by Jarica James
"I'm sorry, I never know how people will take it," she says sheepishly, and I bump my shoulder to hers.
'Who am I to judge someone for being different?' I write, and she laughs as she reads it.
"You still want to come over?" she asks, and I nod.
'Sophia can just take us,' I add, and she grins.
"That beats the bus, let's go!" She links her arm with mine but I stop her and look pointedly at Alice.
"Oh, I'm out. I have a video chat date with my boyfriend tonight." Sending us a brief wave she hurries off.
"Oh yeah, she met him at summer camp last year. They're really adorable," Abby explains, finally pulling me away.
"It's cool, us guys will be fine without the extra pampering. Have fun without us," Trent calls after us, grabbing his chest as if we've wounded his very soul. I snort and turn around, following her out.
"Hey, Sophia!” Abby leans in the passenger window. “We were going to see if it's all right for you to drop us off at my house."
"Sure, are you staying the night too?" Sophia asks, looking directly at me. I shrug and glance over at Abby, who also gives me a questioning look like she's asking if I'm still okay with that. I nod, and she grins.
"Yes, she is! Is that okay?"
We both return our attention to Sophia, watching her expectantly. She chuckles and nods, almost appearing relieved to meet one of my friends. I’ve told her about them, but we haven’t done anything like this yet.
"All right, all right. Let's head to our house first so she can grab her stuff, and you can write down your parent's number in case there's an emergency while you're there. That work?" she suggests, and we both nod.
Sophia and Abby chat the whole way, but as soon as she pulls into the garage, we are out of the car before she can turn it off. I lead Abby through the house and up to my room before I gather up some hair products and makeup. I walk into my closet before walking right back out and grabbing Abby and dragging her in there with me.
"You need some help?" she guesses, cracking up. She doesn't hesitate to start shuffling through my clothes before shaking her head and turning to me and sizing me up with her eyes. "Let's grab a few things, but we'll check out my closet too. Grab a pair of skinny jeans, boots, and that sexy leather jacket."
Biting back a self-satisfied grin, I follow her orders and throw it all in a bag before grabbing my phone and keys off of my desk. Abby is already by the door, bouncing from foot to foot with a huge grin on her face. Shaking my head, I usher her downstairs.
"Ready?" Sophia asks as she looks up at us. I nod and smile. “Okay, let’s go.”
The drive to Abby's house takes less than five minutes, and Abby jumps out as soon as she parks in front. I turn to Sophia and give her a grateful smile.
"If anything happens, you call me," Sophia says, leveling a serious look at me like she can read into what we're planning but isn't willing to call me out on it. I nod before climbing out. "Make good choices!" she calls out to us before driving away.
"Do you think she knows?" Abby asks, worrying her lip. I nod because Sophia is too good at reading through lies. I pull out my phone and type a response to reassure Abby.
'She's a lawyer, she can read our lies. It's okay, she just told me to call her if anything happens.'
"She totally knows. It's okay, I'm not going to corrupt her girl," she jokes, leading me into her house.
“Mom?”
“What?” a voice calls out from the back of the house.
“I’m home! I brought a friend!”
“Okay!”
She shrugs and leads us upstairs as I suppress a laugh. The whole screaming exchange was so odd but so Abby.
When we walk into her room, I’m almost positive we aren’t in the right place. The walls are black, and one she’s written on like a chalkboard. It’s messy but somehow looks like organized chaos. For some reason I was picturing pink and girly and bright.
She takes my makeup bag while I’m taking it all in and dumps it on the bed before pulling me over to her desk chair. Once I'm sitting she goes and grabs her makeup and gets to work.
"Close your eyes," she instructs, before smoothing something over my eyelids. She continues brushing makeup over my face and stays quiet for a moment. The silence almost feels heavy, like she's waiting to drop something heavy. I reach up and give her hand a squeeze before dropping mine back to my lap. She gives a sigh and continues brushing on eye shadow.
"Listen. I just wanted to say thanks. It means a lot that you're so accepting. I've lost a lot of friends over my sexuality and I didn't want to lose you too. I promise I'm not going to make things weird or anything," she finishes, her brush stopping. I blink open my eyes and grab my phone out of my pocket.
'I'm glad you told me. I would never judge you for who you are, just like I know you wouldn’t judge me for being bi. And I wasn't worried about that,' I type, giving her a playful eye roll. She grins and hugs me tight for a minute before pulling back.
"Okay, enough of this." Abby sniffs and wipes away a couple of tears from her cheeks before adding eyeliner and mascara to my eyes. "Tell me what's going on with you and the guys."
'I like them all, that's the problem.' She reads the message and chuckles. Taking a deep breath, I write another message out. ‘I like you too. So I won't be doing anything about it because I don't want to ruin anything.’
"Well, I don't think that will be an issue. We aren't your average people," she says with a grin but refuses to elaborate. Instead, she hurries into her closet and throws a black dress at me. I shrug and head into her adjoining bathroom and quickly change clothes. It's a cute sleeveless dress that ruffles out at the bottom. I head back into her room and pull on my black boots and leather jacket.
When I finally turn to her mirror, I see the makeup she did. It looks great. My eyes are smoky, and the dark lipstick fits my usual style. I love it. I turn to her and pull her into a hug while giving a quiet squeal.
"You like it, then?" she asks, laughing. I nod vehemently, and she smiles before choosing her own outfit and disappearing. When she comes out, she's wearing skinny jeans, a bright pink shirt, and heels. She looks adorable and my breath catches for a second as my eyes take her in.
"Abby! Cole's here!" her mom yells up to us, snapping me from the eye fucking I’m giving her, and we finish as quickly as we can before running down the stairs and jumping into our waiting ride.
“Oh look, we didn’t have to wait for two hours, miracles do happen.” Cole’s teasing is met with a glare from Abby and he chuckles, giving me a wink.
"First, we need to stop for food," Trent announces as soon as we squeeze into the back of the car, ignoring Cole’s teasing as well.
"Fine, but go to a drive-thru!" Abby says quickly, she’s practically bouncing in her seat she’s so excited.
I pull out my phone and type 'Adam?'
"He's not coming tonight, his parents wanted him to babysit." A frown tugs down Abby’s lips, and I have a feeling there’s something more to the situation there but don’t press.
When we finally walk up to the house fifteen minutes later, stuffed full of burgers and fries, I hesitate. My stomach churns at the thought of going inside, but Abby pulls me with her into the mass of people inside. The panic slams into me so hard my stomach lurches, but Abby’s voice grounds me.
"It's going to be fun, I promise," Abby says, dragging me further into the party. Being here is already a big step, but they don't know that, and I don't want to ruin their fun.
We all split up inside, Abby sticking with me and pulling me to the dance floor, while Trent heads for the back porch and Cole joins a group near the air hockey table. After the first two songs, I’m finally able to relax and start dancing with her. The bodies pressing around us make it so hot on the dance floor, by the fourth song I feel the room spinning. Fresh air, now.
I tap her on the shoulder and mime drinking. She nods, and I turn to squeeze my way through the dancing crowd. The temperature immediate
ly drops when I'm free, and I let out a sigh of relief before heading into the kitchen. I twist my hair and lift it off of my neck, cooling down before searching out a safe drink. Spotting a bottle of water, I snatch it and crack it open. I down half of it and lean against the refrigerator before shutting my eyes, just enjoying a moment of peace.
"Hey, you're the new girl, right," someone says. I open my eyes to see a slightly familiar face. Someone I've seen around but can't actually place. Not surprising, I’ve been pretty antisocial.
I give him a quick wave and nod and his eyes light up, making a knot form in the pit of my stomach. He steps into my personal space, leaning closer to me.
"Doesn't that make you vulnerable? Anyone could come up and you can't even scream." His voice low and husky, like the idea of assaulting me turns him on. My heart rate picks up when I feel him growing hard against my hip, and I let out a whimper, closing my eyes and bracing myself to fight back.
A moment later I hear an ‘oof’ sound as he's slammed into the floor, Cole looking down at him with deadly serious eyes. He pulls his elbow back and slams his fist into the other guy's eye before I rush over and pull him away, tears running down my face. Cole takes one look at me before turning and slamming his fist into the guy’s other eye. He finally steps away and takes my hand. Trent's there a moment later, pulling the guy to his feet and dragging him outside before landing a hit to the guy’s stomach and tossing him into the yard. For the first time tonight, the party is dead silent, which only makes my tears fall harder.
"We're leaving. Come on, Trent," Cole growls, pulling me out of the party with them. Abby follows behind us, clutching my other hand and looking like she's not sure what to do—cry with me or go punch the jerk in his face. I have a feeling she wouldn’t go easy on him either.
Well, that’s two for two on shitty party nights.
The drive home is silent, both guys in the front seats still fuming. Abby stays quiet, which is definitely unlike her. It’s like they don’t know what to say to me now, which makes it all so much worse.
I'm numb, honestly. At this point, I'm afraid to let myself fully think about what happened. They barely whisper bye as we pull up to Abby’s house. We're inside her place and changed into pajamas before I really process anything. I let out a shuddering breath, and Abby scoots closer, holding me tight. Our phones chime, and she finally pulls away to grab them.
Cole: You okay, Charlie girl?
Trent: I'm sorry we weren't there sooner.
Me: It's okay, I think he was just trying to scare me. I was preparing to fight back.
Adam: Wait… what happened?!
Cole: Some asshole thought it would be okay to try and push himself on Charlie.
Adam: Who do I need to kill?
Cole: I’ll update you later, but don’t worry, I punched him.
Adam: Good. Sorry I wasn’t there, Charlie.
Me: Not your fault, I’m alright.
Abby: Come Monday and everyone will know what a creep he is.
Cole: I've never wanted to hurt someone as bad as I did tonight.
Me: Thanks for coming to my rescue <3 You guys are seriously the best friends.
Trent: Don't friend zone me, beautiful.
Cole: Do it, you know you like me more.
Abby: Don't be dorks, she decided to be my lesbian lover
I quietly laugh at that, and she chuckles. We laugh more when they don't respond for a few minutes. I give her a wink and type in a response.
Me: Did she break you?
Cole: I can share
Trent: Same, Abbs isn't that much of a competition. Now Cole, he has that whole broody and dark thing going that chicks dig. But I’m the hot one of us all.
Abby: Shut up, I'm cuter than both of you. Plus, a woman knows how to do it right.
Cole: Oh my god, Abbs.
Me: Don't fight over me, I'm not worth all that.
Abby pulls her phone away from her face and glares at me. It was meant to be a joke, but I can't say I disagree with the sentiment. She’s not having it though.
Cole: Yes you are
Trent: Definitely
Abby: That better have been a joke.
Me: Sorry, sorry. Goodnight guys.
Trent: Dream about me ;)
Cole: Night, Charlie girl. Tomorrow we'll make it up to you.
I smile softly and snuggle into the blanket, setting my phone aside. I'd warned Abby about my nightmares and she wasn't afraid, so I can actually relax. She snuggles into my side, knowing I need the comfort. Before she falls asleep, she reaches up and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, an unreadable look in her eyes.
“Don’t worry, we won’t let anything happen to you.” Her promise takes my breath away, the intensity behind the words meaning more than she could know. I simply nod and close my eyes, her breaths evening out as she slips into sleep.
Moments later I fall asleep, knowing I've got my friends to keep me safe and sane.
Friday
Lunch
Charlie
The next few weeks fly by as I settle into a routine with my new friends and living with Sophia. Cole and I are still practicing our midterm song. Our class performance is scheduled for next week. I’m finally caught up, so my homework isn’t as brain-melting as before, but we all continue studying at the library with an occasional appearance from Trent and Alice. I appreciate that they join me, and we’re semi productive so their families and Sophia don’t mind.
I still have feelings for them that only seem to grow each day, but like I told Abby, there’s not much I can do about it. The flirting is there, but it hasn’t moved into more, and I have doubts that it will.
“It’s Friday, guys!” Abby announces, joining us at the table. She loves Fridays, but I generally spend my weekends at home studying so I don’t exactly look forward to them. But now that I’m caught up, maybe I can join them more.
‘Sophia wants to meet you guys. Movie night at my place this weekend, sometime?’ I write down and pass the notebook. It makes its way around our round lunch table until it reaches me again. I smile at everyone’s yes.
“Saturday?” Abby suggests and everyone agrees quickly. I’m sure Sophia will be cool with it. She seems happy with the way things are going so far, but a part of me worries she won’t want to keep me if I press too much.
I try my best to push my negative thoughts away lately, but they still pop up occasionally. A bad habit three years in the making.
The conversation topic for the rest of the day is fall break and midterms. We have midterms next week and then get a week off of school for fall break. I’m looking forward to a break since the constant studying has been rough. It’ll be so nice to just relax and have fun for a week. I’ve never had a group of friends like this, ones that I can just be myself with, no judgement.
I text Sophia while I’m sitting at lunch, asking if the movie night will be okay. She still doesn’t answer by the time I’m walking out front to meet her. In fact, I’ve been waiting for twenty minutes and still no sign of her. I call her phone but hang up when it goes to voicemail, planning to text her again and walk when Danielle pulls up. My heart stops.
Danielle only comes by the house for random home visits and to take me out of homes. She doesn’t do school pickups unless I’m moving.
Does Sophia not want me?
Is that why she didn’t answer?
“Hey, Charlie, is everything okay?” Alice asks, walking up behind me. She must’ve had one of her academic clubs after school to just be leaving. I see the look of concern on her face and know she can easily see through my thinly veiled panic, my chest rising and falling rapidly. Not wanting to cause a scene, I give her a fake reassuring smile as Danielle gets out of her car, barely suppressing the tears.
Once we’re in the car, I study her face with narrowed eyes, but nothing in her expression gives away the reason behind her being here.
“Hey, Charlie, I asked Sophia if I could pick you up. We need to talk.” Sh
e has her serious voice, which does nothing to stop the awful dropping feeling in my stomach. I give a feeble nod and push back more tears. I shoot Alice one more small smile in case I don’t see her again. The feeling of dread is so strong, I’m afraid I’ll vomit all over Danielle’s car.
Some of the home exits are swift, and we don’t really get the choice to say goodbye to anyone. The idea of leaving without saying bye to my misfits is unbearable. I try to hold in the tears and panic, but I just can’t push it away this time. Life has finally started to feel worthwhile again which makes the thought of leaving so much worse.
“It’s going to be all right, Charlie. I just have some news for you,” she tries to reassure me, but I just give a feeble nod and she doesn’t try to speak again while she drives. The serious tone of her voice is enough but paired with her actually being quiet, it does nothing to calm me.
She generally takes me to get a snack on these occasions. Which is how I know what’s coming, I’ve just never cared before. This time I don’t want to leave. I like Sophia, and I like my friends. I didn’t even see this one coming. I genuinely thought Sophia and I were doing all right… good, even.
We pull up to the coffee shop, and I’m happy it isn’t a restaurant or café for once. My stomach can’t handle any food right now. Danielle orders us both cappuccinos and sits down at the table I choose. She takes a deep breath and I finally meet her serious gaze.
“Your family’s case has been reopened. I thought it was better I come to explain in person. There’s a new case a few states away that was too similar to theirs to be ignored. When their detectives were researching, they noticed that your father and the woman in this case worked in the same lab in the past. She moved away six months before the men came to your home. When investigating her life here, they happened to make a connection. This means that you may have to talk to Detective Flynn again. They didn’t look too far into your father’s work the first time since nothing stood out as suspicious. He was just a chemist overseeing drug trials, it wasn’t a red flag. But this could change things,” she explains in a calming tone. I stare at her, unblinking as I process it all.