Benson Siblings Series: A Dark Romance Boxset

by Sarah Bailey

Saying it out loud made the truth almost unbearable.

  How could I not have known?

  How had it been this many years I’d gone without looking inside my own heart and realising what had been there all along?

  Had I not wanted to know or was it just I’d been broken for so long, I didn’t think I had it in me to love another person?

  There was no point dwelling on my fucked up reasoning for not wanting to see what had been staring me in the face all this time. Who had been waiting for me to wake up and smell the fucking roses. There was nothing for it. I had to tell him. I had to know if he felt the same way. Spending the rest of my life without him wasn’t an option. I didn’t care about what my brother thought. Dante could take a fucking hike. He’d already interfered enough in my sister’s love life, he didn’t get to dictate mine.

  I jumped out of bed, a renewed sense of purpose flooding through me. That was until I looked at myself in the mirror and saw the fading marks on my neck. My heart sank.

  Max.

  How the hell could I tell Brent how I felt when I had Max to contend with? Or should I say we had Max to contend with since Brent had agreed to help me with the situation.

  Fuck this shit.

  I needed Max and his blackmail crap out of my life before I went after my heart’s desire. Things between Brent and I could wait. Max couldn’t. He was a threat to all of us which needed handling.

  “Fuck, fucking fuck, fuck, fuck.”

  I dragged a hand through my hair, irritation driving through me. Instead of allowing it to consume me, I pulled on a robe and trudged out to the bathroom to take a shower. Hoping it would wash away my fucked up state of mind so I could perhaps think more clearly.

  By the time I’d showered and dressed in a top which covered my neck, I heard voices floating up from downstairs as I descended them. I found Brent in the conservatory with James, Ellie, Fi and Jensen. When the hell had they all got here?

  “Morning, or should I say afternoon sleepyhead,” James said with a smirk.

  “Fuck off,” I grumbled. “Why are you so perky?”

  “We have a new family member.”

  I hadn’t forgotten Logan was here, but it hadn’t been my first thought when I woke up. My eyes drifted to Brent who seemed to be deliberately ignoring my gaze. Fi got up and gave me a hug before pulling away and giving me a look which said ‘I know something’s up with you’. I sighed, tugging her into the kitchen and shutting the doors behind us.

  “Okay, I’m done tiptoeing around this with you,” she said as I went over to the kettle, filled it and flipped it on. “What the hell is going on between you and Brent?”

  “Everything, nothing and all the stuff in between.”

  I glanced at her, finding a raised eyebrow and a sceptical look in her eyes.

  “Jen…”

  “I’ll tell you, just help me make something to eat.”

  Fi and I weren’t particularly adept in the kitchen, but we didn’t burn toast so it would have to do. She dropped two slices in the toaster and I grabbed the butter and jam.

  “I know better than to ask this, but Jensen didn’t say anything to you, did he?”

  “You told him?”

  “He’s my therapist.”

  She put her hand up.

  “You know what, I’m not even going to go there. No, he didn’t tell me anything.”

  I nudged her with my shoulder as I dumped a tea bag in a mug. She understood. Our relationship changed after we started therapy, but I’d come to accept it had been necessary. We deserved our own lives and to learn to grow. And she’d blossomed so much since she’d met and fell in love with Jensen.

  “You know when I said Brent was probably shit in bed?”

  “Mmmhmm.”

  “I was wrong.”

  She stared at me for a long moment before breaking into a huge grin.

  “You and Brent are a thing?”

  I looked away, fiddling with the mug on the counter.

  “No, we’re not a thing. He won’t entertain the idea of more. He thinks Dante would kill him.”

  “Uh well, that’s not exactly an unfounded fear, you know.”

  I sighed and began to explain how we’d ended up like this. She listened intently, buttering my toast whilst I made tea. I missed out the parts about Max as I couldn’t tell her about that, but everything else was fair game. I sipped at my tea when I was done. Her eyes were wide and bright. I snagged a slice of toast, deciding it was better to dig in before Fi started off on one.

  “This is so exciting,” she said, clapping her hands together.

  “What?” I muttered with a mouthful of toast.

  “You’ve been completely oblivious to his feelings for you, Jen.”

  I looked at her, wondering what the hell she meant.

  “I’ve had a suspicion for a while now. I think James was right that day, Brent has totally liked you forever. He doesn’t look at me the way he does you.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Uhuh, he gets this look in his eyes like he adores you but feels guilty about it.”

  I frowned. I’d never seen him look at me like that. Yeah, I’d seen desire in his eyes several times since the night we’d slept together, but adoration? Not so much.

  “It doesn’t matter, he’s never going to change his mind.”

  “I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

  I rolled my eyes and took another bite of toast. Maybe he would change his mind if he knew I was in love with him. Except I’d already decided I wasn’t going to tell him until we sorted out this issue with Max.

  I heard the front door open and voices floating down the hallway. The distinct sound of Liora’s parents and Dante. I guess they’d been discharged from the hospital. Fi stuck her head around the door before pulling back and grinning.

  “Our nephew is home.”

  “Dibs on holding him.”

  She rolled her eyes. She’d got to be with Liora when Logan came into the world so she better let me hold him first.

  “What? I need baby cuddles. Not like I’m going to have one of my own any time soon.”

  “And I am?”

  “Don’t tell me you and Jensen haven’t discussed it.”

  She gave me a knowing smile.

  “Perhaps we have.”

  I pointed at her.

  “I fucking knew it. You’ll be knocked up and married in no time at all.”

  “Who’s getting married?” Dante asked as he came in the room.

  “No one,” Fi said.

  “Fi and Jensen,” I replied.

  He raised an eyebrow.

  “We are not! He’s not asked me.”

  “Yet. He’s not asked you yet.”

  She stuck her tongue out at me and moved away, opening the conservatory doors.

  “Leave her alone, Jen,” Dante said, giving me the once over. “There’s no need for them to go rushing into any major commitments like that. Besides, you should be hassling your brother, him and Ellie have been together longer.”

  I grinned. Dante really shouldn’t have said that. Although he did have a mischievous glint in his eyes, so perhaps he knew exactly what he was doing.

  “Ugh, I’ll annoy him about it later. Now where’s my nephew?”

  “Here,” Liora said, coming into the room with Logan in his car seat.

  She barely had a chance to set him down on the counter before I started unbuckling him from the straps. I picked him up and cradled him to my chest.

  “Hello little man,” I whispered, stroking his cheek.

  “See, I told you having your sister here would mean a live-in babysitter.”

  I ignored Liora’s comment and took Logan into the conservatory, staring down at his little squishy face. The most precious baby ever. I noticed Brent pull out a chair for me and I carefully sat down, making sure not to jog Logan too much.

  “He has that newborn smell,” I si
ghed.

  Logan closed his eyes and promptly fell asleep. I hoped for Liora and Dante’s sake he wouldn’t become one of those babies who fussed all the time.

  “You look good with him,” Brent said, his voice low enough only I could hear it.

  “You think?”

  I looked over at him and realised Fi had been right. He had this shine to his gold flecked hazel eyes, like I was the one person in the world he wanted but couldn’t have. Had he really always looked at me in that way? Glancing at Fi, I found her watching us with a smile on her face.

  Ugh, fuck, it’s so obvious, isn’t it?

  “Logan’s lucky to have you in his life.”

  I felt my cheeks grow hot.

  “Just Logan?”

  “Anyone who has you in their life is lucky, Jen.”

  That isn’t what I wanted to hear.

  “Even you?” I whispered.

  His eyes flashed with pain for the briefest of moments before he looked away.

  “Even me.”

  Not wanting to press the matter any further, I looked down at my nephew. My body ached with longing. I wanted a partner, a husband and a baby of my own. I’d never put much thought to it before. Now, I knew for sure I wanted those things, but not just with anyone. I wanted them with the person next to me.

  How could I convince Brent to take a chance on me? Would he risk it all if I laid my cards out on the table? The thought of him rejecting me yet again terrified me. I don’t think my heart could take it. I hadn’t asked him for an actual relationship last time though.

  Deal with Max first, remember? Then you can broach the subject of a future between the two of you.

  I shook myself internally. I still didn’t know how Brent intended to help me with Max. When we were alone, I’d have to ask him. Though I suppose he hadn’t had much time to think about it with Logan’s arrival.

  My phone buzzed in my pocket. I adjusted Logan slightly so I could pull it out.

  MAX: I’m taking you to dinner tomorrow night, sweet pea. If you misbehave again, I won’t let you off so lightly.

  My throat constricted. Whilst Brent told me he wouldn’t let Max hurt me again, I wasn’t sure how he’d achieve that if I ended up losing my shit for the second time.

  “Everything okay?” Brent asked, leaning over to me.

  I didn’t get a chance to hide the text on my phone. His expression darkened. I wanted to run but I had a sleeping baby on me.

  “Give Logan to someone else and come with me,” he hissed before rising from his seat.

  The tone of his voice left no room for argument. So I did as he said, I got up and carefully handed Logan over to Ellie who was closest and walked out of the room on Brent’s heels. No one really noticed us leaving since they were all engaged in conversation.

  Brent took me downstairs to his flat. When we reached his living room, he made me sit down on the sofa whilst he paced back and forth in front of me.

  “I don’t trust him not to hurt you again.”

  “I can’t not go.”

  “I know. I need time to find his weaknesses and work out how the fuck he found out about the debt in the first place.”

  He ran his hand through his hair agitatedly.

  “What do you mean find his weaknesses?”

  “I dig up dirt on people and make sure nothing comes to light which shouldn’t. It used to be for Zach as well, but now it’s just D.”

  I blinked. On some level I’d known Brent worked for my father as well as Dante, but it sounded like he’d been closer to my dad then I realised.

  “What do you mean for my dad?”

  “I was under Zach’s payroll until he handed over the company to you four. I had no choice, Jen. But before you ask, no, I didn’t do anything illegal for him. I kept his secrets to protect the company and D. That’s all.”

  It hadn’t even crossed my mind that Brent would engage in anything illegal. I mean I knew my dad had, but he was a piece of shit so it came with the territory.

  “It doesn’t matter. It’s in the past. So what? You’re just going to dig into Max’s background? How will that stop him? He has all the power, not us.”

  He shook his head.

  “You’re just going to have to trust me on this.”

  He’d asked me that last night. To trust him.

  “So you’re not going to tell me what you have planned?”

  “No.”

  I stood up and got in his face.

  “You can’t tell me you’re going to fix it and then shut me out like it doesn’t involve me.”

  “Jen—”

  “No, don’t you Jen me! I’ve told you so many times, I’m not some damsel in distress nor do I need rescuing.”

  He exhaled sharply, staring down at me with an intensity which almost made me flinch back.

  “I’m not trying to rescue you. I’m trying to protect you and your siblings from having their names dragged through the mud.”

  “I don’t need protecting.”

  “I beg to differ.”

  I shoved at his chest. He stood there and took it, not budging an inch.

  “Does it make you feel all fucking manly or something? Oh look, Jen’s in danger, let me save the day.”

  I had no idea why I was getting angry at him, only that his refusal to tell me what he had planned riled me up.

  “Contrary to what you might think my world does not revolve around you and whether or not you’re in danger, Jen.”

  My chest burnt at his words and tears started to prick at the corners of my eyes. They were like a fucking dropkick to the heart. I never expected his world to revolve around me, but I wanted to be his world. His everything. The girl he’d do anything for.

  I took a step back, finding my anger evaporating and distress rushing through my veins instead.

  “I deserve to know,” I choked out, fighting back those tears threatening to fall.

  Did he have to keep breaking my heart further?

  He doesn’t know how you feel.

  “I told you, I need time. You only just told me last night so give me a fucking break.”

  I backed away further, wanting to be away from him before I blurted out something I shouldn’t.

  “Fine.”

  His expression turned soft.

  “I don’t want you to worry.”

  I shook my head.

  “You don’t have to face him tomorrow.”

  He closed the distance and tugged me against his chest. I struggled weakly as tears started to fall without my say so.

  “I know you’re scared, but you need to be strong for me, okay? I promise I’ll fix it.”

  He didn’t get it. Yes, I was scared of Max, but I wasn’t acting out for that reason. Brent happened to be the reason. He kept stabbing at my chest with his words. My heart couldn’t take it any longer. I wanted him so much and it just plain hurt.

  A pitiful sob fell from my lips unbidden.

  “Shh, don’t cry. It’s going to be okay.”

  I shook my head, clutching at his t-shirt. Why did he always make me feel so vulnerable? How did he have this much power over my emotions? Why had I let him in?

  He tucked his fingers under my chin and raised my face up towards his. His hazel eyes were full of emotions I couldn’t work out.

  “You don’t need protecting, but I’m going to do it anyway. I care about you too much to let him get to you like this.”

  “That’s… that’s not why I’m crying.”

  “Then what’s wrong?”

  I choked back another sob.

  “You. I’m crying because of you.”

  His expression became stricken. I hadn’t meant for those words to come out.

  “Me?”

  I tried to pull away, not wanting to have this conversation I’d unwittingly started.

  “What did I do?”

  “Let go,” I sobbed.

  �
�No, tell me what I did.”

  I shoved at him, desperate now to be as far away as possible before the truth tried to escape my mouth. All the words were on the tip of my tongue. Words like I want to be with you and I love you.

  “Jen, please, you can’t say that then run.”

  “Let go.”

  “No.”

  “I hate you.”

  His eyes darkened. I knew he couldn’t stand me saying it. I’d always known.

  “Not this again. You do not hate me. For fuck’s sake, what did I do?”

  I wrenched out of his grasp finally, backing away with my chest heaving and tears streaming down my cheeks.

  “What did you do? What did you fucking do?” I pointed at him. “You made me want you and then dropped me like I mean nothing, all because I’m Dante’s sister. Am I not worth more than that? Don’t I mean anything to you? You say you care about me but how can I believe that? How can I trust you when you keep hurting me? Tell me how!”

  He surged forward and gripped me by the shoulders.

  “You mean more to me than you know.”

  “Then prove it to me because right now, I don’t know how the hell you feel about me.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Brent

  Why did it keep coming back to this? I couldn’t stand the way her blue eyes watered and the tears streaming down her face. Nor the agony in her expression. I’d done that. And it hurt worse than I ever thought it could. My heart burnt with it.

  So I did the only thing I could think of to take it away. My hand tangled in her beautiful dark hair as I brought my lips down to hers. Jen’s hands went to my shoulders, a small mewl of protest erupting from her throat.

  She told me to prove how I felt. Words weren’t cutting it. I needed to show her. As I tugged her closer, my tongue swept into her mouth, claiming her in a brutal and unforgiving kiss.

  Jen is mine.

  The words banded themselves around my chest. The need to make her aware of the fact laced my veins. No one else could have her. Especially not that scumbag Max fucking Graves.

  My hand tightened in her hair. I pulled her head back and stared down at her. Jen’s blue eyes were wide with lust mixed in with confusion.

  “Show me you want me,” I practically growled. “Show me I’m yours.”

  She searched my face for a long moment before she lowered herself to her knees with my hand still in her hair. Her hands went to my jeans, quickly dispensing with the buttons and zip. I jerked slightly when her fingers ran over my cock before she freed it from my boxers.