Human and Freakn'

by Eve Langlais

  She must have looked appalled because Joel jumped in. “The fights don’t usually last too long. His mom usually breaks them up after a few minutes.”

  And how big was his mother to have the strength to separate them? “Sounds delightful.”

  “It is. Totally. You’ll see after we get out of here and go back home.”

  She didn’t point out she didn’t live in the same city. Offered on the same polite lines as, ‘I’ll call you’, and ‘Hey, we should get together sometime.’ People uttered those types of platitudes all the time, but never followed through. She didn’t put any stock in his casual invitation. Out of curiosity now more than politeness, she turned her attention to Joel. “And what about you? Do you also have a boxing ring at your house?”

  A sad expression crossed his face. “No. But I wish I did. It’s just me and my dad.”

  “Oh. Your mother passed?”

  “Not exactly. She left when I was a boy. My dad didn’t handle it too well.” His bitter chuckle and shoulder shrug didn’t hide the pain of the admission. Even sheltered as she was, she knew enough to see he’d not enjoyed a happy home life. It made her heart ache for him.

  “Oh, don’t let his puppy dog eyes fool you,” Kendrick interrupted. “My family adopted him at an early age, and with that face, he made out like a bandit at every family gathering. He was the only one of us to usually get two helpings of dessert.”

  Joel’s grin was completely unabashed. “Can I help it if the truth will give me candy?”

  “You guys are nuts,” she said with a shake of her head, but a smile. She couldn’t say she disliked this new version of Kendrick and Joel. On the contrary, her crush on them deepened. She just couldn’t tell which one she liked more.

  “But we come by it honestly. You’ll like my family.”

  “If you say so. But that won’t be until after the mission.”

  “It is going to get more dangerous now,” Joel cautioned. “You’ll have to be more vigilant. Kendrick and I will watch over you, but in case we’re occupied, you need to look out for yourself. Keep yourself safe.”

  “I have been so far. I’m not giving up.”

  “I wouldn’t expect it any other way,” muttered Kendrick.

  Well, at least that sounded more like she expected. “I’m on to you,” she warned, briefly meeting their eyes – hot, smoldering eyes with an odd gleam. She ducked back. “I won’t let you talk me out of coming.”

  “We wouldn’t dream of it,” Joel said, almost purring.

  “Nope. You’re much better off where we can keep an eye on you,” Kendrick added. “A close eye.”

  And boy, did he mean that.

  From one extreme to another, Ruth thought. She’d gone from wishing Joel and Kendrick would give her a little hand, to them getting underfoot, and worse, acting as if they vied for her attention. Like family indeed. She didn’t know any families that would have fought constantly over who got to help her. Kendrick and Joel raced, laughing and joking over who would get to her first. Coffee? Joel won that round. Reheated croc meat sprinkled with salt he had stashed in his gear? Kendrick. Oh, the look he’d given her after her first groan of enjoyment at the smoky taste. And on it went, making her more and more suspicious.

  Was she the object of a bet? Who is going to screw the chubby girl first? She’d read a book about that not long ago. But, in the end, the fat girl did find love.

  However, Ruth also saw some movies where the jilted girl, betrayed and angry, got a knife, or chainsaw, and killed everyone. Or something violent like that anyway, not that she had a fetish for really low-grade horror movies or anything.

  Whatever the reason for their ridiculous turnabout, she didn’t trust it – even if she perversely enjoyed it. Joel and Kendrick hovered, each tackling one of her chores and showing her the proper way of doing things. Odd how their method involved them placing their hands over hers, guiding her, or so they said, their breath and lips warm against the shell of her ear.

  It wasn’t just the jungle feeling humid that morning.

  By the time they’d finished packing to leave, she was ready to tear off her clothes and beg one of them to take her. Either would do. She didn’t of course. It wasn’t exactly the time or place. Nor did she entirely trust their motives.

  She decided the best plan of action involved ignoring her new stalkers. Now if only they’d cooperate. As they began their trek, Kendrick took point, and Joel took her rear. Exactly how they’d begun the previous day’s march.

  And then it got weird.

  Kendrick hacked a wide path and held back branches for her. Joel, at her heels the whole way, always seemed to steady her a moment before her foot would snag a root or trip over a rock. Not a single bug landed on her head. No snakes asked for hugs. She didn’t get the mother of all stitches in her side. It was a nice, if long, hike.

  Stopping to camp that night, she went to splash water on her face before tackling her shelter. Minutes, only minutes, she spent refreshing herself, and yet, when she turned around, there were Kendrick and Joel putting the finishing touches on her bedroom for the night, their own bedrolls flanking it on either side.

  Hands planted on her hips, she stalked over. “What the heck are you doing?”

  Kneeling on the ground, tying down a stake, Kendrick peered up. “Putting up a tent?”

  “I can see that. I want to know why.”

  “To help, of course.” Joel’s shrug seemed to imply she should know that.

  “I don’t need any help. You’ve shown me how to do it. Now let me do it.”

  “But it’s already done.”

  “This time. I mean next time.”

  “Fine. We’ll let you do it next time.”

  Kendrick gave in too easily, and she frowned. “What are you up to?”

  “Does a man have to have an ulterior motive to help a woman?”

  “Yes. And it usually means he expects a favor.” She knew her inflection left no doubt as to her meaning, but it was his reaction that intrigued her. Kendrick’s lids went heavy, brooding almost, as he eyed her, and undressed her. Then, somehow, that same gaze touched her, or at least her mind imagined he did, and hardened her nipples into points she couldn’t hide through her flimsy shirt and sturdy bra. She crossed her arms.

  “I’ll take a favor if you’re handing them out,” he murmured, stepping closer.

  She took a pace back. “I don’t think so.” She went to take another step, but a hard body stood in her way. She whirled to find Joel, his stare just as intense. “You too?”

  “I’d have to be dead not to want to kiss you again.”

  “It’s my turn,” Kendrick growled from too close behind her. Hemmed in on both sides, heat radiated from their bodies, heated her already feverish skin. Flustered, she raised her hands and placed one on each chest.

  “I am not a toy, or a prize, or a slut. So if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to pretend we didn’t have this conversation. And from now on, I’ll take care of my own things, thank you very much.” She stalked away with her head high, panties wet, and shaking inside.

  God how she wanted to just melt against them and see how far they were willing to go. Sanity prevailed, how unfortunate. But facts were facts.

  First of all, there were three other men in their party, probably watching and laughing as the chunky girl made a fool of herself. Second, this was a rescue mission, not a singles trip. This was about rescuing her sister, not getting laid. And third, what good girl thought that letting two guys seduce her – at once! – was a good idea?

  This one does. And that’s the problem.

  Chapter 8

  Despite her sore muscles, Ruth found the next day’s march easier, and it wasn’t just because of Kendrick’s revised stance on giving her a helping hand. Muscles she’d just recently declared cruel and useless were toned already from the enforced walking so different from the city treks they were used to.

  She barely flinched anymore when something with too many legs
crossed her path. And she knew how to dismantle her tent. Look at me, turning into a true adventurer. Maybe when she got back to civilization she’d look into joining some of the more exotic expeditions her university offered. If she could handle this untamed jungle, she could handle anything. She only wished she had more time to study the various flora they passed. The botanist in her drooled at all the vivid greenery and blooms. She’d managed to snag small samples here and there, which she pressed between the pages of her waterproof journal. Her father gave it to her as a last minute parting gift, telling her to track her adventure. As if her poor, tired body would let her stay up for something like that. Despite its blank pages, the book did give her a great storage spot for the flattened leaves and petals.

  When they called camp early for the day, Kendrick not keen on them traversing a wider stretch of marshy land in the encroaching twilight, Ruth decided to take some of her remaining energy and rectify her lack of green exploration. After taking care of pressing business, she detoured away from camp and deeper into the jungle. Not too far, though. She wasn’t completely oblivious to the fact she wasn’t in a local plant nursery. Wild things roamed, not all of them on two legs. Not to mention, whoever kidnapped her sister and the others could lurk and she’d never know it.

  It still didn’t stop her from exploring the little patch of lush flowers she found. Stepping in for a closer look, she noted how the muddy soil sucked at her feet. This was as far as she’d go in that direction. Most people thought of quicksand as smooth clearings of harmless seeming dirt. However, Ruth knew from her studies that sometimes the most dangerous type was the marshy kind with cloying mud and tangling vegetation. Get caught in that and a person could end up in major trouble. Or so she’d read, and seen in a documentary taped by the grad students in some other tropical forest the year before.

  Spotting a speck of color amidst the whiter blooms – ooh, a cross-pollinated specimen – she ducked, and just in time too, as something soared over her head. A big, furry body, which hit a fallen tree bough with a skittering as it extended its claws to grip the rough bark.

  Covered in a spotted, sleek pelt, Ruth forgot to breathe as a set of golden eyes turned to peer at her. The tail, long and sinuous, snapped and writhed, an almost separate living entity as the cat pivoted. Facing her, its body bigger than any jaguar she’d seen in a zoo, was a living, breathing predator. Uh-oh.

  “Nice kitty?” she asked.

  A soft growl rolled forth.

  “I hope that wasn’t your reply for hungry kitty,” she muttered, still in her crouch as she cast her eyes to the side to look for a weapon of some kind because, of course, she’d come armed with a pencil and notepad, not an actual weapon.

  “Stay down,” Kendrick barked from somewhere behind her a moment before another furry animal soared over her kneeling body. The new arrival landed on the log, which the feline had already vacated, and tumbled past it. The wolf hit the ground beyond and stumbled. Shaking its shaggy, dark head, it tossed her a quick look then took off in the direction of some trembling foliage.

  “Holy shit,” she breathed, the rare invective making it past her lips.

  She didn’t get a chance to see much more as Kendrick, his voice tight with anger, lashed her, drawing her attention as he yanked her to her feet. “What on earth were you thinking?”

  Thinking? Well, that was easy. “That I was probably going to die rather painfully.”

  “And why was that going to happen?” he asked, still holding her by her upper arms, giving her a little shake.

  “Um, because of the jaguar with big freakn’ teeth. I’d say that was obvious.”

  “Wrong answer. It was going to happen because you wandered off without an escort.”

  “I went to pee. I don’t need someone to wipe my bottom or hand me tissue, thank you very much.”

  “I didn’t say you did. But, once you were done, you didn’t come back to camp.”

  “How did you know? Are you watching me when I, like,” she dropped her voice, “you know, pee?”

  “No. Of course not. However, as team leader, I do keep an eye on everybody in our group and if one goes missing for more than a few minutes then I start looking.”

  Why did his reply deflate her? “So, you do that for everyone?”

  “No. Just you. But I can lie and pretend otherwise if you’d like.”

  “It’s because you think I’m weaker.” And there was that bravado again, rising to the rescue and standing up to Kendrick and his bullying.

  “Not weaker. More like, less able to handle things,” he countered.

  “That’s sexist.” She planted her hands on her hips and glared at him.

  “Realist.”

  “Semantics.”

  “Is this a game like Scrabble, because if so, I demand the right to use a dictionary.”

  “Sinkhole.”

  “Is that a polite term for asshole?”

  “No, I think you’re on a sinkhole, or quick sand, or something along those lines, or hadn’t you noticed you’re getting shorter?”

  Kendrick peered down at his disappearing calves. “Well that explains why I’m now looking up at you. How short do you think I’ll get?”

  “Why would you care? Get out of there.”

  “Aren’t you curious? I wonder if there’s a bottom. What if it only comes to my knees?”

  “And what if it doesn’t stop at your knees and you keep sinking? Even better, why are we debating this? Who cares how deep it is? Get out of it.”

  “Make me.”

  She eyed the muck. “And get dirty? No thanks.”

  “Says the girl who smells like a locker room after a rugby match.”

  She scowled at him. “You say the nicest things.”

  “I didn’t say I minded it. I like a woman who’s not afraid to get down and dirty.” He winked.

  “I draw the line at mud, though, which means you’re on your own.”

  “So, you’ll let me die, suffocate in the icky, sticky mud?”

  “Hey, I told you to get out. Not my fault you don’t listen.” She quite enjoyed the smirk she gave him.

  “Oh that’s priceless coming from you Miss I-can-handle-the-jungle. Hear me roar.”

  “I’ve handled it.”

  “Yes, you have. And quite nicely too.”

  “I wish you’d stop doing that.”

  “Doing what?”

  “Complimenting me. I prefer if when you’re mean.” Because when he was nice, she just didn’t know what to think anymore. Kendrick acting like an asshat proved easy to ignore. Kendrick the flirtatious hunk made her want to throw her arms around his neck and plaster him with kisses.

  “But I’m not a mean guy at heart. Just a chauvinist,” he admitted with a wide smile -- as he continued to sink past his knees.

  “Would you get out?” she pleaded, now getting worried as it grew darker, twilight losing the battle to nightfall. Soon, she’d barely see the hand in front of her face, and there was Kendrick sinking in the mud, indulging in some obviously testosterone based game that she couldn’t understand.

  What if the jaguar came back? Or the freakn’ wolf that didn’t belong in the rain forest? What the heck was that about? An anomaly or something the researchers missed in their study of the area? No matter how it got here, two large predators roamed the area and she’d not worn her tranquilizer gun since the first day when she almost darted her foot. The quivering tufted capsule was a reminder of why left hand klutzes should never play with guns, even sedative based ones.

  “Uh-oh, I think I’m going to need your help.” He sighed in resignation as the mud reached his waist. “Reach for me.”

  “And risk falling in? No, thanks. Let me find a branch.” She turned to squint, looking for something long and sturdy enough for them both to grip.

  “Ruth, quick. Give me your hand. I think I hit a really soft spot.”

  She turned and saw his chest was partially submerged. Panicked, she held her hands out and graspe
d his strong fingers.

  “Pull.”

  She heaved and leaned back. He didn’t move. She strained. Not even an inch did he budge.

  “It’s no use. I’m not strong enough,” she panted. “Let me go so I can get some help.”

  “Don’t leave me.”

  “I won’t, but I’m going to yell for help.”

  “What? No. Don’t do that.”

  Before she could squeak, he’d yanked her toward him, and she flopped into the mud on her knees, her lips at just the right height for him to plant one on her. Oh, the electric tingle as his mouth massaged hers.

  However, she was all too conscious of him sinking, and of joining him she feared as her knees pressed deeper into the soft muck. “Are you nuts?” she gasped, pulling away from his tantalizing lips. “We’ll both die.”

  “No we won’t.”

  “Look at you, up to your chest.”

  “Oh, did I forget to tell you? I hit bottom a while ago. See, we’re safe.” He stood up, dragging her with him, their muddy bodies glued together.

  It took her a moment to register what he did. “You lied to me?”

  “I prefer to think of it as pranked.”

  “I thought you were going to die.”

  “Aren’t you glad to know I’m not?”

  “Not particularly at the moment.” Annoyed or not, though, she didn’t pull away even though her mouth hovered just inches from his.

  “I know how to make you forgive me.”

  And he did, or at least how to silence her. Either way, his second kiss, now that she knew they weren’t in mortal peril, was even yummier than the first, if inappropriate given she’d already made out with his friend. Dangerous, given their location and the predators roaming about, but with his hands cupping her buttocks and his tongue firmly in charge of her mouth, she couldn’t find the will to protest. But, she had no problem enjoying.

  Until a low snarl rumbled.

  Kendrick wanted to groan in frustration as Joel returned the cock-blocking favor of the other night, arriving in time to break up the most wonderful kiss.