by Nikki Ash
I snort as Emery pinches the bridge of her nose. “Of course, she did.”
“I mean, she wasn’t wrong, per say,” I counter.
Em chuckles and rolls her eyes playfully before composing herself and focusing back on Hollis. “H, did I ever tell you that Harland is in a band?”
He shakes his head, but I can practically see the gears turning. “He is?”
She nods and Hollis turns his attention to me. He crawls into my lap and I release Emery’s hand to hold my son. Neither one of us say a word as his fingers reach up and graze my cheek. He stares into my eyes and I can practically feel the moment it clicks.
“Hawlan, are you my dad?”
A wave of emotion clogs my throat and I almost can’t get the words out, but I do. “Yeah, little man. I am.”
He gasps for a second before wrapping his arms around my neck and hugging me tightly. Tears fill not only my eyes, but Em’s too. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so content as I hold Hollis close.
“Are we going to be a family now?” he asks as he pulls away.
My gaze meets Emery’s and she lets out a wet laugh, swatting away stray tears.
“Yeah, H,” she answers, using our mutual nickname. “We’re a family now.”
Hollis scrambles from my lap to start jumping on his bed and cheering happily. Em and I watch him with warm smiles on our faces, until he stops suddenly and narrows his eyes at me.
“Wait,” he says warily. “Does that mean you’re going to be kissing mommy?”
I chuckle and look over at his mom. “That depends on if she’ll let me.”
Emery scrunches her nose, mocking disgust. I grab her by the arm and pull her close. She giggles just before I cover her mouth with my own and kiss her in front of Hollis for the first time, but certainly not the last.
“Oh, gross!” H groans and collapses on the bed with hands covering his eyes.
We both can’t help but laugh at his dramatics and Em pulls away to pepper kisses all over Hollis’s cheeks. He thrashes around on the bed in a fit of giggles before stopping and pressing a kiss to his mom’s cheek in return.
The happiness that fills the room unlike anything I’ve ever felt before and I know that nothing will ever be able to drag me down. Not when I have them.
They give me strength.
They hold me together.
They calm the storm.
Truth and Lies by J.D. HollyField
Chapter One
The sun beats down, forcing me to shield my eyes as I take in the perfect view before me.
Jake DuPont.
My neighbor.
The person who has owned my heart since the moment I understood what love was.
The water spreads like waves with each rhythmic stroke as he swims across his Olympic-size pool. The side of his face breaks the surface, and he inhales a quick breath, the sun’s rays illuminating his plump lips. He glides through the water like a magical sea creature, and I imagine myself fighting against the current to get to him, escaping the reality that exists above the surface
My stomach twists at the thought of summer ending. Of what tomorrow will bring. I have to prepare for the emptiness that surfaces every time he leaves me—the ache inside my chest when he’s away.
The wind picks up, and the chimes hanging from the trees sing. Leaves fall to the ground—another cruel reminder that summer is over. My legs hang over the edge of the pool, kicking back and forth, needing the water to cool my overheated skin. I inhale the breeze, memorizing the smell of the summer air, locking it deep inside my chest to reminisce on during the days and nights I struggle the most.
It’s foolish, I know. Two kids, forbidden to be together, secretly in love. But he’s all I’ve ever known. He defines love for me. He always has. The one who fills the loneliness inside me. The only one who feels like home.
Jake and I may come from the same world—a society built on stature and prestige—but we might as well be from different planets with the way our parents try to keep us apart.
We’re what people called aristocrats. Well…our parents are. Jake and I are just chess pieces, puppets on strings. With us, they plan to gain access into superior circles. We will blossom into leaders of high society where the wealthy mingle with the wealthier in hopes of becoming the wealthiest.
Jake DuPont is four years older than me, top of his class at university. Dominating anything he touched, he was captain of the Rugby team, head of the debate team … and breathtakingly beautiful. I know, what eighteen-year-old calls a guy beautiful? But he is. He’s every word that describes perfection.
Like everyone else in his family, he’s always been destined to attend an Ivy League school and become a doctor like his father. His parents even had his wife chosen for him by the age of twelve. Rebecca, the daughter of a judge, will help merge two elite families into a fortress of power.
I had my own destiny. Not as high achieving as Jake’s, but that’s because I’m not the perfect, well-mannered, flawless daughter my mother so desperately wished for. The older I got, the more disappointed in me she became until I turned into a lost hope, and their plans for me shifted. My path turned out to be simpler: attend an Ivy League school and marry someone in politics—steal the hearts of Congress while carrying the name of a high society electoral official. The smile on my mother’s face when she imagines herself having tea at the White House is ridiculous.
It’s absolutely atrocious. But it’s our world. We don’t get to choose our path. Jake doesn’t get to be a firefighter like he’s talked about since he was seven, I don’t get to become a ballerina or movie star, and we don’t get to marry for actual love. Those silly dreams stay like that: dreams.
Jake is heading off for med school, and I’m finally starting college. The time has come to walk our separate paths, and I’ve never hated anything more. With both our futures unknown, there are no holiday promises or summer plans to hold on to. My heart squeezes as tears prick my eyes.
We’ve always been each other’s safe place—and now our safe place is getting ripped out from under us.
I remember the first time I felt the flutter. I hadn’t been sure what was happening to me. Jake, being older and more experienced, I think, knew the exact moment my feelings changed. He became more tender, patient. Being young and emotionally confused, he would take the verbal lashings when I became too confused to explain why it hurt to see him with another girl. He would ignore my whining and hug me, force us to the guest house at the back of his family’s mansion, and make me hang out with him, listening to song after song until my walls broke down and we were back to being us: Jake and Willa.
As time passed, our feelings grew like wildflowers- uncontrollable and taking root in every crevice of our hearts. He owned me. I owned him.
The day he turned eighteen and left for college, it broke me.
His parents threw him a lavish going away party. I was stuffed into yet another floral gown with my hair wrapped tightly in a headache-inducing bun and had to watch across the pool as he mingled with guests, saying his goodbyes and feeding them lies about being so thrilled to start this journey. When he gazed across the pool at me, his smile so saccharine I tasted it on my lips, my heart crumbled at the thought of him being gone. I ran to the guest house—our special place—hid my face in my hands, and cried. When he found me sometime later, he did what he always did.
“Please don’t cry.” He bends down, wiping away my tears.
“I wish you weren’t leaving. I can’t do this without you. There’s so much I want to say, but how do I? How do I confess that—”
Cupping my face, he presses his lips against mine, cutting off my rant. It’s not long or ravishing. It’s soft and kind. When he pulls away, his eyes lock on mine. “I’m going to miss you too. You have no idea. One day, our words will have meaning and won’t be forced into the shadows. Stay safe for me, Willa. I’ll be back soon.”
I was fifteen the first time he kissed me, and we haven’t spoken
of it since. For years, we’ve danced around each other. He never made another move on me but showed in other ways that he was right there with me—the way he held me when we went swimming or how he gripped my hand when we walked together into parties. How he pulled me close after I suffered the abuse of my mother… and how my heart would break any time he had to make appearances with Rebecca…every ounce of him has always shown me he’s felt the same.
I squeal as water shoots up, and Jake splashes me as he breaks the surface, his strong arms reaching forward to grab at my legs.
“You gonna come in?”
“And get my hair wet before family photos? Mother would have an aneurysm.” Jake laughs, knowing I’m right. I wasn’t blessed with pretty and manageable silk-blonde hair—more like curls with a mind of their own and a private stylist so no one tells my stuck-up mother her daughter resembles a low-class vagrant.
“I like it when your hair is all wild.” Jake’s lips curl upward into a smile that visits me every night in my dreams. His perfect white teeth and mischievous grin always have a way of turning any bad situation into something good.
Another reason why tomorrow is going to suck.
Jake glowers at the sadness in my gaze and tries to deflect away from what’s truly upsetting me. “You know you can always tell her it was my fault. I pushed you in.”
I roll my eyes. Like my mother would believe that. It was always one of our go-tos when we were kids and found ourselves looking like soaked rats at Sunday brunch because a simple game of tag turned into us jumping into his pool. “Yeah, then maybe I can tell her you made me roll in dirt so I don’t have to wear the ugly flower dress she has laid out for me.”
Jake scrunches his nose. I swear, my mother would have been over the moon with a dress-up doll instead of a daughter. We continue to stare at one another, holding onto a moment that doesn’t belong to us. A silent stare that speaks volumes but can only exist in our hearts. Something burns like wildfire between us, but if we ever dared acknowledge it, it would turn us to ash.
“How about if I promise to blow dry your hair when we’re done? Just a quick race. Three-lap parlay. Whoever wins has to go streaking down the street.”
I laugh and slap his thick bicep. “You want me to get disowned? No respectable congressman’s wife would be caught doing that, now would they?”
His lips thin, but he quickly masks his expression by waggling his brows. “Maybe I just want to see you naked.” His eyes glimmer with truth, but he disguises his honesty with a wink. “It’s my last day here. You’re not going to leave me hanging by myself, are you? You know my parents have another huge going away party tonight. You can’t ditch me. Please…” He puckers his lips, gripping tighter to my thighs.
“You have a girlfriend. Have her be your date.”
His brows scrunch, and he scowls. “You know she’s not my girlfriend. Rebecca is only a tool in my parents’ plan to unite riches with riches—that’s all she’ll ever be.”
I shake my head and laugh. “Well, you haven’t looked like it was much of a hardship, smiling and carrying her on your arm all summer.” A summer that has ripped my heart to shreds.
Jake’s mood dies—and so does mine. Pushing up against the edge of the pool, he spreads my legs apart. “The same reason your mother’s made you prance around with that Walter geek. Unless you two are actually hitting it off, and you find his nerdy bifocals and flood pants attractive—ouch!” I slap him.
“God, no. And he smells musty. It’s horrible.”
We stay quiet for a moment, the weight of our circumstances settling into that heavy place in our chests. “I don’t want you to leave,” I confess, feeling like a broken record. How many more times can we wallow in this moment?
His shoulders slump as sadness seeps into his gaze, matching mine. “You can come visit. Your university isn’t far from the hospital. Even though I’m sure those aristocrats will flock to you the second you land on campus. You’ll be engaged and forget about me in no time.”
The mere thought creates panic inside me. How could he ever think I would forget him? He’s embedded in my heart, and his imprint marks my soul. I’d die a thousand times, and his steely gaze would still give me life. But what if that’s what he wants? For me to go to college and forget about him? Grow up and put a stop to this silly fantasy? Stop the harping and the tearful nights? Maybe he’s grown up so much that his bond has faded.
“Whatever. Maybe you’re right. Mother was talking ring sizes with Walt—”
He captures my waist and pulls me in. I have a split second to inhale before he brings me under the pool’s surface. Just like the other times we’ve found ourselves in this situation, our eyes open, adjusting to the water, and we share a silent embrace where time stands still, where the loud noises of our parents’ demands aren’t suffocating us. Down here, we’re just Jake and Willa, wanting to be free of the society we’ve been raised in. A girl and a boy who have possibly fallen into a forbidden love.
I beg him not to leave me again. And he screams he has to go. It never goes any further than this—a forbidden glimpse into each other’s soul. There’s no telling the destruction if we let ourselves bask in the touch of each other’s lips. But in these stolen moments, I pretend. His lips, the taste of cherry Chapstick and mint. His hands, which stay innocent, but become rough and demanding. His body consumes mine. In my dreams, there’s only one path, and we get to take it together. But after tomorrow, I’ll be alone again, and he’ll be off on another journey forced upon him.
Chapter Two
The DuPonts don’t miss a beat when it comes to throwing an extravagant party—especially one where they can show off. The violinist in the corner of the backyard plays beautifully as the glimmering lights hang in perfect waves along the branches, illuminating the entire yard. Waiters walk around the pool with trays of champagne as friends and family chatter amongst themselves.
My mother’s eyes meet mine as the mayor continues to speak to her, her face stern and unyielding. I ruined the family portrait. My hair rivaled a rat’s nest, and there hadn’t been any way for them to fix it in time. I explained I’d fallen in the pool by mistake, but she was past my silly lies when it came to Jake and me—and she was making it known.
“It was an accident. Jake and I—”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, Willa. There’s no way that respectable young man would spend his day peddling around with a nuisance like you. You should be ashamed of yourself for trying to tarnish his good name.”
“How would me being with Jake tarnish his name? We’re friends. A perfect match, actually. And last I checked, we’re both rich and powerful.”
My mother’s sharp laugh wounds me. “That we are, my daughter, but you have yet to prove you are anything but a disgrace to our family name. And trust me, someone with such a bright future would never attach themselves with such a disappointment.”
My head still aches from being dragged up the flight of stairs, thrown into my room, and instructed not to dare leave until a new stylist arrived. God forbid someone got a look at me. My anger came in the form of heavy tears. Her hateful words couldn’t have been farther from the truth. Our love was real.
I took a shower, washing away the chlorine and the feel of Jake’s hands. Down the drain went the regret when he finally let me go and the anger that he could so easily switch roles and go back to playing the mischievous best friend and not the man I’ve been so madly in love with since my heart found its other half.
Mother tears her eyes away, slipping into her practiced and fake smile as they continue their conversation. I snag a glass of champagne, toss it back before getting caught, and ditch the crystal glass on a tall, lace-covered pub table.
Goosebumps spread over my arms, and I lift my eyes to the other side of the pool. Jake is standing with some of his father’s business associates, his eyes locked on me. Everything around us seems to freeze. The chimes no longer ring, and the wind no longer blows- the universe belongs only t
o us. Two hearts beating in unison. His eyes never leave mine as we stare into each other’s souls. He licks his lips and my legs quiver.
They open, and he mouths, “Hi.”
“Hi,” I mouth back.
“You’re late.”
I laugh, gesturing to my attire and hair. His infectious smile appears, and I ache to tear away the space between us and claim those lips as my own. We can do this forever. Block out the world around us. Pretend. My heart rate quickens as he excuses himself, and we both make a move to get to each other. A man steps in front of him, and our bubble pops. The windchimes chatter. Annoying social laughter pains my ears. His pleading eyes find mine, and he mouths, “Sorry.”
I force a sympathetic smile as he pulls his attention away from me, his own fake smile in place as he converses with the gentleman.
The night drags on like molasses. I find myself trapped in dull conversations, my eyes constantly seeking out Jake. My mind keeps replaying how handsome he looked in his dark slacks and fitted dress shirt that accentuated his toned body. That was the last time I saw him, and it was hours ago. A waiter passes by, and I grab a glass of champagne and slam it back, wanting to numb the pain tonight is causing. “At least the champagne is—”
“Willa, darling.” I jump, bumping into the pub table, and turn to Meredith, Jake’s mother.
“Hello, Mrs. DuPont. Great party. The swans are beautiful,” I rush out, throwing the glass behind my back into her rose bushes.
She waves me off, as if she doesn’t already know and expects every guest to compliment them. “Just a little touch. You haven’t seen my Jakey, have you? He’s been missing for some time, and there are so many people who want to wish him well.”
“No, sorry, Mrs. DuPont, I haven’t. Maybe I’ll go look for him.”
She waves me off again. “No, dear. Let me find Rebecca. She should be the one to find him. Enjoy.” She saunters away into the crowd.