Hazel shrugged and followed her mother into the front parlour.
Martha took a deep breath and seemed to gather her composure. “We should all sit down.” She sank into her usual chair by the fireplace.
Hazel and Norman sat together on the sofa in the gloomy room. Hazel felt her heart pounding and knew that whatever her mother was about to tell them was going to be bad. She’d never heard her father yell so loudly or get so angry about anything before.
When Donald Harris came into the room, he stumbled and caught the back of his wife’s chair to steady himself. “Martha…” He clutched a hand to his chest and fell to the floor.
“Donald!”
Hazel watched her mother jump from her chair and kneel by her father’s side.
Her father grimaced; his face grey and creased with pain. “I’m sorry, Martha,” he said and gasped. “I think this might be it. Oh, God, it hurts like hell.”
“Try not to talk, my love.” Martha stroked her husband’s clammy brow. “Save your strength. We’ll get the doctor.”
Donald gasped again and moaned. “This feels worse than last time,” he spoke in halting gasps. “I love you, Martha,” he whispered before grimacing again.
“I know you do, my love.” Martha gripped her husband’s hand. “Stay with me.”
“What’s happening, Mam?” Norman asked. “What’s wrong with Dad?”
Martha glanced up at her children with fear in her eyes. “I think he’s having another heart attack.”
“I’ll run for the doctor.” Hazel dashed from the room, taking one last look at her father on the floor. “Don’t you die on me, Dad.”
She ran as fast as her legs would carry her, seeing flashbacks in her mind to the last time she’d run this route a couple of weeks ago. This time there was a deeper urgency to her stride. Her beloved dad might be dying.
When she reached the doctor’s house, she banged on the door loudly enough to wake the dead. “Hurry, my dad’s having a heart attack!” she yelled as she continued knocking.
“All right, all right!” The doctor opened the door himself and already had his bag in his hand. “You again!”
“Aye, this time it’s my dad.” She moved to let the man hurry past her. “You will hurry, won’t you? Mam said he’s having a heart attack!” The doctor was already running down the street, and she yelled at his hastily retreating back, “He’s in a lot of pain, doctor. Please hurry.”
She tried to keep up with the man as he ran ahead of her, but she was getting a pain in her side. She limped and ran a few more steps, but realised she would have to stop. She didn’t want to harm her baby. Reluctantly, she slowed to a walk, holding her side to try to ease the stitch.
As she walked along the street near the Crown public-house, she was reminded of the awful night of Raymond’s attack. Glenn had been hiding in the shadows that night but still insisted he had nothing to do with the assault. Could he be telling the truth, she wondered? Perhaps it was a random act of hooliganism, and poor Raymond was the victim of some mindless brutes who beat him up to get to his savings. She realised she might never know the truth.
Did it matter now anyway? Glenn had made it clear that if she didn’t go to see him last night, he would end their affair. She didn’t go, so now believed she would never see him again. Where did that leave her? She took a shuddering breath.
Her father could be dying. She should be thinking about him, but her thoughts were full of Glenn, the baby and poor Raymond who had just been thrown out of the house. Why did her father do that? She thought her dad liked Raymond. Everyone liked Raymond. He was kind and thoughtful and always the first to help anyone in need. He helped the vicar in church. He offered to marry her to keep her from having to marry Glenn and to save her reputation. Did she want to marry Raymond? She had thought she wanted Glenn. Was her dad going to be all right? How would she tell her parents about the baby now? She couldn’t tell her dad. He was having a heart attack. Would he survive? Oh, Lord, she had to run. She had to get back home.
As she tried to pick up speed, Hazel’s head was crammed with conflicting thoughts that swam around in no particular order. Glenn was the man who set her pulse racing, but Raymond was the dependable one. Raymond would take care of her and the baby, but she had no idea what Glenn would want to do about the situation if he should ever find out about her pregnancy. If her dad found out she was having a baby, it might finish him off, if he wasn’t dead already.
She sobbed and hurried on. Her dad couldn’t die. He just couldn’t. It would be her fault if he did. If Raymond hadn’t asked to marry her, he wouldn’t have had the heart attack. They all knew they had to make sure he didn’t suffer any stress. The doctor told them after the last attack that his heart might not withstand another one. He got out of breath easily and couldn’t walk far without his stick, but other than that he seemed fine. It was easy to forget he had a heart problem. He still held down a good job. Her dad always seemed strong and capable and in control. To see him on the floor, and in so much pain had been terrible.
“Oh, Dad!” She began to run again, holding her side and gasping for every breath. She had to get home.
When she rounded the corner, it seemed the whole street was outside her house. Neighbours were standing around talking in hushed tones. They moved aside to let her through as she neared the door. Hazel glanced at the sombre faces, and an icy fist seemed to take hold of her heart. She dashed inside to see the doctor writing something at the kitchen table. Her mother was standing beside the man with a handkerchief clutched to her cheek. Her Aunty Audrey, had an arm around Martha.
“Mam?” Hazel knew before she asked the question, but had to ask it anyway. “How’s Dad?”
She could see from the deep sorrow on her mother’s face that her father hadn’t survived. Hazel’s knees gave way, and she fell to the floor. “No! He can’t be dead!”
Eunice appeared, as if from nowhere and dropped to her knees beside Hazel. “The doctor couldn’t do anything, Hazel. He was gone before the doc arrived. Your dad’s heart wasn’t strong enough to take another attack. I’m so sorry, love.”
Hazel felt arms enfold her, but a numbness was creeping through her body. “It’s all my fault.” The guilt rippled in her mind. “If I hadn’t agreed to let Raymond ask me to marry him, this would never have happened.”
Eunice pulled away quickly. “What are you talking about?”
“My dad didn’t want us to get married. He got angry.” She glanced at her mother. “I’m sorry, Mam. It’s all my fault. I didn’t know he’d get so cross. I didn’t mean to upset him. I thought he might be happy for us. I thought he liked Ray. I knew you’d both be surprised, but I thought you’d be happy that me and Ray wanted to get married. I didn’t know he’d get angry, Mam. I didn’t know he’d have a heart attack.” She clutched at Eunice for support as sobs racked her body.
Martha looked at Audrey, and both women gasped. “I should have told you,” Martha said to her friend. “It all happened so quickly.”
“Does she know?” Audrey’s voice was barely above a whisper. “Did you tell Raymond?”
Martha shook her head as tears fell down her face. “We can’t talk about this now. Donald is lying in the parlour and isn’t even cold yet. I can’t deal with this now!”
“Deal with what, Mam?” Hazel’s numbness was spreading to her fingers and toes. She felt she was in a dream. Nothing seemed real. The room swayed, and she tipped over.
The last thing she heard was the doctor’s voice. “She’s in shock! Clear a space!”
Chapter 21 – One Secret Revealed
Hazel woke up in her bed and wondered how she’d got there. Eunice was asleep in a chair next to the bed, and the house was silent. She wondered what had happened. Did she faint? She tried to remember the last thing she had done before coming to bed, but her mind was foggy.
Suddenly, she had a memory of her father struggling for breath on the floor of the parlour, and a wave of guilt washed over h
er.
She gasped and clutched a hand to her mouth. “Dad. Oh, Dad. I’m sorry.”
Her throat felt raw as she tried to stifle her sobs. She didn’t want to wake her friend. Poor Eunice must have been there all night. The light of dawn was beginning to show around the edges of the ill-fitting blackout curtains. How long had she been sleeping? She moved her head, and the walls of the room seemed to swell like ripples in the ocean making her feel ill. She swallowed the bile that rose to the back of her mouth and closed her eyes.
Eunice stirred and opened her eyes. “Oh, you’re awake. How are you feeling?”
“Sick.” Hazel pressed her lips together, but the bile kept rising.
“Here, I’ve got a bucket.”
Eunice thrust a bucket under her face and Hazel retched.
When she’d finished, her friend handed her a cloth. “You had us all worried. The doctor said you’d gone into shock.”
“The doctor?” Hazel’s brain began to spark into life. “I went to fetch him to my dad.” Her eyes sought her friend’s sad face, and her question was answered before she could form the words. “He died, didn’t he?” Tears filled her eyes. “Where’s Mam?”
“She’s sleeping. The doc gave you both something to make you sleep. My mam is with her. Norman is over at my house. Ray is looking after him.”
“Where’s my dad?”
“He’s downstairs. The undertakers will come this morning. The doctor arranged it all. Your mam wasn’t in any fit state to do anything once she found out about, err…” Eunice looked at Hazel’s belly. “Why didn’t you tell me about the baby?”
Hazel couldn’t look at her friend. “Who else knows about it?”
“My mam and yours. Norman was there too when the doc examined you.”
“Why would he examine me?”
“Because my mam noticed you were bleeding from down below, and you’d fainted. He asked your mam if your monthly was due and she said she didn’t keep track.”
Hazel began to worry about her baby. “What about the baby? Is it all right?”
Eunice smiled. “As far as we know. The doc said you were about three months gone and bleeding is common at this stage. When you came around, he told you to get plenty of rest. He said your baby would be all right if you take care of yourself.”
“I can’t remember coming around. What happened?”
“You started talking about killing your dad. Said you were responsible and that it was your fault he was dead. You began to scream and shout loud enough to wake the dead!” Eunice put her hand over her mouth. “Oh, Lord! Sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. Not with your dad lying downstairs.” Eunice looked mortified. “Oh, I’m sorry, love.”
Hazel couldn’t help smiling at her friend’s unfortunate choice of phrase. “What happened next?”
“Your mam collapsed in my mam’s arms, and the poor doc didn’t know which one of you to attend to first. He decided to give you both something to make you sleep. You know what men are like when women throw a hissy fit. The poor doc had two of you to deal with. You were still shouting all kinds of rubbish, and your mam was crying her eyes out. I think he thought it best to get you both to bed.”
“I don’t remember anything about that.” Hazel shook her head, but the walls began to move again, so she stopped.
Eunice moved the bucket to the door. “What’s all this about our Ray and you getting married? You kept that quiet!”
“It was Ray’s idea.”
“So it isn’t his baby.” Eunice sat on the edge of the bed. “I didn’t think it was, but my mam is convinced Ray’s the father and she’s more upset about that than you could imagine.”
“It’s Glenn’s baby. It happened that first night we met in town when my dress got ruined. You knew what I’d done, I told you, didn’t I?”
Eunice nodded. “I kept asking you about your monthlies. I was worried about you, but when you wouldn’t tell me, I didn’t know what else to do. I thought you would have told me about the baby by now. Why did you keep it to yourself? I thought we were friends.”
“I didn’t want to get you in trouble. I was supposed to be with you that night, and if anyone found out I’d left you and gone off with Glenn, well, you’d have been in bother too, wouldn’t you?”
“Not nearly as much bother as you’re in right now, Hazel. What will you do?”
“Ray wants me to marry him. He’s asked me properly and everything. He said he’d bring the baby up as his own. Glenn wouldn’t have to know he was the father.”
“But you can’t marry our Ray, can you?”
“Why not?” Hazel asked. “That’s what mam said, and dad had a heart attack just thinking about it! What’s going on, Eunice? Why can’t I marry Ray?”
“You won’t know, will you? You were out of it when my dad and Walter came to take Norman home with them.”
“Know what? Do you know something about this?”
Eunice nodded. “After we got you and your mam to bed, Walter took Norman, and then my mam and dad talked in your kitchen. They asked me whether I knew that you and Ray were seeing each other.”
“What did you tell them?”
“I didn’t know what to say. You hadn’t told me anything, so what was I supposed to say?”
“So they all think the baby is Ray’s?”
“Dad was really upset when he found out you were pregnant. Mam was crying and saying sorry, over and over. She said if she had seen this coming she would have tried to prevent it and dad was going on about a crime against nature.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Hazel was becoming more confused by the strange responses of the adults.
Eunice dropped her eyes. “You can’t marry Ray, Hazel, because he’s your half-brother.”
Her heart seemed to stop for a few seconds while she took in the shocking words. “How can that be? He’s your brother, not mine!”
Eunice’s mother put her head around the door. With no makeup and her salt and pepper hair looking unaccustomedly dishevelled, Hazel had to look twice to recognise her. “I thought I heard you two. Would you like some breakfast, girls?”
“Is my mam awake?” Hazel asked.
“Yes. I’m going to make her some tea and toast. Would you like some?”
Hazel shook her head, but the motion caused another wave of nausea. “I feel sick again.”
Audrey picked up the bucket and brought it to the bed. “I was sick for the first four months when I carried Ray.”
Hazel dry retched for a few seconds and fell back against her pillows.
“This will pass, love.” Audrey set the bucket back by the door. “Toast will help. I’ll go make you some.”
“Wait!” Hazel wanted some answers. “Is it true what Eunice said about Ray being my brother?”
Audrey pressed her lips together and lifted her chin. “I’m sorry, Hazel. If I’d known you two were getting close, I would have said something before any damage could be done, but as it is, you kept your affection for each other from us, and now we don’t know what will happen.”
Audrey put a hand to her face and rushed from the room. They listened to her footsteps going down the stairs.
“What kind of answer was that?” Hazel looked at her friend. “What do you know about all this?”
Eunice sighed. “Well, it was like this. Apparently, your dad had an affair with my mam before he married your mam. He got her pregnant, but they didn’t love each other. Your dad was in love with your mam, but her dad wouldn’t let them be together. My dad had always wanted my mam, and with your mam and dad to plead his case, they eventually persuaded my mam to marry him, and they got married before she began to show with Raymond.”
“Phew! Do you want to say all that again slowly, so I can take it in?”
“Ray is your half-brother, all right. I was listening to the story half the night before I came to sit with you. It’s going to be a right scandal if it gets out. They seem more worried about your baby, though.”
“Why?”
“Because it could be born with two heads or something. That’s why brothers and sisters can’t marry, silly. The babies would be born like monsters because of the close relationship.”
“But the baby isn’t Ray’s.”
Eunice leant close to whisper, “The grown-ups don’t know that, do they?”
“Oh, I see.” Hazel sighed deeply. “What a mess. Have you talked to Ray yet?”
Eunice shook her head. “I haven’t seen him, but I know dad was going to tell him last night. We’re all in shock, Hazel. I don’t know how our Ray is going to take it. He thinks the world of you.”
“He wants to marry me, but I suppose that isn’t going to happen now, is it?”
“I don’t think so, love. What will you do?”
“I’ll have to get back with Glenn, won’t I? He’s the real father. He should be made to stand by me.”
“Do you think he might not want to?”
Hazel shrugged. “I don’t know what he’ll want to do, but if Ray can’t marry me, he’s my only hope of having this baby born legitimate. I don’t want it to be a, well,” she lowered her voice. “A bastard.”
“No, you don’t want that, love. That’s why my mam was persuaded to marry my dad. For the exact same reason, and look how that turned out. Up until now, everything has been fine, hasn’t it? They seem happy enough, and they went on to have the rest of us, so that proves they made the right decision, doesn’t it?”
“I suppose so.”
Audrey returned with a tray of tea and toast. She handed a plate to Hazel. “Eat that, and you’ll soon feel better, love.”
“Thanks.”
“I’ll take this through to your mam and after breakfast, we can all have a chat. I’m sure you’ll have lots of questions, and I know your mam has a few to ask you.”
“I don’t know.” Hazel was dreading the confrontation. She didn’t want her mother to think badly of her.
“I think it might be best if we try to clear the air, don’t you?” Audrey hesitated by the door for a few seconds. “We’ll all come clean, and then we can decide what to do next.”
Happiness for Hazel Page 20