, so I wondered where he’d got to.

  “Jensen?” I called out.

  A moment later, he poked his head around the kitchen door. He eyed both of us for a moment before the rest of him appeared in the doorway. He gave me a smile
as I beckoned him over with a nudge of my head. To say he looked good enough to eat was an understatement. He was simply dressed in dark grey chinos and a black shirt with the sleeves rolled up.

  “Hello, you must be James,” he said, sticking his hand out to my brother.

  James shook his hand, eying him with a slight frown. I could tell he was racking his brains as to why Jensen looked familiar. It’s what I’d done when I’d met Ben for the first time. The similarities between them were striking.

  “And you must be the elusive boyfriend.”

  Jensen shot me a look and I shrugged. He knew I was nervous about explaining to my brother who he was.

  “Don’t mind him,” I said, giving James a slight shove. “His sarcasm knows no bounds.”

  My brother grinned and winked at me, which had me rolling my eyes.

  “Would you like something to drink?” Jensen asked.

  I couldn’t blame him for not wanting to rise to James’ comment.

  “Sure… though I’m driving,” James said with a shrug.

  Jensen rattled off what soft drinks he had before disappearing back into the kitchen when James made his choice. I made James sit down with me on the sofa. His eyes were wide as he looked around before levelling his gaze on me.

  “Why does he look so familiar and just how old is he?”

  I rubbed my leg, feeling distinctly uncomfortable but knowing I’d have to answer those questions eventually.

  “He’s thirty eight.”

  “Really? Well, shit. Didn’t think you were into older men.”

  “I don’t care about his age, idiot. God, why does everything have to be a joke with you?”

  He gave me one of his lopsided smiles and I shook my head.

  “I’m sorry. I know this is important to you.”

  I looked away, knowing I hadn’t answered the second question. How did I tell James that Jensen was Ben’s brother? I opened my mouth and closed it again before jumping up.

  “Give me a sec, okay?”

  He nodded and I hurried into the kitchen, finding Jensen stirring a pot of something which smelt amazing. He decided if he was having my brother around, he’d make dinner for the three of us. I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist, breathing in his woodsy scent which I adored so much.