The Perks of Kissing You (Perks Book 3)

by Stephanie Street

  “Yeah.” It was no use lying. She’d see right through that.

  “You’re gonna be great.” I knew she meant what she said, too, and I was grateful. I needed Bailey on my side.

  “We’ll see.

  Chapter 9

  Bailey

  Of course, Jamie was great. He played like he’d never left the game. And we won! After it was all over, it was like the entire home bleachers breathed a huge sigh of relief. Sure, it was just one game. But it was just one game against the other team in our conference that had also made it to the State Championship game last year. I knew players, like Dallin, had been anxious about this season, not wanting to lose scholarship opportunities because of a losing record.

  Hopefully, they’d be able to keep winning. I knew Jamie would continue to lay it all on the table, or field, at least until his mom found out and crap hit the fan. I wished he would just talk to her about it rather than go behind her back, but I kind of understood why he didn’t, too. I didn’t know Mrs. Barnes before her injury, but I did know her before Jamie’s dad died. She just wasn’t the same, neither of them were, but she’d been affected in different ways. Working more. Barely leaving their house. I couldn’t remember the last time I was over at Jamie’s house and she wasn’t in her office working on her next book.

  It was hard on Jamie. He worried about her. But he also didn’t want to live his life like she did. I got it. I really did. I was just concerned that when the final showdown came, neither of them would leave unscathed.

  Goodness. Why did I come to these parties? When was I ever going to learn? I was too tired. Too jealous. And to be honest, too mad. Jamie stood in the center of a crowd of popular girls and other guys from the team and I could just see the look in his eye. He was scoping out the babe pool. When I saw Elise walking away from his locker after school today, I figured it was a done deal and they’d be lip locked an hour after we got here, but Jamie was obviously keeping his options open.

  The dope.

  I wanted to leave. The whole scene was making me feel sick. It didn’t used to be like this. I knew things would change the older we got, but I didn’t think I would feel so awful about it. I missed the days of the three of us hanging out in Jamie’s basement playing video games and laughing and goofing around. I never thought we would outgrow each other, but looking at my best friends, I couldn’t help but think that was exactly what was happening.

  I was done with this. I didn’t need popular girls making me feel small because I had a conscience. I didn’t need to watch Jamie play girls. I didn’t need to watch Dallin getting drunk and crazy. It was time to go home.

  Feeling good about my decision, I made my way out of the house and into the cool night air and felt nothing but relief. I didn’t need to deal with fake issues. I had enough real ones knocking at my door.

  I wasn’t a crier. I didn’t cry. Ever. Like anyone I’ve had my emotional ups and downs, but for the most part, I’ve been able to handle the downs with a run to clear my head or with some quality time with the guys.

  But this time it was one of the guys who was the source of my emotional low, so that was out. Which was why I was currently sobbing my heart out on my bed after running away from Mike’s party.

  “Bailey.” Jerry’s gruff voice was accompanied by a soft knock on my door.

  Great.

  “Yeah?”

  “Can I come in?”

  I could say no. But if I did, he would just go get Mom and she was already asleep in her room and that would make me feel worse than talking to him. Mostly. Jerry was a nice guy. I liked him. I probably even loved him. He’d legally adopted me when I was seven and was really the only dad I’d ever known. But we didn’t really confide.

  I hastily wiped my eyes with the corner of my blanket and brushed damp tendrils of hair away from my face. Not that anything I could do would help.

  “Sure,” I called out, trying to keep my voice light. I wasn’t fooling anyone.

  My door squeaked open and my dad poked his head through the opening. His tentative gaze flitted around the room as though he was looking for explosives.

  No explosives.

  Just an emotional basket case.

  I sat up in the center of my bed and tried for a welcoming smile.

  Jerry’s frown deepened. He studied my red and puffy face, I didn’t have to see it to know what it looked like, and moved all the way into my room, leaving the door open a crack behind him.

  He grabbed the back of the rolling office chair in front of my desk and spun it around. “May I?”

  “Of course.” My voice had that scratchy, soggy quality that came from too many tears.

  After sitting down, Jerry steepled his hands in front of him with his elbows resting on his knees. “Look, kiddo, I know I’m not your mom. And maybe I’m a poor substitute for a dad, but you’ve been wandering around here all week like a wounded puppy and you gotta tell me what’s going on soon or I’m going to assume it’s something really bad and do something drastic.” He shot me a lopsided grin. “I don’t have any idea what that something drastic might be, but I have a feeling it might involve beating up one of your buddies and going to jail. So, are you gonna tell me and save me from a life of crime?”

  “Jamie’s eighteen. You could get away with punching him.” The words slipped out before I could stop them.

  Jerry sat back in my chair and folded his arms over his chest. His forehead wrinkled as his brows lowered over his eyes.

  “I was kind of just kidding, Bailey, but I’m not anymore. What’s going on? Did Jamie do something to hurt you?”

  He doesn’t love me!

  Of course, there was no way I was revealing that bit of news to Jerry, but now I was going to have to give him something or I was certain he’d follow up on his threat and have a man to man talk with my best friend.

  “It’s nothing that bad,” I reassured him, but by the deepening of his grimace, I wasn’t doing a very good job.

  “No. No, I’m serious. It was just a misunderstanding and it was probably my fault. I just feel bad about it and don’t know how to fix it.” That was almost the truth. As satisfying as it might be to watch Jerry bonk Jamie on the head, it wouldn’t solve any of my issues. I was going to have to do that on my own.

  I kept my expression earnest as his eyes flicked back and forth between mine. He must have believed me because his posture relaxed a hair.

  “Anything I can help with?” The offer was sincere, but the look on his face said talking to me about boys ranked up there with buying feminine products. If I needed him, I knew Jerry would have my back, but as far as emotional support I was going to be better off waiting to talk to Mom. Or better yet, keeping it to myself.

  “No,” I answered, shaking my head. “I’m sure we’ll work things out. We always do.”

  “Okay.” Jerry slapped his hands down on his knees. “As long as you’re sure?”

  “I’m sure.” Actually, I wasn’t sure about anything, but I wasn’t about to tell Jerry that. It was enough that he’d braved the bedroom of a crying teenage girl.

  “Alright, well, I’m going to take advantage of a quiet house and watch some tv.” It was late and all the kids were asleep, even Delia. I couldn’t blame the guy for wanting some quality time with the sports channel.

  “Thanks, Dad. Good night.”

  He paused in my doorway and cleared his throat. “Hey, Bailey. I don’t tell you enough, but I appreciate all you do to help out around here. You go above and beyond and your mom and I both are glad to have you on our team.”

  My cheeks flushed. I wasn’t accustomed to accepting praise, especially not from Jerry. He was nice, but quiet, and usually the no news was good news type, so unless he had a criticism about something, he didn’t say much.

  “Thanks, and for the record you’re not a poor substitute at all.” Things were getting gooey.

  Jerry smiled softly as he made his way to the door, stopping just short of exiting. “Oh, and Bales?
”

  I lifted my head from my pillow. “Yeah?”

  “I don’t think you have to worry about Jamie being an idiot forever. He’ll figure it out.” And then he closed the door with a parting wink.

  For goodness sake!

  Jamie

  Have you seen Bailey?

  I texted Dallin who was playing some drinking game at the pool table. He wasn’t completely toasted, but it was a close thing. I’d only had half a beer when I walked into the party a couple of hours ago and never had a chance to refresh my cup. Since when had the girls from school turned into such vultures? I haven’t been able to escape them all night.

  I finally gave the excuse of having to go to the bathroom to get away, even though I half expected a few of them to follow me. Thankfully, a guy could still pee in peace around here and I locked myself in an upstairs bathroom away from the crowd for a good ten minutes. Taking a seat on the edge of the bathtub, I let my head fall into my hands.

  Usually, at this point in the party, I’ve already found a willing girl to flirt with and kiss. Tonight, it wouldn’t have taken any time at all. In fact, I could have skipped the party altogether and spent the evening with Elise in the backseat of my car in the school parking lot. She’d been coming on strong all day.

  But it just felt wrong. This summer, things had been different. Everyone was just out for a good time, nothing serious. Now that the school year had started, I felt like I was getting looks. Commitment looks. That went against everything NCMO stood for. It went against everything I stood for. It hadn’t always been that way, but well, after last year and everything with my dad and mom, hell even Allie...I just kind of gave up on relationships. They only led to heartbreak. Just look at my mom. I heard her again the other night, crying and crying. Crying so much, I didn’t know how she had any more tears left and still, she kept going.

  If that wasn’t a free advertisement for remaining single, I didn’t know what was. But I still like kissing. I still liked girls. They were a pleasant distraction from all the stress in my life. I didn’t mean for it to happen. It just kind of did. And then I got such a reputation for it, girls were seeking me out. I kind of got it that it was a challenge for them. Over the summer, I thought there might even be a bet going on about who could get me to commit to a relationship, there were that many girls willing to make out with me.

  Ha. Or maybe I was just that good of a kisser. I’ve had enough practice, that was for sure.

  Whatever. I wasn’t complaining.

  But something had changed.

  Bailey.

  So, even when Elise practically threw herself at me lips first, I couldn’t follow through.

  And now, I just wanted to see Bailey. But I had no idea where she was.

  Nope, he finally replied. You got her? Do I need to find her?

  We both felt responsible for Bailey whenever we went to parties, or anywhere else, for that matter. I knew Dallin would drop what he was doing to make sure Bailey was okay. Honestly, finding her was just the excuse I needed.

  I got it. I’ll let you know.

  He responded with a thumbs up.

  Gathering up my courage to face the crowd, I exited the bathroom and went in search of my friend. People tried to stop me to talk, but I just smiled and kept moving my feet. Stopping would be a mistake that could cost me twenty minutes. I really needed to find Bailey. After searching the whole house and the yard in front and back, I began feeling anxious.

  Could she have left?

  Would she do that without telling one of us?

  Not under normal circumstances, Bailey would never do that. She knows we would worry about her. What if something was wrong? Moving faster, I started toward my car. Fishing my phone out of my pocket, I tried to call her. I should have done that in the first place. It rang a couple of times before going to voicemail. But I could tell from the way the ringing cut off, Bailey had declined the call.

  What the?

  I tapped the call button on my screen again. This time it went straight to voicemail without ringing. She was screening my calls.

  Don’t panic.

  I had no reason to believe anything was wrong. She probably was just tired and wanted to go home.

  But why didn’t she tell us?

  I’d been surrounded by people all night, but it wasn’t like I would have cared if she’d interrupted. I would have given her a ride. Or walked with her. It was dark outside. I would have been happy to go with her, to tell the truth. And Dallin. For goodness sake, even drunk, he could have and would have walked her home.

  Our parties were fairly tame, but any jerk could have been lurking around waiting for the opportunity to find some girl alone, in the dark. Shuddering at the thought, I raced home.

  I parked in my own driveway, but headed straight to Bailey’s. The little light beside her bed was on, casting a warm glow on her closed curtains through the window. I felt a small measure of relief knowing she was probably home.

  Peeking in the front window, I saw her step-dad, Jerry, asleep on the couch in front of the television. There was no other sign of anyone being awake. Instead of entering the house through the front door, I walked around to the back. There was a staircase in the kitchen that led right to Bailey’s room.

  After letting myself in the back door, I slipped off my shoes and made my way up the stairs, stopping just outside Bailey’s door.

  Now that I was here, I hesitated. I wanted to see her. I wanted to talk to her. But I was also nervous. Things had been so weird between us; our friendship was off. The fact that she left the party without even telling me was proof enough of that. But I was worried. I wanted to make sure she was okay. I wanted to make sure we were okay.

  Admonishing myself to stop being a freaking coward, I tapped lightly on Bailey’s door with my knuckle.

  Chapter 10

  Bailey

  After chatting with Jerry, I got ready for bed, changing into a pair of short shorts and a tank and one of Jamie’s hoodies. Of course. As much as I wanted to strangle the boy, I still loved him. And I needed the comfort of being wrapped up in something that was his.

  I was on my phone looking up some stuff when my phone rang and I saw it was him. I panicked, declining the call and powering off my phone. If I was thinking, I would have just texted and told him I was feeling sick or something and walked home so he wouldn’t worry. But I didn’t and now I was pretty sure he was standing outside my bedroom door.

  Damn it!

  “Come in!” I whisper shouted from my bed. No way was I getting out of these covers.

  The door opened a crack and Jamie’s dark-haired head poked through the opening. His eyes met mine immediately. The first thing I registered in them was relief and then frustration. He entered the room the rest of the way and closed the door softly behind him. I noticed he locked it before making his way to the side of my bed.

  He opened his mouth to speak.

  “I’m sorry,” I rushed to say before he could say anything.

  His shoulders dropped as he sighed. “I was really worried about you, Bales.”

  Suddenly, my little temper tantrum seemed juvenile. I knew Jamie would worry and part of me wanted to make him worry. Part of me wanted to make him think about me and not all the stupid girls hanging around him. It was dumb. And reckless. And unkind. Jamie hadn’t done anything to deserve that.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you worry.” Although, I kind of had. “I just- I just needed to leave.”

  He stared down at me for a few seconds then gestured for me to scoot over. I shifted to one side of the bed to make room for him next to me. He stretched out on top of the covers, on his side so he faced me.

  “Bales, I know we live in a safe neighborhood, but anything could have happened to you. I would never forgive myself if you got hurt. You should have told one of us.” He reached out to pick up a lock of my hair, the action so familiar, it made me ache inside.

  “I’m sorry.” I didn’t know what el
se to say and I hoped he wouldn’t ask for more because I had no idea how I would answer. Things were still weird between us. It was a testament to how strong our friendship really was that Jamie was even here, staring at me with worried eyes.

  He let go of my hair and tucked his hands under his cheek making him look as young as Preston.

  “Why’d you leave?”

  I could have answered. I could have gone down the road of all the reasons it sucked to be there when Jamie was fixing to hook up with some girl that wasn’t me. But I didn’t. I just laid there looking into his eyes.

  It was dangerous territory.

  I’d been thinking of something ever since I called him out on not kissing me. On not wanting to kiss me. I probably should have felt desperate or lame for having to go to such extreme measures for the boy to notice I was a living breathing girl and not just his childhood playmate. I just had this feeling, this persistent itch, that if I was to take this risk, if I just laid it all out there- I might get what I’ve always wanted.

  Jamie.

  Before I could stop myself, I took the first step down that road.

  “Did you know according to some websites, there are one hundred and fifty-five different types of kisses?” Yeah, I opened with that.

  Jamie

  For the second time in as many weeks, Bailey threw me off so thoroughly, I was literally frozen. That was not at all what I thought she was going to say. I was thinking maybe I’d get some vague reference to girl stuff or an upset stomach or something. But not that. Kissing again?

  Without my permission, my eyes drifted her lips. They were covered with the strawberry flavored Lip Smackers she preferred. I’d borrowed it enough, I already knew what it tasted like, but for the first time ever, I wondered what it tasted like on her.

  What was I thinking?