Magic and Mayhem

by R K Dreaming

  Whenever Felix did it, the net soared out from his hands and unwrapped itself in midair in a smooth spiral motion, and always fell in a perfect circle around the chair they were using as a target, allowing him to swiftly yank the metal drawstring closed around it.

  When Percy and Shara did it, the net flew sideways, or it unfolded in a sagging heap, or it stayed tightly bundled up because they hadn’t unleashed its cord properly. It took what felt like hundreds of throws before either of them could manage the feat of getting it to unfold into something resembling a circle in midair.

  Percy turned out to be slightly better at it than Shara, probably because she was a bit taller. It was agreed that Shara would be the lookout.

  Finally when they were ready, they went upstairs to find that Opal had turned back into Juliet Jolie again.

  Juliet had put on a little black cocktail dress and nude tights and dark sunglasses and a big floppy brimmed hat which even had a veil to cover her face. Her make-up was immaculate, and she was wearing a slinky fur cloak over the whole ensemble. On her feet were some very tall stiletto heels that Percy had no idea how she managed to walk in.

  “You’ll have to get rid of the veil,” said Percy, “So that we can photograph you properly.”

  Shara went outside the house to wait on the doorstep and find a moment when the street was relatively clear of passersby. Nan went with her to take up a position with her camera some way down the street where she could get all of the landmarks she wanted into the shot.

  As soon as the coast was satisfactorily clear, Shara whistled loudly and hurried to get out of sight. Juliet Jolie walked out of the house and a little way down the pavement. Then she walked back towards the now closed front door, where she fumbled with her keys and looked around nervously as if making sure that no one was watching her as she let herself back in.

  From down the street, Nan gave a thumbs up to Felix and Percy who had been discreetly watching from an upstairs window where they would not get into the shot.

  Nan and Shara ran back to the house breathlessly.

  “Nobody noticed,” said Shara.

  “I can’t believe that worked,” said Nan.

  “Neither can I!” said Juliet. “I never thought the simple act of opening a door could be so nerve wracking. I was sure that the Sheedys would jump out at me at any moment and take me away!”

  “Hopefully they will try to do that any time from tomorrow onwards when we are ready for them,” said Felix.

  “And you won’t be needing me for any of this?” said Juliet shakily, her big eyes wide with worry, as if Percy and Felix might change their minds.

  Percy shook her head. “It’s best if you wait at home with mum. You won’t tell her any of this, will you? She’ll be so mad!”

  “I promise I won’t tell,” said Juliet. “It’s such a relief to know I won’t have to be here. But I’m worried for you all. Something could go terribly wrong.”

  “It’s fine. We’ll get Jeeves to pretend to be you. I know that he’ll be happy to do it. When we get home, you’ll change that wig of yours into the same color as your hair?”

  “Chestnut silk, my Brad used to call it,” she said wistfully.

  Juliet had assured them there would be no need to purchase a wig as she had several in many different colors, and could simply transform one to look like her real hair using magic.

  “And Jeeves can have the pick of my wardrobe too, although I do think he’ll enjoy the outfit I have in mind for him.” Juliet got a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

  “That’s perfect,” said Percy. “Everything is on track then. From tomorrow after school we’ll start laying in wait here, with Jeeves as bait in the front bedroom window. We’ll have to pretend to mum that I’ve upset Jeeves and put him into one of his hissy fits so that she doesn’t wonder why he isn’t cooking dinner anymore.”

  “Don’t worry,” said Juliet. “I’ll make sure to keep your mum distracted so that she doesn’t wonder where you are.”

  “And you can tell my mum if she ever asks, that I’ve been doing excellently in the extra lessons you’ve been giving me after school,” said Nan. “That’s what I’ve had to tell her to explain why I’m going to be out so much.”

  “And that convinced her?” said Percy skeptically. “Extra tuition? But you’re a model student!”

  “I told her we’re doing improvisation classes for drama.”

  “Nice one,” said Shara. “That’s what I’ll tell my mum too. Dad doesn’t have night shifts for a few days, so he’ll be able to stay with Liro at the hospital while mum gets some rest.”

  “Let’s just hope it only takes a few days,” said Nan. “Or mum is going to start getting suspicious again.”

  “It has to only take a few days,” said Percy. “After all, imagine how desperate they are to find Juliet! They’ll probably be worried that she’s moving from place to place and want to make their move quickly. At least I hope so.”

  “I’ll be a little bit late joining you guys after school tomorrow,” said Felix apologetically. “I’ve got a meeting after school with Councilor Strickt and Octavia, but I’ll come straight after that.”

  Nan frowned. “But if you let yourself in through the back door while we are all in position, how will we know it’s you and not them? I’d be worried that they might have somehow got past Shara without her seeing them.”

  “I’ll text you,” said Felix with a grin, “or I suppose I could whistle.” He made a long whistling sound that was almost like an owl, but distinctive enough to not be.

  Maybe Nan thought he was mocking her worries, because she said, “Oh shut up. You can send us a text and do a whistle, just in case my phone starts playing up. I can never tell when it’ll die on me. It wouldn’t be a problem if I could get my hands on a special phone like yours.”

  “Sorry,” he said. “I might be able to snitch keys to empty houses, but I can’t snitch one of those babies. Proprietary technology. More than my life is worth!”

  “Excellent,” said Percy. “We all know what we are doing then.”

  “Shara,” said Juliet anxiously. “If you are keeping lookout, will you message me too, to keep me updated when the Sheedys go into the house? I’ll be so anxious, and it will really help set my mind at rest. And if I don’t hear back from you in the half hour after that, I’ll know that I had better tell Gwen everything so that we can come and find you and make sure you’re safe. I don’t feel right, knowing that you’re going to all this trouble for me.”

  “That’s a good idea actually,” said Percy. “But don’t worry. Felix is a professional, as you can see.” She gave him a cheeky wink. “I’m sure everything will go to plan.”

  Juliet went to take her potion and returned as Opal again.

  They all left the house together, with Felix tapping away at his phone, checking the photographs that Nan had taken and selecting the ones that gave the clearest views of both the landmarks and of Juliet Jolie’s face. By the time they had reached the tube station, he had uploaded them to various sites on the internet.

  “It’s done,” he said with a grin. “Now we wait.”

  The next day after school, as discussed, Juliet went home to keep Percy’s mum busy, and Percy, Nan and Shara all headed together to the house in Duke of York Street.

  It felt quieter at the house today, with just the three of them. The house itself seemed to be filled with a sense of expectation.

  They sat around the dining room table eating the extra sandwiches that Jeeves had packed for them and listening to the quiet, and jumping nervously at every unexpected little sound. They could hear the faint sounds of traffic on the street outside, and any raised voices of people who walked past the front door.

  Percy had spoken to Jeeves the previous evening, and he had agreed to the plan with great enthusiasm. As Felix would not arrive until six o’clock, they had agreed that Jeeves would time his arrival for around half past six. They could not afford for the Sheedys to break-in befor
e Felix arrived.

  Even so, Nan kept glancing towards the direction of the front door. She had placed her wand on the table in front of her as she ate, ready to seize it in case the Sheedys were so impatient to get Juliet that they didn’t wait to make sure that she had arrived first.

  At a quarter to six, Shara left the house via the back door, from where she would circle out onto the street and keep watch from the café opposite.

  Percy and Nan went upstairs, Percy to her allotted hiding spot in one of the first floor bedrooms, and Nan to her hiding spot up on the second floor landing.

  As all of the curtains inside the house were drawn, the interior was fairly dark, which created a moody and slightly ominous atmosphere.

  Percy waited alone in her bedroom, sitting by the door, her phone switched to silent mode lying on the floor beside her. There was a large walk-in closet not too far away that she could run to and lock behind her if the Sheedy’s unexpectedly came into the room and she was unable to overpower them.

  The plan was that after Jeeves arrived, the only bright lights on in the house would be in the middle bedroom where he was. This would draw the Sheedys to that room, rather than to either of the rooms that Percy and Felix would be hiding in.

  As Percy waited in the quiet, she could hear every beat of her heart pounding in her ears. The longer she waited, the louder it pounded. She glanced at her phone. It was already five minutes past six. Felix should have arrived by now, but Shara had not texted, and nor had Felix, and he hadn’t made his hooting whistle sound either.

  She was sure she would have heard it. They had tested the whistle to make sure that both Percy and Nan would be able to hear from within the quiet house. Percy had even been able to hear the snick of the back door lock as it had opened and the quiet thump when Felix had pushed the door shut behind him.

  She heard neither of those sounds now, though she had kept her ears open for them, wishing he would hurry.

  Another ten minutes went by, and Percy’s nerves stretched tighter. Felix was late. Felix was never late. Something was wrong.

  And yet, sitting in the dark behind the door, she didn’t dare get up. At any moment the Sheedys might enter the house and she couldn’t ruin the plan by popping her head out into the open and scaring them off for good.

  It was better to wait. Felix would come. And Jeeves would be here soon.

  Suddenly Percy’s phone screen lit up. Realizing the bright light might be seen in the crack under the dark door, she quickly snatched it up and shielded it inside her jacket, before reading the message.

  Jeeves is entering, it said.

  And now Percy could hear him, the rattle of the key in the front door, noisy and long, as Jeeves made a show of it. And then the slight creak of those hinges opening as Jeeves let himself into the house.

  She could picture him in her head. She had made him try on Juliet’s outfit the evening before. A long dress of black lace that trailed all the way to the ground, and black tights underneath, but no shoes because Jeeves had been unable to keep them on. They had kept dropping off as he glided almost as convincingly as someone who was walking.

  The lack of shoes would not matter. The frilly hem of the dress had been long enough to cover their absence. He had topped it all off with a wide brimmed black hat and huge sunglasses, and allowed his wig to drape over his face. He had taken great pleasure in applying make-up, dusting white powder on himself liberally before putting on the bright red lipstick.

  Finally he had put on an enormously trailing lavish fur coat over the whole ensemble and preened as if he was a tragic and famous beauty.

  Percy almost giggled as she imagined him sweeping up the stairs at this very moment, playing the grieving widow coming home to her lonely house. It was a shame he hadn’t managed to pull off the shoes, because it would have been a nice effect to hear them clicking up the stairs.

  She could hear Jeeves humming though, in a mock feminine tone that was a little too shrill to be entirely realistic. The humming continued as he got to the top of the landing, and opened the door of the middle bedroom. Percy even heard a click as he switched the lights on.

  And now the game was afoot. Jeeves would not know Felix was not here yet. He was probably strutting his stuff in front of the windows already. There was a very sheer net-like drapery over each of the two tall windows of his room, which meant that whoever was watching from outside would be able to see the figure inside the house, but not be able to clearly see her face.

  Distracted by Jeeves’s entry, Percy had forgotten to text Shara to ask about Felix.

  She finished typing out a message asking if Shara had spotted Felix anywhere near the house, when another message popped up on her screen from Shara.

  She expected it would say Felix was finally here. But when she opened it, it said, They are here! Sheedys in car outside house!

  And then another message came.

  Coming to house now! Get ready!

  “Damn it!” Percy whispered to herself in the dark.

  She tapped out an urgent message to Nan, Felix is not here yet! You have to knock Sheedys out with wand! Then I’ll throw net.

  Nan texted back. Will do. When they get on landing.

  Percy waited in the quiet. Her heart pounded so loudly that she wished it would shut the heck up that she could listen clearly. She pressed her ear against the door, waiting for the sound of the front door opening downstairs.

  It would happen any second now. Any second now.

  But the seconds ticked by, turning into minutes, and nobody came. And neither did Shara message again.

  And then Percy heard the door. It opened with a bang. Percy jumped to her feet, cagenet in one hand, her other hand on the doorknob, waiting to fling it open after she heard Nan knock the Sheedys out. They would drop to the ground with a thump. She would trap them immediately. Both of them in one net if she could.

  She waited for the sound of the Sheedys running up the stairs, but instead she heard a shrieking voice. A girl’s voice shouting, “You might as well all come downstairs! The game is up!”

  11. Temper Tantrums

  Percy recognized that voice. She felt like her insides had dropped through the floor. A rush of disappointment and fury came all at once.

  Octavia Smythe-Smith came charging up the stairs, her heels clumping angrily. “I know that you’re in here,” she shouted. “So you might as well come out! You’re trespassing! You shouldn’t even be here!”

  No, no, no! This could not be happening now!

  Percy flung the door of the bedroom she’d been hiding in open and emerged onto the landing. All of the lights were on now inside the house. They shone dazzlingly bright on Octavia standing on the landing, and Felix following her up the stairs.

  The front door below was flung open with a bang and Shara ran in. She ran furiously up the stairs, her eyes on Octavia.

  “How could you!” she yelled. “You’ve ruined everything! They were here, and they took one look at you, and now they’ve driven off!”

  Octavia paid her no attention. She had caught sight of Percy and looked jubilant. Her eyes glittered fiercely. “I knew it! I knew that he was up to something.” She turned to glare at Felix.

  “I can’t believe you followed me,” said Felix. “What I do in my spare time is none of your business!”

  “It is when you are using the Eldritch Council’s property without proper authorization!” she said. “Or are you telling me that you do have authorization? Because I don’t think that Councilor Strickt would have given you lead on a project and not even bothered to tell me about it.”

  The middle bedroom door flung open. Jeeves swept out onto the landing. Octavia gaped at him. He was in his Juliet Jolie outfit, his hat’s brim drooping over his face, his glossy brunette wig streaming as if in a breeze, his large sunglasses wobbling dangerously.

  He took the large hat off and flung it at Octavia angrily. “What was the point of all this,” he shouted dramatically, “if you’
re going to ruin it and let the culprits flee! What a debacle. I stuck my head out of the wall, and they are already gone!”

  He flew in a frenzy down the stairs, tearing Juliet’s clothes off and flinging them aside as he went. They heard the front door bang shut behind him.

  “Who the heck was he supposed to be?” demanded Octavia. “Why was he dressed as a woman?”

  “None of your business, Octavia,” said Felix, his arms crossed tightly over his chest.

  “You had better tell me right now,” she said, a strange glittering in her eyes that made her look more upset than Percy had ever seen her.

  As Octavia was a half vampire, she was not prone to flushing in anger or anything else. She was always milky pale. Percy had never seen the girl look upset before. She hadn’t thought her capable of such an emotion.

  “We’re busy, Octavia. And it’s not something that I can talk about,” said Felix.

  He looked despairingly at Percy. They both knew that the Sheedys were gone. Their plan had failed.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “She followed me from the meeting with Councilor Strick all the way here, and pounced on me just as I was going to come in by the back door. I tried to get her away from here, but she knew this was an Eldritch Council property and she…” He trailed off with a shrug, since the rest was obvious.

  “Don’t you talk to them as if I am not here,” snapped Octavia.

  He turned to her, looking furious. “How the hell did you follow me here anyway? I was careful. Did you…” He stiffened, seeming to realize something, and then patted his jacket pockets. He pulled out a copper penny and glared at it. “You put a tracker on me!”

  Octavia looked ashamed but defiant. “I wouldn’t have had to if you weren’t behaving like some criminal.”

  She reached for the penny quickly but he flung it aside. They glowered at each other.

  “I knew it!” he said. “I knew you made that meeting run over on purpose.”