Worth The Fight

by Rachael Brownell

  How have I never noticed how delicious his ass is before?

  I'm not blind.

  "You gonna stare at my ass all day, or should we go inside?" Liam asks.

  Shit! We're standing outside the apartment, and I'm still staring at his ass.

  "Sorry," I mumble, gliding past him and walking through the open door.

  He doesn't let me get far, grabbing hold of my hips and pulling me back to him as he kicks the door shut behind us. When his lips begin to caress the side of my neck, I feel my knees threaten to give out.

  Risk it.

  He's worth the risk.

  My brain is screaming at my body, and I'm powerless to stop it.

  Turning in his arms, I wrap my arms around his neck and capture his lips for the third time. Suddenly, I’m lifted off the ground and we're moving.

  I've made my decision.

  There's no turning back.

  I hear a door slam against a wall as we move through the apartment. Then I'm being pressed against a mattress before Liam's body disconnects from mine for a split second while he strips his hoodie off.

  His lips are back on mine before I can process the loss, and I hear him rummaging around in a drawer. When his lips still against mine, I'm instantly filled with panic.

  "What?" I ask, pulling away.

  "I don't have anything," he replies, closing his eyes in frustration.

  It takes me a second to realize what he's talking about. Protection.

  I want to tell him it's okay, that I'm birth control and I trust him, but that's not who I am. Hell, Garrett and I were about to get married, and I still made him wear one. Thank God, considering recent events.

  Pushing off me, Liam paces the room, head tilted toward the ceiling.

  "I'm going to the store," he states, reaching for his discarded hoodie and pulling it over his head. Pointing his finger at me as he steps into the hall, he says, "Don't move."

  The front door slams moments later, and I relax back onto the bed.

  I'm thankful for a moment to myself, but as I lay on Liam's bed, I can't help but stare at the wall he had me pushed up against.

  Vivid images of what happened flood my memory.

  The heat in my cheeks rises.

  Naughty thoughts of Liam take over, and realization smacks me across the face.

  This was a sign.

  A sign that we shouldn't do this.

  A flashing neon sign telling me to slow down. To take time to think this over.

  I'm a planner. A perfectionist. I don't do things on a whim.

  This . . . There was no planning this.

  And now I'm doubting my decision.

  There's no way I can decide here. In what feels like the smallest apartment on the face of the planet suddenly. It's bigger than the house I grew up in, yet there's nowhere to hide. Nowhere to escape.

  I know what I need to do, and it has to happen quickly.

  Disobeying Liam's order, I rush down the hall to my room and pull my duffel bag from the bottom of my closet. I begin shoving clothes in at warp speed. Stepping across the hall, I grab my toothbrush, makeup, and a few shower essentials. Tossing them in my bag, I zip it up and strip down, changing into a clean pair of leggings and an oversized sweater.

  My car is parked in the gated lot behind the building. If I'm going to make a clean getaway, I need to go now. Liam will be back any moment, and there's only one way in and one way out. I'd like to be gone before he gets home. If I'm not, I won't be able to say no to him, and we'll continue down the path we were on before he left.

  A path that could be destructive.

  Clicking the button to close the gate behind me, I pull away from the center of the city. Watching in my rearview mirror as I wait for the light to change, I spot Liam's car a block behind me. Tapping my thumbs against the steering wheel, I beg the light to change, and when it finally does, I speed off, keeping my eyes trained on Liam's car. As soon as he turns into the parking lot, I let out a sigh and turn my attention to the road ahead of me.

  I have no idea where I'm going. No clue as to where I'll sleep tonight. No plan as to how long I'll be gone. All I know is I need time to think, and I need to do that alone.

  Sasha and Kevin's wedding is next weekend, and I'll need to be back in time for that. I have seven days to figure my shit out. To get my head on straight. To decide the future of my relationship with Liam.

  Right now, my goal is to get as far away from the city as possible. As far away from the situation as I can get. Because I have a feeling I just fucked up and my heart is about to break. Again. For the third time in my life.

  To be honest, I'm not sure it ever healed from the night I felt it shatter in my chest.

  The night Liam held me until the sun rose as my tears continued to fall.

  There was an unspoken rule between my father and I. If I was ever in trouble, if I ever needed help, I was to call him. No questions asked. He would be there to save me.

  The first time I took advantage of the rule, I got lost coming home from a football game in a neighboring town, ran out of gas, and was stranded. He came to my rescue at two o'clock in the morning.

  Our rescue I should say. Liam was with me. He was drunk. We had gone to a party after the game, and he had a few too many. Knowing he was drinking, I didn't that night. Thankfully. My punishment would have been far more severe had I been drinking.

  The second time I called, I was in an accident. Liam and I were screwing around in the car, and I accidentally ran over a giant curb and blew out two tires. I made Liam pay for one of them since it was partially his fault I was distracted and didn't see it.

  It was the last time I called my father for help that I regret, though.

  I was out with friends. Celebrating the fact we were about to graduate from high school. The party was loud, the music even louder. Liam and I got pulled into a game of beer pong and even though we continued to win, and Liam was drinking most of the beer, I still knew I'd had too much to drive.

  So I called my father.

  He and my mother were on their way home after having dinner with Liam's parents. He was disappointed. I could hear it in his voice. Not that I had called but that I had succumbed to the peer pressure of drinking, something I didn't do often.

  Liam and I waited on the front steps of Kendra's house for over an hour for my parents to arrive. The longest hour of my life. The moment we saw Liam's father's truck pull in the driveway, I knew something was wrong.

  I stood, waiting for my father to exit the passenger door, but he never did. As Michael approached, fear consumed my body, and tears began to stream down my face. As soon as the word “accident” slipped past his lips, I collapsed, Liam catching me before I hit the ground.

  I remember him carrying me to the truck and placing me in his lap in the backseat as his father drove us to the hospital. I remember sitting in the waiting room to hear if my parents were going to be okay. But what I remember most vividly is the moment the doctor called my name.

  The sound of despair in his voice.

  The look of dread on his face.

  I knew then I'd lost one of my parents. What I never imagined is I would lose them both in the same night.

  Chapter Eleven

  My eyes are focused on the road as I drive for a few hours with no destination in mind. It's lunchtime before I make my first and what ends up being my only stop.

  A small diner, in the middle of nowhere. The perfect place to grab a bite to eat and figure out my next move. Only, I don't need to. The bright yellow flyer perfectly placed at eye level on the front door is the answer to my dilemma.

  Rental cabins.

  On a lake.

  Exactly what I need right now. A place to decompress and figure my shit out. Alone.

  That word scares the crap out of me. There are very few things I've had to handle on my own in life. Liam's always been there to share his words of wisdom, give his opinion, or stop me from making poor decisions. He's always been th
e one person I could call.

  Not this time.

  He can't figure this out for me.

  Hell, being in the same room as him complicates things. My brain turns to mush. All I can think about is kissing him, and then those thoughts lead to panic, which is what has led me to where I'm standing right now.

  Staring at a flyer on a door. Looking as lost as I feel.

  Taking a picture of the phone number on the flyer, I ignore the missed calls and text messages. I've ignored them since my phone started blowing up as I hit the highway. I turned the ringer off after the third call, but I couldn't bring myself to turn off my phone.

  I'll read his messages.

  I'll listen to the voice mails.

  Not right now, but once I'm settled and have had time to compose a response. One that I'm sure of.

  I can hear him now.

  Worried out of his mind. The panic in his voice. The confusion.

  I can even picture the look on his face. The way he pinches the bridge of his nose when he's frustrated. His eyes will be closed and his lips pursed.

  And when I finally do call him back, the way his shoulders will sag in relief that I'm safe.

  I hate that I'm doing this to him. I feel bad for running away, but I was on the verge of having a major panic attack. One I wouldn't have recovered from any time soon, and I'd rather cause him a day’s worth of suffering than have him spend the next two weeks trying to talk me off the ledge. And that's assuming he could.

  When it was Garrett who I was upset over, he was able to bring me out of the darkness. I was angry and confused and hurt. Still, I knew I would heal in time because I had Liam by my side. I had his support to get through.

  It's different now that my heart is torn over Liam.

  "Are you okay?" I hear a young voice ask from behind me.

  Stepping aside, I turn to find a petite brunette, no more than seven or eight years old, holding a coloring book in one hand and a box of crayons in the other, staring at me with a frown on her face.

  "I'm sorry," I begin. "I didn't mean to block the door."

  "It's okay," she chirps, her frown turning into a smile. "You looked like you were thinking about something really sad. You know what makes me feel better when I'm sad? Ice cream. You should have some. It'll make you feel better."

  Her enthusiasm for ice cream and sweet, innocent personality bring a smile to my face.

  "I think I will. Thank you," I say as I open the door and she skips inside.

  Sliding into the first available booth, I watch as she bounces into the arms of a waitress who can't be much older than me. The waitress stoops down so she's eye level with the little girl. Then the girl whispers something in the waitress’s ear that causes her to look in my direction.

  That's when I look away, embarrassed I was staring for as long as I was. I keep my attention trained on the paper placemat on the table in front of me that also serves as a menu. I'm still scrolling when I hear, "So I hear you're having a bad day and that ice cream is on the menu."

  Making eye contact with the waitress again, I catch the hint of humor in her stare.

  "That's what I've been told," I begin as she takes the seat across from me.

  "Marley's pretty observant for her age."

  "Your daughter?"

  "My niece. Her mom isn't around, and my brother drives a long-haul truck, so she stays with me when he's out of town."

  "She's a cutie," I say, looking past the waitress at a happy Marley, scribbling away in her coloring book.

  She reminds me of a girl in my class last year. Always smiling but always watching what was going on around her. Observant. Smarter than she let on.

  One of my favorite students.

  "So about that ice cream . . . did you want real food first?"

  The waitress, Amanda, and I end up talking while I wait for my food. She's a sweet girl, a year younger than me, with a good head on her shoulders. She's going to school full time, working full time, and helping raise Marley. She made me exhausted just thinking about how hard she works every day.

  She's also lived in this little town her entire life and happens to know the owners of the lake cabins I was looking at. After only a five-minute conversation, I've booked one for the next three nights with the option to stay longer if I want to.

  Waving to Marley and Amanda as I pull out of the parking lot, I already make a mental note to stop and see them again before I head back home.

  The key to the cabin is waiting for me under the mat as expected. As soon as I push open the heavy wooden door, a sense of peace washes over me.

  Or maybe it's my lack of sleep catching up to me.

  I force myself to keep going, but I can do no more than shuffle along. I can barely keep my eyes open.

  Walking through the small cabin, I take in the cute, beach-themed decor. From the teal pillows on the sofa covered in starfish to the framed lighthouse pictures adorning the walls, this place gives off a relaxing vibe, which is exactly what I need right now. Continuing through the small two-bedroom home, I pop my head into the kitchen, ensuring there is a coffee maker for the morning, and am pleasantly surprised to see that not only is there one but the owner also put flavored creamer and sugars in cute glass jars sitting next to it.

  Moving down the hall, there is a small bedroom with a twin-sized bed on my left and a bathroom on my right. Both decorated in soft, soothing colors. At the end of the hall is the other bedroom, this one with a full-sized bed boasting the same calming colors as the rest of the place.

  Dropping my duffel bag at the end of the bed, I flop face first onto the pale-gray comforter and close my eyes. I'm quickly lulled to sleep by the silence surrounding me.

  Waking up alone, in an unfamiliar bedroom, is alarming. So much so I thrash around for a moment before the events of the day come back to me.

  The room is engulfed in darkness, but there is a light shining from under the bedroom door. Reaching for the knob, my hand pauses when I realize I didn't shut the door. I didn't turn on any lights when I arrived.

  I was so tired I walked into the bedroom and went to sleep.

  Did I lock the door behind me?

  Fuck!

  Someone could be out there.

  Cracking the door open only a sliver, I watch for any signs I'm not alone. The smell of garlic and tomatoes assaults my nose, causing my stomach to grumble loudly.

  Not alone.

  Someone else is in the cabin. Cooking food. And it sounds like humming.

  The only person I know who hums while they cook is Sasha. And there's no way she's here, is there?

  Creeping down the hall as silently as I can, I peer around the corner to find Sasha swinging her hips and humming to herself as she stirs a pot on the stove. Watching in both relief and confusion, I wait a few beats before announcing my presence by clearing my throat. Sasha doesn't even flinch.

  "It's about time you woke up. I've been here for hours."

  "What are you doing here?" I ask, sliding up next to her.

  "I was told you needed me, so here I am."

  "Who told you—"

  I stop myself. I know who sent her. And I know how she found me.

  My heart fills with joy that she's here but also irritation at the fact my attempt to run and hide failed miserably. I should have known it would, though. Liam is very skilled. There's a reason he's the most sought-after private investigator in the area.

  "Liam said you took off. That he was worried about you but that he couldn't be the one to bring you back, so he asked me to. Care to explain why?"

  "What's for dinner?" I ask, attempting to change the subject.

  Sasha stops stirring the pot of red sauce on the stove and turns to face me.

  "What's going on, Cass?"

  Letting out a sigh, I close my eyes and shake my head. What am I supposed to say? I kissed Liam and ran away because I was scared? That's not going to go over well. We've had to explain our relationship to everyone over the years, and we
've both maintained that we're strictly friends. We've defended ourselves time and time again and now . . . what? We changed our mind? We lied?

  "It can't be that bad," Sasha states, nudging me with her shoulder.

  "It can and it is." Making eye contact with Sasha, I try to convey with my eyes how serious the situation is.

  "What'd you do, sleep with Liam?" She laughs. When I don't join her, she stops abruptly, her face taking on a shocked look before quickly lighting up with a smile. "It's about time."

  "What?"

  Is she seriously encouraging the idea? Does she not understand the risks?

  "Girl, he's been in love with you forever. I'm just glad he finally told you. We were all afraid he was going to stand up at your wedding and object to you marrying Garrett. That wasn't the way we wanted you to find out."

  Liam's in love with me? He's been in love with me? For how long? Why didn't he tell me?

  I can answer that last one myself.

  Because I was with Garrett.

  But how does she know all of this? How did I not see it?

  "I didn't sleep with Liam," I finally blurt out. "And what makes you think he's in love with me? We're friends, Sasha. You know that. We've always been only friends."

  "If you didn't sleep with him, why did you run away?"

  "I didn't run away," I lie.

  "Sure you didn't. And Liam didn't break the law by tracking your cell phone."

  I should have turned my phone off instead of on silent. If I had, he wouldn't have been able to find me as easily. He still would have, but it would have taken him a lot longer. By leaving my phone on, I made his job easier.

  "I just needed to get away for a few days. I need time to think. A lot has changed in the last month. I'm just overwhelmed."

  Sasha doesn't reply right away, moving the pot off the burner and reaching for the oven mitt. The heat from the oven when she opens the door warms my skin, causing it to pebble with goosebumps.

  It reminds me of how my skin reacted when Liam touched me. As if my body was craving his touch, searching for it.

  Damn it!

  Rubbing my hands up and down my arms doesn't push away the memories of earlier. If anything, it makes me wish he were here. Holding me close. My body pressed against his.