Shattered: A Salvation Society Novel

by Bella Emy

  He smiles again. “Good, too.”

  I place my empty cup on the table. “Are you sure you don’t want anything? Let me at least get you something to drink.”

  He shakes his head. “No, really. I’m good. I just enjoyed getting away for a bit and hanging out with you guys. But should we get going?”

  It’s getting late. That’s probably not a bad idea. “Sure, let’s go.”

  We rise and begin our walk back home. As we cross onto the next block, my voice breaks our silence. “So Kalen, how are you liking school?”

  I know it’s a general, stupid question, but it was all I could think of. I want to talk to him and break the ice barrier between us, but I didn’t know what to say. I don’t know all that much about him, and yet, I can’t stop thinking about him all the time.

  “It’s different from my old school, but I really like it. Everyone has been so nice.”

  Oh, yeah. I noticed how nice everyone was being at the beginning of the pep rally.

  I scoff and he looks over at me. “I’m sure…”

  He furrows his brows. “What do you mean?”

  I shrug as we wait on the corner of the same red light as the first night I met him, and he turns to face me. Knots form in the pit of my stomach as he stands just inches away, staring at me. “I see the way the girls look at you, and I’ve heard the rumors. I saw Cynthia Jenkins talk to you before the pep rally started… she’s gorgeous.” I shrug again. “You’re very popular.”

  Yeah, I’m jealous about it, even if he did obviously tell her no to whatever it was she asked him. But just knowing she had her sights set on him is enough to cause me this uneasy feeling in my belly.

  He searches my eyes, and I wait for him to say something, anything. Now would be the perfect time for him to make a move on me, if he were at all interested in me, but I know he can’t be. There’s just no way. Wouldn’t he have done so by now?

  The light changes to red and we walk across the street before another word is said. I’m disappointed. So fucking disappointed.

  “Anyway, you don’t have to walk me all the way home. I’ll be fine on my own… I’m literally just a few blocks away,” I say and begin walking away from him. What am I standing around for anyway? It’s obvious this is not what I was hoping it would be. He’s not interested, and I’m just wasting my time hoping and wishing for something that will just never be.

  “Lexi, wait!” he shouts.

  I stop and spin around, and before I know it, he’s standing just a mere couple of inches away from me once again. Staring down into my eyes, he hesitates for only a second before saying, “There’s no one else I want more than you.”

  What?! Have I heard him correctly? I don’t know if I have. My dark eyes widen, and my mouth forms an O. “What?”

  He takes a deep breath and smiles nervously, pushing back his hair. “I want you, Lexi…. no one else.”

  I consider his words carefully, and before I have a chance to back up or say something against them, Kalen leans forward, grabs my chin gently and slams his lips into mine.

  Chapter Twelve

  He’s kissing me. Oh my God… My whole body tenses as his lips land on mine, and then suddenly relaxes. As we pull away just a smidge, our foreheads touch and the two of us smile, then laugh. Is this what it’s like to be in love? Because, Jesus, if I don’t already feel like I’ve fallen down a rabbit hole that I can’t pull myself out of… And I don’t want to.

  As the light changes, he grabs my hand, and we walk in silence once more for a while. Butterflies flutter around in my belly with each step we take, and the closer we get to my house, the more I realize I don’t want this night with him to end yet again.

  I should have known there was no way in hell I’d be able to forget about him, not after the way he makes me feel. And Lord knows how much I’ve missed him talking to me during school. Seeing him around the halls for only seconds is not enough for me, and now, I realize that more than ever.

  We reach my house minutes later, and as we stop in front of it, we turn to face one another. His hand reaches down and pushes my hair out of my eyes and then cups my face. God, it feels so good to have his touch on me. I place my hand over his. His green eyes are closed, and I could seriously stay right in this position with him for the rest of the night without getting tired.

  He moves his hand from my cheek and grabs my hands in his. “Alexa,” he whispers, then pauses momentarily and says, “See me tomorrow?”

  Dammit, the way it sounds as my name leaves his lips. No one really calls me Alexa besides my mother and only when she’s mad at me or telling me something serious, but fuck, he can call me it any time he wants.

  I take in a deep breath. Tomorrow is Saturday, I’m totally free, but if I weren’t, I would gladly change my plans for him. Something about the way he kissed me, something about his words to me… something in me has changed. I’m no longer scared to give him my time. I’m no longer wondering about the what-ifs. Something about this very moment, with him standing in front of my house, makes everything feel so different between him and me. Maybe it’s because of his confession that he likes me and him kissing me. I need to see where this is going, where it’s going to lead if I let myself go and let things be without trying to control the situation. I need to. I owe it to myself to do so. If this feeling is anything like what’s meant to be with him, then dammit, I’m game.

  “Where?” I whisper.

  He smiles and kisses me softly before saying, “I’ll pick you up… be ready by seven.”

  “Okay,” I whisper, holding myself back from smiling any harder than I am right now. But the way I’m feeling at this moment, I want to jump up and down and kiss him all over again.

  “Okay,” he repeats. “I’ll see you then, beautiful girl.” He places another small soft peck on my lips and then one on my forehead before pulling away, and our hands let go.

  The feel of his lips lingers on mine long after we kiss, and I go inside. Goddamn… he’s making me feel things I have never felt before.

  I sneak inside not to disturb my mom, and thankfully, I make it all the way up to my room without her noticing. The house is dark, so I’m assuming she’s already in bed, even though it’s not super late. I lock my bedroom door, and as I do, I lean against it, reliving the evening with Kalen in my mind. His words took me by surprise. I could have sworn he’d kept his distance from me because he was filling his time talking to other girls. But when he said there was only me, and the way he looked into my eyes, I knew he was serious.

  I take a step forward, moving away from my door and spin around. I feel like I’m on cloud nine right now, and I have no idea how I’m going to get to sleep tonight and wait for tomorrow to come when I’ll be with him once more.

  “Do you ever come here?” Kalen asks as we stare out over the water of the creek flowing by.

  It’s a gorgeous evening with the sun just starting to make its descent. There’s a soft breeze whooshing through the trees, and the leaves gently sway in its wake from side to side.

  He takes a bite of his sandwich and then looks back at me. When he picked me up at my house earlier this evening, I was pretty surprised to find he’d packed a little picnic basket and we’d be dining on the grass facing the creek. That’s total bonus points for him. It was incredibly sweet, and I was not expecting it.

  I swallow a mouthful of water and then answer his question. “Only when I’ve got things on my mind, but I really love this place. It’s serene and tranquil… I guess that’s where they got the town’s name from.”

  He chuckles. “Agreed. It’s very peaceful out here. I love spending time here just thinking of things as well.” He pauses for a second and then continues, “But I do have to tell you, it’s so much better coming here with someone special.”

  He smiles at me, and I can feel my cheeks changing to a bright shade of pink. Holy hell. Is it possible to fall in love with someone practically overnight?

  His eyes roam over me, a
nd as I’m about to open my mouth and speak, he beats me to it. “Hey, I want to show you something.”

  “What?” I tilt my head, smiling, pondering over his statement.

  His beautiful smile seriously makes my heart melt. What I would give to see him smiling at me like this all the time…

  As my thoughts wander further and further, he brings me out of them and back to reality.

  “Come on, follow me.” In an instant, he’s up on his feet and reaching out for me to grab his hand.

  “Okay,” I say, placing my hand in his and letting him help me up.

  We walk along the rocks lining the creek as his hand softly squeezes mine. It feels so good to be here with him. The excitement is making me feel giddy and silly, but I like it.

  “Where are we going?” I giggle through the words as he pulls me along.

  “It’s a surprise… we’ll be there soon.”

  I’m usually not one for surprises, but if this means our evening doesn’t have to come to an end yet, then I’m all for it. And plus, Kalen telling me he has a surprise for me is kind of intriguing.

  After a few moments, we reach the end of the creek that gives way to the lake. I typically don’t ever come out this far, but it’s beautiful and just as peaceful.

  He tugs me closer to his side and my insides start trembling. How is it that he so casually makes me feel like I’m on top of the world right now? How did I go from pushing him away to wanting him to stay so quickly?

  “Look, Lexi… over there underneath the willow tree…” he says, averting my gaze over to our right.

  As I turn my head, I see it. A flock of swans swim gracefully down the lake, emerging from underneath the branches of the weeping willows.

  My mouth goes agape and I gasp, taking in its beauty. “Oh my God, Kalen… they’re gorgeous. This whole evening has been so beautiful.”

  “You’re what’s gorgeous, beautiful girl.”

  His words catch me off guard, and I snap my head around to face him. His straightforward expression lets me know he’s not playing any games and he’s serious.

  “Kalen, I—”

  He cuts me off, bringing a finger up to his lips, shushing me. He softly pulls me against him as his back leans against one of the trees.

  My body crushes gently into his as I look up into his eyes and he’s staring down at mine. His smile is evident once more. How the hell did I end up here with him?

  He then cups my face in his hands and says, “You’re beautiful, Lexi. I love spending time with you, and I’m so grateful you’ve given me a chance to see you.” He pauses, taking a breath and then continues. “But most of all, what I like best about you is your beautiful heart. You’re not one to judge or dismiss me just because I’m not like all the other guys around here.”

  Of course he’s not like the other guys. Most of them are assholes, and if I felt he were one, I wouldn’t have agreed to see him outside of school. I wouldn’t have wanted to see him at all.

  But he’s been such a sweet guy, and honestly, I can’t imagine anyone wouldn’t kill to be standing right where I am at this moment with him.

  “Of course you’re different. You’re not like any of the guys from our school, and that’s a great thing. I love how sweet you are. Most guys are jerks.”

  His hands drop, and he looks away just for a second before meeting my gaze once more. Then his hands find mine, and he grabs onto them tightly.

  Shaking his head, he says. “I know, but I’m not referring to all that.”

  I furrow my brows. “I’m not sure I’m following you then. What do you mean?”

  Taking a deep breath, he searches my eyes. “Lexi. I want to give you the world. I haven’t been able to get you off of my mind since the first moment I laid eyes on you, but I don’t even know how to say this. I’m not so well off like so many people in this neighborhood are. My dad and I really struggle to make it through each month and some people treat me differently because of it. But you? You’ve just been real and genuine with me, not having a care in the world about money or how much of it people have.”

  “Kalen… I just wa—”

  He places his index finger on my lips. “Shush… let me finish, please.”

  I swallow thickly. His touch on my lips makes me want to take it into my mouth and kiss and suckle on it. Because the way he makes me feel causes my body to react in ways I never have before.

  He moves his finger from my lips and once again takes my hand in his. “I’ve been scared. So scared. I didn’t want you thinking I was a nobody like a lot of people do and run away. And I’m so sorry I have nothing to offer you but myself… no diamond rings, no expensive trips around the world… none of it. I just really like you, Lexi. I like you so much, and I hope you don’t stop talking to me because of all this.”

  Now it all makes sense why sometimes when we’d hang out, he would not get ice cream or a soda or anything. He didn’t have the money to waste. I wish I would have known. I’d have no problem getting him something.

  He searches my face for something, but I can’t tell what it is. I don’t care if he has a million dollars or a penny. All I care about is him as a person and how he treats me.

  “May I?” I ask to see if he’s done speaking so I can let him know how I feel.

  Once more, he breathes in deeply, his chest rising and then falling hard. He nods without saying a word this time.

  I offer him a small smile, realizing that him telling me what he just did must have been hard for him. Being judged or having people look down on him because he isn’t as fortunate as they are must be tough. Not knowing who your real friends are and whatnot has to be difficult.

  “Kalen, the money and all that other stuff? I don’t care about it. I don’t want it.” I search his eyes, hoping he knows I’m serious. “All that stuff doesn’t matter to me. What matters to me is how you feel about me, how you treat me, and right now, I couldn’t ask for anyone better. You’ve been nothing but amazing and sweet and just wonderful to me. And I realize that I’m really starting to like you… a lot.”

  A ghost of a smile pulls at the corner of his lips and he visibly relaxes at my words.

  He shrugs. “I don’t know. I just want you to know my feelings for you are real and that I would give you the world if I could. I really care about you a lot.” His eyes drop to the ground.

  I lift his chin with a finger and wait until his eyes meet mine. “Kalen, all that matters to me is how you treat me and that you care about me.”

  Now his smile is back completely. “I really do, Lexi. And I really want to be with you…”

  My eyes widen. “Are you asking me what I think you’re asking me?”

  He chuckles. “Depends. What are you thinking?”

  I giggle. “Are you saying you want to be my man?”

  He laughs again. “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

  I want to squeal. He’s asking me to be his girlfriend, and I can’t imagine this night ending any better than it already is.

  “So, what do you say?”

  I smile wider than I ever have. “I say… I thought you’d never ask.”

  In an instant, his hands grip my waist and he lifts me up into the air. Now I actually do squeal, and as he brings me down, our lips meet, and it’s the best kiss we’ve shared yet.

  Correction. This night just got a whole lot better than it was before.

  Chapter Thirteen

  The bright lights and loud, blaring music fill the warm October evening. It’s a perfect night in Tranquility Creek, and the last month has been the absolute best. Things changed from day to night in an instant, but I wouldn’t trade them for the world. Kalen has been by my side, and the past couple of weeks, we’ve spent every spare moment together. To say it’s been great is barely scratching the surface. He’s been wonderful, and each day, I find myself falling faster and faster for him.

  Children’s laughter surrounds us as their parents chase them from one ride to the next. Every Oc
tober, before fall really gets underway, the town has a carnival to celebrate its history and of course, make extra money.

  I feel the soft squeeze on my hand from Kalen and my face turns to meet his gaze. He’s smiling at me, and I automatically smile back. He’s beautiful.

  “Hi, babe,” he whispers. He leans his head down and kisses my forehead.

  “Oooh, can we go on the Ferris wheel, baby?” Erin’s voice breaks in. She and Jason are walking hand in hand just a few feet ahead of us. They stop and so do we.

  Jason looks up at the ride coming up to our right. “Of course we can, sexy,” he says to her and leans down to kiss her on the lips. Then turning around to face Kalen and me, he asks, “Are you guys going to join us?”

  He looks down at me and I just stare back at him with my eyes lighting up and nod my head. He nods back and then faces Jason. “Yeah, let’s do it.”

  “Yay!” Erin shouts and we make our way to the ride, lining up on the side of it.

  Kalen leans against the banister as we wait in line and I position myself in between his legs. My head softly lands on his chest and I wrap my arms around his waist. His arms embrace me back, and I swear, I could stay forever in this moment, with him holding me just like this.

  He kisses the top of my head. “I adore you, Alexa Alderidge.” Another small kiss on the top of my head.

  I tilt my head up and look into his eyes with a smile. “I will always be yours, Kalen Starling.”

  He chuckles and I love that we say this very phrase to one another each and every time. Sometimes I say my line first; sometimes he says his first. It’s something we started doing after our first date down at the creek. It’s like saying I love you without freaking the other person out. At least that’s how I have come to interpret it. I’m just glad we have our own little thing that no one really knows about except for the two of us. It feels private and intimate and like it’s just he and I in the world.

  Our turn finally arrives to board the Ferris wheel minutes after Erin and Jason get on. I scoot in first and he follows me in, waiting for the attendant to make sure the door is securely locked and we’re set to go.