“Good. Do you think this looks all right?”
She glances me over, confusion in her gaze. “You look beautiful, Mom. Are you nervous or something?”
“Maybe just a little,” I acknowledge.
Her look turns calculating, and she hums in thought. “Do you like him?”
“I mean, sure. Why wouldn’t I? He’s a good guy. Just because I kept him out of our lives, doesn’t mean I ever stopped liking him.”
“Did you ever love him?”
I release a tense breath, admitting the truth. “I did. I loved him for a very long time.”
Her lips turn into a frown. “Do you still?”
“You’re full of questions,” I tease. I attempt to steer her in another direction, but she doesn’t go for it.
“Momma, there’s nothing wrong with you still loving him. It would make me happy if you do. If not, then that’s okay too...I just don’t want you to feel weird if you love him. Just cause Grammy and Pops say you shouldn’t, doesn’t mean that’s how you have to feel.”
“When did you get so smart?” I inquire, and she cracks a radiant smile.
“I’ve always been a genius.”
I roll my eyes and let out a snicker. “Hmm...I wouldn’t go that far, but you did get my brains, after all.”
“Oh gosh,” she huffs. “Just come on, Momma; quit stalling already. You look beautiful!”
With a nod, I pull her in for a quick hug. I grab my purse, searching for every ounce of courage I can find and put my sandals back on. With all of my excuses out of the way, we load back into my Mercedes, and then we’re back on the road, headed to see the man who has always been the love of my life.
***
“The football players are so big!” Natasha gushes as we head for the sidelines.
I spot Nate immediately. He’s wearing his ball cap supporting the school, and holding a clipboard, and I swear he’s never looked so good. There’s no doubt in my mind that he’s in his element out here.
“Dad!” Sashy yells and brightens with her eagerness. It’s like a switch flips and she’s instantly pumped up, she takes off in a jog for him.
I wish she wouldn’t have left my side, but I have to put my big girl panties on and deal with Nathanial Owens on my own. As much as I’d like to lean on my daughter as a buffer with him, I know I can’t. It’s not fair to put her in that position.
My heart melts when she reaches him, and he embraces her in a bear hug. He even lifts her off her feet. I tear up at the realization that I’ve robbed her of this until now. He says something I can’t hear, and she bursts into giggles. My daughter is positively smitten with her father, and I’m so grateful that this transition is smooth for both of them. My steps falter, slowing to offer them their private moment, along with collecting my courage.
A few boys run over, curiosity burning into the team, no doubt. Eventually, I make it to Nate too. I arrive in time to hear him say, “Boys, this is my daughter. I expect you all to treat her like a little sister. Be respectful, keep your thoughts to yourself, and scare off any boys you see trying to talk to her.”
They dutifully agree, and a laugh breaks free from me, drawing Nate’s attention. I should’ve known he’d react to her like this. He was fiercely protective of me when we were kids. It only seems right he’d be just as bad, if not worse, with her. His gaze clashes with mine, and I gulp. He’s ridiculously sexy all the time, but him around football brings so many memories crashing back to me.
“Hey, Coach.” I attempt to break up the tense stare-off we seem to be caught up in.
“Hey, beautiful,” he replies smoothly, and the boys, along with my daughter, all zero in on me.
“Who’s this, Coach?” his students ask. Their sudden interest makes me blush.
Since when did I turn into this shy, schoolgirl type anyway? It has to be Nate and the way he jumbles me all up inside with feelings.
He’s serious when he turns to them and proclaims, “This is Mrs. Coach. You treat her and my daughter with polite respect. You do so, and I won’t make you run to China and back.”
They laugh, adamantly agreeing.
The meaning of his words isn’t lost on me, though. He’s implied that I’m his wife and Natasha is his daughter. The crazy thing is that I don’t move to correct the assumption either. It wouldn’t hurt anyone if his students believed we were married, would it?
It’s definitely not any of their business what’s been going on in our private lives; that’s for sure. It could easily become a touch awkward if Nate gets a girlfriend. Although I don’t want to even go there with my thoughts. It’ll just upset me as it always has in the past. In my eyes, I’ve always been Nate’s girl, and he’s always been mine in return. That detail in my mind hasn’t changed in the slightest.
Nate
Jesus, I wasn’t expecting Sunshine to show up and steal my breath away. She doesn’t even have to attempt to stand out, and I notice her immediately. I saw my daughter next to her, and with it came this instant joy, filling my chest. It’s only been a week now, and my life has completely done a one-eighty, it seems. Since I found out Natasha is mine, everything is different for me. Somehow it feels like it’s been longer, and I’ve missed them—both of them.
“This is Mrs. Coach,” I inform the team and remind them to be respectful to her, along with my daughter. I won’t have any of them acting like fools around my girls. I saw how they stared at Sashy with interest when they initially arrived. My daughter is completely stunning and far too young for them. Not only that, but she’s my blood. Any guys interested better take a hike for the near future where she’s concerned.
“Mrs. Coach, hmm...” Sunshine comments and beams a bright smile my way, once the boys have run off to execute the next play.
With an easy shrug, I flash a grin. “I won’t have to deal with teasing or a ton of questions in the locker room later. It’s best to nip it in the bud right away. Surprisingly, these kids ask everything that comes to mind, once they warm up to you.”
“Oh, I imagine so. Sashy is just as inquisitive when she gets used to people as well.”
“Mooom,” Natasha groans, and I chuckle. I can’t seem to stop smiling and laughing, and I blame these two beauties for it. Could this be my life all the time, if they were constantly around?
“What? Girl, you know it’s true. I see you eyeing those boys, too. Which one do you think is cute?”
“None of ‘em,” I cut in. I squash that topic immediately, and it’s Sunshine’s turn to laugh at my expense.
Natasha huffs and mutters, “I’m allowed to think they’re cute. It doesn’t mean I want to date them or anything.”
My wide gaze meets Sunshine’s, and she shakes her head, waving my concern away. I’ll let it go for the moment, but this is definitely something we’re discussing at another time. Our daughter is far too young to have boys on her mind, and not only that, but her athletic ability is extremely impressive. She needs to be focused on where it will benefit her future.
Wrapping my arm around my daughter’s shoulder, I lean down a touch. My brothers and I are damn near giants around this town, and while she’s tall for her age, I still dwarf her and Sunshine. “Your uncle Clyde and aunt Shyla are very excited to meet you. Uncle Ty had a game this weekend. So he couldn’t fly in, but he wants to know as soon as possible the next time you and your mom are visiting. That way he can try to be here.”
“Wow, I can’t believe they all want to meet me. I’m excited too.”
I give her a little squeeze. “Of course they do, sweetheart. Our family is close; it’s always been that way. Aunt Shyla was already asking for your phone number to call and welcome you to the family.”
“And Uncle Ty’s football team was playing Dallas this weekend, right?”
I nod, probing, “You keep up with his games?”
She shakes her head. “I haven’t in the past. I like football, but I love basketball and volleyball more. I’ll definitely start watching all his
games now, so I can see him play and keep up.”
“Good. He’ll be thrilled to know you’re watching. And his showboating ass likes to talk to the camera, so watch these next few games. If the opportunity presents itself, he’ll take on a fine just to say hi to you in the middle of the game.”
She offers an excited, wide, white smile and I can’t help but return it with my own. It’s amazing how a kid can suddenly make you realize that your life was missing so much before.
“How much longer does practice run?”
“It’s actually about to be over. The play I told them to do was their last for the day.”
We stare out to the field in comfortable silence and watch as the assistant coach instructs the boys to run several forty-yard sprints before calling it in for the day.
I don’t embrace Sunshine, though every bone in my body is telling me to. I want to hold her so damn bad and kiss her. Rather than doing any of that, I turn to them and suggest, “I thought we’d head over to my brother’s place tomorrow so they could meet Natasha if that’s okay?”
Sunshine and Natasha both nod at my suggestion. My daughter’s much more enthusiastic at the idea, then Sunshine is. She appears more nervous than anything.
My assistant coach jogs over. “You want me to give end-of-day announcements? Or wait?”
“Yeah, man. That’d be great, thanks. This is my family. Sunshine,” I gesture to my left first, and then to my right. “And my daughter, Natasha.”
I can see in his expression he has a ton of questions, but he keeps them to himself. He offers polite hellos to both of my girls. He’ll be asking about it later, no doubt.
“I’ll be in to lock up, but if you can get the team cleared out this evening, I’d appreciate it.”
“Not a problem.” He nods and then strides toward the locker rooms.
“Okay, great,” I say and exhale. “Now, the real question is, what do you two want to have for dinner?”
Sunshine perks up. “We don’t want to impose on your job. We can wait until you do whatever you need to.”
“It’s no big deal. My assistant and the students all know what to do. I just have to complete a quick walk-through and lock up the offices once they’re finished.”
“It seems like you’ve fit in well here. I’m so happy for you, Nate.”
“Thanks, beautiful.” I grin at Sunshine and turn to our daughter. “Now, what are you in the mood for? I’m starving.”
She hums for a moment while my stomach grumbles loudly. I know I definitely want tacos. She eventually asks, “I thought you only had two restaurants in town?”
“We used to, but we’ve got more now. They just aren’t in the center of town like the first two. Tell me what you like, and I’ll let you know if we have it nearby.”
“Okay, how about Chinese?”
“I know just the place.”
“Can we get it to go, though? I want to go back to the bed and breakfast and watch some TV. I had to get up at 5:00 a.m. for my practice, and I could go for being lazy.”
“Cross country?” I ask, even though I feel my excitement fall at her already wanting to leave me. I was hoping to hang out with them nearly the entire weekend, and only leave when they wanted to go to bed.
She nods, and I give her shoulder another squeeze. This one is because I’m so damn proud of what a good kid she is. I couldn’t be more grateful for it. She definitely has Sunshine’s mindset with all her goals in place. I wish I’d had it together as much as she does at her age. Though I guess the world didn’t change too much for me until I was in high school and my parents died. That’s when it went all to shit for me.
“Okay. Well, I’ll let y’all rest for today, but I hope you’re up for hanging out tomorrow? Uncle Clyde was planning on barbecuing. Your aunt Shyla was making potato salad earlier today when I stopped by for lunch, and baking a pie for tomorrow.”
Her brow scrunches. “I love potato salad, but Dad, I still want to hang out tonight.”
My mood instantly lifts back up. I’m glad to hear it; it would’ve sucked to get food and drop them off right after. “You do? You’re not too worn out?”
“No way. I’m not missing out on time with you, just because I’m a little tired. Besides, I’m too excited to see you; I wouldn’t be able to sleep.”
Smiling widely, I glance at Sunshine. She’s quiet, watching the two of us as we discuss everything. She offers me a small, sad smile. I don’t know what it’s about, and I won’t ask right now, but I certainly hope she’ll tell me eventually.
***
We got the Chinese food and brought it back to the bed and breakfast, where they have a room for the weekend. After eating, Natasha flipped on the TV. Sunshine and I were soon left to our own accord, as my daughter passed out within the first few minutes.
“Does she always pass out after eating?” I ask, staring over at my pretty girl spread out over the couch. She’s in a deep sleep, emitting soft snores.
Sunshine laughs quietly and nods. “Yeah, she keeps herself pretty busy, so she falls asleep easily. It’s always been like that for her.”
“Must be nice. I don’t think I’ve passed out like that since my parents were around and I was in sports.”
She winces at my bluntness. “God, Nate, I’m so sorry about your mom and dad.”
“Losing them hit me hard,” I admit with a sigh. Raking my hand through my hair, I shake my head. “Hell, it was just as bad for my brothers. I don’t think I’ve acknowledged that until right now, actually.”
I can’t believe I’ve spent so many years thinking it hit me the hardest. I was being an insensitive fool. Of course, my brothers were just as affected. We all loved our parents. Yet, they managed to overcome and do something with their lives. I didn’t get that memo until just recently.
“They were amazing people—amazing parents,” Sunshine comments, and I agree. They were the best. I wish they were here now to meet my daughter; they would’ve loved her too.
“What about you, Sunshine? I know you’re a lawyer and a good one if I’d have to guess. I know your parents kept you and our daughter away from me when you were a teenager, but how about now? Do they still hate me enough to try and keep me out of your lives?”
“Wow, you’re just diving right in with this, huh?” she asks, and I shrug.
“I don’t have the option to be any other way. I need to know what I’m up against when it comes to seeing Natasha.”
“My parents don’t know you like I do, Nathan. They saw you as the boy I spent most of my time with, who got me pregnant and stole my heart in the process. To them, you were a distraction who was going to keep me away from my goals, because they knew I would’ve given up anything to be with you. They made me promise to stay away, to have their help for a future I wanted to offer our daughter. Then, they heard tidbits about you getting into fights and being drunk. They don’t know what kind of man you really are.”
Of course, her words hurt me. It sucks knowing people think of me like that, but it’s the hard truth. I can’t try and deny it, because it’s true. I was selfish and spiraling, but at the same time, I never knew about my kid. I thought Sunshine had abandoned me. I didn’t know what really happened because no one ever told me. I can’t promise I’d have been different, no matter how much I want to. In reality, I don’t know if I would’ve been, because the opportunity was stolen from me.
“And what kind of man is that?” I probe, a glutton for punishment.
The last thing I need right now is being made aware of any more negative opinions she may have of me. I’m doing pretty well. I’ve got a well-respected job that pays me decent enough to build a house and provide Natasha with anything she may need. Although, I know that Sunshine’s opinions about me mean way more than they should. If she considers I’m not enough, it’ll hurt.
“You’re a good man, Nate. You always have been, no matter what anyone else may’ve said. I’ve known you most of my life, and I’ve always believed that.”
“It wasn’t enough, it seems.”
“Just because I listened to my parents about keeping Sashy away, it doesn’t mean that it ever changed how I feel about you. I did it because I wanted to be able to offer our daughter a good life. Don’t get it twisted, Nate. If they hadn’t given me the ultimatum, I’d never have left you or not contacted you. My love for you never wavered. I was young and scared when I discovered I was pregnant. I didn’t see that I had many other options when it came down to it.”
Her words floor me. I had no idea she felt that way, especially with the way I treated her at the strip club. I was a dick, and yet she hasn’t tried to throw it in my face. At least I know now that her feelings were just as strong as mine when she moved away. I never understood why she never reached out and tried to contact me. Part of me wondered if she was upset about me taking her virginity. The thought of screwing our friendship up because we had sex, rattled me to my core. I had taken that step with her out of love and devotion, nothing else. I may’ve been a kid back then, but I knew that I loved her like no other.
“Thank you for saying that. And I appreciate you clearing it all up. I won’t lie, I was heartbroken when you left and never called. I was messed up over it for a long time. I don’t know if it was my parents dying at the same time that made the separation feel worse or if it was really that intense for me. I thought the world was ending—losing my parents and you at the same time. I had no idea how to process all the loss.”
“I’m so sorry, Nate. I know the words mean very little, and I could never say them enough, but it’s true. With all my heart, I really am.”
I nod, not able to reply. I’m getting choked up just talking about this with her. We could’ve had a damn good life together along with our daughter, and that knowledge burns me something fierce. I never stopped loving Sunshine, and now I have this amazing daughter to boot. Could we have a future as a family together? I won’t put that thought out of my mind, but even if it doesn’t happen, at least I’ll always have Natasha. I’ll have a piece of Sunshine that lives in our daughter. I’ll be grateful for that alone, for the rest of my life.
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