by Wendy Hudson
She vied between missing Alex deeply, the thought of moving unbearable, but then the anger at being shut out bubbled over, and in her mind she was telling Alex to go fuck herself, while resolutely telling herself she was moving to New York.
Then she would imagine never seeing Alex again, and the tears would come. It was a pattern, a cycle that had consumed the past two weeks and she was exhausted by it. The circle had to be broken.
She should have been excited with Adam but couldn’t muster it. She’d shot him down rather cruelly in frustration when his constant chatter had become too much. Telling him she hadn’t made a decision but definitely wasn’t going if it meant putting up with him.
Her words should have hurt him but instead, they seemed to bring him back to earth where his friend of more than five years was struggling, and he hadn’t taken a minute to notice. The way he sat back in his chair and appraised her, his head slightly tilting while pulling at an ear lobe told her there were more questions to come. She knew that look. And his questioning was relentless.
Despite his prodding she couldn’t talk about it. If she did, it was possible it would break her too, and she knew now, for Alex, she had to be strong. There was no more time for her tears. Instead, she gratefully accepted his offer to cover some meetings with a promise that they’d talk properly when she got back.
Walking to her car after work, Lori’s suitcase weighed heavy, as did her heart. All day, her mind had been firmly in Scotland with Alex. She’d made the decision to be bold after her last calls with Jess and Stella. Alex needed her, whether she knew it or not.
Checking her phone had become an obsession; waiting for an update from Stella on the search or a response to one of the few texts she had sent Alex. Geography was the least of her worries when it came to the distance between them, and she was fed up of relying on Stella and Jess to keep her up to date.
She wasn’t going to let Alex push her away anymore, isolating herself, and no doubt drinking herself into oblivion if what Jess told her was true. Jess knew the signs of Alex withdrawing and had told her she wasn’t prepared to watch it happen all over again, but she needed Lori’s help.
So Lori had booked a flight at the last minute, and Jess had promised to pick her up and take her to the farm. They’d agreed not to tell Alex, hopeful that once she saw Lori, she wouldn’t turn her away.
She dropped her case in the boot of the car, slid into the driver’s seat, and checked her phone again as she attached it to the hands-free. Still nothing.
Even Stella had been illusive, only texting with official updates and, when she did call, it was all business, straight to the point, only talking about Alex, and her worries about her and the case. The only flicker of her real friend had been when they had discussed Lori’s potential move and she had told her to come to Scotland.
Otherwise, she wasn’t feeling the usual warmth from the friend she had come to rely on over the years, and she was desperate to talk to her properly. She wanted advice and reassurance. She wanted her best friend, not Detective Roberts.
There was something niggling at the back of her mind, but Lori gave her the benefit of the doubt that her distance was just her way of trying to stay focused and cope with the emotion of the situation, given her professional involvement with the case. She wasn’t very familiar with ‘work’ Stella so maybe this was how she operated.
She tapped off a text to Jess to let her know she had arrived at the airport. Despite the circumstances and the potential that Alex wouldn’t have her, now she was free from work and on her way, she was excited with the anticipation of seeing her.
She pushed the darkness that surrounded them to the back of her mind and allowed herself some time to think again of their night together, of the weekends they’d shared and what Alex had come to mean to her. This was her go to when she was ready to give up.
The depth of feeling frightened her. After just over a month and only one night together, she couldn’t comprehend the monopoly Alex had over her thoughts or the overwhelming sense of loss she felt not having her near.
Was it obsession? Infatuation? Could she so easily dismiss seven years with Andrew and fall straight into the arms of not only someone new, but a woman? Would her family approve? Was she ready?
She’d tried contacting Scott but had only gotten through to a generic voicemail message and she worried it might not even be his current number. She needed to speak to him because when she wasn’t thinking about Alex, she was imagining how everyone else would react to her and Alex being together.
Her and Alex.
She jumped as a flight attendant put a hand on her shoulder. She looked around the departure lounge and realised all other passengers had boarded unnoticed. The attendant smiled. “In your own little world there?”
Lori smiled but had no other response. Instead, she followed her to the counter and mutely watched as her boarding card was scanned, and she was free to head to the aircraft. The wind whipped across her face and she tilted her head to the clouds, closing her eyes and allowing her hair to tickle her face as she queued to board the plane. She could smell the fuel in every gust and the hum of engines near and far seemed to vibrate through her, quickening her heart rate with each step she climbed towards the cabin.
She opened her eyes and glanced across the greenery between runways. She watched a wild rabbit join a mate, seemingly oblivious to the industrial roar around them as they munched on grass and played.
As she settled into her window seat, she looked for the rabbits again but the wing cut across her view. She studied each panel and screw, wondering at the flimsiness of a machine about to lift them thousands of feet into the air.
She sat back and buckled up. “Okay, that’s how you end up panicking.”
The man next to her glanced up from his crossword puzzle. “You okay, love?”
She nodded but was lying, and not because of the wonder of physics. Did she really believe there was a future for her and Alex? Did Alex even feel the same? She had pushed her away when life had turned ugly. Hiding out in the countryside and reverting to a version of herself that Jess had thought was consigned to the past. Lori couldn’t blame her for that and was doing her best to understand why, to put herself in Alex’s position, no matter how impossible that was.
Did Alex not think enough of her to trust and accept her help and support when she needed it most, when Lori was so obviously offering it? Surely if they were to have a future together that was where it started. It wasn’t all about chemistry and attraction. She wanted more. Needed more. And they both deserved more. Did Alex still want that? Would she let her in…not just in the door, but into her heart? There were four hundred miles between her and answers.
Her feet tingled with vibrations as the engine gathered momentum and the pilot pulled up the nose. Lori blew out a breath and looked down past the wing, as the patchwork greenery of England was enveloped in cloud.
Chapter 43
Stella slid her chair back, stood, and paced the length of the room again. The last of the coffee was long cold and her glasses weighed heavily on the bridge of her nose. They were no longer helping her to focus on the numerous monitors before her.
She pushed them up on her head and massaged between her eyes, then dropped back into the chair and offered up a silent prayer that something on Sean Murray would materialise soon.
The door opened, making her jump. Hannah Wallace, appeared in the gap. “Stella, sorry, Detective Roberts.”
Stella waved her off. “After the hours we’ve spent in here together, Stella’s fine when it’s just us. What’s up?”
Hannah grew serious. “We have a reported robbery at a farm in the Borders. There’s reason to believe it’s Sean Murray.”
On her feet again, adrenaline kicked her brain back in to action. “Why? Was there a sighting? Has he hurt someone else?” She ushered Hannah into the room.
“No, thankfully the owners were away at a wedding when then think it happened so no one int
errupted him. They only discovered the robbery this afternoon when the wife went to take her car out of the barn and it was gone. She says she hadn’t used it since last weekend.”
“He stole a car? That’s brilliant news. I’m assuming a call’s already gone out with a description?” She was pacing again, thinking through the next move.
“Aye, finding the vehicle has been made a priority but that’s not all he took.”
Stella stopped pacing, bringing her attention back to her colleague. “Why do I not like the sound of where this is going?”
“The officers that attended the scene became suspicious and called it in when they realised nothing else valuable had been taken from the house. In fact, it looks as if he was after specific things.”
Stella held out a hand impatiently. “And those things were?”
“It seems the only items missing are the old second hand car from the barn along with some tools from their workshop…and a shotgun.”
“Shit.” Stella pulled the glasses off her head and threw them on the desk.
Hannah nodded her agreement. “If it was him, at least we now know for sure he’s armed. What his intentions are is another matter.”
Stella sat and gestured for Hannah to do the same. “Okay, what’s the property’s proximity to Alex’s farm?”
She watched as Hannah’s brow furrowed. “Wait, you don’t seriously think he’d go there?”
“Something isn’t sitting right here, Hannah, and the fact that after more than two weeks on the run, he’s now potentially still in Scotland worries me. I think that’s exactly what he might do.”
“Why? Returning to the scene seems like the best way to get caught. Why risk it?”
“I can’t be sure, but from what we know about him, I think knowing Alex exists might seem like unfinished business. Those appeals she did, for witnesses, were everywhere. I’ve been wondering from the start if Beth was his only victim so I did some digging. I thought some flags might rise around the east coast near his home town, but there was nothing to suggest a link with other unsolved murders.”
“You think he got a taste for it after Beth?”
“I don’t think he went to the farm intent on killing anyone, but the manner in which Beth died doesn’t suggest someone who went at her only because he feared for his own life or getting caught. If he’d stabbed her once and ran, I might have assumed that. Put it down to him reverting to survival mode, like an animal cornered. But he stabbed her nine times, Hannah. Nine.” She emphasised the word and Hannah winced. “That’s suggests fury, he relished it, but I think it was also an opportunity he’d been waiting for and he took it. It was overkill.”
She watched as Hannah’s head bowed, no doubt at the imagery, remembering the crime scene photos they’d pored over earlier that week. She scrubbed her hands over her face as Stella had done so many times herself. It wouldn’t remove the visions that she knew would be forever ingrained in her memory. Stella knew that from her own bitter experience.
“I still don’t understand why he might go back to the farm? To relive it through Alex? Or get some sick kick by returning to the scene?” Hannah picked up a pen and scribbled notes Stella couldn’t decipher upside down, her handwriting lopsided in the way that most lefties wrote, she used some kind of shorthand that was obviously her own.
“Well, I didn’t stop at the east coast. When I heard his ex-wife lived in the Bristol area and I heard John Murray talking about Sean taking trips, I got in touch with the detectives down south. They have at least five unsolved murder cases in the past eight years that fit a similar MO. Young women, all with few or no family ties, known prostitutes and drug users, with a variety of charges on their records; solicitation, petty theft, and possession. All of them last seen around the city in areas known for nefarious activity but no witnesses to a car or person with them. Unfortunately, where these women are concerned, if there’s no one pushing for justice, other cases end up taking priority when the trail runs cold.”
“So because no one gives a shit about them, neither should we?” Hannah shook her head. “I hate that.” She was circling her pen around and around, the black spot on the page getting darker until the paper ripped and she threw the pen down. Stella felt her frustration, watched her foot tap with impatience.
“I know. It’s cruel but reality. One detective I spoke to is convinced it’s the same killer in each case and also thinks he can link at least two others to the same person. They were women picked up in bars, with husbands or boyfriends, but the method was the same. There’s been a lot more press and resources put into those cases, but he says, although they recovered DNA in both, which matched to confirm the same killer, they didn’t get any hits on the database. And the other victims, given their line of work had numerous profiles left on them and the money wasn’t spent to compare them all with these two other cases. No one wants to believe their beautiful, loving wives and girlfriends could be in the same category as runaways, addicts, and prostitutes. Not even the police.”
“It makes me sick.” Hannah stood. It was her turn to pace. “Are there any witnesses in those cases?”
Stella flicked through a thin file containing the bullet points that her counterpart had e-mailed. “There’s nothing concrete. Both women were out with friends, were seen talking to a male but alcohol always seems to be involved, as well as it being late, in a dark bar or club. The description given by friends is of a generic white male, medium height, heavy build, dark hair, nothing distinguishable.”
“So what links them? Do you really think they could all be Sean Murray?”
“It’s a theory and it’s loose right now. All the women were bound with duct tape to their wrists and ankles. All were stripped from the bottom down, raped, most likely strangled into unconsciousness before bleeding out from multiple stab wounds to the torso. All were wrapped in plastic and dumped in woodland or fields at various locations that have no pattern. No attempt was made to hide the bodies, just enough time to dump and run.”
“Wow, this is crazy. How do you go from armed robbery to a serial killer? Like, I get shooting someone if things get sticky and you panic, but the way he went for Beth, I understand what you’re saying. You think he always had it in him?”
“I do. I think it started in the military, maybe with the rape accusation. I think that chip on his shoulder has fully formed into rock inside. And don’t forget there’s the mother who left him. I think each one is revenge, for his ruined career, his marriage failing, the loss of his sons. Each woman represents another who has wronged him.”
“So Alex going on TV to appeal for witnesses, for help, that’s just one more person out to ruin his life?”
“Exactly. I think he’s furious right now that he’s been caught. He thought he was smarter than all the women he murdered, he was untouchable. And now there’s this other woman on the TV, describing him and what he did, telling the nation he’s evil. In his mind I bet he thinks he’s done nothing wrong. That they all deserved it.”
Hannah blew out a breath. “Shit. It sounds crazy, but you’re the detective. I’m buying it and I think we need Alex to believe it as well.” She sat in front of a computer and pulled up a map. “Both farms are south of Glasgow, it’s got to be less than forty miles between the two I’d say. Do you think he’s that stupid to rob a farm so close to the original crime scene?”
“No, I certainly don’t think he’s stupid. I think he’s desperate and took an opportunity. He’s a born hunter and a trained soldier, used to far worse conditions than the Scottish countryside. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s been on foot up to this point, camping out in the hills, which is why it’s taken him two weeks to get this far. I think he couldn’t resist when he came across the empty farm, it was just the bit of luck he needed.”
Hannah echoed her earlier expletive, “Shit.”
“That sums it up perfectly.”
Hannah stood again, ready for action. “I found that old man and made him a promise. No
matter his involvement, I told him I would help Beth. If catching her killer is how I do that, then I’m ready for it. Tell me what you need from me?”
Stella smiled, silently thanking Tim for his choice of officer to help her. The fact it was his niece no doubt played a part in his decision. “Right, I need the past seven days of CCTV footage from every petrol station within a fifty-mile radius of Alex’s farm. We need to confirm Murray took the car and there’s a good chance he will have needed petrol at some point. Prioritise those on routes between where the robbery took place and Alex’s farm.”
Hannah threw her a careless salute. Stella appreciated her attempt to relieve some of the tension. “Anything else I can do, Detective?”
Stella laughed at the gesture. “Yes. Prepare yourself for many more hours of drinking bad coffee, stuck in this tiny room with me.”
Hannah winked and started toward the door. “Ah, there’re worse ways to spend an evening, I’m sure, and, if you’re lucky, I’ll even treat you to a fancy coffee.”
She was gone before Stella realised she’d been flirting. Flattered and amused, she pulled her phone from the depths of her bag where she’d put it so she didn’t have to see Scott’s name flash up every hour when he tried to call.
Debating whether to worry Lori and Alex just yet, she flicked through to Jess’s number. She didn’t want to panic her before they’d confirmed it was Murray so, instead of calling, she tapped off a vague text.
Possible break, we may have an ID on the car he’s driving. Hope Lori gets there okay. Keep them safe and I’ll keep you up to date. S x
Great news. Fingers crossed this nightmare ends soon. Picking Lori up in a couple of hours, I’ll let you know when I’ve dropped her off. Oh, and of course I will. My part is easy. Hope you’ve had some rest?
Thanks Jess. Still stuck in the AV room. The coffee is terrible but the company is good, a pretty, young officer who I think has taken a liking to me. She’s all blonde hair, blue eyes, and bouncing with enthusiasm. Remind me to introduce you.