Four Steps

by Wendy Hudson

She flicked her eyes briefly to Lori’s and held firm. She needed to be brave for them both. “I know I’m fucking good enough. Put your weapons down. I won’t ask you again.”

  He laughed and moved the gun to Lori’s temple. His voice was soft when he whispered words into the chasm between them. “Your little Beth wasn’t good enough.”

  Alex’s breath left her at the sound of Beth’s name on his lips. “You don’t get to say her name.” Emotion will not help.

  “She had a shotgun and half the distance to cover, but she still missed.”

  Her hands shook as she slowly started to inch in his direction. “Stop talking and step away from them.” Assess, plan, execute.

  “You know this all feels very familiar. My dad was holding the knife to your mother’s neck just like this. Your father bound and gagged next to her.”

  She tried to block out the words, concentrating on her aim, picking her target. Assess…we’re all in fucking trouble.

  “Let me ask you something, Alex. Do you ever wonder if you’d still have your family if Beth hadn’t missed?”

  She felt the rage build, but kept eye contact, refusing to blink. “I already said you don’t get to say her name.” Plan…shoot the bastard.

  He looked away first, down at the gun now pointing at Lori. “Okay, just one more question then, Alex.” He said her name with a sneer.

  “Stop talking.” Execute.

  When he looked up at her again, his lip curled with satisfaction. “Ask yourself what might happen if you miss?”

  Her gaze fell to Jess and Lori. Jess’s head was bobbing slightly, she groaned as she started to come to. Lori’s neck was still exposed, fresh blood from it joining the trail from her cheek.

  “I only want you, Bitch. Put the gun down and they’re free.”

  Lori shook her head regardless of the bite of the steel. Her eyes welled up as she held Alex’s gaze, pleading with her to risk the shot.

  This was the moment. Judge, jury, and executioner. Now was the moment to execute. To survive. To save.

  She shook her head. “I will not be you.” She whispered and dropped the gun on the ground knowing she couldn’t have made the shot without at least one of them falling victim to Sean Murray. Better to bide my time. Keep him talking. “I’ve lived too long in your shadow. I’d rather die than live in it one more second. I will not let you control me anymore. I’m not a puppet for your amusement, or a doll for you to play with.”

  “Not even got the guts to fight. I’m disappointed, Alex. Your baby sister had more mettle than you.”

  Alex shook her head. “Maybe. But I have an advantage she didn’t.”

  “And what’s that?”

  “I got to make a phone call.” The sound of sirens in the distance grew louder quickly.

  “Bitch.”

  “You’ve still got time.”

  “I knew it. Knew you’d fucking chicken out of facing me. You spineless fucking Bitch.”

  The rage that coloured his face scared her. In that instant, she realised what a mistake she’d made. She’d miscalculated his reaction to the approaching police. It seemed self-preservation wasn’t on his list of goals for the evening. “Please just let them go. There’s still time for you to run.”

  He stared at her, his eyes cold and hard. “You must think I’m a fucking idiot, just like the rest of the whores who’ve ruined my life did.”

  “I don’t, Sean, I don’t. It doesn’t have to end like this. Please.”

  She glanced at the gun in front of her and tried, in desperation, to calculate in how many steps, and how quickly she could reach it.

  “Haven’t you learnt anything yet, Alex. Everything good ends.”

  Alex watched as he leaned in close to Lori, making a show of smelling her hair as he removed the gag. Pressing the gun to her temple, Alex winced with her as he kissed the top of her head.

  “Say your last words, Princess.”

  All Alex could see in Lori’s eyes was determination. She smiled at Alex. “I love you.”

  No sooner had she said the words before a roar escaped her as she launched herself upward with the chair. Smacking the top of her head into Murray’s chin, the chair broke under her as she toppled and fell back on it.

  Alex watched in slow motion as he reeled backward, blood spraying from his mouth. She watched as he staggered momentarily as Lori kicked out at his ankles from the floor, before landing his own kick to her ribcage and spitting a piece of bloody flesh from his mouth next to her head. Then his focus was back on Alex. He spun around and, in her mind, his arm moved as if it was breaking through water, recovering his aim on her. It was a slow blur in her peripheral vision, because she was moving too. Her focus shifted.

  Assess, plan, execute.

  Four.

  That’s how many steps it took Alex to reach the gun.

  Gunshots deafened them all.

  Chapter 53

  Alex couldn’t stop hitting him.

  Aware of shouting at first, then someone pulling at her, trying to grab her wrists, it wasn’t until Lori’s arms wrapped fully around her that she came back to the room and realised what she was doing.

  She straddled Sean Murray’s lifeless body, arms and legs were thick with his blood, from the chest wounds where both she and Stella had shot him, and his face from her blows.

  She let Lori lead her away while still holding her tight, everything a blur through the tears. Was it really over? Were they safe? Her mind couldn’t process the past few minutes, wouldn’t allow her to believe he’d finally paid for his monstrous crimes.

  Hearing her name called, she suddenly remembered. Jess.

  Lori guided her to the gurney about to be loaded into the ambulance with a young police officer glued to its side.

  “Oh shit, Jess.” Alex grabbed her hand. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. This should never have happened. I’m so sorry you were dragged into this.”

  Jess held up her other hand. She shook her head and lifted her oxygen mask. “I think I deserve a holiday after this.”

  Alex laughed through her tears and nodded. She kissed Jess on the forehead and placed her mask back. “A really long holiday, I’d say.”

  They were about to climb into the ambulance with her when the paramedic stopped them. “Sorry only one person can go with her.”

  Stella came up behind them and gave Alex a nudge. “I think PC Wallace here will be happy to escort her. I can follow on behind with you two.”

  Hannah smiled at her superior, and eagerly jumped into the back of the ambulance with a grateful nod to Alex. “From what Detective Roberts has told me this past few weeks about Jess and the conversations I’ve overheard, I don’t think you need to worry about her, but I promise to take good care of her.”

  Alex raised her eyebrows, unsure of what she’d missed, but she trusted Stella’s suggestion, and the thought of leaving Lori so soon caused her a small panic.

  She squeezed Jess’s hand in acquiescence. “We’ll be right behind you, Jess. I love you.”

  Jess squeezed back, her eyes closing as the paramedic shut the doors.

  * * *

  “There’s something we have to do before we follow them to the hospital.” Lori fought the tears again as she took Alex’s hand and led her toward a patrol car.

  A police constable stood sentry next to the tartan blanket wrapped around Alex’s faithful dog in the back seat. They crouched down together and Lori smoothed his fur. “He was so brave, Alex. I just know it.”

  Alex gently stroked his head and kissed him. “That’s Frank. Brave until the goat chased back…”

  The PC spoke. “I’ve offered to take him into the emergency vet’s so you can head straight to the hospital, Miss Ryan. The paramedic wrapped the wound tight and gave him something for the pain.” Nodding at Lori’s bloodied face and neck he continued. “You should probably let them look at you as well.”

  Alex nodded at his offer, grateful to the kind officer. “Thank you—”

&nbs
p; “PC Allen, Steve Allen.”

  “Thanks, PC Allen. You’re a gentleman.”

  Hiding his blush, he bent to stroke Frank one more time before closing the car door. Lori’s arm went round Alex again as they watched him drive away.

  Lori reassured her. “We’ll take care of Frank tomorrow. I have a feeling PC Allen won’t leave his side, and right now Jess needs us.”

  For the first time since she fired the gun, Alex saw Lori. Saw the raw cuts to her cheek and throat, the streaks where tears had run a path through the blood. She took her hands, ran her thumbs across the angry purple bruises where her wrists had been bound.

  The shock hit her and she felt her legs go numb. Her whole body tingled, and the chill cut to her bones. It all could have been so much worse.

  “Are you okay?” She ran her hands over Lori, looking for other injuries, touched the skin under her cut cheek, felt her arms, her sides, lifting her chin to look at her neck, before taking her face in her hands. “I’m so sorry, this is my entire fault. Refusing to leave, hiding out on my own. Determined I could deal with it myself—”

  “Hey!” Lori shook her and stilled Alex’s hands. “Stop that right now. The only person who’s at fault here is Sean Murray. And now he’s paid the price.”

  “But—”

  “But nothing. No one is asking you to carry the blame, Alex. That needs to end tonight. You said yourself, you were determined to deal with this yourself?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, look around. Tonight proves you don’t have to. Me, Jess, Stella, Hannah, Frank, the whole team of officers, and paramedics here now, you might not have asked for help, but we came anyway.”

  Alex tentatively traced a finger under the cut on Lori’s cheek again. “I can’t believe I nearly lost you.”

  Lori brought their foreheads together and enveloped her in her arms again. “Ditto,” she whispered. “But you didn’t.” She kissed new tears from Alex’s lips and smiled, holding her gaze. “I’m not going anywhere, Alex. It’s time to let people back in.”

  Chapter 54

  In the small hours of the morning, Alex looked around the waiting room at her family. That’s what they were now. Bound together in the tragedy of that night, she made a silent vow to them all.

  It was only forward from now on. There was no looking back. No more hiding. No more blame. No more bitterness.

  She would honour their bravery, their friendship, and their love for her over the years, by taking every opportunity to be happy from now on. She’d make Beth proud.

  James Hunter entered the room with a tray of coffees. He smiled as he handed her one. Lori sat between him and her brother, who sat scowling at his feet. Both of them had turned up unexpectedly after a call from Stella telling them what had happened. It seemed they were already on route to the farm but no more explanation had been given. It could wait.

  She watched Lori look back and forth between them through the steam of her coffee and imagined the whole situation to be as surreal to her as it was to Alex. Catching her eye, she smiled. “You okay?” she mouthed, aware of the silence in the room.

  Lori mouthed back, “Yeah.” Nodding either side of her with a small shrug, signalling her own confusion at their sudden appearance.

  Stella squeezed Alex’s hand before leaning in close to her ear. “I’ve already told Lori, I’m pretty sure you two are busted.” She chuckled at the small groan that escaped Alex’s lips and stood. “Don’t look so worried. I’ve heard their intentions are honourable and I’m about to have a conversation.”

  Alex watched as Stella nodded in Scott’s direction before stepping outside of the room with him. A look of confusion passed between her and Lori and they could only shrug again and wonder.

  Reaching to her left, Alex stilled Hannah’s jiggling leg and smiled her way. “She’s going to be fine, Hannah, I know my Jess, and she’ll be stronger than ever after this.”

  She watched Hannah down her coffee. “I hope so.” She got up and paced before heading out of the door after Stella and Scott. It seemed Jess’s magic had already captured the young PC’s attention and she made a note to get the scoop from Stella on what her intentions were toward her best friend. For now though, her presence with them all waiting for the outcome of Jess’s surgery didn’t feel out of place, considering the hours she’d put in alongside Stella to help solve the case. She’d also been the one who volunteered to call Jess’s parents. They had retired to Spain a few years before, but were booked on the first flight home later that day.

  Lori got up and took the seat Hannah had vacated as her dad went to refill their coffee cups. “So according to Stella we’re busted.”

  Alex nudged her shoulder but kept her eye on the door where, hours before, they had taken Jess. “And how do you feel about that?”

  She felt Lori’s hand slip into her own and turned her way. Her expression was soft and Alex could see no worry or apprehension, only love. “I feel lucky to have my family all here together, and to have you by my side.”

  * * *

  “So you called your dad?” Stella paced, not willing to let Scott try and placate her, she needed the full story, wanted to understand.

  “Yes. I called him yesterday from the airport. Stella, I realise now how wrong I’ve been. That wasn’t me that day in your flat. You have to believe me.”

  “Tell me why, Scott? Tell me why I should, because right now you’re still just an asshole homophobe.”

  She watched him hang his head. He scrubbed at his face with rough hands and the sound against the bristles of an unshaved face almost masked the sob that escaped him. But Stella heard it and her heart broke a little. She felt herself soften, but she still knew no more than that day in her flat.

  She knelt in front of him and pulled his hands away, heard him take a breath before eventually lifting his eyes to hers. “I’m so sorry, Stella. Those things I said were unforgivable, but I hope you can understand. Hearing those things about Lori took me back to a place in the past, an unhappy place. And I couldn’t bear to think of her going through the same thing I did.”

  “Scott, you’re not making sense, what happened to you?”

  He took another breath and the words Stella least expected came from his lips. “A boy broke my heart.”

  The tears came harder. Stella rose to sit beside him, taking his hands and turning him towards her. “Tell me.”

  She watched him swipe at his face with his sleeve, collecting himself and stemming the tears. “Ah, it all seems so stupid and insignificant now, but at the time, my life was hell. It was at boarding school, I was fifteen and there was this older boy, Jacob, who started paying me a lot of attention. We were on sports teams together, shared a dorm, hung out in the village when we had our free time, his gang were sixteen and seventeen, and I felt special as the only one in my year to break into it. You have to understand, these were the lads the girls all fancied and all the boys wanted to be.”

  Stella nodded. “I think every school has one of those gangs. So what happened?”

  “Well, at first, I just got invited to the odd thing. I’d been performing well on the football pitch, was starting games regularly, and I guess that’s when it began. But after a while I noticed Jacob finding reasons to spend time only with me. Like going to the cinema and saying it would be a group of us, but then only he would show up. Or getting two tickets to the local football game and inviting me. It felt good, and slowly I started to wonder if he was interested in me more than as a friend.”

  “And did that bother you? Did he hurt you, Scott?”

  “No. No. Not in the way you’re thinking. I think he was interested in me, and I felt the same. It never crossed my mind that either of us was gay, I just liked hanging out with him. I was in awe. There was a connection between us, we got each other, and talked in a way that was different when we were alone to when the other guys were around. Back then, I was more interested in sports and my camera than girls and he was the first person who see
med to appreciate my photography. He would come with me on hikes and I loved taking his picture.”

  He laughed then and Stella urged him on. “What’s so funny?”

  “It’s not funny at all. It’s more that it’s much clearer now how events conspired. We’d stayed out past curfew one night but there was a way to sneak in through the kitchens. When we got there, Jacob decided we should steal some of the teacher’s wine. We ended up drunk in the basement and…”

  “And?” Stella knew what was coming but wanted to hear it from Scott.

  “And I kissed him.”

  “Wow. I take it that didn’t go well.”

  “Oh, it went well, for about thirty seconds. The next thing he’s pushing me across the room and then he’s punching me. Calling me all these dirty, disgusting names, and accusing me of forcing myself on him.”

  “That little fucker.” Stella was raging now. He had no reason to lie to her, and she ached for a young Scott, how traumatising and confusing the situation must have been.

  “Yeah, I tried to reason with him, said it was the booze, it was a joke. I tried everything. But he told all the guys in our dorm. Used the photos I’d taken to say I was obsessed with him. Word spread, just whispers, no one wanted to talk about that kind of stuff out loud. Fortunately, Lori never got wind of it, or if she did, she never said anything. But that was it. In the dorm, the changing room, on the pitch, in class, in the dining hall. Until Jacob left the following year, I was the faggot who liked to get guys drunk so I could take advantage of them.”

  “I’m sorry, Scott, that’s awful. Why didn’t you talk to someone? Have him expelled, moved?”

  “I’ve wondered that myself and looking back I think it’s because I genuinely did care about him, he was my first real crush. I looked up to him and he treated me like shit. But the saddest thing is I think he really liked me too. But he wasn’t ready to admit it. Social media has since informed me that he’s not so shy about it now.” A wry smile crossed his face.

  “So all those things you said about Lori, that’s where those came from?”

  “I guess, but it doesn’t excuse them. I was upset because it brought everything that happened with Jacob back, but I also had these horrifying images of Lori getting branded in the same way. I know it’s a different world now, but it’s been so tough for her already. I couldn’t cope imagining bastards like those guys subjecting her to what I went through.”