My Secret Alpha Step SEAL

by Paula Mabbel

  “Your way?! All we do is things your way! If we don’t, then you act like the whole world is crashing down!” Hugh snatched his hat off of the counter and shoved it on his head before slamming his way out the door.

  Cassie buried her face in her apron and yelled out in exasperation. She hated all of this fighting, and she hated how they were always clashing about everything. Part of her wanted to go home, back to her father, and back to the way of life that she had known before.

  Of course you are going to have to go through a nightmare when you get back, and you may end up with one of those city boys, but at least they only care about money and appearances, so you could get a job and have things to do.

  She stomped her way through the morning chores, and then pulled on her boots. The only thing that she liked about this place was her horse. Hugh had given her a little black horse the day that she arrived, and there were days when that horse was the only thing that kept her sane here.

  She loved giving him his head and racing across the open fields, filling her lungs with fresh air with each bound that he took. There was something majestic and freeing about being on that horse, and no matter how bad it got inside the house, Cassie felt an unprecedented level of freedom when she was out in the fields.

  There was something inside of her that told her she could go for hours and hours, and this was the freedom that she deserved. She didn’t get along with Hugh, but she didn’t think that she could live without her little black horse.

  Cassie tossed his saddle on his back and pulled his bridle on over his head. She walked him out to the yard and pointed him in the direction of the South Field. Then she mounted him and gave him the signal.

  Just like that, they were off in a flash.

  *****

  They hadn’t gotten far when Cassie noticed her husband up ahead. It looked like he was also riding to get some frustration out. She paused. If they were both feeling the same way about this, then why not settle it the old-fashioned way?

  Cassie called out to him and he stopped, waiting for her to catch up. He still looked irritated when she arrived, and she fought back the urge to be short with him.

  “You know I was thinking,” she said in a flirtatious way, “I want to get a job, and you don’t want me to. Why don’t we settle this in your realm? I will race you to that far tree at the end of the pasture, then back here. If I win, I get to get my job. If you win, I’ll stay home and keep the house. Deal?”

  Hugh looked at her suspiciously for a minute. It was well known in these parts how fast of a rider he was. He held the title in the state for both the fair championships, and it was rumored that he was the fastest rider in the whole countryside.

  Finally, he gave her a half smile and agreed.

  They turned around and rode to the gate of the field, and Hugh counted back.

  “On my mark! Three… Two… One… Go!”

  With that they were off. Cassie knew her horse, but she also knew his, and Hugh knew both of them even better than she did. It wasn’t far into the race before Cassie realized that Hugh knew exactly how both of the horses were going to run, and how to work that to his advantage.

  It was true the Cassie’s horse was one of the fastest horses in the entire county. In fact, that was the horse that Hugh had ridden to win both of the races that made him famous, but on the flip side, Hugh’s horse was also incredibly fast.

  Hugh knew that Cassie’s horse was a sprinter, and therefore was going to take the lead in the beginning. He would wait until her horse started to tire, which he would when they were just about halfway to the tree. Then he would give his own horse—the distance runner—his head and watch him take off into the field.

  Cassie pulled back on her horse a little bit, letting him fall back into line with Hugh. She knew a thing or two about horses as well, and she wasn’t going to let her husband best her because he knew that his horse could run farther than hers.

  He was going to have to put his skills to the test as much as she was if he wanted to win, and she was going to make him give it all that he had. She could see the look of surprise on his face as she came back into line with him, and he avoided eye contact with her.

  They were about two-thirds of the way to the tree when Cassie suddenly couldn’t hold back any longer. With a shout, she let her horse have his head, and he took off as fast as he could go once again.

  They were eating the ground with each stride, but Hugh’s horse was staying right up there with them. Cassie had been sure that she and her horse were going to pull ahead and win by a mile, but now it was looking like it was going to be a lot closer of a race than she thought.

  Briefly, she wondered what they would do to settle it if it were too close to call, but she shoved that thought out of her mind with the determination that it wasn’t going to be a close win. She was going to win this race, and it was going to be a clear and definite win.

  Then, without warning, there was a fallen tree in their path. Cassie had never seen it before, having never been this far out in the field, and it took her completely by surprise. Her horse had seen it coming, and cleared it in a deliberate leap, but Hugh’s horse did not.

  The horse was too busy paying attention to Cassie and what she was doing to see that there was a log in their way, and Hugh had been watching her horse as well. Once they finally did see it, it was too late.

  His horse jumped when Cassie’s horse jumped, which made him land too soon. He gave a horrible shriek as his foot caught in between the branches of the fallen tree. He had so much momentum that his back end kept coming up and over.

  Hugh had been caught off guard as well, and when the horse came over the top of him, he was thrown from the saddle and off to the side. Cassie had been going too fast to stop even though she saw that her husband had fallen, and now she was screaming and yanking at her horse’s reins.

  Her horse came to a difficult and defiant stop. It was clear that he didn’t want to quit when he was so full of life, but Cassie didn’t have time to deal with him. As soon as she was able she leapt off his back and ran back to Hugh.

  His horse was hurt so badly that it couldn’t get up, but instead was struggling in the branches of the tree. Cassie wanted to cry when she saw the horse, but didn’t have time to look. Hugh was lying in the grass a few feet away, completely still.

  “Hugh! Hugh! Are you all right? Answer me! Answer me!” Cassie was crying and screaming, but she could see that Hugh had been knocked unconscious by his fall. He had hit his head on a rock that was near the tree, and there was no response when Cassie tried to wake him.

  “I’ll get help! I’ll get help!” She screamed.

  Cassie didn’t know what to do, but she knew that she had to get help out there, and fast. She ran as fast as she could back to her horse and jumped on his back. In a flash they were headed back towards town, going as fast as her horse could possibly run.

  Cassie couldn’t see well; there were tears in her eyes as they raced toward town. She had spent plenty of time in the town, walking up and down the streets, so she knew just where she was going.

  Her horse also knew the journey, but seemed rather confused that they were so suddenly headed back this way. He obeyed when she urged him on faster, but it was clear that he wanted to go back to his fallen stablemate and see if he could help.

  “Come on! Come on! Can’t you go faster? Come on!” Cassie would never strike her horse, but she wished that he would go faster on her words alone.

  After what felt like an eternity, they finally reached the town, and Cassie leapt off of him. She ran to the door of the doctor’s office and pounded on the door, then the window, then the door again.

  “Doctor! Doctor! Come quick! Hugh has had an accident! You must come quickly!” Cassie was growing hoarse from so much screaming, but she couldn’t stop.

  The doctor tossed open the door, his bag already in his hand, and he helped her up. Within minutes they were both in his buggy, heading back to the field as fast as th
e horses could go.

  *****

  Cassie walked back and forth with her hands clasped in front of her. She felt sick. They had worked together to pick up Hugh and put him in the back of the buggy.

  The doctor wanted to get Hugh back to the house as fast as they could, but the horse was still in a bad state, so he took a few minutes to go over and take a look at how badly the animal was hurt. He bent down and ran his hand over the horse’s leg, then shook his head.

  Cassie watched as he pulled out his gun, but obeyed when he turned and told her to cover her ears and look away. She was crying as she held both of her fingers in her ears and looked down at her husband.

  She still heard the gunshot, and she jumped when it rang out, but she didn’t have time to think about it. The doctor leaped back into the buggy and they were headed to the house as fast as they could go.

  The doctor had Cassie help him carry her husband into their bedroom and lay him on the bed, but then he asked her to leave the room while he took a look at how bad it was. Cassie was confused, but she nodded and walked out.

  Now, as she paced back and forth in her living room, she couldn’t help but think that this was her fault. She hadn’t liked being married to Hugh, that was for sure, and she had often wished he would see that he wasn’t as capable and strong as he always acted, but she never wanted anything like this to happen.

  She just wanted to go out and get a job, to feel like she had purpose, and to make some of her own money. Cassie had always been an independent type. She wanted to handle things herself and pay her own way. She had never wanted to be a wife who needed to have her husband buy her everything and be in control of what she could and couldn’t have.

  She was an odd mix of angry and sorry. She would never have wished this on anyone, and if he died, she would never forgive herself. It wouldn’t make her want to change her mind about being independent, but she would certainly wish that she had gone about her quest for independence differently.

  Finally, the doctor came out into the living room and paused.

  “How is he?” she asked impatiently.

  The doctor had his glasses in his hand and was rubbing a smudge off of one of the lenses with the corner of his coat. Cassie tapped her foot impatiently on the floor and put her hands on her hips. After what felt like an hour, the doctor cleared his throat and put his glasses back on, then looked up at her.

  “He is going to live, but I am afraid I have some bad news.”

  Cassie’s face lit up when he started speaking, but it fell as soon as she heard that.

  “What bad news? He is going to be OK, isn’t he? Is there anything that I can do?”

  The doctor held up his hand to stop her, so he could speak once more.

  “He is going to be OK, and he can speak and has memory. However, he has no feeling in his legs. I am afraid he broke his back when he fell, and something must have twisted in his spine. There is nothing I can do. I’m sorry, but he will never walk again.” With that, the doctor left his bill on the counter and saw himself out the door.

  Cassie was shell shocked. She had been expecting him to come out and say a lot of things, but not this. Anything but this.

  How could Hugh be paralyzed? What would that mean for them? What would that mean for her?

  She stood in the middle of the living room and watched out the window as the doctor left. Then she turned and looked through the door to their bedroom. She could see Hugh’s legs in the bed, covered with their sheet.

  She took a deep breath and hesitated. She didn’t know if she should go in there, or give him time. It wasn’t as though they had the kind of relationship where he would want to see her. In her mind, she wondered if he blamed her for the accident.

  Perhaps he would resent her from now on for what happened.

  Her first impulse was to go outside and get things done, but she stopped herself. If it were her in the room, she would have wanted someone to come in and at least ask her if there was anything that they could do for her. She decided she would do the same for him.

  Cassie crept up to the door and gently knocked.

  “Come in,” she heard gruffly spoken from the other room.

  Cassie took another deep breath and entered.

  *****

  To Cassie’s surprise, Hugh wasn’t at all mad at her for what happened. When she entered, he actually smiled at her.

  “That was some race there. I was impressed by how you handled a sprinter compared to a runner.” Hugh turned and looked out the window. Cassie assumed he knew what happened to his horse, but she didn’t want to ask.

  “Thanks. I was wondering if you needed anything. I could get you tea, or some water maybe?” She felt awkward, standing here in the doorway when they both knew that he couldn’t walk again.

  “I’m fine. If you need help with the chores, I know Frank would be happy to send one of his boys over to give you a hand. Be careful when you are feeding the bulls. they get a bit rough over the corn.” Hugh spoke in a direct and matter-of-fact manner. It was as though he were dictating directions to be written down rather than speaking directly to his wife.

  “I’m sure I can handle it. I’ve done my fair share of the chores.” Cassie turned and left. She was going to try to be agreeable with him, but it was hard. She couldn’t help but think he could have been more careful. If he had been paying attention, he would have been able to guide the horse.

  Then again, if he had been more reasonable in the beginning, none of this would have happened at all. He could have let her get a job, and he could have let her have some of the responsibilities that she wanted.

  She thought about all of these things as she was out in the barn, but she was suddenly hit by a pang of guilt. She was going through the shelves that Hugh had in the barn. There was supposed to be a key to the stalls on one of them, but she didn’t know which one.

  Cassie reached high on the highest shelf. She had to get on her tiptoes to reach it, and her fingers brushed something. She reached a bit higher and pulled it down from the shelf.

  There, in her hands, Cassie held a carved heart. It was clearly handmade with skill, and in the center of the heart she found engraved:

  To Cassie, my beautiful, wonderful wife. Happy birthday.

  Her birthday was the next month. He had only asked her once when it was, when they were filling out the marriage license. Cassie was shocked that he remembered, and that he was making this for her in spite of everything they clashed about.

  It’s not like I was the perfect wife, either. I was entirely different from what he wanted in a bride, yet he has still been good to me. He has given me so much.

  Cassie felt so differently now as she did the chores. She couldn’t help but think that there was a kind man back in the house. She had taken so much for granted with him. And now life was going to be a lot harder for the both of them because of it.

  I have to be a better wife to him. I can do it. He deserves it. From now on, I am going to be the very wife that he has always deserved, and I hope I can make him as happy as he should be.

  The weeks turned into months, and Hugh was given a wheelchair. It was hard for him to get around the place, but with Cassie’s help, they managed.

  Cassie didn’t know what happened to her. That one moment that she had in the barn had changed her at the core, and she was like an entirely new person. She could see Hugh in an entirely new way now, and she was ashamed for how she had acted.

  As the weeks passed, she fell more and more in love with him, and she could see that he felt the same for her. All of the things that they had fought about before now seemed so silly, and they both laughed that it had ever been an issue.

  The two of them spent so much time together; it was as though they were newlyweds once again. Cassie learned how to do the chores quickly, and she learned how to hitch up the horses to the buggy. Hugh was strong enough to pull himself up onto the seat, and he was able to drive them to and from town, but he couldn’t ride in a sad
dle without feeling in his legs.

  Neither one of them spoke of that day. They shut the gate to the back field and spent all of their time down in the front. Cassie didn’t want to see that tree anymore, and there was no reason for Hugh to be up there. Although neither one of them said anything, she always assumed that he was upset about the loss of his horse.

  The seasons changed, and in the following spring, they had grown so used to their way of life that it seemed like it had always been that way. In the beginning, there had been a lot of confusion about what they could still do and what they needed to learn how to do, but on this spring day, Cassie felt completely natural sitting next to her husband on the wagon.

  They had come to town to purchase the lumber to change the porch. Cassie didn’t mind helping Hugh up and down the two porch steps in his wheelchair, but he insisted that they needed to put in a ramp so he could manage it on his own.

  They had finally scraped together enough funds to do it, and here they were. Cassie was eager to get into the store and back out to her place. Now that school was back in session, there were kids everywhere in town and it was hard to keep the horses steady around them.

  Suddenly, a young girl came running out into the street. She was being chased by a young boy, and they were both laughing and dodging back and forth. Cassie rolled her eyes and yelled at them to get out of the way of the wagon.

  As they gathered the supplies they needed and paid the store owner, Cassie mused, “Kids. You think you can get done what you need to do, and they always manage to be in the way, making it that much more difficult.” She expected Hugh to agree, but there was a funny look in his eye.

  She suddenly remembered that he had always wanted kids. It was something that they had talked about when she had first arrived, but it was something that they hadn’t spoken of since the accident.