To Be His Lady: A Regency Romance (Finding Forever Love)

by Diana DeHaven

  Trudy stood in the doorway with a smile on her young face and she said, “Pardon the interruption, Miss Alice, but Miss Emma, His Grace, and Lord Harrison are waiting for you on the terrace.”

  “I must have slept longer than I thought,” Alice muttered and only then noticed her disheveled hair. “Trudy, have you ever assisted Miss Emma with her hair?”

  “Of course, Miss Alice. Shall I assist you now?”

  “I would appreciate that very much.”

  “Sit, and I will help you,” Trudy said with a smile.

  Alice was rather surprised at how skilfully Trudy brushed her hair and pinned the tendrils on her head in an elegant style.

  “Do you like it, Miss Alice?”

  “I adore it, Trudy. Thank you.”

  “You are most welcome, Miss Alice. Miss Emma asked me to assist you with anything you needed, and I gladly agreed.”

  “Thank you, Trudy. You are exceptional,” Alice said with a smile and stood from the dressing table bench.

  She left her room, made her way down the stairwell and as she approached the terrace, she saw Lord Harrison through the glass window. He looked somewhat different. He smiled and it appeared that he and the Duke were having a rather spirited discussion, and Alice felt as if she would intrude if she stepped out onto the terrace at that very moment.

  Unfortunately, Emma spotted her and waved her over. Alice inhaled sharply through her mouth and stepped outside. “Alice, you are here.”

  “Indeed I am,” Alice said with a smile.

  “Good afternoon, Miss Alice,” Lord Harrison said and stood up, which surprised not only her, but everyone at the table.

  “My Lord,” she said, without a shred of emotion on her face, as he pulled out a chair for her. “Thank you,” she said slowly as she sat beside Emma.

  Alice watched as Emma leaned in closer to the Duke and whispered, “What did you say to him?”

  “Nothing he did not already know,” the Duke whispered in return.

  “How was your day, Miss Alice?” Lord Harrison asked and Alice glanced at him as if he was insane.

  He raised his eyebrows expectantly and she pouted briefly.

  “It was eventful. Emma’s wedding gown is truly magnificent,” she answered, looking at Lord Harrison.

  “Her Grace’s seamstress is a true artist. I had never seen such delicate stitching in my entire life.” Emma added.

  “I could certainly recreate it if I wanted to,” Alice pointed out.

  “I am certain of that as well, my dearest Alice. You are truly talented. Your mother taught you well,” Emma said with a smile.

  Alice shrugged modestly and she and Emma giggled.

  During the entire lunch, Lord Harrison was indeed a changed man. Alice was not certain what the Duke had said to him to encourage Lord Harrison to behave like the perfect gentlemen, but it bothered her immensely. Not only did he seem like the perfect man, but it also made it extremely difficult to despise him any longer.

  There were several moments where Alice envisioned herself in his arms, where he kissed her lovingly and told her he loved her in his baritone voice. This made her heart pound in her chest, and she was convinced Lord Harrison, as well as the entire populace of Suffolk were able to hear it.

  After lunch, she excused herself as she needed a few moments alone to calm herself. She walked down the stone steps to the brick path that led to the estate gardens and made her way along the path. The air was fresh, and it calmed her as she walked slowly, glancing at the hedges, the flowers that had lost their bloom, the trees that were losing their leaves.

  “Miss Alice?”

  She stopped abruptly and glanced over her shoulder. Lord Harrison quickly approached her and her efforts to lower her heart rate were undone.

  “My Lord,” she nodded, with a polite smile.

  “I apologize for interrupting your stroll.”

  “There is no need. I simply needed a few moments to myself. Is something the matter?”

  “No, not at all. I simply wanted to ask if I could join you,” he said and glanced at her.

  “Join me for a stroll along the gardens?” she asked.

  “Indeed.”

  “If you have nothing better to do with your time,” she shrugged.

  “I cannot think of anything better than taking a stroll with you,” he answered gallantly.

  Alice’s heart continued to pound in her chest as Lord Harrison walked perfectly in sync with her.

  “Why?” she asked.

  “Why what?”

  “Why are you doing this?”

  “Can I not accompany you through the gardens?” he asked, and Alice could not determine whether he was genuinely taken aback by her question, or whether he was pretending to be. Of course, she had every right to be suspicious of his motives, given their short history.

  “Indeed you can, My Lord, but that was not what I meant.”

  “What did you mean?” he asked.

  “I think you know.”

  He smiled briefly and nodded as he gazed around the garden. “It has been brought to my attention that I was not being a very kind person. I hurt you with the things I said, and it was not the proper way to behave.”

  “Who brought this to your attention?” she asked.

  “I did.”

  She glanced at him with a frown and cocked her head.

  “You deserve to be treated with respect.” Lord Harrison continued.

  “The Duke apprehended you, did he not?”

  Lord Harrison chuckled with amusement and shook his head. “He apprehended me but not regarding this.”

  “Then what-”

  “It does not matter. All that matters is that you forgive me for my horrendous behaviour so we can move forward.”

  “That would be lovely. I cannot stand how tense it has become at the estate. I empathize with Emma. I cannot even imagine what she feels with the wedding less than a fortnight away. She must be beside herself.”

  “You sound more frantic than she is,” he smirked.

  “My oldest and dearest friend is getting married to the man of her dreams. I am not frantic, I am envious.”

  “Why?”

  She frowned at him and retorted, “I am not certain if you noticed but I do not have a duke running after me.”

  “Perhaps you should stop looking for a duke.”

  “What on Earth is that supposed to mean?” she asked.

  “I mean that you do not have to marry a duke to be happy. The right man does not even need to have a title.”

  “I do not believe that I meant only dukes. I spoke in general.”

  “Ah,” Lord Harrison murmured.

  “Why are you concerned about who I marry, My Lord?”

  “I am not, but whomever does marry you, I do hope he has the tenacity to deal with you,” he answered with a wink, “and I do mean that in the best possible way.”

  Alice glanced at him and noticed his eyes were sparkling in the late afternoon sunlight. Time slowed down as she stared into his eyes and she smiled slightly.

  “Have I told you how beautiful you look today?”

  “No, you have not,” she answered.

  “You did something different with your hair.”

  “Good of you to notice. Trudy helped tame these tresses after I fell asleep for a while.”

  Lord Harrison smiled in amusement and licked his lips. “Did she now?”

  Alice nodded slowly and the sound of her fast beating heart drummed in her ears as Lord Harrison lightly swept a loose tendril of hair off her face.

  “Beautiful.”

  She smiled again and bit her bottom lip. “My lord, I-.”

  He brought his hand up to her face and pressed his finger against her lips. “Would you like to go somewhere with me?”

  “I wish I could,” she answered breathlessly. “I must get back to Emma.”

  “Surely she can survive one night without you.”

  “One night?”

  Lor
d Harrison raised his eyebrows expectantly and looked at Alice.

  “As much as I want to, My Lord, and believe me, I want to, tonight is not a good night.”

  “Very well,” he said and stepped away.

  “Thank you for the company,” she said, briefly touching his arm and walked back in the direction of Rivenhall. She caught her breath, not certain if what she had experienced a few moments ago had been real or not and she turned to Lord Harrison. “Why now?”

  He frowned at her and cocked his head.

  “Why are acting like this now? You had over a month to do so, but only chose to right at this moment,” she said.

  “I realized I was wrong.”

  “About me?”

  “No, I was right about you. I was wrong about myself.”

  Alice’s jaw dropped slightly but she was unable to answer him. For the first time in her life, she was rendered speechless.

  “Have a good evening, Miss Alice,” he said eventually.

  “And you, My Lord,” she said with a slight nod and turned back to Rivenhall, attempting to steady herself. Never in her life had she imagined Lord Harrison would say the things he had, and she was not certain how to react. She entered Rivenhall in a daze and smiled dreamily as Emma approached her.

  “Are you alright, Alice?”

  “Indeed.”

  “Where have you been?”

  “I took a stroll in the garden. I needed a bit of quiet to clear my head, and find a bit of calm,” Alice answered.

  “It seems like a stroll was just what you needed, my dear friend,” Emma smiled.

  “Indeed it was.”

  “Will you help me with something, Alice?”

  “Of course.”

  “Wonderful. I could use your advice,” Emma smiled and took her hand, leading her to the parlour.

  *****

  It was after midnight when Lord Harrison closed the book of sonnets he was reading and gazed at the candle which had almost reached its end. The Duke had asked him to say a few words at the reception of the wedding, and since Lord Harrison had never been in love before, and could not speak of experience, he turned to the only other source he could think of -- sonnets that described love and passion.

  He placed the book on the low table beside his wingback chair and sat upright. His eyes burned but rubbing them seemed to ease the fire. He heard the floorboards creak in the hallway outside his door and frowned. He was under the impression he was the only person who was still awake at this hour as he stood from his chair. He walked to the door and opened it slightly, peeking into the dark hallway. He was uncertain why he felt as paranoid and anxious as he did, as he had roamed the dark hallways of Rivenhall for as long as he could remember. Then he opened the door entirely and stepped into the hallway.

  “My Lord,” a voice said beside him and he whirled around, clearly startled.

  “Trudy, my goodness. You nearly killed me.”

  “Your heart is as strong as it is tenacious, My Lord,” she whispered seductively.

  “Not quite,” he muttered and glanced at her. “What are you doing here?”

  “I thought we could continue where we left off, before the Duke interrupted us,” she said as she approached him.

  He backed away from her, but this allowed her to lightly direct him back into his chambers and onto his bed. She closed the door and glanced at him.

  “You look tired, my lord.”

  “I am.”

  “I can surely fix that,” she said and approached him, loosening the ribbons on the front of her dress.

  “Trudy...”

  “Hush, my lord,” she instructed as she slipped off her dress.

  “Trudy, I do not think-”

  “Stop thinking so much.”

  “You do not understand. This is not right.”

  She cocked her head and nodded. “You are right, My Lord. This is not at all right. Allow me to rectify the situation,” she whispered as she ran her fingers along his chest and loosened his belt.

  “Trudy, no,” he warned.

  As her hands ran up his chest, he grabbed her wrists and pulled her to her feet.

  “Rough handle me, Lord Harrison.”

  “Trudy, stop this. Now.”

  “Why?” she asked playfully.

  “I am serious,” he said in a stern voice.

  Her playful smile faded, and she crossed her arms, covering her semi-exposed breasts.

  Lord Harrison fastened his belt. “I am sorry, Trudy, but I cannot do this.”

  “What? Why?”

  “I just cannot.”

  “Shall I come back tomorrow?” she suggested.

  “No,” he said and held his hands up. “That was not what I meant.”

  “What do you mean?”

  He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I cannot do this any longer, Trudy. We cannot see each other again.”

  “That will be rather difficult. You live here, I work here,” she pointed out.

  “We cannot do this again, not tonight, not ever.”

  “Is this because His Grace walked in on us,” she asked.

  “Partly yes.”

  “And the other part?”

  “Trudy, please do not push this.”

  “It is because of her, is it not?”

  “I do not know what you speak of, or who you speak of.”

  “Miss Alice,” Trudy said bitterly. “I saw you with her in the garden. You stood very close to her. You looked at her the way you used to look at me.”

  “Trudy, please do not do this.”

  “Do what? I do not understand how we can go from being in love-”

  “I was never in love with you, Trudy,” Lord Harrison said flatly. “That was not our arrangement.”

  “I did not think you were serious about that, My Lord.”

  “I was.”

  Tears filled her eyes and she nodded. “That makes perfect sense. I am simply a chambermaid to you, nothing more. The others were right about you. They warned me but I did not listen.”

  Lord Harrison lowered his gaze and said nothing in reply. There was nothing left to say. Nothing helpful at least.

  Tears ran down her cheeks as she rushed out of his chambers and slammed the door behind her, leaving him alone with his guilt.

  Trudy had agreed to midnight meetings on her own accord, and she was well aware that he had no interest in falling in love or becoming emotionally dependant on anyone else. That had been their agreement, but somehow along the way, Trudy had, as any normal human being would, developed feelings for Lord Harrison, and had expected him to develop those same feelings for her.

  She did not understand that to him their arrangement had been purely physical. He had no interest in her apart from her body, and his own satiation. He almost felt sorry for the poor girl, but deep down, a different feeling filled him. He had ended their arrangement as he felt it was his duty to, because deep down he was in love with Miss Alice.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Miss Alice paced around her room, unable to fall asleep. She had spent the entire night deliberating in her mind whether she should go to Lord Harrison’s chambers. Thus far, she had decided not to. She ran her fingers through her hair and sighed in frustration. Ever since their close encounter in the garden the previous day, Alice could not stop thinking about him. He had an effect on her that she could not deny, and she would only punish herself if she did not go to him.

  “I must,” she whispered courageously, well aware that courage would soon fade, and she would be a whimpering woman on her bed. She was not weak, but Lord Harrison made her feel things that made her feel this way. She closed her eyes briefly, inhaling deeply and nodded.

  “I cannot let this opportunity slip through my fingers,” she whispered.

  She inhaled once more, opened her door and made her way to Lord Harrison’s chambers.

  She hesitated in front of his door, attempting to calm herself one last time, and knocked on his door.

 
The door flung open and he stared at her with wide eyes.