The Nanny's Family Wish (The Culhanes 0f Cedar River Book 3)

by Helen Lacey

  David shrugged. “I guess you could, but I can’t see the point hiring anyone to move your stuff for such a short time. You may as well leave them here. The new nanny won’t be a live-in. No point in moving the stuff twice. I mean, if you decide to go to Texas, you can just get it moved directly there.”

  She didn’t respond and David turned his gaze toward her briefly, hoping she’d contradict his comment. But she didn’t.

  “Or not,” he added.

  “I think I’ll just replace it when I figure out my next steps. You can take it down to the cabin, if you want. You said the place needed a few things to make it more livable.”

  “So,” he continued. “So where will you go once you leave? To stay with Tess at the Triple C?”

  “No, I’m going to stay at O’Sullivan’s for a few days,” she replied. “Just to get my bearings. After that I haven’t made any firm decisions.”

  David was pleased to hear it. At least she wasn’t racing off to Texas immediately. “Do you plan on working somewhere?”

  “Of course,” she replied. “I thought I’d try to get a position back in office admin. I have a couple of applications to send out.”

  “If you need references, let me know.”

  “Oh, I will,” she said. “I must say, you’ve become very agreeable all of a sudden.”

  “It’s not sudden,” he replied. “I’ve simply realized that trying to talk you out of leaving is futile.”

  “What does futile mean, Daddy?”

  Jasper’s quiet voice cut through their conversation. David glanced at his son in the rearview mirror. “It means there’s no point.”

  “Like when I don’t want to eat brussels sprouts?”

  David grinned. “Something like that.”

  “Or peas!” Scarlett said, chiming in.

  “You love peas,” Annie reminded his daughter.

  Scarlett giggled. “I forgot. Daddy, will our new mommy make Jasper eat brussels sprouts?”

  David sucked in a breath. New mommy? Of course...because in many ways Scarlett regarded Annie as her mother. And probably Jasper did, too.

  “Say something to them,” she whispered in a stern tone, glaring at him.

  David cleared his throat and spoke. “Kids, you know that even though a nanny takes you to school, and tucks you in at night and reads you a bedtime story, she’s not your mommy, right?”

  Scarlett looked puzzled, and her lip began to tremble. David looked at his daughter in the rearview mirror and his heart dropped. “Someday, you’ll have a mommy again, honey,” he said, desperate to comfort his children.

  “They will?” Annie asked, her voice so low he knew the kids couldn’t hear her.

  He shrugged and turned off toward town. “Sure.”

  “You know, that means you’d have to get married again?”

  “I know what it means,” he replied quietly. “I’m not antimarriage. I liked being married. In fact, I think I was pretty good at it.”

  She made a slight huffing sound. “I didn’t realize you were open to such a commitment.”

  “I wasn’t,” he said and jerked his gaze sideways for a second, getting a clear view of her tightly wired jaw and unblinking eyes. “But who knows what the future might hold?”

  * * *

  The last thing Annie wanted to do was think about David getting married.

  Second last, she corrected. The very last thing she wanted to do was spend an hour or so at JoJo’s pizza parlor and pretend that she wasn’t dying inside.

  Of course the kids quickly pulled her out of her funk and once they were seated and had ordered, she listened as Jasper spoke about the latest book on dragons that he was reading. Jasper usually didn’t say much—he was like his father in that way—but she’d sensed his need for quiet conversation and reassurance for days. And Scarlett clung to her, holding her hand, demanding hugs and kisses before bedtime. Determined to make the transition as easy as possible for the children, Annie realized she needed to lots of time with both of them over the ensuing weeks, so they both understood why she was leaving in a way that made them feel safe and loved.

  As she watched the kids munching on breadsticks, Annie’s logic blurred. She’d always known how hard leaving them would be, but faced with the reality that her departure from their lives was only a couple of weeks away, an ache formed deep within her chest. She loved them, and knew the feelings were reciprocated and suddenly experienced an acute sense of loss that rocked her to the core.

  “Are you okay, Annie?”

  David’s deep voice pulled her from her thoughts. “I’m fine.”

  “You look pale.”

  “Must be the lighting in here,” she said and grabbed a breadstick. “Or just my complexion.”

  He rested his elbows on the table and linked his hands. “You have nice skin.”

  Annie’s cheeks burned. She wasn’t used to compliments from him. “That’s sweet to say.”

  “Sweet?” he mused and grinned slightly. “Don’t think I’ve ever been called that before.”

  Annie tried to bite back the smile forming on her lips and failed. “I’m sure Mittie thinks so.”

  David chuckled. “As my grandmother, she’s biased.”

  Annie suspected Mittie thought her grandson hung the moon. “She is, but everyone else can’t be wrong.”

  He laughed again and the deep, sexy sound made her skin goose bump. “To know me is to love me, you mean?”

  Emotion rose through her blood, but she still managed a shaky smile. “I wouldn’t... I wouldn’t go that far.”

  His gaze darkened. “Annie, after all this time you know me pretty well.”

  “I guess I do.”

  Their pizza arrived before he could respond and Annie spent the following minutes dishing out slices to the kids and peeling the crust off Scarlett’s piece. David chatted to Jasper about a new video game he wanted for his birthday the following month, while she tended to Scarlett and she figured that to an onlooker, they would appear to be a run-of-the-mill family. The moment became all the more poignant to Annie when she realized it might be the last time they would be out together as a group. The notion deeply saddened her and she shuddered.

  “Everything all right?” David asked, swaying a little closer to her.

  She nodded. “Sure. Fine.”

  Of course it wasn’t the truth, but she couldn’t let him know that. The remainder of dinner was done quickly. The kids pleaded for gelato, and they devoured it with giggles and messy hands. Annie cleaned them up before they headed home and they both fell asleep in the backseat well before the vehicle hit the highway. When they arrived at the ranch, David carried Jasper inside to his room and Annie did the same with Scarlett. She was changing the dozing child into her pajamas when she spotted David coming through the doorway of the bedroom.

  “Jasper didn’t stir,” he whispered and flicked on the night-light. “Kid could sleep through a tornado.”

  Annie smiled, tucked the blanket around Scarlett’s shoulders and the youngster stirred and moaned. “Not this one,” she said softly and gently placed Scarlett’s favorite teddy alongside her pillow. “She’s too busy being a part of the world.”

  He looked down at his now sleeping child. “She really is amazing. So full of life. She’ll never be tied down...like her mom, I guess.”

  Annie heard the melancholy in his voice and her gaze strayed to the small, framed photograph of Jayne McCall on the bedside table. “Roots and wings.”

  He nodded. “You mean, she’s got a predictable stick-in-the-mud like me for a father and her mom was the free spirit? You’re right. Although Jayne did have a pragmatic side to her.”

  “I don’t think you’re a stick-in-the-mud,” she said as they headed from the room and walked down the hallway.

  He grinned. “Thanks, but I’m an accou
ntant... I’m supposed to be a bore.”

  “You’re not boring,” she said, way too quickly as they rounded the corner and entered the kitchen. “You’re...you’re...”

  “I’m?” he prompted. “What?”

  Annie blinked a couple of times, adjusting her eyes to the brighter light in the room. “You’re...you know...you.”

  He laughed. “I’m not sure that’s a compliment.”

  “It is,” she said and shrugged. “Well, I think I’ll turn in. Thank you for dinner.”

  “Annie,” he said and reached out, grabbing her hand.

  She felt the warmth of his touch right down to the soles of her feet. “What?”

  He didn’t move. “I know tonight was hard for you. I mean, I know you’re going to miss them,” he said quietly, right on point. “They’ll miss you, too. And so will I,” he added.

  In her heart, she knew he would...but not for the reasons she wanted...or needed.

  “You’ll get into another routine with someone else,” she said, thinking she should move and put space between them, thinking she should pull away and not like the touch of his hand so much, but she didn’t. “And life will go on, as normal.”

  His gaze stayed with hers. “Is that what you think you are to me, Annie? Merely routine? I assure you, that’s not the case.”

  “Then what—”

  “Annie,” he said, his voice sharp, almost breathless as he cut her off. “Marry me?”

  Chapter Seven

  “What did you say?”

  Annie stepped back and pulled her hand free, staring at him, thinking she must have misheard...or that he had suddenly lost his mind.

  “Marry me,” he said again.

  It was official...he was insane.

  “That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever—”

  “It’s not crazy,” he said quickly, cutting off her protest. “Think about it... It makes perfect sense. The kids—”

  “It’s not about the kids,” she said, mortified by the mixture of feelings surging through her blood...like disbelief and shock and something else...something she wasn’t prepared to admit.

  “They love you,” he said flatly. “And they need you.”

  “They love me,” she shot back. “Exactly. But you don’t,” she said and couldn’t bear how much saying the words hurt her. “And I don’t—”

  “I know that we don’t care about one another in that way, Annie,” he said and sighed heavily. “But sometimes, marriages start out for different reasons. Who’s to say what’s the right way. And we can’t predict how we’ll feel in the future, can we? You said you were leaving because you wanted to get married...so, let’s get married.”

  Annie couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Never, in all her wildest dreams, did she imagine David would resort to a marriage proposal to keep her looking after his children. The fact he believed her so desperate to get married that she would actually consider it, hurt her bone deep. Like he was prepared to make himself a human sacrifice.

  “You’d actually marry me to stop me from leaving?” she asked incredulously and crossed her arms.

  “Yes...” He shook his head. “No... I mean. It wouldn’t be like that...so cut and dried. I care about you, Annie. And I thought...” He paused, looking at her with searing intensity. “Is this about the fireman?” he asked, his expression narrowing.

  “What?”

  “Your online boyfriend,” he reminded her. “Is your reaction because of him?”

  Annie inhaled, sucking air into her lungs. “My reaction, as you call it, has nothing to do with Byron,” she replied hotly. “It’s about how I value myself too much to consider a loveless marriage with someone who is asking because it’s convenient.”

  “That’s not why,” he returned quickly. “I just thought—”

  “Save it,” she said and waved a hand impatiently. “Come on, David... you’ve probably worked it out in your head that this arrangement would fix your problem of hiring a new nanny. I imagine you’ve probably done one of your famous pro-and-con lists and come out thinking that marrying me would make your life a whole lot easier. Well, all it would do is complicate the hell out of mine! Did you ever think about that?”

  She shoved past him and headed down the hall, racing to her room. Annie dropped onto the sofa and pressed a hand to her chest, trying to get her heart rate back to normal.

  Marry me...

  David’s words echoed around in her head. How could he resort to such a tactic?

  A loveless marriage...

  And she couldn’t do it. She wouldn’t do it. Not even if, for the tiniest of moments, she could envision that it wouldn’t be loveless. That he had somehow discovered that he couldn’t live without her for reasons of his own—and not only because he wanted a mother for his kids.

  Because he had to know what his proposal would do to her. He wasn’t that self-absorbed—was he? He knew she loved Jasper and Scarlett with all her heart and wouldn’t put them in that kind of situation.

  With a sigh, Annie walked into her bedroom, stripping off her clothes. He’d said she looked nice in her outfit. Was it a line? A compliment to make her think he actually noticed her as more than an employee? As a woman? And potentially, as his wife?

  She flopped on the bed and stared at the ceiling, fatigue seeping through her bones. But how could she sleep? Her mind was churning.

  Her heart was aching.

  Surprisingly, Annie did sleep and dragged herself out of bed early the following morning feeling groggy and completely drained. It was her day off, so she slipped into jeans, boots and a light sweater, skipped her usual coffee fix and headed to the Triple C, managing to avoid being seen by anyone in the house. When she pulled up at the Culhane ranch twenty minutes later she spotted Mitch in the main corral, guiding a beautiful-looking colt on a lead rein. Annie rested a toe on the fence post and watched for a moment.

  “Hey there, Annie,” Mitch said when he noticed her.

  Annie smiled. “Hi. Is this one of the Alvarez foals?” she asked and climbed up one rung on the fence to get a better look at the colt.

  “Sure is. This is Monty.”

  Annie knew a little about the new breeding program at the Triple C and how Mitch had gone into business with Ramon Alvarez, a horseman from Arizona. From all accounts it was the first time the other man had struck a deal outside his home state and she was told the new bloodline from Alvarez’s champion stallion would help maintain Mitch’s reputation as one of the best horse trainers and breeders in South Dakota.

  “He’s beautiful.”

  “Tess is nursing Charlie,” he said and led the colt toward the fence.

  “Actually, I was looking for you. I was wondering if I could leave Star here for a little while, until I get settled somewhere.”

  “You mean, like Texas?”

  Annie rolled her eyes. “I’m not moving to Texas.”

  “David thinks you are.”

  She tensed at the mention of the other man’s name and then smiled smartly. “Well, he’s wrong.”

  Mitch laughed. “About some things, he certainly is. And of course you can stable your horse here for as long as you need.”

  They chatted for a couple of minutes and once she’d worked out a day and time for Mitch to collect Star and bring him to the Triple C, she thanked her brother-in-law and headed inside. Tess was upstairs in the nursery with her son and Annie tapped on the door frame before she entered.

  “Hey, I’m so glad you’re here,” Tess said, smiling broadly. “I think Charlie just said Momma.”

  Annie laughed. “I thought Dada was his favorite word?”

  “Not anymore,” Tess replied and laughed.

  “Mitch will be devastated,” Annie teased.

  “He’ll get over it,” Tess said, still smiling. “So, how are things?” />
  Annie gently touched the baby’s head. “Complicated.”

  Tess had finished nursing and placed the child in Annie’s arms. She sat down, gently cradling the baby.

  “Which means?” Tess asked.

  She drew in a long breath and spoke. “David proposed to me last night.”

  It sounded ridiculous and she watched as her sister stared at her in utter shock. “What?”

  Annie nodded. “He asked me to marry him.”

  Tess’s eyes were as wide as saucers. “And what did you say?’

  “No,” she replied. “Of course.”

  Tess smiled gently. “I thought you might...you know...”

  Annie shook her head. “I might what?”

  “Give it some consideration.”

  Annie looked at her sister. “I’m not that desperate.”

  “To marry the man you love?” Tess suggested.

  “To marry a man who doesn’t love me back,” she replied and blinked back the heat burning behind her eyes. “David wants everything to stay the same because he hates change. I’m not going to go along with some plan he’s concocted simply because it makes sense to his unromantic brain.”

  Tess regarded her kindly. “I guess it might seem like that. But perhaps—”

  “Oh, no,” Annie said and waved a hand. “I’m not going to start imagining there are any buts in this situation. David doesn’t care about me in that way and one little kiss doesn’t—”

  “Whoa,” Tess said quickly, eyes widened. “What kiss?”

  Color crept up Annie’s neck. “It was nothing. It happened days ago and—”

  “Days ago?” Tess inquired, cutting her off. “And you’re only mentioning it now?”

  She shrugged. “It didn’t mean anything. We were arguing and then it...happened.”

  “And afterward?”

  “David apologized.”

  “Ouch,” Tess said and grimaced. “So, it was only a kiss? Nothing else happened?”

  Annie raised a brow. “You mean did I jump his bones? No, of course not.”

  Her sister sighed. “And missed the perfect opportunity.”