The Surprising Adventures of Baron Munchausen

by Rudolf Erich Raspe

  CHAPTER XXV

  _Count Gosamer thrown by Sphinx into the snow on the top ofTeneriffe--Gog and Magog conduct Sphinx for the rest of the voyage--TheBaron arrives at the Cape, and unites his former chariot, &c., tohis new retinue--Passes into Africa, proceeding from the Capenorthwards--Defeats a host of lions by a curious stratagem--Travelsthrough an immense desert--His whole company, chariot, &c., overwhelmedby a whirlwind of sand--Extricates them, and arrives in a fertilecountry._

  The brave Count Gosamer, with a pair of hell-fire spurs on, riding uponSphinx, directed the whole retinue towards the Madeiras. But the Counthad no small share of an amiable vanity, and perceiving great multitudesof people, Gascons, &c., assembled upon the French coast, he could notrefrain from showing some singular capers, such as they had never seenbefore: but especially when he observed all the members of the NationalAssembly extend themselves along the shore, as a piece of Frenchpoliteness, to honour this expedition, with Rousseau, Voltaire, andBeelzebub at their head; he set spurs to Sphinx, and at the same timecut and cracked away as hard as he could, holding in the reins with allhis might, striving to make the creature plunge and show some uncommondiversion. But sulky and ill-tempered was Sphinx at the time: sheplunged indeed--such a devil of a plunge, that she dashed him in onejerk over her head, and he fell precipitately into the water before her.It was in the Bay of Biscay, all the world knows a very boisterous sea,and Sphinx, fearing he would be drowned, never turned to the left orthe right out of her way, but advancing furious, just stooped her heada little, and supped the poor count off the water, into her mouth,together with the quantity of two or three tuns of water, which shemust have taken in along with him, but which were, to such an enormouscreature as Sphinx, nothing more than a spoonful would be to any of youor me. She swallowed him, but when she had got him in her stomach, hislong spurs so scratched and tickled her, that they produced the effectof an emetic. No sooner was he in, but out he was squirted with themost horrible impetuosity, like a ball or a shell from the calibre ofa mortar. Sphinx was at this time quite sea-sick, and the unfortunatecount was driven forth like a sky-rocket, and landed upon the peak ofTeneriffe, plunged over head and ears in the snow--_requiescat in pace!_

  I perceived all this mischief from my seat in the ark, but was in such aconvulsion of laughter that I could not utter an intelligible word. Andnow Sphinx, deprived of her postillion, went on in a zigzag direction,and gambolled away after a most dreadful manner. And thus had everythinggone to wreck, had I not given instant orders to Gog and Magog to sallyforth. They plunged into the water, and swimming on each side, got atlength right before the animal, and then seized the reins. Thus theycontinued swimming on each side, like tritons, holding the muzzleof Sphinx, while I, sallying forth astride upon the creature's back,steered forward on our voyage to the Cape of Good Hope.

  Arriving at the Cape, I immediately gave orders to repair my formerchariot and machines, which were very expeditiously performed by theexcellent artists I had brought with me from Europe. And now everythingbeing refitted, we launched forth upon the water: perhaps there neverwas anything seen more glorious or more august. 'Twas magnificent tobehold Sphinx make her obeisance on the water, and the crickets chirpupon the bulls in return of the salute; while Gog and Magog, advancing,took the reins of the great John Mowmowsky, and leading towards uschariot and all, instantly disposed of them to the forepart of the arkby hooks and eyes, and tackled Sphinx before all the bulls. Thus thewhole had a most tremendous and triumphal appearance. In front floatedforwards the mighty Sphinx, with Gog and Magog on each side; nextfollowed in order the bulls with crickets upon their heads; and thenadvanced the chariot of Queen Mab, containing the curious seat andorrery of heaven; after which appeared the boat and ark of council,overtopped with two balloons, which gave an air of greater lightness andelegance to the whole. I placed in the galleries under the balloons, andon the backs of the bulls, a number of excellent vocal performers,with martial music of clarionets and trumpets. They sung the "WateryDangers," and the "Pomp of Deep Cerulean!" The sun shone glorious on thewater while the procession advanced toward the land, under five hundredarches of ice, illuminated with coloured lights, and adorned in the mostgrotesque and fanciful style with sea-weed, elegant festoons, and shellsof every kind; while a thousand water-spouts danced eternally beforeand after us, attracting the water from the sea in a kind of cone, andsuddenly uniting with the most fantastical thunder and lightning.

  Having landed our whole retinue, we immediately began to proceed towardthe heart of Africa, but first thought it expedient to place a number ofwheels under the ark for its greater facility of advancing. We journeyednearly due north for several days, and met with nothing remarkableexcept the astonishment of the savage natives to behold our equipage.

  The Dutch Government at the Cape, to do them justice, gave us everypossible assistance for the expedition. I presume they had receivedinstruction on that head from their High Mightinesses in Holland.However, they presented us with a specimen of some of the most excellentof their Cape wine, and showed us every politeness in their power. Asto the face of the country, as we advanced, it appeared in many placescapable of every cultivation, and of abundant fertility. The nativesand Hottentots of this part of Africa have been frequently describedby travellers, and therefore it is not necessary to say any more aboutthem. But in the more interior parts of Africa the appearance, manners,and genius of the people are totally different.

  We directed our course by the compass and the stars, getting everyday prodigious quantities of game in the woods, and at night encampingwithin a proper enclosure for fear of the wild beasts. One whole day inparticular we heard on every side, among the hills, the horrible roaringof lions, resounding from rock to rock like broken thunder. It seemedas if there was a general rendezvous of all these savage animals to fallupon our party. That whole day we advanced with caution, our huntersscarcely venturing beyond pistol shot from the caravan for fear ofdissolution. At night we encamped as usual, and threw up a circularentrenchment round our tents. We had scarce retired to repose when wefound ourselves serenaded by at least one thousand lions, approachingequally on every side, and within a hundred paces. Our cattle showed themost horrible symptoms of fear, all trembling, and in cold perspiration.I directly ordered the whole company to stand to their arms, and not tomake any noise by firing till I should command them. I then took a largequantity of tar, which I had brought with our caravan for that purpose,and strewed it in a continued stream round the encampment, within whichcircle of tar I immediately placed another train or circle of gunpowder,and having taken this precaution, I anxiously waited the lions'approach. These dreadful animals, knowing, I presume, the force of ourtroop, advanced very slowly, and with caution, approaching on everyside of us with an equal pace, and growling in hideous concert, so asto resemble an earthquake, or some similar convulsion of the world. Whenthey had at length advanced and steeped all their paws in the tar, theyput their noses to it, smelling it as if it were blood, and daubed theirgreat bushy hair and whiskers with it equal to their paws. At that veryinstant, when, in concert, they were to give the mortal dart upon us, Idischarged a pistol at the train of gunpowder, which instantly explodedon every side, made all the lions recoil in general uproar, and take toflight with the utmost precipitation. In an instant we could beholdthem scattered through the woods at some distance, roaring in agony, andmoving about like so many Will-o'-the-Wisps, their paws and faces all onfire from the tar and the gun-powder. I then ordered a general pursuit:we followed them on every side through the woods, their own lightserving as our guide, until, before the rising of the sun, we followedinto their fastnesses and shot or otherwise destroyed every one of them,and during the whole of our journey after we never heard the roaring ofa lion, nor did any wild beast presume to make another attack upon ourparty, which shows the excellence of immediate presence of mind, andthe terror inspired into the savage enemies by a proper and well-timedproceeding.

  We at length arrived on the confines of
an immeasurable desert--animmense plain, extending on every side of us like an ocean. Not a tree,nor a shrub, nor a blade of grass was to be seen, but all appeared anextreme fine sand, mixed with gold-dust and little sparkling pearls.

  The gold-dust and pearls appeared to us of little value, because wecould have no expectation of returning to England for a considerabletime. We observed, at a great distance, something like a smoke arisingjust over the verge of the horizon, and looking with our telescopes weperceived it to be a whirlwind tearing up the sand and tossing it aboutin the heavens with frightful impetuosity. I immediately ordered mycompany to erect a mound around us of a great size, which we did withastonishing labour and perseverance, and then roofed it over withcertain planks and timber, which we had with us for the purpose. Ourlabour was scarcely finished when the sand came rolling in like thewaves of the sea; 'twas a storm and river of sand united. It continuedto advance in the same direction, without intermission, for three days,and completely covered over the mound we had erected, and buried us allwithin. The intense heat of the place was intolerable; but guessing,by the cessation of the noise, that the storm was passed, we set aboutdigging a passage to the light of day again, which we effected in avery short time, and ascending, perceived that the whole had been socompletely covered with the sand, that there appeared no hills, but onecontinued plain, with inequalities or ridges on it like the waves of thesea. We soon extricated our vehicle and retinue from the burning sands,but not without great danger, as the heat was very violent, and began toproceed on our voyage. Storms of sand of a similar nature several timesattacked us, but by using the same precautions we preserved ourselvesrepeatedly from destruction. Having travelled more than nine thousandmiles over this inhospitable plain, exposed to the perpendicular rays ofa burning sun, without ever meeting a rivulet, or a shower from heavento refresh us, we at length became almost desperate, when, to ourinexpressible joy, we beheld some mountains at a great distance, and onour nearer approach observed them covered with a carpet of verdure andgroves and woods. Nothing could appear more romantic or beautiful thanthe rocks and precipices intermingled with flowers and shrubs of everykind, and palm-trees of such a prodigious size as to surpass anythingever seen in Europe. Fruits of all kinds appeared growing wild in theutmost abundance, and antelopes and sheep and buffaloes wandered aboutthe groves and valleys in profusion. The trees resounded with the melodyof birds, and everything displayed a general scene of rural happinessand joy.