Custom Love
Page 19
“Would you move in with me? I mean, when you are ready,” he asks, lifting his head and looking at me.
I think about it. I do love my house and having my own space, but I would also love waking up to him every morning. “I would,” I tell him. “Not yet, though. Maybe if we wait a bit. But I would love to work toward that. I think the kids will need time to adjust.”
“You’re right. Thank you for thinking about my kids and what’s best for them.” He nods, smiling. “But I appreciate you being honest and telling me it is something you see for us.”
I fall asleep smiling.
Trade is one of the best things that has happened to me, and I love every second of being with him.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Six Months Later
Trade steps into my office, his phone in his hands. “Is he really gone? Is this over?” he says with trepidation on his face. “Did Izzy message you?”
“She did,” I admit with a huge smile on my face.
After all the drama with Chains, who is now behind bars, something else has popped up. I finally got in contact with Merve, Mila’s biological father, and asked if we could meet to discuss Mila. He was demanding full custody. Izzy spoke to him and told him that after Ariel died they tried to find him, but after six months it was deemed that she was Mila’s legal guardian, as stated in Ariel’s will. She landed the final blow by saying that it’d be over her dead body that she’d hand Mila over to him, and if he wanted to see her, he was going to have to take us all to court.
A week later we got a summons in the mail from family court, but we were prepared. I pulled out all the stops and dug deep into where Merve was for the past five years and what he was up to. I sent his lawyer a copy of his rap sheet—he did two years for grand larceny, burglary and assault—in addition to affidavits from his former business partners saying he lied on his last three tax returns.
Merve has dropped the suit and is leaving town. He agreed to give away all of his parental rights.
“I almost don’t want to believe it’s true. What if he changes his mind?” Trade asks, vulnerability in every word. “You know that I’ve been wanting to legally adopt her for the longest time. And Izzy has agreed to it and thinks it is the safest way to go.”
“We will do whatever we need to to keep her safe,” I promise him. “Did you drive all the way here to talk about that?”
“Oh fuck. I brought you coffee, I left it in the car.”
He disappears and I hide my smile. He looks after me. He’s always checking on me, dropping in with food and coffee and just being all-around amazing.
“Here you go,” he says, smiling sheepishly. He kisses me. “I’ll see you after work. Have a good day.”
“You too,” I call out as he leaves.
About an hour later, Marisol comes in to see me. Although Damon didn’t kill Ariel, he is still doing time for helping Chains, although not nearly as much. He will be out in five years, and his mom seems happy with that.
This is the first time I’m seeing her since everything went down.
“I wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart,” she says, placing an envelope on my desk. “You listened to me when no one else would, and I know how much it took from you to push through with the case. I owe you, Nadia.”
I take the envelope. “You lied to me, Marisol. Many times. You were receiving money from someone and didn’t tell me. Is that how you were paying me?”
She looks down, wringing her hands. “Yes. It’s how I knew my Damon was innocent.”
“But Damon wasn’t innocent, Auntie. He helped get rid of a body.” I honestly haven’t processed my feelings toward Marisol. I don’t know if I can ever trust anything she ever says to me.
She looks me right in the eye. “I heard that you’re a stepmother now. You’re raising children. Do you love them like your own?”
“I’m not technically their stepmother, but of course I do. I’d do anything for them.”
She tilts her head. “Anything?” And with that one word I do see where she is coming from. I may not agree with her, but I understand the sentiment.
I open the envelope and pull out a check for ten thousand dollars. My eyes widen. It’s a lot of money.
“Marisol, I can’t take this,” I say, trying to give it back to her. “You don’t owe me anything. I can’t accept money that Chains gave you.”
“I want you to have it. And that is my money. I donated the money that man gave me to a women’s shelter. You gave me something priceless, my dear: justice. Please take this as a thank-you from me. Put it aside for a rainy day if you don’t need it, or instead of renting this place, why don’t you put down a deposit on your own office?” She stands and winks at me. “You deserve it.”
She leaves, and I’m standing there holding the check. It will be nice not having to worry about money for a while, I have to admit, but I never wanted her to feel like she owed me anything.
I’m proud of myself for pulling off what at many times I thought was going to be impossible. I remember thinking I was in over my head and wanting to quit. My friends were the ones who kept me going.
And now everything has been set right, and I couldn’t be happier.
Three Months Later
I close the book and smile down at Mila. It’s been a few months since Merve came back into the picture, and Trade has already started the long adoption process. “I love that story.”
“I know you do,” I reply, lifting the blankets up to cover her. “Did you have fun today at the beach?”
“I did,” she replies.
“Well, goodnight, little princess. Sweet dreams.” I lean down to kiss her forehead.
“Goodnight, Nadia. Love you.”
I smile and put the book away. “Love you, too.”
Together we pat her chest, right over her heart, and she says, “Night, Mommy. See you in my dreams.”
It’s our little routine that we do every night, and she refuses to do it with anyone else. Izzy tried once and Mila told her that it’s reserved for her, her mommy and Nadia only. I think I cried a bit when she told me that.
I slowly edge out of her room and run into Trade at the door. “How long have you been standing there?”
“Not long. Just watching you.”
He steps inside and kisses Mila, then closes the door behind us. “You are so great with them. Do you know how much I appreciate that?”
“Maybe you can show me later,” I whisper in a husky tone.
“Nadia! Can you tuck me in?” I hear AJ call out.
“Wonder who the new favorite is,” Trade grumbles, walking with me to AJ’s room.
“Of course I can,” I tell AJ. “Are you going to read me a chapter tonight, or is it my turn?”
“It’s my turn to read.”
With the older three, Trade and I take turns reading with them every night. Even Alia looks forward to it, although India is starting to require her privacy.
Trade says goodnight to AJ while I grab the book off the shelf, open it to the correct chapter and hand it to him. I sit there and listen to him read, and help with any words he needs help with. And then I go in to say goodnight to India, who is reading by herself.
When I stop in Alia’s room, Trade is just finishing up listening to her read. I walk in to kiss her head goodnight. “Nadia, will you take me shopping this weekend?” Alia asks.
“Sure, what do you need?”
“I want a training bra.”
Trade starts coughing, and I pat his back while trying to hold in my laughter.
“I’m going to go. Goodnight, sweetie.” He leans down to kiss Alia and then makes a quick exit.
“Of course. We’ll make a day of it, maybe get manicures, too?” I say, looking forward to our time together. She’s really come around in the past few months. I thin
k it’s because she realized that I’m not going anywhere and I’m here to stay. Trade and I try to do individual things with each of the kids so they never feel left out. I think it’s really helped, although it was a bumpy start.
“I can’t wait. Thanks, Nadia.”
After I turn out her light, I walk into our bedroom. I finally moved in about two months ago and couldn’t be happier, although Trade and I decided that in the next year we’re going to buy a house together to give us a fresh start with new memories.
“Are you going to tuck me in next?” he asks, grinning as he walks toward me. He lifts me up and lays me back on the bed. “I fucking love you, you know that?”
“I love you, too.”
He makes it so easy to love him. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be here right now with Trade, but sometimes fate has better ideas.
And I couldn’t be happier.
* * *
We all stand at Ariel’s headstone on her birthday, which is covered in fresh flowers and photographs.
“I miss you, Mommy,” Mila says with her hand on her heart, which brings tears to my eyes.
“We love you,” AJ says.
“And we wish you were here,” India adds.
“But you’re in heaven, so that must be pretty nice,” Alia says quietly.
And then Trade speaks. “I hope you are at rest now. I’m sorry it was someone we knew who did this to you, someone we considered a member of our family. If you’d never met me, maybe you’d still be alive and Mila would have her mom.”
I look down, emotion filling me.
“We all love you more than we can explain, and you are so missed by all of us,” he continues.
“And you will never be forgotten,” I add.
AJ wraps his arm around me and holds on tightly. “You won’t leave us, will you, Nadia?”
All five sets of eyes are suddenly on me. “Not if I can help it. Some things aren’t in my control. But I want to stay here with you for as long as I can, okay?”
That seems to be good enough for him. He nods. “Okay.”
“We still have our memories,” India says, smiling sadly. “And there are some good ones.”
“There are. Ariel was always so funny, and so silly. She loved dancing around the house while she was cooking. Sometimes she’d forget and burn the food, and then she’d just order out instead,” Alia adds.
“She really wasn’t the best cook,” India says, and we all laugh.
“And she’d help me with my homework,” AJ says, “but if I didn’t want to do it she didn’t make me. She was nice.”
“And she’d try to talk Dad into letting us have a little more freedom,” India adds, smiling. “She failed, but at least she tried.”
I smile at that one. It blows me away how beautiful and wise these children are. They aren’t here screaming why them, or misbehaving because of their grief, even though it would be understandable if they did. They aren’t letting their grades fall, or giving their dad a hard time. They aren’t blaming anyone for what happened. They are just strong, resilient, brave humans, and have handled this so well, and I know that is because of Trade.
He has led them in their time of need, and has been their strength for them.
He’s amazing.
“And Ariel liked everyone. I think she’s happy we have Nadia, and we’re happy that we have someone nice looking after us,” AJ adds, smiling over at me. “Someone who plays games with me, cooks with me and always has time for me.”
Mila comes over and hugs my leg. “You are so nice, Nadia.”
I get all emotional, tears threatening to drop. “Thank you, but I’m the lucky one to have you all in my life. You are all wonderful children and I feel so blessed to be able to be a part of your family. Your dad and mom have both done an amazing job raising you all. And I will always be here for you if you need me.”
“I need you,” Mila adds, nodding very seriously.
“Me too,” Trade mutters, wrapping me in his arms and bringing me against his chest. “Thank you for all that you do, for loving us and being so understanding. You are such a strong woman, and the perfect role model. And thank you for never trying to erase Ariel’s memory.”
We all stay there for about an hour, talking about Ariel, sharing memories and wishing her a happy birthday in heaven.
Trade thinks I’m strong, but when I look at them I feel so inspired by the strength they show. I am truly lucky to be surrounded by all of them.
They say that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. I’m super proud of who I have surrounded myself with.
They aren’t my blood, but they are my heart.
And that means so much more.
Epilogue
Three Months Later
Trade
“You sure you want to do this?” Temper asks, studying me. When he dropped by my house, I asked him to come outside so we could have a talk. We both knew it was coming. “You know the job is always there for you if you change your mind.”
“I know, but it’s time for me to focus on my own business once more,” I say, and to be honest, Chains has tainted working at Fast & Fury for me. I had my change of scenery, and now it’s time for me to get back to the construction world, to work hard to provide for my family’s future. It was such a relief when Mila’s adoption paperwork came through, which makes her officially my daughter. I mean, to me, she always was, but now she is legally, too.
“And Atlas and Aries will be able to handle it,” I comment, referring to the newly patched members of the MC, and the new Fast & Fury managers. Atlas might not be my favorite person right now, but I know he and Aries will do a good job taking over.
Once I heard that he had taken my woman on the back of his bike, I was fucking furious. Don’t get me wrong, I was happy he was keeping Nadia out of trouble and having her back, but let’s just say he won’t be doing that again.
Temper smirks. “You know I had to hire them both for it—them two fuckers don’t do anything alone.”
“I know.” I grin. “But hey, an extra helping hand is never bad at that place.”
“True.” He slaps me on the back and then pulls me in for a hug. “Whatever you need, I’m here for you.”
“I know.”
He hesitates, scrubbing his hand down his beard. “Nadia. I like her, and I like you both together. She’s a good woman.”
“Is this your official approval?”
He barks out a laugh. “Something like that. More like me warning you not to fuck it up.”
“I’m not going to. She’s perfect for me, and someone I never saw coming. She’s going to be my wife.”
Temper nods, and then gets back on his motorcycle, the loud engine music to my ears. I head back inside where Nadia is making the kids some dinner. I never ask her to do anything, or expect her to, but she likes looking after us all, and I like doing the same for her.
She’s wonderful, and I know how lucky I am to have her in my life.
My kids will be lucky to have her as their stepmother, and they all know that.
“Need any help?” I ask.
“Could you get the garlic bread out of the oven?” she asks, stirring the pasta on the stove. “Did you know Mila doesn’t like onions today? Apparently it’s a thing, so I’ve made her a separate batch.”
“You’re spoiling her.”
“She asked nicely and batted her eyelashes. You try to say no to that.” It’s hard, because she looks just like Ariel.
I never thought I would love anyone after Ariel, but Nadia has proved my theory wrong. She loves doing that.
I will always love Ariel, and I will always love Nadia. Most people only get one love in their lives, but I’ve been blessed with two.
And I’m never going to take that for granted.
She’s given us all a second chance at happiness.
I take the garlic bread out of the oven, and after she turns the stove off, I spin her around and kiss her deeply, my hands cupping her cheeks.
“I love you,” I say against her lips.
“I love you, too,” she replies, breathless, her brown eyes looking at me in a way that only she can.
She sees me.
And it means so damn much.
“What did I do to deserve you?” I ask myself out loud. I haven’t always been a good man. I mean, I’ve tried, and I’ve always tried to be a good father, but I don’t think I’ve ever done anything so grand to deserve this woman in my arms.
“You’re pretty good in bed,” she teases, and I laugh and playfully bite down on her neck. She’s so sexy, and I can’t seem to keep my damn hands off her. It’s a problem, really.
We haven’t spoken about kids yet, but if she wants more, I’m happy to give her that, and if she doesn’t, I’m fine with that, too. Whatever she wants.
I just want to be with her.
In whatever form that comes in.
And to me, that’s what true love is.
One Year Later
I’ve never felt so sick in my life as I do right now.
I knew that proposing was going to bring back memories of the day I lost Ariel, waiting at home for her to return from the salon but her never doing so.
I knew I wasn’t going to let Nadia go anywhere tonight. I don’t want her to leave my sight at all, because I’m just so scared.
I know it’s not rational. There’s not some curse on me that takes away my women the night I’m about to propose to them, but I still can’t help that feeling in my stomach. I know it’s not going to go away until I get down on that knee and ask Nadia if she will be my wife.