by Dana Mason
“I’ve grown up a lot since then, Johnny. You can’t judge me for something I did almost ten years ago.”
“You’re right, I shouldn’t, but the reality of it is, I am a cop. Period. There’s no changing that. It’s a part of who I am.”
“I know—I understand. I accept you no matter what you are. I would never do something like that again.”
“Don’t ever play games with me, Ali, never and no kind.”
He got up to check the chicken and Ali’s heart felt like it might jump out of her chest.
He sat back down and said, “I don’t give in to ultimatums or threats. I don’t communicate like that. If you have a problem, be honest with me about it and we can talk it out and I’ll do the same for you—no bullshit.”
“I already know I can talk to you about anything,” she said.
“As long as it’s truthful. I don’t like lies.”
“I know, I don’t either,” she said.
“Any other skeletons you want to share.”
“No, I think you know everything else already. How about you?”
“I’ve never manipulated anyone in my life. I was a bad kid. I liked to get into trouble. Spent a couple of nights in juvenile hall when I was in high school. One day I woke up and decided I didn’t want to be a bad guy. I finished high school, joined the Marines, did a full tour . . . got out, went to school for criminal justice and the police academy. End of story. The rest you know. I told you about Lisa—that’s it. I met you and came here.”
“You never answered my question from before.”
He narrowed his eyes at her. “Which question?”
“Did you see any other women after Maui?”
“Not one.” He rubbed a hand on the back of his neck. “Haven’t even looked at another woman since the very first time I laid eyes on you—didn’t want to. I just wanted more of you. I couldn’t get you out of my head.”
“Sorry,” she said, looking away.
“Don’t be.” He stood up and went to sit next to her. “You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He took her hand and smiled at Micah. “You too, Micah.”
“Do you still feel like that, even after what I told you?”
“Nothing has changed. Just don’t leave me when you get scared I’ve been shot.”
“Don’t get shot.”
“I won’t, but there will still be those nights that you’ll worry. You have to trust me to come home.”
“I promise to trust you to come home.”
He nodded then got up to check on the chicken.
Chapter Thirty-One
Johnny stared at her, not sure he believed her. “Are you trying to make me believe you’ve never made S’mores?”
“Maybe? I think when I was a kid. I wish Jamie was here, he’d love this.”
“So, next time we’ll do it with him,” he said. “Hand me a stick and I’ll show you how it’s done.”
She handed him a metal skewer and watched him thread the marshmallow onto the end. “My dad took us camping a couple of times when we were kids but I barely remember.”
“Nothin’ to it—toast the marshmallow, stack one gram cracker, a square of chocolate, and add the cooked marshmallow to the top. Then another gram cracker and squish it together. I like my marshmallow a little burnt.”
Ali nodded and stuck a marshmallow in the end of her metal skewer. “Do I have to burn it?”
“Nope. Test out a few and see how you like ’em first. When you get the marshmallow the way you like it, make your S’more.”
Johnny helped Ali build her S’more then she made one for him while he bounced around holding Micah. “Micah, when you get teeth, I’ll show you how to do this too. Maybe we’ll start an annual camping trip and get your Mama back in the habit. We don’t have the Smokies around here, but I’m sure we can find a cool place.”
“We have the Sierras,” Ali said, licking the marshmallow off her fingers.
“That’ll work too,” he said, and thought about how much they looked like a family now, barbequing and talking about future plans. It’d been so long since he’d been a part of a real family. He missed it and hoped Ali would get comfortable with the idea of them being a family too. Soon enough she’d realize how great they all were together. He smiled and looked down at Micah. “You ‘bout finished, sweetheart? He’s yawning big time—oh and gnawing on his little fingers.”
“Yep.” She dropped the chocolate and everything else back in the bag and stood up.
“Here take him while I put the fire out.”
“Won’t it burn itself out?”
“No. I don’t want to take any chances with fire.”
“Right. Sorry,” she said.
He grinned at her. “Nothing to be sorry about. Go ahead and take him in, I’ll be there in a second.”
Ali snuggled up on the couch with Micah and his bottle, and Johnny went to work setting up the portable crib in the living room. “You should do it in the bedroom then we won’t have to move it,” she said.
“I’m not going to move it.” Johnny lifted his head to look at her.
“I thought he was sleeping in the room with us?” Ali said, tension creeping into her shoulders.
“Look here, sweetheart,” he said. “I’ll put this up right here, it’s right outside the bedroom door. We can keep the door open and you’ll hear every little noise he makes.”
“Why don’t you want him in the room with us?”
“Because you need another baby step. He’ll be so close you won’t even need a baby monitor.”
“But . . . I won’t be able to see him.”
“Darlin,’ I promise to keep you so busy you won’t mind it.” He lifted up and stared at her for a moment. “Look here.” He laid a hand on the wall and said, “The bedroom is two feet away. It’s only one wall and an open door between us and Micah.”
Her eyes drifted down to Micah, he was right but that didn’t make her feel any better about it.
“We are taking baby steps until you—we.” He pointed between the three of them. “—until we are back to normal. Believe me, this isn’t easy on me either, but I can’t have you walking around afraid of your own shadow all the time.”
Ali didn’t argue. She’d move Micah into the bed with them or move out to the sofa after Johnny was sleeping if she needed to.
When Johnny had the crib set up and Micah had fallen asleep, they both kissed him good night and laid him down under his blue blanket.
“See, he’ll never know the difference,” Johnny whispered.
“I know, it’s fine. I’m fine.” She hugged herself, staring down on Micah. She didn’t know what was more important, convincing herself, or him.
He rested his hands on her shoulders. “Maybe I should postpone my start date at work,” he said. “They’ll understand if I ask for another week after what happened.”
Ali turned to face him. “No, I’m fine. I can take care of things by myself.” With a wave of self-loathing, she remembered her vow to be more independent. She sidestepped him and went back to sit on the couch.
He followed her over and said, “What’s that look?” He tilted his head as he stared down at her. “Micah will be fine out here tonight, I promise.”
She brushed her hair back and said, “I’m not worried.”
“Then what is it? You’re upset about something.”
“I’m fine and I can take care of myself,” she said. “Thank you for wanting to help, but I’m capable of handling things on my own.”
“Is that what this is about, your pride?” he asked. “Have I injured your delicate sensibilities by wanting to help you?”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Don’t patronize me, Johnny.”
His voice dropped low and he ran a finger down her cheek. “I have no doubt you can handle yourself. I’ve already seen how strong you are.”
“Yeah? Is that why you tricked me into going to the store today?”
“I don’t want y
ou to go through the anxiety alone. I gave you a little push because I knew you could do it. Ditto with keeping Micah out here tonight.”
She couldn’t help feel a little defensive. She was a joke compared to him, compared to everyone. “I just . . . I feel like.” She dropped her hands on her legs and rubbed her jeans up and down, looking for the right words. “I’ve always had someone to take care of me and I need to be more independent.”
“You’ve been alone since Christmas, taking care of your kids on your own. What is that, if not independent?”
Ali shrugged her shoulders. “I feel like I’m an inadequate person—woman, because I rely so heavily on men to take care of me. First Mark—still Mark in a lot of ways, then Carl, and now you.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
His eyes widened slightly. “What?”
As if she didn’t feel self-conscious enough, he looked at her like she had three heads. “It’s true. What am I if I can’t take care of myself and my children without a man around?”
“I also rely on you.” He laid a hand on his chest. “Does that make me an inadequate man?”
“You don’t rely on me,” she said, knitting her eyebrows together.
“I do. I absolutely do.” He reached out for her hand and pulled her closer. “When you’re not with me I’m a complete wreck, and don’t know what to do with myself. It’s pathetic really.” He lifted her chin then ran his finger along her forehead to brush her bangs out of the way.
She leaned back on the couch as he kissed his way from her jaw line, down to the soft skin between her breasts. “I have never needed anyone like I need you.” He expertly slid the buttons open on her blouse and said, “And I have never wanted a woman like I want you . . . all the time.”
He unclipped the front of her bra and cupped her breast with his hands. She moaned when he took her nipple into his mouth.
“You know,” she said running her hands through his hair.
“Hum,” he said, looking up into her eyes.
“I thought I was quite the rebel after having a one night stand with you, now we’ve blown that image straight to hell.”
“I guess we’ll have to do something else adventurous to keep your reputation intact.” He smiled and continued brushing his lips across her collarbone. “Maybe we should really shake our fist at the world and not use a condom.”
She laughed. “We don’t use condoms.”
“Aha . . . see,” he said. “We’re living on the edge.”
“Honey, that’s not edgy. We’re both clean and I’m on the pill.”
His eyes popped up and met hers. “You’re on the pill?”
“Yeah, is that a problem for you?”
“No, I figured you were—just confirming.”
“You’re about two and a half months too late to confirm something like that.”
“Why?” He kissed his way down to her navel. “Are you pregnant?”
“No, but if you were worried you should have asked in Maui.”
“First, I used a condom in Maui.” He lifted and removed his own shirt. “Second, I’m not worried. I would love nothing more than for you to be pregnant.”
She gasped and pushed at him. “Don’t say that.”
“It’s true.” He looked up at her face. “Why? You’re not done are you? You can still get pregnant, can’t you?”
“Yeah, but not now, things are hard enough right now.”
“We have Micah, I can wait.” He leaned back down to kiss her navel before unhooking her slacks. When her pants were open, he rested his cheek on her stomach. “Are you sure you’re not pregnant?”
Ali laughed. “I’m pretty sure.” Her stomach did flips at the thought of having his baby. She rested her hand on his head and said, “You really want to have a baby with me one day?”
He looked up and into her eyes. “I would love to see my baby growing in your tight little tummy.”
“Can you wait a couple of years?”
Johnny smiled and said, “Yeah . . . but I want a girl next time.”
Ali’s entire body relaxed. If only Micah was his child. She fought back the emotions pushing through and said, “I would love a little girl too, unfortunately I don’t have much control over it.”
“I guess we’ll have to keep trying until we get it right.”
“Ha-ha—now I’m terrified.”
“Don’t be—think about how much fun we’ll have while we’re trying.” He slid his hands up and cupped her breasts, letting his tongue roam her stomach.
She moaned and said, “That feels really good.”
“You taste really good . . . it must be the water out here in California. You’re so damn sweet. I swear I’ll never get enough of you.” He tugged on her pants while his teeth grazed her hip.
“I thought we were going to break-in the bed.”
“We are.” He stood and scooped her up like a baby, carrying her into the bedroom and sitting her on the bed before stripping off his pants. He pulled her to the edge of the bed as she wrapped her legs around his waist. “I figure . . .” he said, breathless as he kissed her. “It’s going to take all night to really get the bed ready . . . tomorrow it should be perfect.”
“Tomorrow . . .” she whispered, wishing he’d shut up and make love to her already.
“Yeah, I’m gonna need you here at least one more night.” One hand threaded through her hair while the other found the sweet spot between her legs. “Maybe even two.” He parted her with his fingers and asked, “Is that okay with you?”
“Umhum,” she moaned biting her bottom lip and dropping her head back arching her body closer to his.
“I thought it would be.”
Ali loved his touch. It was masterful and so controlled. She could think of nothing else but his mouth, hands, fingers, even his breath on her skin seemed seductive. She moved with him, drawing closer and wanting more—everything.
He laid her back and kissed his way down to between her legs. She stretched and gasped when his mouth found the right spot.
“God damn you’re sweet.” He kissed her inner thigh, nipping the skin. An electric charge rushed up her spine with every touch and every kiss.
God . . . how did he always know where to touch her? His hands felt like her personal pleasure toy and he knew exactly how to use them. She felt secure and content with him, and with every new sensation he gave her, she was more completely his.
“Johnny,” she gasped and jerked up nearly losing her control.
“I know, sunshine . . . but we got all night.” He took her mouth, sucking her lip and pressing against her. Ali gripped his hips and tried to pull him closer until she felt him properly, but he wouldn’t give. He pushed her back down and hovered over her, slowly kissing her and licking her skin one region at a time until Ali was sure she’d go mad.
“J . . . Johnny . . . oh, no, you . . . can’t . . .”
“What was that?” He smiled against her stomach. “You want me to stop?”
“Nooo . . . God,
no, don’t stop . . . please.”
He kissed his way back up her stomach to her chest until he got to her chin; he nipped her chin then parted her lips with his tongue. He stopped and looked into her eyes. “Alison . . .” he crooned. “My sweet Alison . . . I love you.”
Ali listened to the rhythmic sound of his sexy voice and thought she was living in a dream. It was too good, too perfect to be real. This man and his love had clutched her heart with one hand and her soul with the other and she knew he would never let go.
When he slipped inside her, she came alive with such lurid sensations a soft cry slipped from between her lips. “Oh my God, baby.”
She didn’t think she could take anymore. It was just this side of delirious torture, and then he thrust inside her again, harder. She moved with him, grasping his hips to help him keep pace, hoping beyond hope he didn’t stop.
“Open your eyes, sweetheart.”
Her eyes popped open and she lost what litt
le control she still held.
“There’s my sunshine.”
His whispered words pushed her over the edge. She shuddered and gripped him as she cried out. Seconds later he tightened, grunted, and then quivered with one last thrust before stopping and gently lowering himself down next to her.
His heart pounded next to hers. She closed her eyes, more content and happy than she’d been in many years. Her life had changed so dramatically over the past few months. Maybe Johnny was right, maybe she needed to stop worrying about things and just be happy she was in love and had a future with him to look forward too.
Ali woke up to her cell phone ringing on the bedside table. “Hello?” she answered, blinking at the sun shining into the room.
“Mrs. Hayes?”
“Yes, this is she.”
“This is Linda from Doctor Webber’s office calling to reschedule Micah’s appointment. We have an opening this afternoon. Will you be able to bring Micah in?”
“Um . . . this afternoon?” she asked as Johnny came into the room carrying Micah.
“Yes, ma’am, we had a cancellation today.”
“Today . . . what time?” Ali asked, rubbing sleep from her eyes.
“One-fifteen this afternoon.”
She looked at Johnny and said, “Okay . . . we can be there at one fifteen.”
“Great! We can’t wait to see Micah again.”
“Thank you.” She closed her phone and laid it back on the nightstand.
“Who was that?” Johnny asked.
“Good morning, sweetpea.” She reached out for Micah. “It was the doctor’s office. They wanted to reschedule his appointment.”
“Reschedule . . . what appointment?”
“He’s late for his four-month well baby appointment and they want to follow-up from when he was seen in Sacramento after he was found. I didn’t make it to the appointment last Wednesday.”
“Ali, if Micah needs to go get checked out, you shouldn’t put it off.”
She moaned, hiding her face in the bed. “I know . . .”
“Why didn’t you ask me to take you?”
“I don’t know, I was just afraid.” Her words were muffled by the comforter. She poked her eye out to see him. “Will you take us today?”