Duty or Desire

by Brenda Jackson

  “You can let her go. I have her,” Myra Hollister said. Ciara not only went to the woman but wrapped her arms around her neck as if Myra Hollister was her lifeline.

  He’d seen the interaction between Bonnie and Ciara numerous times and had seen the bond developing between them over the months. But he hadn’t been prepared for this, although he’d been forewarned.

  “Hey there, Ciara, how are you, sweetie?” Myra asked her, and that’s when Ciara pushed back to look up at the woman while smiling brightly.

  Myra Hollister lifted her eyes over Ciara’s head to look at Pete, who could only stare back at her. Today she looked even younger. The legal drinking age in Colorado was twenty-one, and he could see her getting carded easily. Few would believe she was twenty-four without proof. She was wearing her hair down and around her shoulders as she had the other day, and he wondered if the curls were as fluffy as they looked.

  “Would you like to come in, Sheriff Higgins?”

  “Yes, if you don’t mind.”

  “Not at all,” she said, stepping aside for him to enter, propping Ciara on her hip.

  “She’s heavy,” he said, reaching for his niece once they were inside. Again Ciara rebuffed his outstretched hands and clung to Myra.

  “She’s fine. Come in by the fireplace. Glad to see you have her dressed properly.”

  “Of course,” he said, taking off his Stetson and hanging it on the hat rack by the door.

  It was October and the temperature was below freezing. Did she think he didn’t know to dress his niece for the cold weather? Granted, he would admit Bonnie had made it easy for him by laying Ciara’s clothes out the night before.

  “Would you like something to drink, Sheriff Higgins? I have tea, hot chocolate and coffee.”

  When she sat down on the sofa with Ciara, he sat in the chair across from her. “No, I’m fine.”

  He knew from Bonnie that Myra was leasing this home. He liked the community and recalled it had once been his area to patrol when he was a deputy. The people were friendly and because of a neighborhood watch program, crime had been practically nonexistent.

  “I want to apologize for my behavior the other day. I didn’t mean to offend you.” He decided to get it out there. He wished he wasn’t noticing how good she looked sitting there in her leggings and pullover sweater. Or how at eleven o’clock on a cold Monday morning she reminded him of a bright ray of sunshine.

  After removing Ciara’s coat, hat and mittens, she adjusted his niece in her lap, looked him dead in the face and said, “Yet you did offend me, Sheriff.”

  He blew out a slow breath. He needed to explain his actions as best he could while leaving out a couple of vital details. Like his intense attraction to her. He’d hoped it had been a fluke, but when she’d opened the door just now, he’d seen that it hadn’t been. At least he was doing a better job of controlling his reaction today than he had last week.

  “I apologize for offending you. When Bonnie told me about you, I assumed you were an older woman. I hope you can understand my surprise when you walked into the kitchen.”

  “Even if I wasn’t what you expected, I’m sure Miss Bonnie told you about my qualifications. I still don’t understand why there would be a problem even if I’m considered young to you. I used to work in a day care. I worked in a nursery at a hospital taking care of newborns and I’m getting my PhD in child psychology. What else did you need, Sheriff?”

  He had to tighten his lips to keep from saying he didn’t need anything else, but it would help tremendously if she didn’t look like a goddess. And then, as if things needed to get more interesting, his niece took hold of the front of Myra’s sweater. That caused a dip in the fabric, exposing a generous portion of Myra’s cleavage. He nearly swallowed his tongue when he said, “I don’t need anything else. I think that would do it...if you’re still interested.”

  She didn’t say anything for a moment, like she was mulling it over, trying to decide. Then she said, “Yes, I’m still interested.”

  He felt relief at that. “Good. However, there are a few questions I need to ask to finish the interview process.”

  “Ask away.”

  “First, I want to offer my sympathy in regards to your parents. Bonnie told me what happened.” He saw the sadness that appeared in her eyes. She and her parents must have been close. A cop was trained to read people even when they didn’t want to be read.

  “Thanks, Sheriff.”

  He wished he didn’t have to ask the next question but there was no way around it. She needed to know what her working environment would be like. “You will need to move in with me for two months.” He paused, deciding he didn’t like the way that sounded. “Let me rephrase that.”

  “No need,” she said, smiling. “I know what you meant. And yes, I’m aware that because of your unorthodox work hours, I’ll have to move into your place as a full-time nanny to Ciara. In fact, moving into your place works better for me.”

  He lifted his brow. “Why is that?”

  “Because my lease on this place expires in a week, and I would have had to find someplace else to stay. I won’t have to do that if I move into your place to take care of Ciara. Then around the time Miss Bonnie will be returning, I’ll be heading back to South Carolina.”

  He nodded. She was right. It would work out well for her. That meant she would leave Denver around the holidays. She’d mentioned her birthday was on Christmas...just like his.

  She shifted positions on the sofa and Ciara shifted with her, without taking her eyes off the flames in the fireplace. Funny, she’d never been so attentive to his fireplace. Then he saw the colorful flames emitting from the logs. He smiled his understanding about why such a thing was holding his niece’s attention since it was now holding his.

  “Did you know, Sheriff, that babies have the ability to recognize colors at eighteen months?” Evidently she noticed he was staring at the flames as much as Ciara.

  He glanced back at her. “Is that a fact?”

  “Yes. However, I suspect Ciara has a jump start since it’s quite obvious she can detect colors now. I also suspect it won’t be long before she notices similarities and differences in shapes, sizes and texture of objects.”

  He nodded again. “She’s already begun talking and thinks I’m her daddy. She’s even called Bonnie Momma a few times.”

  “Does that bother you? That she calls you Daddy?”

  He had to be honest that yes, it did. “I don’t ever want her to forget Matt and Sherry.”

  She shifted in her seat again, in a way where Ciara could still keep her gaze on the flames. “Can I be blunt with you, Sheriff?”

  He nodded his head. “Yes.”

  “Chances are she’s already forgotten them.”

  His jaw clenched and unclenched. He preferred she not say such a thing because he definitely refused to think it. “You don’t know that.”

  A hint of sadness appeared in her eyes. “Yes, I do. She was only three months old at the time of their accident, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then what she remembers most is their scent.”

  Although he didn’t want to agree with her, he knew what she said made sense. “Like I said, I don’t want her to forget them.”

  “What you mean is that you want her to remember them.”

  As far as he was concerned, it meant the same thing. Evidently she didn’t think so, but he refused to spar with her. Besides, there was one other thing they needed to cover before he felt totally comfortable hiring her.

  “When Ciara gets older,” she continued, “around three years old, that would be a good time to begin establishing her parents’ likenesses into her memory with pictures. There’s nothing wrong with her calling you Daddy. When she’s old enough you can tell her the truth.”

  He didn’t say anything for a moment. Instead
of appreciating her insight, he resented it. He was hiring her as a nanny, not a social worker. He and Ciara would do just fine without her dotting every i and crossing every t for them.

  “There’s another matter I want to discuss with you.”

  “Oh?” she said, moving her gaze from his to smile down at Ciara. His niece had finally gotten bored of the fire and was glancing around the room. Myra Hollister held Ciara firmly in her arms and he was amazed that Ciara hadn’t given her any pushback. Usually, she was ready to get on the floor and move around to see what she could get into. The Higgins household had gone through a lot of changes since his niece began walking three months ago.

  “And what matter is that, Sheriff?”

  “Our relationship.” When he realized how that sounded, he quickly said, “Our working relationship. I think I need to define it.”

  He saw the way her brows scrunched up. “Why?”

  Her words pretty much confirmed she honestly didn’t have a clue. Maybe that was a good thing. But still, he needed to make sure they had an understanding about a few things.

  “Why do you think you need to define our working relationship, Sheriff?” she asked again.

  Pete drew in a deep breath. “We will be living under the same roof. I’m a single man and you’re a single woman.”

  “And?”

  “People might talk, Ms. Hollister.”

  She looked even more confused. “Why would they? I’m sure people around here know your profession. You’re the sheriff. You’re also the guardian to your niece. Why would anyone have anything to say about you hiring a temporary nanny until Miss Bonnie returns?”

  He shifted in his seat. “Like I said. I’m single and so are you.”

  “So is Miss Bonnie.”

  Pete frowned. Was she deliberately being obtuse? “I’ve never had a young, single and beautiful woman living under my roof before.”

  She stared at him for a moment and then cocked a brow. “Although I don’t consider myself one of those real proper Southern belles, I was raised to adhere to conservative protocols. Is there something about your reputation that I need to be concerned with, Sheriff?”

  Her question threw him. “Why would you think that?”

  “Because you’re evidently worried about my reputation and what people will think with me living in your house.”

  Is that what she honestly thought? “I assure you there’s nothing questionable about my character.”

  “And I assure you there’s nothing questionable about mine. And as far as anyone suspecting something going on between us while we’re living together, that is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard.”

  “And why is that?”

  She rolled her eyes. “First of all, you’re not my type. Second, you’re older than anyone I normally would date.”

  Well, damn. She’d pretty much put him in his place by telling him she was not in the least attracted to him. There was only one thing he could say. “I’m glad because you’re not my type either, and you’re younger than the women I’d typically date.”

  “Great! Then we don’t have anything to worry about. I honestly don’t care what people might say or think about me living with you. However, if you’re concerned about what they might say, then I suggest you find yourself another nanny.”

  * * *

  Myra meant what she’d said, although she could understand why someone would think she could fall for the sheriff. After all, he was a very handsome man. Instead of being dressed like a lawman, today he was wearing jeans and a Western shirt. When she’d looked out the peephole and seen him earlier, standing on her doorstep, tall, broad shouldered, ruggedly built with a Stetson on his head, she’d drawn in a deep breath to slow her pulse. He was her idea of a Denver cowboy ready to go off and tame a bunch of wild broncos.

  But the bottom line, handsome or not, she could not and would not be attracted to him. She could appreciate a man’s good looks without losing her mind over him; especially an older, good-looking man, thanks to her bad experience with Rick.

  But she couldn’t deny the sensations that had gone off in her stomach when Pete had described her as young, single and beautiful. Did he really think she was beautiful? And why did the idea of him thinking such a thing give her a warm feeling? She couldn’t let his words, or her reaction to them, go to her head.

  Her time in Denver was limited and like she’d told him, she would be returning to Charleston in a couple of months. But she’d stay there just long enough to boot Baron out of the company and return Wallace to his rightful place as head of Hollister Enterprises. Then she intended to take a monthlong vacation in Paris. She would definitely deserve it.

  “I see I’ve offended you again.”

  She glanced over at him and her stomach contracted. Why did he have to look regretful and sexy at the same time? “Yes, you have. I’m beginning to think you enjoy doing that.”

  “I assure you I don’t. I just didn’t want you caught off guard. You’re new here and I know this town.”

  She nodded. “And I guess that means you have a reputation to uphold, and I understand that. Well, guess what? So do I. But obviously you think your reputation means a lot more than mine.”

  “I never said that.”

  No, he hadn’t insinuated such a thing, but she also hadn’t given much thought to them sleeping under the same roof until he’d made such a big deal out of it. “Like I said. If you’re worried about what people think, then I’m not—”

  “I’m not worried.” He stood and she watched how he easily slid out of the chair to stand up to his six-three height. “You will work out fine if you still want the job.”

  He then offered her an amount that was a lot more than what she had figured on earning. That would certainly help keep her tucked away from Baron until she was ready to return home. “I accept your offer, Sheriff. Will I be expected to do laundry and cook, as well?”

  He lifted a brow. “Can you cook?”

  She lifted her chin. “I can hold my own. I can’t cook as well as Miss Bonnie, but considering how young I am, Sheriff, I might surprise you.”

  “You’re not going to let me forget about the big deal I made with your age, are you?”

  “No time soon,” she said, unable to hide her smile.

  She looked down at the little girl she held in her arms, deliberating over placing her concentration on Ciara before she looked back at him. “But that’s your hang-up, Sheriff. I’m sure you will get over it. I’m looking forward to taking care of Ciara until Miss Bonnie returns.”

  “I’m glad.”

  He smiled for the first time since she’d met him. All she should have seen was a friendly smile, but when his lips had curved, she was struck with a spike of feminine awareness. Why had his smile caused that reaction in her?

  She didn’t know. The best thing to do was to get rid of him to ponder the reason in private. She stood after putting on Ciara’s coat, hat and mittens. “So, I guess that’s it. I will be reporting to your place on Friday. That will give Miss Bonnie a chance to help me get acclimated to Ciara’s schedule and my duties while she’s gone.”

  “Do you need help moving out of here?” he asked, glancing around. She watched him while every hormone in her body seemed to sizzle. And all because he’d smiled?

  “No, I don’t need any help. Most things here belong to the owner, who is a college friend of mine. I just need to pack my clothes.”

  “Okay.” The sheriff reached for Ciara and seemed disappointed when his niece’s head dropped back against Myra’s chest, as if she wasn’t ready for Myra to relinquish her.

  He tried again. “Come on, Ciara. We need to leave before the weather gets any worse.”

  When his words wouldn’t budge his niece, he then said, “We’ll have cookies to eat when we get there.”

  Evidently mentioning cookie
s had been the magic word since Ciara extended her arms out for him. The sheriff threw his head back and laughed while cradling Ciara close.

  Myra’s heart skipped, and she knew why. Baron had twin girls and he’d never shown them that much compassion. Yet he hadn’t thought twice about threatening to take custody of them just to hurt Cleo.

  “Looks like you know how to handle her, Sheriff Higgins.”

  He chuckled. “I do my best. And from here on out I prefer for you to call me Pete.”

  She nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat caused by the deep, husky sound of his voice. “And please call me Myra. I’ll see you to the door.”

  At the moment, she didn’t care if it seemed as if she was rushing him out. Mainly because she was. All the man had done was smile. She didn’t quite understand her reaction, and she was never good at dealing with unknowns.

  But when they reached the door and Ciara looked at her beneath her fluffy little cap, Myra was a goner. In truth, the little girl had captured Myra’s heart the minute Myra had held her. She refused to think about what could happen to Ciara if she was left with the wrong nanny. Unfortunately, not all nannies were dependable and competent.

  “We will see you on Friday.”

  Myra met Pete’s gaze over Ciara’s cap. “Yes, you will see me Friday. I should arrive by noon.”

  “Good. We’ll be waiting.”

  Once again his deep, husky voice played havoc with her ears, sped up her heartbeat and tempted her to close her eyes. Moments later when the pair had left and Myra had closed the door behind them, she leaned back against it and drew in a long, deep breath.

  “I will not be attracted to Sheriff Peterson Higgins,” she said aloud, issuing the command to her brain and expecting her body to cooperate. Opening her eyes, she drew in a deep breath, confident that her brain and body now understood each other.

  * * *

  Pete had barely made it inside his house before Bonnie began grilling him. “How did it go? Did she still want the job? Do you feel comfortable about her being here? Did you hire her?”