by Harlow James
Chapter 5
Rachel
I’m early. But then again, I’m the type of person who thinks being fifteen minutes early is actually arriving on time, and arriving on time is being late.
As I pull up to the curb outside of the charming house in the small neighborhood in the northern part of Emerson Falls, I double check the address to make sure I’m in the right place. A silver SUV is parked in the driveway that connects to a sidewalk that leads up to the front door. Several trucks and toys are scattered on the grass in the front yard, indicating there’s definitely a small child that lives here. The front door is a dark blue with a matching security screen, which contrasts nicely against the white stucco of the house, and a few pink flowers fill two planters on the porch. For being an older home, it’s well taken care of but definitely shows it’s being lived in. And the warmth I get just looking at it actually reminds me it’s a lot like my house from when we lived in the Bronx, just less run down of course.
“She’s here! Daddy, Rachel is here!” The voice I could never forget pulls me from my perusal of the yard as his face comes into view behind the steel security screen attached to the front door, his smile so bold and genuine, it assures me that this is where I’m supposed to be right now—taking care of this little boy for the foreseeable future.
Reaching for the bag on my seat first, I exit the car and climb up the small hill from the sidewalk to the front door. I can see the little boy bursting at the seams through the screen opening just as Luke comes around to where Grayson is standing, dressed in a button-down shirt and slacks, a far different ensemble than the one he was wearing at the coffee shop earlier.
“Hold on, Grayson,” he chuckles as he reaches to unlock the deadbolt, the clank of the metal granting us the freedom to hug once the door swings open and Grayson launches himself into my arms.
“Rachel! My daddy says you get to watch me tonight!” Grayson is vibrating with his excitement and I can’t help but reciprocate.
“I know! I’m so happy to see you again, sweetie! And look,” I gesture to the bag sitting on the ground beside me. “I brought games for us to play and stuff to make cookies.”
“Yes! This is going to be the best night ever!” He shouts before turning away and running back inside, leaving me alone with Luke.
As I stand from my crouched position, I take him in slowly as I rise. He’s got large feet—which you know what they say about that—big shoes. His long legs are clad in dark grey slacks that showcase the muscular body I’m sure he’s hiding underneath. A nice bulge hits my eyes next as I desperately try to avoid looking at it, but fail miserably, before my eyes travel up the broad torso of this man that is easily over six feet tall. A plum dress shirt stretches across his chest, leading up to his neck and jaw covered in dark stubble even thicker than it was this morning. His eyes meet mine as soon as I register that he’s watching me, making me swallow hard while wondering if he can read my mind.
When I first saw him yesterday, I couldn’t deny how attractive he was, but I never thought I’d see him again. Now that we’ve talked more and I’ve agreed to be a caregiver to his son, I’m chastising myself for thinking of him this way—as a man who’s so stunningly handsome, I think I’ve made a huge mistake in agreeing to work for him.
But his son—the little boy who stole my heart—is the true reason I’m here. And as long as I can remind myself of that, I think I’ll be okay.
“Hey. Thanks again for this,” he greets me, ushering me inside as Grayson comes running around the corner.
“Rachel! This is my Spiderman doll! Isn’t he cool?” Tiny hands shove the plastic doll as close to my face as possible.
“So cool, buddy.”
“Do you want to see my room?” He yells, bouncing up and down on his toes.
“I do, but I need to talk to your dad first, okay?”
His face falls flat, but then Luke chimes in to save the day. “Why don’t you go make sure your room is picked up so when Rachel sees it, it looks perfect.”
“Okay, Daddy.” He takes off down the hallway to my left as I turn to observe the rest of the house. When we walked through the door, we landed right in the living room, where a dark brown sectional couch faces the television on the furthest wall. An entertainment center houses the TV, along with a hefty collection of DVDs and a few pictures and candles lining the shelves. An organizational cubby with fabric containers is situated in one corner, topped with several toys too big to fit inside. Behind the couch is the kitchen that opens up to the living room with a decent-sized island stationed in the middle that will be perfect for cooking in while allowing me to keep an eye on Grayson. Dark brown cabinets and granite counter tops give it a masculine feel, but still makes it feel like a home.
“Here, let me take that,” Luke interrupts my observations, reaching for the bag of goodies for Grayson and walking further inside the house, depositing the bag on the island as I follow closely behind.
“Thanks. Your house is lovely.”
He looks around for a minute before focusing back on me. “Thank you. I guess it will be your house too now, for the foreseeable future.”
I let out a small chuckle. “I guess you’re right.”
“Okay,” he clears his throat and then reaches for a piece of paper on the counter. “I wrote down everything I could think of—Grayson’s schedule, his likes and dislikes, and a few emergency numbers. You have my number, but in the event I don’t answer my phone, these people should be able to help you. He doesn’t have any allergies that I know of, so you should be good on the food front. However, he’s a kid, so one day he likes something and the next day he won’t eat it. All I ask is that he gets at least one vegetable and fruit with his dinner.”
“I can manage that,” I assure him.
“Okay. I talked to my lawyer today and he’s drawing up a contract for you to sign. As of right now, I know I’ll need you until Grayson starts kindergarten in the fall, so at least for the next six months.”
“Well, that’s when I’m due to start the credentialing program, so it works out perfectly.”
“Awesome. I can pay you for the rest of the week, and then every two weeks after that, if that sounds reasonable?”
I nod, knowing that the money isn’t the reason why I’m doing this, but I want him to feel confident in his decision. “Yup. Perfect.”
“Okay. Good luck. My son can be a handful…”
“All kids can. But please don’t worry. We had a great time the other day, and I’m sure we’ll be fine tonight.”
Luke sighs. “This is… this is really hard for me, Rachel. I appreciate you doing this, more than you’ll ever know. But it’s going to take some time getting used to.” I can see the apprehension and anguish on his face, so I reach out to place my hand on his resting on the counter, the warmth and buzzing from our skin touching warns me this may be inappropriate, but I know he needs the reassurance.
“I understand. Let me know whatever I can do to make you feel more comfortable.”
“Thank you. I’ll be home around ten thirty,” he says before yelling down the hall. “Grayson!”
The patter of little feet gets louder as Grayson stops in front of us. “Are you ready to see my room, Rachel?”
We both laugh before Luke kneels down in front of his son. “Daddy is getting ready to leave for work now. Be good for Rachel please. She has permission to put you in timeout if you don’t behave, do you hear me?”
Grayson’s head bobs up and down hurriedly. “Yes, Daddy.”
“Alright, bud. I love you. You’ll be in bed by the time I get home, so I’ll see you in the morning.”
The two boys hug each other tight, and I swear, my heart melts at the image. “I love you too, Daddy.” Luke rises and then turns to me, his eyes so full of anguish and confusion.
“We will be fine. Go before you’re late. I remember if the professor was over ten minutes late, the class was cancelled.” I wink at him playfully, which makes the
corner of his mouth tip up. It’s not a full-blown smile, but I’ll take it.
“Okay. Thanks again,” he says before turning, grabbing his bag by the door and his winter coat, and then shutting the door behind him.
“Rachel! You gotta see my room…” Grayson whines now, impatient with having to wait so long to show me something that is clearly important to him.
“Okay, buddy. Show me!” He takes my hand in his as he guides me to his room with dark blue walls, super hero posters, and more toys than any little boy could imagine.
Our evening flies by so quickly, full of tantalizing conversation on facts about the human body of course, a dinner of chicken nuggets, carrots, and apples, and bath time, where somehow I end up wearing more water than Grayson.
“Which story would you like tonight?” I ask Grayson as he climbs into his bed with a Spiderman comforter. Clearly the kid likes Spiderman.
“This one. My daddy doesn’t like to read it to me because it makes him sad,” he explains as he shoves the book into my hands. Love You Forever—yeah, I remember how emotional my mother got when she read me this book too.
“Well, sometimes books can make us sad.”
“It’s because my mommy used to read this book to me when I was a baby…” he answers honestly, which piques my interest. I know Luke said he’s a single dad, but he didn’t elaborate on that fact.
“Where is your mommy?” I ask, brushing his blonde hair from his eyes as he looks up at me.
“She’s an angel now. She watches over me from heaven.”
And then my heart shatters in my chest. This poor boy lost his mom at such a young age, he probably doesn’t even remember her. “I’m sorry. She still loves you very much though. You know that, right?”
He nods assuredly. “Yes, I do. My daddy tells me so.”
“Good.”
“Are you gonna be my new mommy?” My stomach plummets with his question.
“No, sweetie. No one can ever replace your mommy. But I will take care of you while your daddy works. We are gonna be the best of friends too. How does that sound?” I say, choking back tears that threaten to fall.
“I like making friends.” He smiles up at me, stealing yet another piece of my heart.
“Me too. Okay, let’s read.”
I manage to get through the book without shedding a tear, but as soon as I close the door to his room and lean up against the hallway just to the right, I let them break free. This poor boy. And Luke. How on earth has he dealt with losing his wife and raising his son all alone? My mind and heart ache for the two of them, only reminding me how fragile this situation is that I’ve immersed myself in.
Once I compose myself and open my eyes, the blonde woman in the frame straight across from me catches my attention, pulling me closer as I study her face. Those dark eyes, that bright hair, that smile—a miniature version of it is sleeping soundly in the room behind me, and it just makes the anguish I feel about their circumstances build. Grayson looks just like his mom, a fact that explains why Luke’s dark features aren’t anywhere to be seen on his boy.
As I coast down the hall, I survey the few pictures hanging up of Luke’s late wife, noticing most don’t have Grayson in them. He must have been very young when she passed.
After what seems like an hour, I finally gather my emotions and take a seat on the couch, laying my head on the cushion and closing my eyes with the intention of just resting, but apparently the excitement of the day wears off quickly as I fall asleep.
“Rachel…” a deep whisper pulls me out of my slumber.
“Hmmm…” I nuzzle further into the pillow as I hear a light chuckle above me.
“Rachel… wake up.”
My eyes pop open and I shoot up in a panic, colliding with the head of the person standing above me.
“Fuck!” Luke hisses as he grabs his nose and I gasp, realizing I just head butted him.
“Oh my God, Luke. I’m so sorry!” I stand, assessing his face. Luckily, he’s not bleeding, but his eyes are clearly watering.
Wincing at me with one eye open, he hisses and then relaxes slightly. “It’s alright. It was an accident.”
“You scared me. For a second, I thought someone had broken in or Grayson needed me. I’m sorry. I never should have fallen asleep.”
“It’s okay, Rachel. Listening to Grayson talk your ear off all night can be exhausting,” he agrees, rubbing his nose a few times before focusing on my face. His dark eyes stare down at me, eliciting yet another inappropriate reaction from my body. Our proximity wakes up my core, a heat spreading from between my legs and out through my belly. Oh boy, this isn’t good.
“Uh, yeah. But he was great. An angel.”
“I’m glad to hear it. Thank you again.”
“It’s truly no problem, Luke. I’m happy I’m here,” I say, thinking back on how heartbroken I was earlier to learn more about his circumstances.
“Me too. Sorry I texted so much earlier,” he says embarrassingly, referencing the dozen or so texts we exchanged. He checked in on us in between each of his classes. I didn’t mind and actually expected it, so we made sure to document our night and send pictures.
“Don’t apologize for being a good father. I would have been worried if you hadn’t checked in,” I say as I move around him, sliding my boots back on.
“Any cookies left?” He moves into the kitchen, finding the Tupperware on the counter and popping it open, biting into a cookie quickly. I can’t help but admire the way his lips curl around the dough, the way his tongue darts out to lick off a crumb on the corner of his mouth.
Stop it, Rachel. Nothing can happen here. Shut down these thoughts now.
“I think you answered that question,” I tease. “Anyway, I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Yeah. See you in the morning. Sorry you can’t stay. I’ll have the guest room ready by this weekend, I promise.”
“It’s not a big deal, but yes, it will be nice not having to leave late and come back in the morning every day. Goodnight, Luke,” I whisper, gathering my purse and shooting him a small wave before quietly opening the door and shutting it behind me, walking to my car in the chill of the night.
Once I’m settled inside waiting for the heater to blast warm air, I look back at the home I infiltrated this evening. So much love and so much hurt lies within those walls, and so many emotions swirl inside of me as I fight the sorrow and attraction I feel for the man living inside.
Chapter 6
Luke
“Tell me why I had to hear that you hired a nanny from Mom?” My sister scolds me through the phone as I drive to class Monday morning.
“Well, good morning to you too, Tenley.”
“Don’t try to change the subject. Spill older brother.” I can hear her kids screaming in the background, but it doesn’t seem to faze her.
I let out a defeated sigh as I continue to drive, signaling to turn. “I had to. Mom falling was the last straw. I feel guilty, but I can’t rely solely on Mom and Dad anymore, Ten. I need help and this girl is actually a friend of Cash and Piper’s, so I feel like I can trust her. It’s better than trying to hire some stranger or go through an agency. Besides, it’s only for a few months. Once Grayson is in kindergarten, things will get easier.”
“Why don’t you just put him in a daycare like other working parents? My kids go to daycare and are just fine,” she replies, the sound of her sipping her coffee follows.
“I know. I’m not bashing daycares. I just… he’s only ever been with Mom and Dad, you know? I’d hate to enroll him somewhere only to have him leave in a few months after he’s finally adjusted. This way I have someone for the days when I teach at night too, Ten. I can’t take him to daycare at night.”
She relents. “True. So… what’s her name? What’s she like? And most importantly, does Grayson like her?”
I can’t help the pull of my lips as I smile at the thought of how smitten Grayson is with Rachel. I swear, it’s like he’s crushing on
her harder than I am.
Which I’m not. Nope. I am not finding my live-in nanny attractive in the least.
“He loves her, Tenley. She’s energetic and smart and has so much patience with him. You know how talkative he can be…”
“Yes. In fact, I’m due for another lesson about the human body soon from my nephew,” she teases, referencing their weekly phone calls.
“I’ll make sure we call you tonight. Rachel has been reading him even more books and they’ve been working on projects. On Friday I came home to a replica of the human heart with red food coloring pumping through it to mimic blood.” Slowing down, I prepare to exit the highway, arriving at the university fifteen minutes before my first class.
“Wow.”
“Yeah. She’s getting ready to start her credential program in the fall to be an elementary teacher. Based on what I’ve seen in the past few days, I think that’s her calling.” I can hear the comment coming through the silence on the phone. “Just say it, Tenley,” I huff as I pull into a parking spot and shut off my car.
“Is she pretty?”
I don’t answer—not because I don’t have an answer, but because I don’t like my answer.
“Is there something going on between the two of you, Luke? Because if there were….”
“No. Absolutely not. There is nothing between me and Rachel, okay? For starters, she’s my nanny. And two, I can’t do that to Hannah.” I feel my anger rise while the thoughts I’ve had of Rachel over the past few days filter through my mind. I’m ashamed to admit I find her attractive and obviously love how much she’s taken to my son. But that’s all this can be. I can’t get involved with anyone, especially her. It’s too messy. And besides, I’m not looking for a relationship. The last woman I loved died, and I don’t need to lose someone else again.