“No, you haven’t,” She says. “But they’ll probably want to ask you questions about all the men you’ve been pictured with.” She raises her eyebrows. “I’ve done my best to clean up and can’t have you messing up my hard work.”
I gulp slowly, feeling a bit offended. I want to point out that it’s just been two guys and they weren’t complete strangers. It was Jeremy and Kevin. I’m sure she knows Jeremy. Somehow, I know that there’s no point in defending myself because she knows it’s only happened twice. She’s trying to make me feel bad and it’s working.
“It’s not your job to clean up my mess.” I tell her instead.
“No, but it’s my job to clean up Derek’s and, right now, that includes you, honey.”
I frown. “I’m sorry, what—?”
I don’t have time to finish my question because her phone begins to ring and she goes to find it in her purse, dismissing me. I look after her in disbelief as she leaves the room. She called me a mess and temporary in the same sentence. I’m a temporary mess to her. Just something she needs to clean after until Derek has had enough.
“Do you like this one?” Her assistant asks awkwardly.
I turn and see my reflection on the mirror. The dress is long with a slit on the right side that goes up my thigh. The straps are thin on my shoulders and it fits me perfectly around my waist. It’s beautiful. “I love it,” I say, feeling a little bummed now. I was more nervous than excited about going to the premiere tomorrow but the little excitement that I had is now gone.
“You look very good in it.” The assistant agrees.
I try to smile at her. “I’ll just go with this one. Can you help me take it off, please?”
She nods. “Yes, of course.” She reaches out to unzip my dress and I pull it off of me and reach for my robe.
“Have we decided?” Stella asks, walking back into the room.
“Yes, we’re going with this one,” Her assistant says as she hangs the dress in the clothing rack they brought.
“Excuse me,” I say, avoiding eye contact with Stella.
She reaches for my arm as I’m walking past her. “I hope you didn’t take any of it personal. It’s all just about keeping Derek’s good reputation.”
I try to smile at her. “Of course. Excuse me.”
She drops her hand and I walk past her and make my way out to the backyard. I need some fresh air. I know Stella might be saying the truth. It’s her job to make sure Derek’s image is intact and I’ve stained his reputation. Not intentionally, but still. It didn’t occur to me that someone—that Stella—was cleaning up after the scandals. Still, after what she said, it’s obvious that she doesn’t like me and thinks I’m just Derek’s temporary girlfriend. I think that’s what killed my mood the most.
I sit on the edge of the pool and dip my legs inside. It’s a beautiful day. We have some sun and it hits the water, making it glisten. I take my phone out and snap a picture. I scroll through my camera roll and smile at all the pictures I’ve taken of Derek in the past two days. He’s making goofy faces in some yet he still looks completely gorgeous. I look at a selfie of us smiling with our cheeks touching. I slide my finger across the screen to the next picture. It’s the same pose, except he’s kissing my cheek in this one. It might be my favorite one.
The door of his gym opens and he walks out shirtless, only wearing some shorts. He looks like he just got out of the shower. He usually showers right after his workout. He’s barefoot as he walks and talks to someone on the phone. He meets my gaze and winks at me. I smile then turn my head and look straight ahead at the water.
“Yeah,” He says into the phone as he stands next to me. “I’ll be there on Wednesday…yeah, I’m excited to start this too, man.” He chuckles at something. “Alright. Talk to you later.”
He sits down next to me close enough for our shoulders to touch. “Everything okay?” He asks turning to look at me.
I nod as I look down at my toes in the water. “Yeah.”
I have no intention of telling Derek about what happened with Stella. The last thing I want to cause is a disagreement between them. She’s his manager and agent. I’m sure she has his best interests in mind. I’ve convinced myself that she’s just looking after him and his reputation.
“Did you like any of the clothes Stella brought? It’s okay if you didn’t. I’ll ask her to bring more.”
This makes me smile. I turn to look at him and shake my head. “That’s not necessary. I found a dress.”
He grins. “Yeah?”
I laugh at his excitement. "I did. Thank you for having Stella do that for me.” I pause. “Has she been doing a lot of damage control after the pictures of me and Kevin came out?”
I’m sure all she has to do is come up with another story, something to distract the media from that. I’m sure it helps that Derek’s movie is about to come out. Stella’s job is already stressful and then there’s me adding more workload. I guess I understand her better now. Maybe she didn’t mean any malice and I’m just overthinking it.
Derek shrugs. “Damage control is in her job description.”
I bite my lip as I meet his gaze. “I’m sorry that I’ve been causing you problems and making her work more.”
“You have nothing to apologize for, Gin.” He chuckles. “That’s nothing compared to what I’ve made her clean up, trust me.” He nudges my shoulder with his playfully, making me smile. “You want to go for a swim?” He asks wiggling his eyebrows at me. I laugh and he stands up and takes off his shorts. I admire his sexy body as he stands there in his boxer briefs. How in the world did I get so lucky?
He reaches for my hand and pulls me up. “Let me help you,” He says grinning as he undoes the knot of the robe. I pull it off and it falls to the ground.
“We’re jumping.” He announces and I smile in anticipation. He grabs my hand and we jump into the pool.
We’re submerged into the water then we both swim up to the surface. I pull my hair back, away from my face and smile at Derek. He reaches for me and we kiss. His arm goes around my waist underwater.
He looks at me and grins. “I like the way your eyes look in the sun,” He says placing his thumb under my right eye soothingly. “They’re like honey.”
I smile and look away, sheepishly. It feels like this might be the perfect moment to talk about something I’ve been wanting to talk about with him. I want to tell him how I feel and I want to know what his feelings are towards me. I want us to be on the same page. It scares me to have this conversation but I know that we have to. I need him to open up to me and tell me about Sadie and his feelings towards her and towards me.
But I don’t want to ruin the mood, especially with the premiere being tomorrow. What if I don’t like his answers? I want to think that I’ll be strong enough to walk away. I just don’t know anymore. I care so much about Derek. I love being his girlfriend and being with him. I don’t want that to change. I realize that that’s the real reason I didn’t want to bring up what happened with Stella earlier. I don’t want conflict. I don’t want to face reality. At least not today. We can do it after the premiere. Yes. Once it’s over, I’ll ask Derek if we can talk about us.
I put my arms around his neck and hug him tightly, burying my face in his neck. I feel his hand on my lower back.
“Are you sure you’re alright, Gin?” He asks, his lips move against my shoulder.
I pull away and nod with a reassuring smile. “I’m just excited for tomorrow.”
He smiles. “So am I. I know I’m going to have the hottest date.”
I laugh. “Sure you are.”
He meets my gaze then leans in to kiss me. I press myself closer to him and wrap my legs around his waist, trying to hold on to another perfect moment with him. I close my eyes and kiss him hard as if it were our last, with the words ‘I love you’ hanging on the tip of my tongue.
42. our movie
We fly to LA early on Tuesday morning.
It’s so crazy to thi
nk about how much I’ve traveled since meeting Derek. Coming to New York for culinary school was my first real trip and now I’ve gotten to fly both in first class and on a private plane and I’ve gotten to visit different parts of California.
Derek will be flying to Miami from here tonight and I’ll be flying back to New York. The reminder makes me hold on to his hand tighter as we make our way into the hotel. It’s a little past nine in the morning and Stella and her team are going to be joining us around noon, so we only have a few hours to ourselves.
We order room service and watch a movie. He ends up falling asleep. We went to bed pretty late last night and I start to feel guilty considering he’ll start filming tomorrow. Then again, he didn’t exactly complain.
I go out to the balcony and talk to Natalie on the phone to pass the time. I’m still outside when Stella wakes Derek up with a knock on the door. He looks confused for a moment then hurries to open the door. Stella and about four other people walk in and begin to set themselves up in the room. They bring a clothing rack and other things to help us get ready.
As I sit on the chair in front of the mirror, I can’t believe that I’m getting my make-up done by actual an actual make-up artist. Someone works on my hair while I get my make-up done. They both carry on a conversation and include me which makes the time go by fast.
I don’t recognize myself when I look at myself in the mirror. My make-up is perfect. The contour is perfect, the eyeliner is perfect, the lashes are perfect, everything is balanced and it’s not too much. My hair looks so silky as it lays down on my back. I love the dress and heels. I just love how I look.
“Wow.”
I turn and smile at Derek. “Wow yourself,” I say as I take him in. He’s wearing a black tuxedo that fits him like a glove. He looks gorgeous.
“Hey, Stella, take a picture of us?” Derek asks handing Stella his phone.
Stella smiles as she grabs it. Derek comes over and stands next to me. He places his arm around my waist. He leans in and kisses my cheek. “So gorgeous.” He whispers in my ear. I smile shyly as Stella takes pictures of us.
I feel calm and not as nervous as a I thought I was going to be as they drive us to the theatre. I know I’ll be fine as long as Derek doesn’t leave my side. He makes me feel safe.
The moment the SUV stops by the curb, where the red carpet begins, everything begins feeling like a dream. Someone opens the door and Derek gets out then offers me his hand. I take it and look down at my feet as I get out of the truck. The last thing I want is to trip and fall.
“Okay, now I’m nervous,” I say as I stand next to Derek.
In front of us is a long, red carpet with eager fans on either side. There are photographers everywhere and some crowd around me and Derek as we try to walk forward.
“You’re fine.” He assures me with a grin on his handsome face. He doesn’t look frazzled at all. Of course this is a second nature to him.
I smile at him and nod, too nervous to even say anything.
“Come on, let’s do this.”
We begin walking on the red carpet. Derek is called over by the people on the side and he leans in to hug them and shake their hands and take pictures with them. All the girls squirm when they see Derek and it makes me feel even luckier to be the woman by his side today.
I wait for him a couple feet away with Stella. The crowd is a little overwhelming as they scream and put posters and pictures out for him to sign. He has a sharpie in his hand and goes on autographing everything it touches as he smiles and greets everyone. I watch as he takes selfies with him and shake their hands.
More actors and actresses begin to arrive and do the same things Derek does. There’s a lot of security. Each actor has their own bodyguard following close behind as they greet everyone.
This is so surreal. I feel so excited to be here and get to be at an actual movie premiere. There is music playing in the background and camera flashes everywhere. A couple feet ahead is a huge horizontal movie poster which is where all the stars are posing. There is a big crowd of photographers in front of it, flashing their cameras every second.
Now I understand the pressure celebrities must feel to always look your best. These cameras capture every perfection and every flaw.
“It’s amazing, isn’t it?”
I turn my head to the side and realize that Stella is gone. I see her speaking with a group of people behind me. Standing next to me is Sadie in all her glory. She’s wearing a silver dress that goes down mid-thigh showing off her perfect, tan, long legs. She’s taller than me in her six-inch heels. She looks gorgeous, of course. I can’t find a single flaw in the way she looks.
Of course I knew she was going to be here. I just didn’t think she would actually approach me. Why is she here when she should be with all her costars signing autographs and taking pictures?
“Yes, it is,” I finally say looking away.
She turns to look at me. “I love your dress.”
I smile as I look down at my dress. “Thank you. You look great.” I tell her, meaning it.
She smiles. “Did Derek ditch you? He tends to do that in these events.”
“No, he didn’t,” I say. “I decided to wait for him here. I didn’t want to be in the way.” I smile but my shoulders tense. Her voice is friendly but her eyes aren’t. I wonder what she wants. I’m her ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend. She doesn't have to be friendly to me. I really wish she would continue on walking.
“Derek was crazy to bring you here,” She says in a mocking tone. “I mean, look at you. You’re shaking. This is obviously not for you.”
Her words make me angry but I try to not show it. I know that’s what she probably wants. She wants to provoke me but with what goal? Does she want me to cause a scene? Embarrass Derek? Or is she trying to remind me that she’s a much better match for him?
“I’m okay,” I say forcing a smile on my face. “Thank you for your concern.”
The smile fades off her face for a second and then it’s back. “You’ve fallen for him, haven’t you?” She continues when I don’t say anything. “I wish I would’ve warned you sooner. I guess I didn’t think he would take it this far.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask and I’m glad my voice sounds composed because it feels like I’m about to lose it.
She stands in front of me and I hate it when I see pity in her eyes. “You’re just a pastime to him, Savannah.”
Her words sting. A lot. Way more than I’d like. What does she know that I don’t?
“Why are you saying this?” I ask and I hate that I can hear the hurt in my voice.
“Because it’s true,” She says. “He hasn’t been honest with you. Has he told you why we broke up?” She asks and I shake my head once. She reaches out and touches a strand of my hair. “You should ask him.” She drops her hand and smiles. “Have a fun night. Hope you enjoy our movie.”
She walks away and her words ring inside my head.
He hasn’t been honest with you. Has he told you why we broke up?
I watch as she walks past Derek. He looks at her then looks at me. She says something to him and then keeps walking.
I take a deep breath as he approaches me.
It’s not the time. It’s not the place. Not the time. Not the place.
“Is everything okay?” He asks and I know that he’s talking about Sadie.
I smile and nod. “Yes.”
He smiles then reaches for my hand. “Let’s go take some pictures.”
I try my best to push my conversation with Sadie out of my head. I fail. Her words keep repeating in my head and as I stand next to Derek in front of the movie poster and face all the cameras in front of us, I wonder what he’s hiding. What did Sadie mean? Why did they break up? Is she right? Am I just a pastime to him? Does he still have feelings for her?
I know I should’ve brought this up with him much sooner. It’s my fault for not wanting to face reality. I’ve lived in this fantasy world where everything
is perfect because I’ve fallen for him, but that’s not real life. Sadie exists and I need to know how serious Derek is about us. I’m suddenly eager for the premiere to be over.
His co-stars, including Sadie, come over and I move to the sidelines while he takes pictures with them. I watch as the photographers request a picture of him and Sadie. He places his hand on her lower back and she puts her arm around his waist. They both look at the cameras and smile as they move their heads at each flash. I force myself to look away because they look so perfect together.
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