The Perks of Kissing You (Perks Book 3)

by Stephanie Street

  Jamie’s chin backed up into his neck. “Not any of my business. How is you liking someone not my business? You’re my best friend.” He looked truly mystified.

  Wow. I crossed my arms over my chest. “So, we’re all up in each other’s business, now? Is that it?” I took a step forward, thrusting my chin up until he was forced back a step to keep looking me in the eye.

  “Um-” His eyes skittered around my face, over my shoulder, and even over his own shoulder. Too bad. He’d dug this hole, there’d be no easy escape. In fact, this conversation had been a long time coming. He’d freaking poked the bear!

  “Because we could start talking about you and your make out harem if you want.” He looked well and afraid now. I jabbed a finger in his chest.

  Ouch.

  I’d use my fist next time.

  “I never said-” His eyes looked wild.

  “So, you don’t want to talk to me about the girls you make out with?” I let him think about that for all of a split second. “Or maybe you meant you just can’t believe anyone’s interested in me like that?” I took another step toward him. He was backed up against a tree that lined a side street on our block.

  “Oh, my gosh. I would never say that, Bailey.” Jamie stepped away from the tree and reached for me. He looked truly concerned.

  “You think it, though. You and Dallin both,” I said, brushing his hands away, certain I didn’t want him touching me. Jamie shook his head. He looked shell-shocked. But I wasn’t finished. Maybe it was the stress at home. Or the knowledge that we’d begun our senior year and my chances to change the way Jamie saw me were dwindling. Maybe I was still stinging from the harsh words from those cheerleaders this morning. Whatever it was, I was on a roll and screw the consequences.

  Jamie opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off. “Do you think I’m stupid, Jamie. That I don’t know what you think about me?” Growling with pure frustration, I twirled away from him and stared into the darkening sky. “You have kissed half the girls at our school,” I accused him, my shoulders slumping with my words. Keeping my back to him, I inhaled a slow, deep, cleansing breath. This was it. I turned around to face him. “You’ve kissed all of them. You don’t even like them. They don’t mean anything to you and you’ve never kissed me.”

  Jamie

  When we were kids, we used to play games in somebody’s backyard. All these stupid games where you had to freeze. Statue. Freeze tag and all its variations. They all involved running around like a chicken with its head cut off until you got tagged and had to freeze. The only problem was your eight-year-old body couldn’t quite stop moving enough to be considered frozen for more than about a second. And so, you moved. You wiggled. Your eyes darted. Your head bobbed as you searched for someone on your team to come and unfreeze you. Your whole body just couldn’t seem to stop moving, but as long as your feet stayed where they were, you were good.

  When Bailey uttered the words you’ve never kissed me, my entire being completely froze. And my eighteen-year-old body knew how it was done. I didn't bat an eyelash. In fact, I was certain even my heart had stopped.

  The only thing moving, scrambling, racing, was my brain. My stupid, stupid brain. My thoughts were on overdrive. And I couldn’t make sense of a single one of them, but it wouldn’t stop, either.

  In the middle of my manic thoughts, the words, Kiss Bailey? were on repeat.

  How had this happened?

  Kiss Bailey?

  How did this walk get so derailed?

  Kiss Bailey?

  Bailey was my best friend.

  Kiss Bailey?

  Did Bailey want me to kiss her?

  Kiss Bailey?

  Did I want to kiss Bailey?

  Whoa!

  Whoa!

  Slow down there, buddy.

  What the- Pretty much every expletive I’d ever heard in the locker room ran across my consciousness.

  And all this in a matter of about three seconds.

  Kiss Bailey?

  An abbreviated version of the last fifteen minutes flitted through my mind and still...nothing. I still couldn’t make sense of any of it. Freaking kiss Bailey?!

  I was honest enough with myself to admit I’d never once in all the years I’d known Bailey, ever thought about kissing her. Good hell, just a few nights ago I fell asleep with her curled in my arms and it never even registered to think of her like that.

  Maybe everyone was right. Maybe I didn’t know Bailey was a girl. Ugh, of course, she was a girl, but she was Bailey. My ever-loving best friend Bailey. Not girlfriend material Bailey.

  In the course of about five seconds my whole existence had been flipped. Right there in front of Mr. and Mrs. Carter’s house down the block, staring into her grass green eyes (did I even know they were green before?), I was suddenly flooded with an awareness of Bailey.

  My brain emptied. My focus sharpened, narrowed. My frozen muscles tensed. Every sense was tuned to the girl before me. And I wondered how I’d ever overlooked her.

  I’d never had a conscious thought about Bailey’s looks before other than to register how well equipped she was for our planned activities. Now, she’d put the thought in my head. Forced me to look deeper into myself, my feelings for her, our relationship. Possibilities. My initial reaction was to rebel, close my eyes to her fiery hair and smooth creamy skin. The only problem was I already knew her skin was soft. I’d never been affected by it, but the memory made my fingers itch to reach out and touch her cheek.

  I catalogued her features. High cheekbones. Heart shaped face. Delicate brows. Slender neck. Narrow shoulders. Lean, fit runner’s body with- my eyes widened as I (unwillingly!) noticed frickin sweet curves.

  “I have to go.” It was almost dark and I couldn’t leave her alone on the street. Grabbing her wrist, I half dragged her along behind me.

  “What are you doing? Let go!” Bailey dug in her heels. Literally. That was okay. The girl was teeny. A pocket girl. I could stuff her in the pouch of my hoodie if I wanted.

  “I’m going home and I’m not leaving you out here alone. Let’s go.” With very little effort, I yanked her along.

  “I don’t need you protecting me, Jamie, you jerk!” Her teeny, pocket fist pounded on my back.

  All I had to do was deposit her on her porch and get away. Without kissing her. Or thinking about kissing her. Shit. I was losing my mind. With one little statement, my best friend had killed me.

  You’ve never kissed me!

  And I wasn’t about to start now. Even though my eyes hadn’t missed her plump, red lips during its completely inappropriate assessment of the girl next door and I’d fleetingly pondered doing just that.

  Hormones were a freaking bitch.

  “Too bad, Bales. I don’t feel like walking anymore and my father would kick my ass from the grave if I left you out here on your own.” My dad loved Bailey.

  We were almost to her yard, we hadn’t gone far at all to begin with. I didn’t even pause. Just dropped her wrist like she was a burning, hot coal and got the hell out of there, leaving her sputtering behind me.

  Chapter 8

  Bailey

  Stunned, I stood on my front lawn, rooted to the ground as Jamie literally ran away from me. What had I done? A sense of dread settled over me. I needed to sit. Making my way to our front porch, I dropped into a chair.

  For the second time in as many days, I wished I had girl friends. If I was a normal girl, one that guys like Jamie wanted to kiss, I’d be in my room already, eating out of an ice cream carton and on the phone with my best girl friend who would recommend a day of retail therapy to solve all my boy woes.

  However, I wasn’t a normal girl, that much was apparent, and my two best friends were dudes.

  I knew most of Jamie’s facial expressions, but I’d never seen that particular brand of horrified before. And I was terrified.

  I let my temper get the best of me, that’s what happened.

  Who was I kidding?

  I let my f
eelings for Jamie loose, that was the real deal. I let my emotions run over my control. This crush, or whatever it was, it was bigger than me. It was us. Jamie and me. Our friendship. I vowed to myself years ago I wouldn’t risk our friendship unless Jamie gave me some clue, some inkling he might return my feelings even a little. But he hadn’t. Ever. Not one spark of interest. Not one smidgen of awareness.

  I’d been okay with that for the most part. But something about watching him wander into the corner of someone’s basement or off into the woods with some girl he didn’t even like, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I loved him. I was freaking in love with him. Why couldn’t he see what was right in front of him?

  I might be able to let it go if we’d even had a shot. Like Dallin. Who was I kidding? Kissing Jamie would be nothing like kissing Dallin had been. I felt more sparks when our arms brushed as Jamie and I ran together than I did when Dallin’s lips met mine two years ago.

  But I’d be okay. I’d be just fine if we tried and it wasn’t the same for Jamie as it was for me. I wanted him to be happy. Maybe that’s one of the reasons I’d kept my feelings to myself all this time. I kept thinking one of these days one of the girls he kissed would be the one he’d fall for. But he never did. He held himself back.

  More than anything, I was worried about losing him. Jamie was such fixture in my life. We’d been through a lot. When we met, we were both new to the neighborhood. We were the same age. We were both going through changes that were difficult in a new place. His mom was recovering from the accident that had left her paralyzed. Their whole family was adjusting and Jamie was young and confused and hurt. He needed a friend. My mom had just married Jerry. Jerry was a good guy, but I was used to it just being Mom and me. It was hard and I often felt left out. I needed a friend.

  We were inseparable for years. We were still mostly inseparable. And I’d just risked it all because I was angry and jealous. The thought made me cringe. I didn’t want to be such a girl. A catty girl. One that took her own issues out on someone else. Jamie couldn’t help the way he felt, or in this case didn’t feel. He was completely unaware of my feelings and I’d all but called him out for both things. Turns out, I was the jerk.

  Moisture flooded my eyes. Had I ruined everything? There had been a lot of fights and arguments over the years, but nothing like this. How would I ever survive if this was the end of our friendship?

  Jamie

  My mom wasn’t a complete agoraphobe, but she was close. For that reason, it was easier than one might think to keep my football playing activities on the down low. She had no idea. Before school started, the practices for football coincided with the cross-country practice and lifting schedule, so I hadn’t had to alter my routine at all. Once school started, every sport practiced right after school, so that wasn’t any different than usual. Hiding my equipment had been easy, too, since she never ventured into the basement. I even had my own washer and dryer hookup, so I took care of cleaning my practice clothes without her being any wiser.

  I was hiding it, sure, but if she found out, I wasn’t going to get upset about it. I couldn’t lie forever. She was going to see it somewhere. I just wanted it to be after our first game. I wanted to at least prove to myself I could play in a game and maybe even win.

  I should probably feel guiltier than I did, but I didn’t. At. All. In fact, I was having the time of my life. Coach was happy with my performance at practice and I got along with my teammates. The scrimmage last week had highlighted our flaws and I’d been working on correcting mine with a vengeance. Staying late. Watching film in my spare time. Working my ass off. Mom was in the middle of a huge deadline and barely poked her head out of her office except when her personal trainer came over and to go to the bathroom. I’d been restocking her mini-fridge with microwave dinners and her favorite diet soda and that was about all I saw of her.

  I had nothing to complain about.

  Except my relationship with Bailey.

  Awkward didn’t even begin to cover what was going on between us and I wished I knew how to fix it. We weren’t hanging out like we used to and anytime we were forced into situations where we had to be around each other, we chose not to talk. There had been some incredibly silent drives to school this week and I hated it. I also didn’t know how to fix it.

  “Dude, what’s up with you and Bailey?” Dallin asked as he burst into my room. It was Thursday and practice had ended earlier than usual because of our Friday night game. Our first real game with me as the starting quarterback.

  “What do you mean?” I didn’t even bother to sit up from my prone position on my bed. I might love football, but it was killing me. I forgot how much it hurt.

  Dallin gave me a look. “You. And Bailey. And whatever weird vibe you guys have going on. What gives?”

  “Nothing.” Talking to Dallin about my messed up thoughts about Bailey was not an option. We’d never discussed it, but there was this unspoken agreement that everyone was strictly in the friend zone.

  Dallin groaned and rolled his eyes with an exaggerated motion that involved his whole body flopping over on the floor. “You are such a liar. I know you both too well and there is definitely something going on. Did you have a fight?”

  I thought about that for just a second too long. “No.”

  And Dallin pounced on it. “You did have a fight?” he asked as though I hadn’t said anything. “About what?”

  “We didn’t have a fight, dillweed.” Freaking Dallin.

  “You totally did. Come to think of it, the last time you two acted like this, it was the summer between sixth and seventh grade and you kept snapping the strap on her training bra. She didn’t talk to you for two weeks.” Dallin laughed at the memory. But it wasn’t funny. It was even less funny now when Bailey and I were all awkward because she thought I didn’t see her like I saw other girls. Because I haven’t kissed her.

  It was all kinds of mess up.

  “Shut up.” I wasn’t in the mood for this. Dallin was my best friend, but if he didn’t stop I was going to kick him out of my house.

  “Whatever, asshat. You need to fix it. You guys aren’t the only ones in this friendship, you know. It affects other people.”

  “All I know is that you better stop talking about this and find a game to play or you have to leave.”

  “Yeah, I heard the same thing from Bailey about three hours ago.” Dallin sighed. “Okay, I’ll let it go for now, but man, you gotta fix this.”

  I didn’t have to do anything. Bailey and I just needed space. Sure, things were weird now, but I knew it was just a matter of time and Bailey would be giving me crap about my music choices as we rode to school instead of staring out the window in stony silence.

  I couldn’t be worried about that right now, though. Tonight was our first game and I needed to be focused. Last year, Connor led our team to the State Championship. Our first game tonight was a rematch against our opponents from the Championship game. I figured they were out for blood since Connor demolished them almost single-handedly. It didn’t matter. I had something to prove. If we lost tonight, it wasn’t going to be because of me.

  “Hey, Jamie,” Elise Bradshaw said as she sidled up beside me at my locker. The last bell had just rung and I was planning to go home and hydrate before the game while going over the playbook for the hundred and fiftieth time.

  “Hi. What’s up?” Elise was gorgeous, smart, and funny. One major perk of being on the football team? It was much sexier than cross country. I’d never had trouble talking to girls or finding someone to hang out with (make out with), but my new status at school had moved me from a chuck roast to a T-Bone steak in the high school meat market. And who was I to complain.

  “Just wondering if you were going to Mike’s party after the game?”

  Elise’s body language said this wasn’t a casual question. It was more like an invitation. I couldn’t come out and say yes, because that was as good as asking her out myself and I wasn’t about to do that. I was just lo
oking for fun. That was it.

  I shrugged. “I might make an appearance.” That didn’t sound cocky or anything. Geez. Where was Bailey when I needed her to call me out on my own bull?

  Elise smiled coyly. Well versed in the game as me, she wasn’t discouraged. “Good. I hope to see you there.” She turned to leave, pausing just long enough to give me a not so subtle once over. “Good luck at the game, Jamie.”

  “Thanks, Elise,” I replied, returning the favor. Elise was on the school’s dance team and knew exactly how to move her body to maximum benefit. Sheesh.

  Shaking my head to clear it, I worked to convince myself to focus on football and not soft female curves.

  “Already looking for your next hook-up, James?” Bailey dropped her bag on the floor next to my locker, her eyes watching as Elise walked away.

  “Just being friendly, Bales,” I replied, trying to ignore the censure in her voice. The truth was I hadn’t kissed anyone since that ill-fated night with Bailey earlier this week. And not for lack of opportunity. Somehow, mindless making out didn’t seem as appealing as it had and I blamed my best friend for ruining my favorite past time by putting thoughts in my head.

  “Right,” she replied tonelessly. “You about ready to go?”

  “Don’t you have practice?” Coach Danner hadn’t been happy at all when I told him I was leaving the cross-country team for football. I felt bad, but not bad enough to give up football.

  “I twisted my ankle line dancing in P.E. Can you give me a ride? I guess I should have checked with you.” This was the part of our recent awkwardness I could do without. The last thing I wanted was for Bailey to be all tentative around me. It wasn’t us. It wasn’t her.

  “Of course, I can give you a ride.” I finished digging in my locker for the homework I needed to finish over the weekend and then slammed the metal door closed. “Let’s go.”

  “Are you nervous about tonight?” Bailey was trying to be as supportive of my football career as she could. I knew she worried that I hadn’t talked to my mom about it, but she was happy for me that I was playing.