The Way We Are

by Shelly Desjarlais

  *-*-*-*

  When night fell on Monday, Thompson returned home. Carolyn wished that he would have stayed another night, but she wasn’t so lucky. It was the first time that she had seen him in over a day. She wondered if he would be able to tell that she was unfaithful. His eyes were as sharp as a hawk’s, and his nose was as knowing as a hunting hound. She did her best to remain calm.

  “Hello, Thompson,” she distantly greeted him.

  “That’s how you act when I come home? Come here,” he gruffly spat.

  He dropped his lunch pale on the counter. Afterwards, he pulled her into a rough kiss. When they broke apart, he glanced at the table. She had one of his favorite meals waiting for him. His mustache flickered. That was a sign of peaceful acceptance. Carolyn relaxed. Only just.

  “House looks real clean. Food is good. How’s the farm?” he asked her.

  “Good,” Carolyn answered simply.

  “Good. I’d say all this extra effort of yours isn’t what it seems.”

  “What do you mean, Thompson?”

  “I’m saying that you have a secret meaning for all this work. That it’s not just you being good while I was gone,” Thompson accused. Oh, Carol, he knows. Carolyn gulped. He bit into a carrot with a smile. “You missed me. You missed me a whole lot. That’s why you wanted to make everything real good for me.”

  Carolyn’s lungs released. The untruth followed. “Yes. I missed you.”

  “That’s sad because I have news for you.”

  “News? For me?” she repeated.

  “I sure do. Staying at my brother’s worked out good. The factory’s offering lots of overtime for the next bit. I said that I’d do it. So, that means I’ll be staying in the city day and night for about a week. I’ll probably be back on Wednesday. You’ll have to manage on your own here. Sorry I’m breaking your heart, but we need the money. You think you can handle missing me so much?”

  “It’ll be hard, but I’ll do my best,” she managed to sound convincing.

  “Good. Don’t let this farm slip while I’m gone. I’ll be able to tell if you’ve slacked off. Don’t think that I won’t.”

  She vigorously nodded. “Yes, I know. I’ll keep it perfect for you.”

  “Good girl. Have my things packed for me. I need some sleep before I go tomorrow. Be sure you kiss me goodbye. Got it?”

  “Yes, Thompson.”

  Internally, Carolyn was ecstatic. She had a week to be completely alone, which meant that Hazel could visit her for longer. In fact, it meant that Carolyn could spend the night with Hazel, if they wanted to. Carolyn knew that they would.

  Twenty-six

  Hazel had her house in order. She cleaned up the water and restored what she could. Her heart told her to visit Carolyn, but she didn’t want to suffocate her. She settled for some reading, the start of her garden, and a soothing drive. At dinner, she didn’t feel like cooking. She had a bowl of breakfast cereal instead.

  Just after Hazel finished her cereal, there was a knock on the door. She sprinted eagerly to the knob. When she turned it, Carolyn was waiting. Carolyn didn’t have time to speak. Hazel tugged her into a deep kiss. It took them a few moments to regain their breath.

  “This is a lovely surprise,” Hazel finally smiled.

  “Yeah. I was wondering if you’d like to have dinner with me,” Carolyn explained.

  Hazel paused. “You don’t have to have dinner at home…with him?”

  “He’s going to pull overtime in the city for a week. So, he’s not here. At all. Not even nights.”

  “No? Well, in that case, come on in. I haven’t eaten dinner really. I owe you a meal anyway.”

  “I have food packed up in the truck. I thought maybe you’d want to go for a drive,” Carolyn countered.

  “Where?”

  “Anywhere you want.”

  Hazel beamed. “I know just the place.”

  “You do?”

  “Yeah. Can I drive?”

  “You can,” Carolyn agreed.

  Hazel and Carolyn went to the truck. Carolyn didn’t recognize where they were going. Hazel had created her own road. This particular path led to her favorite spot. The trees looked orange at dusk.

  “Here we are. My favorite place. I like the trees. They remind me of home. And, you must watch your step. There’s a real river over there,” Hazel playfully warned.

  Carolyn stood beside the sad stream. “Oh, yeah. I could drown in there. It is the deepest river we’ve got.”

  “I noticed. How far do you have to go to find real water? You know, the kind that reaches above your ankles,” Hazel wondered.

  “Two towns over, there’s a big lake. Me and my brothers used to hitch a ride on my neighbor’s wagon when he had to go into town. We’d stay until my neighbor would pick us up again. My folks hated it when we’d go, but they expected as much. My oldest brother was always dragging the rest of us into trouble.”

  “Sally and I take turns dragging each other into trouble. She was usually the proper one when we were kids, but Orville brings out the rebel in her. I’ve always been one.”

  “It’s real charming.”

  Carolyn leaned in for a swift peck before she lifted Hazel into her arms. She set Hazel on the tailgate, and she sat at Hazel’s side. They reached into a basket that Carolyn packed. The dinner inside wasn’t overly elegant, but it was delicious all the same. They ate without words, taking in the final ribbons of light as they vanished behind the horizon.

  Once they were finished and the stars rose, Carolyn lay down in the truck bed. Hazel readily lay down beside her. She set her cheek on Carolyn’s shoulder. She watched the way the stars twinkled in Carolyn’s eyes.

  “Carolyn?”

  “Hazel?”

  “I have a question.”

  “All right,” Carolyn murmured. “What is it?”

  “Can I stay with you tonight?”

  “I’d like that.”

  For an hour or more, they stayed in that truck bed. The stars only seemed to get brighter with every passing second. Although they didn’t like the idea of moving, they liked the idea of being at Carolyn’s house more. This time, Carolyn drove them home.

  “I’ll get to the door before you,” Hazel stated.

  “Doubt that, darlin.”

  They chased each other to the door. Inside, they stumbled into each other’s arms. Hazel picked up Carolyn at the waist, and Carolyn draped her arms around Hazel’s neck. Since Carolyn was somewhat heavier than Hazel, she couldn’t hold her in the air for too long. On the other hand, Carolyn had no problem carrying Hazel into the bedroom.

  Hazel’s hands erased any memories that Carolyn had of Thompson in her bed. Her mind was focused on making Hazel moan. Hazel couldn’t get undressed fast enough. She couldn’t get Carolyn undressed fast enough either. Their need for one another fired on all cylinders.

  Sometime later, the women were tucked beneath the sheets. Carolyn hugged Hazel to her chest, and Hazel gripped Carolyn’s forearm. Although they weren’t facing one another, they could sense that they were both smiling. Neither of them could think of a more beautiful place to be.

  “Hey,” Hazel giggled. She tapped on Carolyn’s arm. “You’re tickling me.”

  “I am?”

  “You are. Your fingers are brushing against my side. That’s a tickle spot.”

  “You mean this spot here? On your ribs?” Carolyn asked.

  Carolyn purposely ran her fingers over the spot. Hazel laughed and lightheartedly fought back. Eventually, Hazel flipped over to face Carolyn. She put her palm on the base of Carolyn’s spine, flicking her tongue against Carolyn’s ear.

  “You’re a rascal,” Hazel whispered.

  “You’re too fun to tease. And you’ve got a pretty laugh.”

  Hazel smirked, though it was not entirely cheerful. “I wish that it’d be like this all the time.”

  “You do?” Carolyn muttered.

  “Yeah. I do. You know what, Ms. Arksdale?”

&
nbsp; “What?”

  “I’m very much looking forward to falling asleep with you.”

  “Are you?”

  “I am. Now, when I wake up from dreaming about you, you’ll really be with me…” Hazel said.

  “I’ll be here,” Carolyn promised.

  “Well, hope so.”

  “You’ve got my word. I’m not moving.”

  “I won’t move either,” Hazel promised in return.

  They touched noses before closing their eyes. Hazel fell asleep fairly quickly. Carolyn soaked in the sensation of being near Hazel. For the first time, she was going to fall asleep beside somebody she trusted and wanted to see when she opened her eyes. She tumbled into slumber, knowing that she had a reason to love the dawn.

  Carolyn felt even more wonderful when morning came. She woke at her usual time, just before the light came. It took her several moments to realize that Hazel was beside her. Carolyn pressed a kiss to Hazel’s forehead, gradually waking Hazel. Once she opened her eyes, she saw Carolyn’s smiling face. Hazel smiled in return. The feeling was just as precious as she’d imagined.

  “Good morning,” Hazel yawned.

  “Good morning. I have to get to work. You should get some more sleep,” Carolyn suggested.

  “No way. I’m a famer in training. I take that job seriously.”

  Carolyn was amused by that. Still, she knew that Hazel meant it. “Put on some overalls. We need to milk some cows.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  They began their chores. Naturally, Carolyn finished ahead of schedule with Hazel’s help. Hazel held Carolyn while they watched the sunrise. It was surreal to Carolyn. She realized that she didn’t have to rush inside to make Thompson’s breakfast. For once, someone was going to take care of her.

  “I’ll make breakfast if you make the coffee,” Hazel declared.

  “Perfect,” Carolyn approved.

  Within the kitchen, Hazel got to work on the eggs. Carolyn started the coffee. Hazel started to sing a happy tune as she worked. Carolyn grinned. Everything felt so right.

  However, she’d forgotten something. A car was coming. Shortly after that, there was a knock. It was followed by a second tap. Rodger.

  Carolyn scurried to the door. Hazel continued to sing in the background when Rodger knocked again. Carolyn threw the door open.

  “Rodger. Hello.”

  Hazel didn’t hear them. She sang on. Rodger noticed. “Good morning, Mrs. Jennings. Sorry if I bothered you. I’m here to pick up the milk and eggs.”

  “Bother me? No, you didn’t bother me. Why would you bother me?” Carolyn stuttered.

  “Well, I thought you might have company. I hear somebody else in there. Is Mr. Jennings home today?”

  “That? That’s just the radio, Rodger. Sorry for being out of sorts this morning. I’d just forgotten that you were coming. Here’s all you need,” Carolyn said.

  Rodger took the items, and Carolyn took the money. Rodger, oblivious and innocent, didn’t ask any more questions. He merely waved. “Good day, Mrs. Jennings.”

  “Good day, Rodger,” Carolyn waved in return.

  She shut the door with a heavy sigh. She went into the kitchen to see Hazel. She was almost finished with the simple breakfast, but stopped when she saw Carolyn’s face. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

  “Rodger just came by. I handled it, though,” Carolyn explained.

  Hazel was horrified. “I didn’t hear. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t worry, darlin. He’s a boy. He doesn’t know any different.”

  Hazel hoped that Carolyn was right.

  Twenty-seven

  After breakfast, Carolyn and Hazel decided to visit Elmer’s store. They used all the bacon for their meal, and Hazel figured that it was time to get her own work clothes. She wanted to work with Carolyn as much as she could while Thompson was away. The thought of wearing the same muddy overalls, or taking more from Carolyn, did not appeal to her in the slightest.

  “Hello, Carolyn,” Elmer fondly greeted her. When he saw Hazel enter behind her, he merely tipped his hat. “And, hello to you, Hazel. What can I do for you ladies?”

  A cake sat beside the register. Hazel was instantly drawn to it. “A sliver of that cake sounds good, for starters.”

  “Oh, help yourself. My wife only just baked it an hour ago. I’ll get you a plate,” Elmer responded.

  He stepped into a small room that was attached to the checkout counter. From its jumbled contents, he found a clean plate and fork for Hazel. Hazel took a piece of cake with a grateful nod. She began to walk down the aisles of the store with Carolyn. Elmer couldn’t help occasionally watching them. It wasn’t because he was judging them. It was because he had never seen Carolyn smile so widely.

  “Yeah, here it is,” Carolyn said.

  Hazel scanned the two shelves of clothing. In her life, she had never seen such a limited selection. “Here? This is all that he has?”

  “Most people make their own clothes around here instead of buying them. And most of us wear ‘em until there’s nothing left but patches,” Carolyn explained.

  “All right. I see some overalls. Can you hold this plate for a moment?”

  “I sure can.”

  Just before Carolyn took the plate, Hazel scooped a hunk of cake onto her fork. She held it out for Carolyn to try. Once Carolyn opened her mouth, Hazel fed the bite to her. Some of the frosting stuck to the corner of Carolyn’s lip. Hazel gently wiped it clean with her thumb. They fondly chuckled.

  Elmer saw it.

  Carolyn took the plate from Hazel so that she could hold up the various outfits. Hazel encountered the same problem again and again. The overalls were meant for men, so they were all too big. The clothes designed for women were all dresses. Finally, she had a real reason to miss Boston.

  “Elmer, is there a clothing store anywhere close by?” Hazel asked him.

  “You’d have to go to the city. It’s at least an hour drive, but they’ve got a few stores there,” Elmer told her.

  Carolyn went to the counter with the bacon and a few other groceries. She glanced at Hazel, thinking aloud. “You need a whole lot of gas. We can get some while we’re here.”

  “That sounds good. I can go to the city tomorrow,” Hazel figured. She set a stack of bills on the counter. “Here, Elmer. That should cover both of us. No objections, Carolyn.”

  “Thank you. Now, you stay. I’ll get the gas can. I don’t want you spilling gasoline on your dress,” Carolyn said.

  “You’re too kind,” Hazel smiled.

  Once Carolyn left, Elmer stared closely at Hazel’s face. “More car trouble?”

  “What?” Hazel asked.

  “I reckoned that might be why you came here with Carolyn,” Elmer tested.

  “Oh. Oh, yes. That’s right. Out of gas. That’s why I’m buying gas.”

  Rather than challenge her further, Elmer nodded. “Right. Out of gas.”

  It was apparent in that moment. Elmer knew.

  *-*-*-*

  Carolyn took Hazel home. They shared a few farewell kisses, promising to see one another in a day or so. Afterwards, Carolyn set about the rest of her chores in town. This including dropping into the farm supply store. That day, the store was slow. Thus, the store’s manager joined Randy and Ronnie Richardson for a game of poker in the back of the room.

  Usually, the manager ignored Carolyn. He let one of his employees handle her. It didn’t matter much, as she was always in and out in record time. However, he sent all of his employees home. There wasn’t enough work for them to be doing, so the manager was on his own. He had to leave the poker game when Carolyn walked in.

  Randy and Ronnie glared. Their game was just getting interesting. The manger bet all he had, Randy bet all his cigarettes, and Ronnie put his father’s expensive revolver in the pot. They had to wait for the manager to return. Other than this inconvenience, the brothers didn’t know much about Carolyn Jennings.

  “That’s Carolyn Jennings,” Ronni
e said to Randy.

  “Wish she’d hurry up,” Randy spoke in a bored voice.

  Ronnie watched her closely. “You know, she was talking to Hazel at the party. They seemed real friendly with each other.”

  “Dammit, Ron. Hazel this and Hazel that. You’re obsessed with her,” Randy huffed.

  Ronnie huffed back. “You said that you’d help me get her, remember?”

  “Brother, she’s not worth all the trouble she’d bring you. Pick another girl. That Henderson girl is sixteen now. Not bad looking.”

  “That Henderson girl doesn’t do anything for me. Hazel does. I just want her even more when she tells me off. Maybe that Carolyn Jennings knows something that can help,” Ronnie argued.

  “Oh, please. That woman would never help you out. Why would she know anything anyway?”

  “Hazel and her are always together. I’ve heard the churchwomen whispering about it.”

  “Carolyn Jennings isn’t worth whispering about. She keeps to herself and doesn’t do nothing to raise any eyebrows,” Randy said.

  “That’s why everybody’s interested, Randy. She’s never been close to anybody, and now she’s Hazel’s shadow. That’s strange.”

  “All right, that is strange. I’ll give you that. But, if anything is going on, somebody will find out and tell us. That’s how things work here.”

  “Yeah. That’s right,” Ronnie agreed. He watched Carolyn pay for her supplies and carry them to her truck. Humming, he lit a cigarette. “I’ve got a feeling that there’s something for somebody to find out.”

  *-*-*-*

  An uneventful day passed. Hazel found the city without incident, and she visited a few clothing stores. It amazed her how much smaller and inexpensive the area was compared to New England. When she arrived on Carolyn’s porch, she was sporting a new set of overalls and plaid. Carolyn said that she couldn’t have looked prettier.

  The usual chores were finished. This left plenty of time to visit with the horse. Hazel rode him a few times, and she was getting better all the time. Carolyn stood back while Hazel cared for the horse on her own. When she brushed his mane, he affectionately nudged her. Carolyn glowed when Hazel nudged the horse in return.