by Mansi Negi
"Yes... and? That should scare me because?" I felt my eyebrows pulling in confusion.
"Because, he always gets what he wants... or in this case 'who' he wants." He stopped momentarily. "Even if..." he swallowed hard. "She doesn't want him. He's just not a good person." Jonas looked me in the eyes.1
"So, he's raped people?" I asked, my eyes wide.
"No, I don't think so... maybe, he's hurt people. He doesn't feel things the way we do Lyla... everything is a game to him... he's too fucked up. I don't know how to explain it." He dragged his hand through his hair.
"You think he'll hurt me?" I asked, before adding. "Tell me what he's done." I needed to know, I needed to understand, because I wasn't following at all.
"I can't Lyla." He finally said, blowing a breath through tight lips.2
"Why? Why can't you tell me anything Jonas?" I pleaded with him. This was beyond frustrating.
"Because... I don't want you to hate me." His words were soft and his head hung. Shame painted his features as I lifted his head and his eyes darted about the room to avoid my gaze.
"Jonas... I could never hate you." I said kissing his chin, then his nose.
"You don't know the things I've done." He finally looked me in the eyes, and so much pain radiated through.
"I can't talk to you about this. I can't do this." He said, shaking his head, like he was shaking away all of the terrible memories, and I watched his walls begin to come back up piece by piece.
"Stop, don't block me out Jonas. I need to know. I need to know what the hell is going on if it affects me." I put my hand over his heart, soothingly, hoping the gesture would put him at ease.
"I'll protect you Lyla. I've done it once. I'll do it again." His thumb brushed down the side of my face. Protect me from what though? I didn't even understand what I needed protection from. None of what he'd said had made sense to me.2
"What do you mean you've done it before... with who, Della?" I rolled my eyes, irritated that he wouldn't give me anything to go on... just that Tyler had hurt people. How? Physically? Emotionally? The whole thing was maddening.
"What?" He asked, his voice coming out shaky. He narrowed his brows. A confused look came across his face, then panic and realization that I knew more than he had realized.
"Yes, I know about Della, Jonas. Tyler told me... so was it her? Because that doesn't comfort me any, considering she is no longer alive. Was it Tyler who set the fire?" I asked, not caring about the promise I'd made to Tyler to not tell Jonas, because he, apparently, wanted to hurt me in some way.
Jonas stood there staring at my face in awe. He opened his mouth to speak several times, but closed it again. "Yes."
He breathed, looking terrified at what I'd just revealed. "It was Della." He stared at me, emotions running across his face at warp speed — hurt, anger, confusion, worry, anger, hatred, anger.
I remembered Tyler had told me that this subject was a trigger for Jonas and it seemed he was decidedly settling on being angry about me bringing it up.2
I decided to be angry too. Della, the child rapist was who Tyler had hurt? I didn't even have it in me to feel bad for her. Tyler had told me she got what she deserved and I didn't disagree.
"You shouldn't have protected her. She was a child molester Jonas." I said it sympathetically, but I felt the hate for her ring through in my tone.
"Shut your fucking mouth Delilah. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about." Jonas seethed. His chest was heaving rapidly. How dare he tell me to shut up. As if I didn't deserve answers. As if we hadn't been talking about my safety on the line.
"What Jonas? Do you still think you are in love with her?" I asked, partly because I needed to know how fucked up he still was and partly because I was beginning to feel like I should be more afraid of Jonas than Tyler, by the way he was acting.
Jonas, stepped back looking like I'd just slapped him in the face. "I'll always love Della..." he whispered. "But Della's dead...did Tyler tell you about that too?" He took a few more steps back. He looked wounded, and tears brimmed his lower eye lids.
I stepped closer to him, realizing I had crossed a line, but also glad that I had. I needed more information, especially now. Had Tyler had something to do with Della's death? Did he think I was in mortal danger from Tyler?
"No!" Jonas held out his hand as I took another step. "Stop!" He barked at me as though my drawing near to him were causing him some kind of pain.
He turned and all but ran for the stairs. He disappeared up them and I sat back on the couch, blown away at everything. I had no idea what in the actual fuck was going on.4
I took a few more drinks of the whiskey sitting on the coffee table, deciding I'd given Jonas enough time to calm down, I grabbed the bottle and made my way upstairs.
I smelled the slight hint of cigarette smoke as soon as I hit the bottom of the second stair case leading to Jonas' room.
I slowly ascended the stairs, listening to his quiet whimpering, as he silently sobbed in the chair he had set next to the window.
"Jonas." I whispered as I hit the last step and saw him there. Slouched in the chair one arm wrapping himself and the other holding a cigarette to his lips.
He took a long drag and let his arm unwrap his body and wipe his eyes dry.
"I'm sorry." He looked at me. "Do you know what my file says?" I shrugged my shoulders, having no idea.
"It says 'troubled youth' Lyla. They have no idea just how troubled I am. Neither do you. You should go away to college and stay as far away from me as possible." He said, looking at me seriously.
"You want to know what I've done?" He looked at me and his face was unreadable.
"It doesn't matter, not to me." I said stepping up to him and kissing his cheek gently.
"Yes, it does." He said shaking his head. "Della was a bet, a fucking bet." He rested his head on his hand in disgust.
"She was beautiful, you remind me of her a little, much younger, but you look similar. Any young teenage boy would have dreamed of bedding her. Tyler was no exception. I didn't know then how badly what had happened to him had fucked him up or I never would have agreed." Jonas choked back a sob.
"Agreed to what?" I asked wondering what he had gotten himself into.
"It started with little things, he would take her underwear or watch her shower. He slowly became obsessed, but I didn't know... he was a teenage boy, so when he told me he was going to try to sleep with her I laughed at him. He didn't stand a chance. She was our adoptive mother and a school teacher, she would never have gone for that. He bet me he would do it before me and I agreed to it." He looked at my face, embarrassed. I didn't judge him he was a child, a teenage boy for that matter.2
"She never should have slept with you." I said, disgusted.
"She never would have, she wasn't the one..." he pulled at his roots. "Della wasn't the horrible person you think she was." He shook his head and closed his eyes, starting again.
"Tyler wouldn't stop, he wouldn't leave her alone. He would sneak into her room at night and touch himself as she slept, he would follow her into the shower and lock the door.
He never raped her, but she was terrified of him. She didn't know what to do." He took the last puff of his cigarette, and put it out, looking out the window.
"Can I have a drink?" He asked. I obliged handing the bottle to him. He chugged a good amount of what was left and went on.
"I only started sleeping in Della's bed to protect her from my brother. I fell in love with her during that time. Eventually I told her about the bet, but I told her that the only way to stop Tyler was to sleep with me so that I would win. I believed what I said. I believed he would stop if there was a winner. She didn't want to, but I convinced her to do it... I even... fuck... I even told her that Tyler planned on reporting her for abuse to the school if she didn't sleep with one of us soon. She thought she would lose custody of Daniel. I didn't care that it was a lie. I was young and I wanted her more than anything I'd ever wanted. I was f
ucked up Lyla. I didn't realize there would be consequences and I truly believed if I won, it would stop Tyler and she could go back to life as normal." I swallowed hard.
Jonas had blackmailed her into a sexual relationship. He had lied to her and taken advantage of her love for her son, but he had also been a child who was doing the only thing he thought he could to save her.
It was fucked up, too fucked up to comprehend.3
"Why didn't she tell the police what Tyler was doing?" I asked and he looked at me, realizing the disgust in my tone.
"He threatened Daniel." He let out a sigh. "Do you hate me now Lyla?" He asked searching my face.
"No... I don't." I said softly and I didn't, maybe I should have with what he'd just told me... but I couldn't.
"You should. I hate myself. I hate what we did to her. She got pregnant. It was..." He covered his face.
"Tristan." I interrupted. He nodded, tears flowing freely down his face.1
"She didn't want her. She couldn't bring herself to even care for her at first. I had to... to do it all myself." He choked.
"It never stopped, it only got worse with Tyler. He was jealous and he was pissed... so pissed that I had beat him." He lit another cigarette and took a long drag.
"I really had hoped he would stop if I won the bet."
"So why did Tyler tell me she tied him up?" I asked, wondering if that had been a lie.
"She did, I helped her. It wasn't until the end. Until things had gotten so bad that she had quit her job. She was a prisoner in her own home. A prisoner to us. We only tied him up to keep him away from her at night." He looked at me once more, searching my face for any signs of hatred.
"So, the twins?" I questioned, "how did that happen?"
"They belong to Tyler... I don't know. He said he didn't rape her. I... I believe him... have you ever heard of Stockholm syndrome?" He asked and I nodded, the knot in my stomach growing with every word.
"He always gets what he wants." He emphasized his words from earlier.
"Did Tyler start the fire?" I asked, closing my eyes... had he killed her as well?
"No..." Jonas started to suck air as his chest bobbed and tears came more freely.
"You?" I asked, holding my breath, hoping that the man I loved wasn't a murderer.
"No..." He responded and I let loose the breath I'd been holding.
"We ruined her. Her life wasn't hers... she took it back in the only way she knew how.
I tried to get to her when I saw the smoke rolling out from under Daniel's door. I truly loved her. I didn't want to hurt her... but she had locked herself in the bedroom with Daniel before she..." he couldn't bring himself to say it.3
"Della started the fire." I said, wiping a tear that ran down my face at how sad she must have been to kill herself and her own son who she had been trying to protect all those years.1
"I'll never forgive myself Lyla... never... I hate myself, and I hate my brother, I swore I would never let him do it to anyone else. It's why we couldn't be separated."
"Jonas, what you did was wrong, but Tyler is to blame. You shouldn't have tricked her into sleeping with you... but you were trying to stop him... you can't blame yourself... not totally, you were a child." I hated what had happened, but there had to have been a way out for her. Taking her life couldn't have been the only way.
"Tyler told me he can't be with women though... is that a lie?" I asked, clearly it was if he had fathered children.
"Not totally... he shouldn't be... he was traumatized as a child Lyla... he isn't able to control the feelings that come with sexual experiences... he can be very violent." He swallowed, grabbing my hands.
"Now you know... and now you know why I couldn't tell you. If you hate me, I'll understand, I'll keep you safe until you leave for college... I promise you that, but if you don't want me anymore I won't bother you... I'll let you go." He looked down at our hands. I sat on his lap, lacing my fingers into his hair.
"I'll always want you Jonas. I love you." I said, bringing my lips to his and wrapping him in to a hug.
With you, forever
Jonas and I climbed into his bed, he never took his eyes off of mine.
I felt like he was in some form of shock after telling me everything he just had, or he was watching me to make sure I wasn't going to run.
"I can't believe you're still here Delilah." He admitted. Laying under the covers in the dark of his room, his eyes bore into me.
"I can't believe you really love me. Why?" He asked.
"Jonas... you can't honestly think you aren't lovable. I can't help but love you." I held his hands under the blanket.
"I love that you protect me, I love that you never gave up pursuing me, even when I made it next to impossible, I love the way my heart flutters when you touch me, the way I can't think about anyone else but you, the way everything around us disappears when we're together and nothing matters but you and I.
I love the way that even when I don't want it to my body just carries me toward you... I don't have any choice but to love you... I think I knew I would from the moment we met. Should I go on?" I asked.1
"Delilah..." he smiled.
"You can never leave me. I have never needed anyone the way I need you. I could never let you go now, not after knowing what it feels like to have you... promise me you won't disappear." He closed his eyes and squeezed my hands to his warm chest.
"I won't Jonas... I belong to you... and you to me... that's just how it is... how it's been since the first day, it won't change... nothing could change that." I meant that, if I still loved him this much after what he'd just told me, nothing could change the way I felt about him.
"You're everything to me Jonas." I leaned up and kissed him.
"I can't wait to make love to you Princess, I want to right now. Are you still on your monthly?" He questioned, pulling me into him.
"Yes, sorry... but I kind of wanted to wait until Saturday... it's your birthday, and I have a surprise for you." I smiled at him.
"Really?" He smiled back. "You're asking a lot of me right now."
He buried his head into the crook of my neck. "But I guess I can wait... don't you have a college visit Saturday?" He questioned.
"Yes, but I'll be back Saturday evening." I said, watching his eyes do an exaggerated roll as he looked up at me.
"I have to wait all day? I'm going to absolutely ravage you by then baby." He turned his face back to my neck and gave a little bite to the soft skin where neck met shoulder.
"Hey, hey now... I just got rid of your last marks Mr. Landry let’s not get crazy." I laughed. He followed suit.2
"Listen here Ms. Moore... I will mark you if I want to, you belong to me... your words, not mine... no take backs on that." He laughed again and lifted my shirt moving his face to just below my bra on my rib cage and sunk his teeth in before sucking my flesh there into his mouth, eliciting a moan from the back of my throat. Jonas growled.
"Stop making those sounds Princess, if you want me to wait until Saturday. You make a noise like that again and I'll be fucking you right here, on your rag or not. I don't give a shit, it doesn't bother me at all." He reached behind me and gave my butt a squeeze and then a little slap.
"I can't take your threats serious with that accent... you don't sound scary at all." I laughed at him.
"How about now?" He grabbed a handful of my hair, jolting my head forward to his face and smacked my ass again, hard this time, making me whimper.
"I'm going to fuck that sweet, tight, little, pussy, hard as fuck, if you keep turning me on purpose and making me wait." I felt my body come on fire at how hot he sounded saying such dirty things.
He brushed his lips against mine and thrust his erection between my legs pulling me into him at the same time.
"Don't stop, tell me all of the things you're going to do to me if I don't stop teasing you Jonas." My voice came out low and seductive. I was begging him for more.
My breathing grew ragged as he rocked h
imself against me. I felt like I wasn't even myself around Jonas. He turned me into a hormonal desperate mess all of the time.
Jonas' familiar growl sounded at my lips before he sucked them into his mouth, his tongue swirling against mine adding to my growing heat.1
"I could show you." He said running his hand over my bottom, before connecting another loud smack to it.
"Ouch." I whined, wiggling a bit against the hold he had on my hair.
"You love it, don't act like you don't." He moaned against my mouth. He wasn't wrong. I loved Jonas taking control, it was beyond hot.
"You want to know the ways I would fuck you? You're playing a dangerous game asking me that while you're laying in my bed. I could always fuck your sweet mouth again. Your lips were made to be around my cock Lyla." He flipped me around and grabbed my hip and the base of my neck grinding himself against my bottom.
"I could fuck you from behind like you wanted me to yesterday." He slid his hand up my neck giving a little squeeze and pulling me back to whisper in my ear.
"Oh! you are dirty baby. I can tell you like that. I'm going to make you feel so good Saturday. That pussy's going to be coming for me all night." He gave me one of his deep laughs as I reached down to stroke him under the blanket.
"I love what I can do to you with my words alone... imagine what I can do once I'm inside of you Lyla." His body pumped against my hand and he stiffened a little.
"What? What's wrong?" I rolled over to face him.
"I want to wait, I want to wait until Saturday, I feel like it's not fair for you to get me off again when I can't do anything for you." He said, causing me to sigh.
"Fine." I said, pumping him once more and pulling my hand away.
"But I don't mind, I was going to use my mouth, but if you don't want to..." I smiled at him. An evil grin spread over his face as he grasped my hair and pushed my head beneath the blanket.
"Never mind, if you want to put those lips to work on me, I'll never turn you down." He laughed and loosed himself from his boxers.
I woke to the sound of the doorbell. My head ached from the alcohol I had consumed the night before. "Ugh, what time is it?" I asked, looking over to see the bed beside me empty.