Four Steps

by Wendy Hudson

  Lori cracked up. “You’re a nut.”

  “It’s been said once or twice.”

  “I’m going now.”

  “Okay, goodnight, Lori. Sleep well.”

  “Goodnight, Alex. Wish Frank goodnight, as well.”

  “I will. Oh and one other thing, Lori.”

  “Yes?”

  “I’m excited about seeing you again,” she said softly.

  “Me too.” She could sense Lori’s smile.

  “Sweet dreams, Alex.”

  Chapter 13

  He could hear keys fumbling in the lock before the front door finally opened, crashing and bouncing violently against the hallway wall. Another bang told him it had been kicked shut with the heel of a heavy boot.

  It was a pattern of noise that he recognised and was soon followed by the usual cursing as his son made his way along the corridor to the downstairs toilet. He flinched at every sound as he sat cowering in his bed.

  His son was home. And he was drunk.

  After switching off his bedside light, he slid down under the covers, hoping his bedroom door would remain locked.

  Since he’d tried to find the girl again, but instead had been caught and brought home by a neighbour to his grateful son, he had lived upstairs. He was only allowed out when his son was home. The cloud passed often enough for him to realise his son was keeping him locked up. He didn’t want him finding the girl, and didn’t want nosey neighbours meddling.

  He heard footsteps thumping up the stairs and braced himself for the onslaught. It was his fault for bringing her up. He should have forgotten her like everything else.

  That’s what his son would shout.

  The footsteps paused and he held his breath. Watching as the shadow flickered under his door, he took his glasses off. It was better if he couldn’t see his face.

  The doorknob jostled as a clumsy hand gripped it. It didn’t turn. Instead, a half-hearted thump rattled the door and the footsteps continued down the corridor.

  He breathed again raggedly and lay shaking.

  Closing his eyes, he listened to the riot of his son banging around in his room, and willed sleep to come.

  He had a plan and needed to rest.

  He needed to be able to remember.

  Chapter 14

  Lori had never wished time away so much in her life. Despite the nerves and trepidation, she was excited about the weekend and seeing Alex.

  Andrew had called every day, each message pretty much the same.

  “How can you treat me like this?”

  “I can’t believe you’re doing this.”

  “You’ll regret this, Lori.”

  There was no, “how are you?” No understanding or consideration that she might just need some time. It was still on his terms, him demanding answers because he needed them.

  Well, Lori wasn’t ready to answer his questions. She needed to answer her own first. Then maybe she could give him the explanation he wanted. She had tapped off a text asking him to stop, telling him she would be in touch when she was ready to talk and harassing her wouldn’t hurry that moment up. He hadn’t replied.

  Alex had also been in touch every day, which she had welcomed. Lori had texted her on Tuesday to let her know she would leave at lunchtime Friday and should arrive by dinnertime. Her text response had been enthusiastic, making Lori smile.

  Whoop! I’ll get Frank to cook! X

  Since then, they’d exchanged numerous texts and the odd cheeky e-mail at work. Alex had sent her a video of Pedro the goat chasing Frank, catching her by surprise and making her spray coffee all over her desk. Lori replied with a picture of the soaked stack of papers in front of her, thanking her for the light relief.

  It was Thursday night and she had just crawled into bed after packing, unpacking, and repacking at least three times before settling on what to take. She’d shaken her head more than once, acknowledging that she wanted to look her best for Alex, and that was why something she did on an almost weekly basis was suddenly so hard.

  Sleep had almost taken her when the shrill sound of her house phone broke the spell. She glanced at the caller I.D as she reached for the extension on her bedside table to answer it. A foreign dialling code flashed up. “Hey, dad, how are you?”

  “Lori! I’m good thanks, sweetheart. Glad you answered. I know it must be late. How are you?”

  She sighed, knowing exactly why he had called. “I’m fine dad, busy with work, the usual. Where are you?”

  “Berlin. Just back from dinner, but, anyway, that’s not important. Your relationship of seven years ends and you’re fine?”

  “Wow, you can’t remember my birthday but you know how many years I was with Andrew? I smell a rat, Dad. Get to the point.”

  “Okay, okay. I won’t pretend. You see right through me every time. Andrew called me. He’s devastated, Lori. Says you won’t even return his calls. What’s going on?”

  Lori silently fumed. She couldn’t believe Andrew had the gall to phone her dad. In case of an emergency, she had given him her father’s office number, which would redirect to his mobile phone wherever he was in the world. “I have nothing more to say to him at the moment. I’ve made my feelings perfectly clear and there’s no use hashing over it all. He won’t change my mind so what’s the point? I’d just end up frustrated and say things I know would hurt him more. So I’ve asked for space in the hope he’ll calm down in the meantime. Then we can talk, when I’m ready.”

  “So I’m assuming I can’t change your mind either then? His parents have been on the phone to me as well; they’re so upset. They love you and thought you were perfect together.”

  “Well, they’re wrong and clearly none of you really know us. He was suffocating me, Dad, I had to end it. I know it’s taken me a long time to realise he can’t offer me what I want and I’m truly sorry about that. Sorry I wasted both our time.”

  She genuinely was. She felt as if she’d given the majority of her twenties over to her career and a relationship with no future. She wasn’t about to continue that into her thirties and no amount of parentally induced guilt would change that.

  “So what? Handsome and successful isn’t enough for you? He’s a good bloke and he can take care of you.”

  “That’s what I used to think, but the Andrew I know now is a pretentious, self-centred arse and I already have one of those in my life. Besides, who says I need taking care of?

  Her dad chuckled. “That’s not a very nice thing to say about your brother. I’ll tell him you said that.”

  “You know fine well who I’m talking about and you know it isn’t him.” She laughed with him then, the tension broken. He knew better than to push her.

  Over the years he had tried to involve himself in her life, showing an interest in her career, friends, and relationship. Anytime he was passing through London, he made a point of having dinner with her and Andrew, or Stella when Andrew was busy.

  But it was so sporadic it seemed he was always behind with her life, never quite managing to be there when it mattered. It meant he tried to play the caring father card but knew he had no authority. She respected him and understood he had done what he thought best for them when their mum had died, but he was also as selfish as they came and knew it.

  “So when are you next in town?” she asked to change the subject. “I think we’re due a dinner.”

  “So that’s seriously it? You won’t even entertain the thought of getting back with him?”

  She took the same deadpan tone she always did when she was finished talking about something with him. “He wanted to name your potential first grandchild ‘Kettle’.”

  That did it.

  “Okay, moving on, then. I’m home in the next few weeks. I’ll e-mail you to confirm when exactly. Don’t even think about bringing that smart arse Stella with you though.” He laughed.

  “Ah, c’mon, you know you love her chat.” She loved the abuse Stella gave him, getting in digs on Lori’s behalf for his shoddy paren
ting skills.

  “Wait a minute,” he feigned shock. “Don’t tell me she’s finally got her claws into you? Is that why you split up with Andrew?”

  “Dad. For the last time, Stella is not a lesbian.”

  He scoffed as he always did at that statement. It was a running joke with them, one she hadn’t let Stella in on, knowing she would be relentless in making him pay for it. “All successful police women are lesbians, Lori. It doesn’t matter what country you’re in. Well, the ones I’ve met at least.”

  “Just because they’re good enough detectives to see through your bullshit and, therefore, know better than to sleep with you, doesn’t make them lesbians, Dad. You’re crude and you’re wrong and you know it. Anyway, what would be so wrong with it if she was?”

  She suddenly thought of Alex, panicking slightly at how he might respond. Although being okay with Stella being a lesbian was one thing, your own daughter was another. Oh God, where was her mind going? She needed to move away from this subject and fast.

  “Actually, don’t answer that, I know you too well. You’re bound to say something that’ll make me cringe like ‘it would be a waste because she’s so attractive’.”

  “Lori, how little you must think of me.”

  She groaned, his laugh telling her that was exactly what he had been thinking.

  “Anyway, I was in Scotland at the weekend, bagged myself another Munro.”

  “That’s my girl, when’s your next one planned?”

  “Well, I’m actually heading up again this weekend. I met a girl in the bothy I stayed in. Her name’s Alex and she’s invited me up for a bit of a get together at her farm. We might hit a hill on Sunday.” She tried to keep the excitement out of her voice, relaying it as if it was just a casual invite.

  “You two must have hit it off for her to invite you to her house? Be great for you to have some friends up there. Climbing in a group is always fun.”

  “Oh, you know Scottish folk are always friendly. No big deal. You’re right about having a group to climb with though. I do love the solitude but I’m not sure I’d like to be doing some of the more challenging mountains on my own.”

  “You’ll be traversing the Cuillin Ridge in no time,” he said, referring to the Black Cuillin mountains on the Isle of Skye. At twelve kilometres long, with eleven Munros and more than thirty summits requiring a technical climbing ability she hadn’t quite reached, most considered it to be the most challenging mountaineering journey in the whole of Britain.

  “One day, maybe we’ll even get to do it together. But, for now, I’m tired thinking about it.”

  “Okay, sweetheart. I’ll let you get to sleep. I miss you.”

  “Miss you too, Dad. Make sure you’re behaving and be careful. Goodnight.”

  “I’m always careful, but behaving is for boring people. Goodnight.”

  And with that, he was gone. Lori rolled on her side, and stared out through the blinds of the rear facing window. The sky was orange with light pollution, not a star to be seen. She willed sleep to return but, instead, it was Alex who took over her thoughts.

  The rest of the room faded around her as she imagined what the farm and her friends were like and wondered what she was doing right at that moment. The thoughts calmed her and with the daydream still in her head, she drifted off to sleep.

  Chapter 15

  Alex sipped her coffee while looking through a living room window as a red toy-like car sped down her driveway. She flinched each time the nose dipped, waiting for it to crumple under the impact, as it bumped and jolted with each pot hole it hit.

  She laughed to herself as she saw the silhouette of her best friend, Jess, being thrown around inside the car like a ragdoll. No sooner had the car skidded to a stop in a cloud of dust when the door was thrown open and Jess was bounding around to the side door and into the kitchen.

  “Alexandra Ryan, as I live and breathe!” She broke into a grin and threw her arms around Alex as if she hadn’t seen her in years. It had only been three weeks.

  “I swear you miss me more every time, Jess.” She laughed while returning her best friend’s squeeze.

  “I do, I do. It’s bad for my health, you know. In fact, if you were a real best friend, you would just let me move in, so I’d never have to miss you again.” She looked at Alex expectantly, clearly doing her best to keep a straight face.

  Alex took down a cup and poured her some of the freshly brewed coffee before eyeing her as if she was considering it. “Hmm, let me think about it.”

  Jess popped her on the shoulder. “I know you have no intention of thinking about it. Besides, as if I’d want to live all the way out here in the sticks. One of us has to have a social life to keep some excitement in our friendship.”

  “Ouch.” Alex rubbed her shoulder “And I don’t mean you beating me up.”

  “You know it’s true, so don’t pretend. Anyway, come on, which mountains have you been hiding up and why is this the first time I’m seeing you in three weeks?”

  Alex shrugged. “Oh, you know, just a few of the usual and one I haven’t been to in a while. But I’ll tell you about that later. I want to know about this excitement you speak of. What’s been happening in big, bad Glasgow city?”

  Jess hopped around, as usual unable to contain whatever gossip she had brought with her. “Oh my God, Alex, you should have been with us at Mint last Saturday.”

  Mint was the main lesbian and gay club in the city and Alex was pretty sure she didn’t want to be there. She’d done her time frequenting it, but for every half-decent date she’d been on, there had been ten absolutely terrible ones. She just didn’t believe a bar was the place she would meet who she was looking for. Although she had to admit to only ever being half-hearted in looking and quickly dismissed anyone with potential, much to Jess’s chagrin. “I highly doubt that. You know Mint and me spells disaster.”

  Jess rolled her eyes, then gulped back her coffee. “Oh, don’t be so negative, you’re just too picky.”

  Alex had always believed if she was meant to be with someone, it would happen; it didn’t need to be forced. She thought of Lori then and nerves settled in her stomach at the thought of her arriving in less than eight hours. She couldn’t believe she’d been so forward, inviting her up for the weekend already. But the invitation had felt natural, whatever it meant. Plus, Lori had been quick enough to say yes. Now she just had to tell Jess. “I know where this is going and I haven’t changed my mind. You are not setting me up on any more dates.”

  Jess huffed and crossed her arms. “There was only that one really bad one and, I mean seriously, how could I have possibly known she was going to start waving her moon cup around the restaurant bathroom on a first date…” She trailed off, her face contorting.

  The horrified look on Jess’s face said it all. Alex was sure her own mirrored it. They cracked up. Not a date to forget in a hurry.

  “Clearly ‘bad’ is set at different levels for us. What about the girl I lasted a week with who randomly said ‘pants’ and ‘socks’ all the time?”

  “Please, that was only when she opened a drawer. It was endearing. You could have lived with that.”

  “Okay, then the one obsessed with being German, fake accent and all.”

  “Och, c’mon, it was a phase. She hadn’t long come out and was having an identity crisis. You have to admit the accent was cute and she had good taste in music.”

  “Yeah, I suppose. Oh, wait, I’ve got it. What about the inventor? The one who kept suddenly inventing something new, and all through dinner she scribbled on napkins and then I’d have to tell her it already existed?”

  “Yeah okay, she was odd. But she dressed well and that one drawing you showed me did look like a cool umbrella.”

  Alex shook her head and gave up. “Listen, you. Finding one good quality might justify sleeping with someone on the first date in your book, but you should know by now that’s not me.”

  “Aye, I know. You’re all about that chemist
ry crap. So I guess you’re not interested in my latest potential then?”

  Alex glanced at the clock. “No, I’ve had plenty of potential fun thanks. Just give me the gossip from your weekend but talk and work at the same time. We’ve a lot to get organised for tomorrow night.” She topped up both their coffee mugs. “Let’s go get set up outside.”

  Chapter 16

  Lori almost missed the buzz of her phone as she tore along the motorway with the radio blaring. She hit the button for Bluetooth along with the radio volume, and there was a delay before her friend and colleague Adam’s deep voice vibrated through the speakers.

  “Lori? You there?” He shouted, making her wince.

  She adjusted the volume once the connection was made. “Yeah, I’m here, Adam. Didn’t you get my message? I’m on my way to Scotland.”

  “I got it but thought I’d try and catch you before you disappeared into the hills.”

  “Well, make it fast. I’m approaching the border and the signal normally goes around this point. Everything okay?”

  “Everything is fine. In fact, it’s more than fine. Guess what?”

  She detected rarely heard excitement in his voice. Adam was as easygoing as they came. She often joked he was probably a surfer or maybe a sloth in a previous life. Nothing was done fast or above anything more than a mellow tempo. The only time she’d seen him break a sweat was the odd time he had dragged her to the gym. “I don’t have time for guessing, and I told you the signal’s about to go.”

  “Okay, well how about you slow down then and give me a chance because you really want to hear this.”

  She smiled that he knew her well enough to know she was more than likely sitting at the speed limit in her haste to get to the hills. He didn’t need to know that’s not what she was speeding towards this weekend.

  She gave in and eased back on the accelerator. “Busted. I’ve taken it down to a Sunday driver’s fifty for you. Now don’t keep me in suspense.”

  He chuckled softly and Lori pictured him leaning back precariously on his desk chair with a bottle of some form of blended health drink in his hand. It was Friday and over the fifteen degrees he deemed hot enough to swap the office dress code for shorts, flip flops, and whatever T-shirt best showed off his abs. He got away with it because generally most people in the office, including the guys, liked checking him out, and a suit covered way too much.