Fighting Greed

by Miller, Jennifer

  On some level I know he keeps talking to me and I’m not responding, but it’s taking all I have just to concentrate on not letting the darkness hovering around the edges of my vision claim me. I think I say something else – I’m not sure. I give in to the darkness.

  I watched him sleep for hours. Soft lashes against his cheeks, lips pursed, hands tucked under his chin and he still has the most adorable chubby baby cheeks.

  When I was released from the hospital I had Jax rush me to my place so I could change and shower but then the only thing on my mind was Ryan.

  When we arrived at Jax’s, Ryan was already in bed, so I sat next to it and watched him. The whole time I just kept thinking about how I helped create this beautiful child and had had no idea.

  Anger and bitterness were swirling inside of me like a festering sore wanting to take over me. I held them at bay for as long as I could, but then I left the room and asked Jax to take me to the gym.

  He argued, but I insisted. I needed to work out some anger.

  So I gloved up and punched the bag while Jax looked on worriedly until I felt physically exhausted but mentally and emotionally a bit better. I knew I needed to let out how I felt so that I could take the first steps toward moving forward now knowing about Ryan. I realized that establishing a relationship with my son as being more important than holding onto anger. The energy used for such anger is misplaced and wasted. There is nothing that could change past events or decisions. He’s in my life and I know the truth now. So, it’s time I think about next steps.

  As I lay in bed that night, the multitude of next step choices bombarded my mind. All of my specific next steps were unclear, but I fell asleep determined to do right by Ryan - and everyone else- to the best of my ability. This was not a time to allow selfishness to creep in.

  The next morning, I was up before everyone else and made breakfast. When Ryan came into the kitchen groggy, hair all over the place and wearing his cute zoo animal pajamas, he looked sad when he looked around the room, finally asking me, “Where’s my mommy?”

  “She’ll be here when she can, champ, okay? Until then, how about pancakes? Do you like them?”

  He nods and a smile grace’s his lips, “Yes, with syrup.”

  I get him set up at the table and serve him and everyone else as they come into the kitchen. Ryan and I are having a fascinating conversation about his favorite animals and reliving our zoo trip when my phone starts buzzing on the tabletop next to me.

  Glancing at it I see Sutton’s face which immediately makes me frown. Of course she’s going to call about Ryan and want to see him, but part of me feels immediate anger at her wanting to take him away from me already.

  Intending to ignore it, I look at Ryan and begin to ask him if he’s ever seen a video of a giraffe eating leaves and how long their tongues are when Ryan sees my phone.

  “That’s mommy!”

  Looking at the smile on his face and his hands reaching for the phone, I pluck if off the table before he can and swipe the screen to answer it while quickly moving away from the table.

  “Look, Sutton. I know you want to see and talk about Ryan, but can I have a little more time this morning? Please?” I grit out even though it pains me a little to do so.

  All I hear in return is a wheezing sound.

  “Sutton?” She still doesn’t talk but I can hear her breaths, “Sutton, answer me,” I demand not interested in playing games.

  She breathes harshly and something about the sound makes my heart stop in my chest. “H-h-help me.”

  “Sutton?” I question in confusion. “What’s wrong?”

  “Please. Help.”

  She coughs wetly and I clench the phone in my hand. Seeing my alarmed expression, Jax is to my side in a second with a questioning look on his face.

  “Sutton? Talk to me. What’s wrong?”

  Jax grabs his keys and gestures to Rowan that we’re going to leave. With a conflicted look at Ryan, Rowan gestures that she’ll take care of him. Turning, I race to the door with Jax.

  “I’m on my way, baby,” I feel dread rise in my chest and I’m choked with fear. “I’m on my way. Can you hear me? Stay on the phone with me, okay? Don’t hang up.”

  Looking at Jax desperately, he’s already called 9-1-1 and when they answer I give them Sutton’s address.

  “You hear that, cupcake? We’re on our way and the paramedics are too. Did you hear that?”

  There’s still nothing.

  The air in my lungs seizes.

  “Where are you hurt? Can you tell me?”

  I put the phone on speakerphone so Jax can hear. He’s got his own phone to his ear again and I’m not sure who he’s calling, I’m so focused on getting Sutton to talk to me.

  Still nothing.

  My eyes look frantically to Jax’s and he steps down on the gas harder.

  Suddenly she coughs, it sounds wet and tears burn my eyes. “Sutton? Sutton! Talk to me baby, please!”

  “Hurts,” she says then makes a sound that’s indecipherable – almost a keening.

  “We’re almost there. You hang in there for me, okay? Sutton?”

  She doesn’t respond and a feeling of helplessness washes over me.

  “It’s okay. You just listen to the sound of my voice, okay? Don’t fall asleep though, okay? Just listen to me.” She makes a wheezing noise again, the sound ripping through me.

  “I know we have a lot to talk about, and I’m not saying I’m not still mad, but Sutton I love you. I don’t know when it happened exactly. Maybe it was when we were in rehab and we would spend evenings watching stupid movies, sharing candy and talking about stupid things. Things like why octopus have eight arms or what it would be like to skydive. Those days were some of the hardest of my life, yours too, but somehow we were put together and we helped each other through. Yeah, maybe I fell in love with you then,” I say but she still doesn’t speak, but I can hear her breathing.

  “Maybe it was when we literally smacked into each other at the gym, or when I was showing you how to do exercises with hand weights. Or, it could have been when you opened the door when I picked you up for Tyson and Sydney’s engagement party. God, you looked so beautiful. You are beautiful. Yes, I’m mad, I’m so fucking mad at you, but part of the reason is because I love you so damn much. We will work this out. Do you hear me? Sutton?”

  “L-l-love,” she manages to say and I almost cry in relief.

  Jax whips his car up to the gated community and we get there right behind the ambulance and a police car.

  “We’re here, cupcake. Do you hear me? Can you hear the sirens? We’re right behind them. I’ll be there… to you… in just a minute, okay?”

  She’s quiet again and I’m so terrified it hurts.

  Jax parks the car and I’m out before it completely stops moving. Running up to the door, Jax is right behind me and since the paramedics are taking out a gurney, Jax and I beat them to the door. Running up to her apartment I try the door to find it locked.

  “Freeze!” a policeman says from behind us.

  “Seriously? You just saw us run up here, you know we have nothing to do with whatever is going on in there,” Jax says.

  I hold up the phone, “This is my girlfriend’s place. She called me needing help. We,” I gesture to Jax and myself, “are the ones who called you. So sorry, you’ll have to shoot me, but we’re about to bust this door open.”

  He nods, “Fine, but you have to stay at the door until we clear the scene. If you can’t, you’ll be escorted out.”

  Jax and I nod. The cops partner holds our gazes and they both move to behind us. “Once you kick down the door, move to the side so we can enter.”

  “Got it,” Jax says.

  “Ready?” I ask Jax sparing him a quick glance.

  “Ready,” he says and then counts to three before we both kick the door open then move to the side. The cops dart in and look around and start clearing room after room.

  Nothing could have prepared me
for the sight before me. Remaining still like directed is almost impossible.

  “Oh my god,” Jax says in horror.

  There’s broken furniture, toppled and broken items and glass all over the floor. The first thought that enters my mind is that it looks like a crime scene. The second thought is that there is so much blood and my third is that my girl is lying in the center of it.

  Heart seizing so tight, as soon as we are given the okay, I run to her, not giving a shit that I’m kneeling in glass to reach her. On some level I realize there’s a body next to her, but I’m too focused on her to give it any attention. All I care about is her.

  “Sutton?” I say her name, tears flowing down my face.

  She’s swollen beyond recognition and her face is already black and blue. Blood is pooled underneath her and I want to touch her so desperately, want to pick her up and hold her to me but am afraid to touch her anywhere.

  When her bright green eyes open to slits and look at the ceiling before finally settling on me, I release a sob. Jax is next to me, a strong presence letting me know he’s got my back.

  “Sutton, I’m here.”

  She tries to move her arm like she’s reaching for me. I take it and at this point the paramedics are inside the apartment and are yelling at me not to touch or move her. As one approaches me, I vaguely see the shadow of the other checking the other body in the room, but he quickly gives his attention to Sutton as well. I take her hand hoping it calms her.

  “Don’t move, baby, okay? Don’t move.”

  “Sir, we need you to move out of the way.”

  “No.”

  “We need to assess her injuries. We need you to get out of the way so we can get to her. You need to let her go.”

  “No.”

  “Zane, you need to let go of her,” Jax says with a hand on my shoulder. “We’ll stay right here next to her, but you need to move so they can look her over.” He pulls on my shoulder and for some reason him telling me makes it easier to comply and I squeeze her hand once more before letting it go, then move back and to the top of her head, Jax next to me.

  “I’m right here, Sutton, okay? I’m right here.”

  “Hi there, Sutton,” a paramedic says. “I’m Eric. I need to look you over, okay? I need you to remain as still as possible.”

  While he’s talking, his partner is putting a neck brace around her neck to steady it. They place oxygen over her nose and mouth which seems to annoy her. Eric’s partner, I realize, is starting an IV and taking her vitals.

  I try to remain calm as they do their job. They find cuts small and deep all over her hands and wrap what they can. They assess the damage to her face and work together to turn her on her side so they can look at her back. She moans when they turn her and after assessing her back side, lift her robe to examine her abdomen. Large bruises have already formed in a few places. Seeing the glass embedded in her side and shoulder and all the other small places it’s managed to penetrate makes my stomach sour and fear turn my veins to ice. There’s so much blood. They move her onto a gurney and begin taking her to the ambulance. I immediately follow sparing a quick glance at the dead man on the floor. If he weren’t already dead, I‘d fucking kill him myself.

  They won’t let me in the ambulance since I am not her husband or relative – and say they need room to work. Jax and I run to his truck and when they leave, follow it the whole way to the hospital - the same one from which I was released last night.

  “This is my fault,” I tell Jax feeling pain radiate in my chest at my words. “All my fault.”

  “No, it isn’t.”

  “How can you say that? She told me. She told me Nico was blackmailing her. That he was abusive. I was so angry, I sent her away. I didn’t think about him going after her. I didn’t think.”

  “There’s no way you could have known. She had just told you that you fathered a child four years ago. That she kept it from you even after she saw you. It’s understandable you’d be angry and have things to work through. Do not take this on. Let’s focus on finding out her injuries, what we need to do to get her healed and where you go from there, okay?”

  I nod, but then choke, “Jax.”

  That’s it, just his name, but that’s all that’s needed.

  “I know. She’ll be okay. She has to be.”

  “I love her, Jax.”

  “So I heard,” he says referring to my phone call. “Plus, I already knew that.”

  “How did you know when I didn’t?”

  “Easy. You have the same look on your face and in your eyes that I get around Rowan.”

  “She has to be okay.”

  “She will be.”

  “I want to raise our son with her. I want to be with her, love her, heal her, fix all the broken parts.”

  “You will.”

  He says it so matter-of-fact that I want to believe him.

  When the squad pulls into the emergency room parking lot, they park so quickly the tires squeal. We run inside and I immediately ask where Sutton is at the ER information desk since she’s already been whisked away.

  “Are you family?”“She’s my family, yes. She’s the mother of my son,” I say choked up with emotion.

  She nods as if knowing it’s useless to argue with me. “Please have a seat in the waiting room. As soon as they stabilize her and the doctor sees her to determine the extent of her injuries, someone will be here to talk to you.”

  “I want to go to her now.”

  “I understand, but you can’t. Not yet. Please have a seat in the waiting room.”

  Jax is there and once again offering silent support, which is probably keeping me from raising

  holy hell. I want to, but I want them to treat and take care of Sutton more. I’m well aware of the fact there’s nothing I can do for her at the moment. Other than wait. And pray.

  I do both. And pace. A lot.

  Before long, Tyson and Sydney show up. They each sit down quietly, Jax fills them in and we wait.

  Ryder and Tessa walk into the emergency room carrying coffee for everyone. I take a cup and sip it, then set it down uninterested.

  Levi and Dylan, Cole and Tatum all show up too. All sit quietly, except me. I continue to pace even more quickly, anxious for any news. I go to the registration and triage desk a few times, but they tell me they have no news.

  “Zane?” Ryder says my name and my head flies up hoping to see a doctor, but it’s the cops from the scene that walk into the room.

  Walking over to them immediately the guys all follow me making the cops widen their eyes. “I thought I recognized you,” one says and now that I look at his nametag I see it says Officer Jenkins. “You’re Zane – ‘Insane’ Zane to be exact. That’s the Playboy, Hands of Stone, that’s-”

  “I get it, you’re a UFC fan and yes, you’re correct. Is there any information? Anything you’ve found out?”

  “We’re here to talk to Sutton when and if we can to find out what transpired at her residence,” the one whose nametag says Officer Ripley tells me.

  “Can you tell us what you know?” Officer Jenkins asks. “How did you know she was in trouble? You said she called you?”

  “Yes. She called me on the phone. All she said is that she needed help. It was difficult for her to talk so she didn’t say much.”

  “Do you know how she knows Nico Santiago?”

  Telling them what I can from what she’s told me, I watch as they take down notes.

  “We appreciate you sharing what you know.”

  Nodding, I return to my seat and continue waiting for information.

  Watching the second hand move on the large clock on the wall becomes more than I can take and I start pacing again. Approximately thirty-two minutes later a doctor in green scrubs finally walks into the room.”

  “Sutton Reeves’ family?”

  Moving to him quickly, the guys all stay at my back and side.

  “Yes. Here.”

  “Hello, I’m Dr. Wu,” his fa
ce looks grim and I try to determine what he’s about to say.

  “I’m Zane,” I tell him.

  We follow him to a small private waiting room and he wastes no time filling us in.

  “After some x-rays and evaluation it’s clear that Sutton was beaten extensively. She’s sustained injuries to her face and skull, there’s a cut near her eye and her cheekbones and one eye socket are fractured. She likely sustained a concussion – we’ll be monitoring her for ongoing symptoms. There is bruising on her abdomen and side as well as extensive bruising around her neck where it appears she may have been choked. An x-ray shows two rib fractures. It’s likely she has some internal organ bruising but likely no other internal organ damage, though we will watch closely over the next couple of days for signs of that. She had some glass shards that created deep cuts over her hands, arms, legs and torso that we’ve removed, cleaned, sutured and bandaged. She has some shallow cuts and abrasions as well. She sustained two significant cuts from large pieces of glass embedded in the back of her shoulder and her side. Fortunately, the glass that pierced through her side missed hitting internal organs. However, she’s lost a lot of blood from the injuries. Her side required thirty-two sutures, her shoulder, fourteen. It appears she put up a fight. Her fingernails are damaged and we collected significant skin samples from underneath which we will be giving to the police lab for forensics. She’ll likely have some nasty scars, be in some significant pain though we will give her medications for that, and have some resulting impact from the assault, but she’s physically expected to make a full recovery.”

  “Thank god,” I breathe a sigh of relief and feel some of the guys clap me on the back in relief and offering their support.

  “We’re administering IV fluids and her second blood transfusion at the moment. We’re keeping her on oxygen for a while and will continue to monitor her every 15 minutes while she’s in the emergency room. We’ll give her a third unit of blood when she gets admitted and then see what her hemoglobin and hematocrit are every six hours for a while to see if additional blood is warranted. We’ll give her pain medications through her IV, which will likely make her sleepy but she needs considerable rest at this time. I’ll advise that we keep her for 48 to 72 hours monitoring and evaluation to make sure she doesn’t have any additional complications. She was recently given morphine for pain, and is resting comfortably. She’ll likely be transferred to her room in the next hour. Overall, she’s a very lucky woman.”