The Nanny's Family Wish (The Culhanes 0f Cedar River Book 3)

by Helen Lacey

  Annie’s skin heated. “I’m not wired that way. And I’m not about to start imagining it was anything other than a reckless, spur-of-the-moment thing on his part. All I have to do is get through the next two weeks and then I’m out of there.”

  Her sister looked at her with a gentle expression. “You’re hurt by it?”

  She nodded. “I’m not going to start fantasizing that this is anything other than him wanting to make sure his children are looked after by someone who loves them. David doesn’t look at me that way. He doesn’t really...see me, if that makes sense.”

  “If he kissed you,” Tess reminded her, “then I’m pretty sure he sees you.”

  “It didn’t mean anything.”

  “Are you sure?” Tess asked gently. “Look, I understand why David would want to be with someone who loves his kids. I mean, I’d do anything to protect Charlie and make sure he’s safe and loved. And maybe, in his way, David does—”

  “He doesn’t,” Annie said quickly, preempting her sister’s words. “I’ve turned his world upside down by quitting, and the best way he thinks he can fix the situation is by offering me a loveless marriage of convenience. Well, I can’t accept those terms when I want more.” She looked down at her sleepy nephew. “I want what you and Mitch have. And I know I deserve that.”

  She would never agree. Never settle. And never let him know how much she wanted to say yes.

  * * *

  On Wednesday afternoon David got home to find Mitch’s horse trailer by the tables, and Annie bringing Star through the corral gate.

  “I didn’t expect you today,” he said as his cousin approached and shook his hand.

  “I’m boarding Annie’s horse for a while,” Mitch explained. “I thought you knew.”

  “I forgot,” he replied, his stomach sinking.

  As he spoke, Annie noticed him and immediately averted her gaze, loading her horse up the ramp. Once she was done, Mitch closed the tailgate and bolted it securely in place.

  “Thank you,” she said to his cousin, ignoring David.

  “No problem,” Mitch replied. “I’ll take good care of him. I’ll get him settled in and call you later to know how he’s doing.”

  She thanked him again, glancing briefly toward David. “I’m going to see to the kids,” she said. “They want to watch the kittens play.”

  She walked off toward the stables, hips swinging, her head at a tight angle.

  “Things a little frosty around here I take it?” Mitch said and grinned once she had disappeared.

  “A little.”

  “Got anything you want to tell me?”

  David’s gut sank. “I guess Annie told Tess, and your wife told you.”

  “I heard something about a marriage proposal.”

  David’s back straightened. “It was just a—”

  “You know, you can’t expect to put a ring on the finger of a woman you haven’t even taken on a date.”

  “We’ve been out together plenty of times,” David replied, desperate to ignore the heat clawing at the back of his neck. “In fact, last Friday we went to JoJo’s and—”

  “I mean without two kids or a couple of grandparents as company,” Mitch said, cutting him off again. “And anyway, the last time we talked about this, you said you and Annie didn’t think about each other in that way and it was a ridiculous idea.”

  He shrugged. “I know what I said.”

  “What changed your mind?”

  David sighed. “I...don’t know,” he said, unable to articulate the thoughts in his head. “The kids don’t want to lose Annie and she said she wants to get married. So I just...did it. It made sense at the time.”

  “And now?”

  He shrugged again. “Does it matter? She said no, end of story.”

  Mitch laughed and slapped him on the shoulder. “Man, you’re so screwed. Look, David, I have to get going, but let me give you some advice. I know you mean well, I do. Go with that. Just try not to be too...” Mitch sighed. “Try to put yourself in her shoes and think about how she feels. Okay? Annie is my wife’s sister, remember? We don’t want to be in the middle of your romantic entanglements.”

  “Then stay out of it,” David said irritably. “I know what I’m doing.”

  “You sure about that?” Mitch asked, more seriously. “Looks like all you’re doing is hurting someone we all care about.”

  “I’d never hurt Annie,” he said flatly, conscious of how the very notion made his insides vibrate with a kind of uneasiness he wasn’t used to.

  “Glad to hear it,” Mitch replied. “Maybe you should have thought about that before you asked her to marry you just because it made sense at the time.”

  David ignored the other man’s gibe and once Mitch left, considered joining his family in the stables but then decided against it.

  He headed back to the house, a heavy feeling pressing down on his shoulders.

  Soon enough it was Friday again. He was at work, trying to concentrate. Annie was leaving in a week. The new nanny started on Monday. A new routine would be set. Usually he liked routine and order. But nothing about his current situation gave him comfort.

  He checked his watch. Two fifty. Time to go and pick up Jasper from school. He’d made arrangements with Annie that morning, as he’d promised his son they could go to the store and purchase cat collars for the kittens. Three, since David had been conned into keeping three out of the litter. The other four were already promised to good homes, thanks to Annie.

  Annie...

  He’d barely seen her all week, and certainly hadn’t repeated the marriage proposal offer. The truth was, he’d lain as low as he could, not exactly avoiding her, but steering clear of any real confrontation.

  David had spent most of the week hanging out with the kids as much as possible. Annie, too, he knew, lingered when she said good-night or when she helped Jasper with his homework or read a story to Scarlett at bedtime. They’d met the new nanny, Mrs. O’Connell, and seemed to like her well enough, but both kids were clinging to Annie more than usual.

  It was five o’clock by the time they arrived home, and after dropping a stack of files into his office, he headed to the kitchen. Jasper had already raced to the stables to show Rudy the kitten collars with instructions to be back in ten minutes. His grandmother and sister were behind the counter, decorating a large blue-and-white cake, and Scarlett was sitting at the counter beside Ivan, happily licking a wooden spoon smothered in frosting. David kissed his daughter’s head and accepted the coffee cup Leah passed him across the counter.

  “Are you okay?” she asked him, one brow up.

  “Fine,” he lied. “Cake looks good.”

  “It’s the trial cake for Charlie’s christening,” Mittie said.

  “Can we still eat it?” Ivan asked and grinned.

  “Not until I send a few photos to Tess and we get a thumbs-up,” Leah said and chuckled and started taking snapshots on her phone.

  Jasper came in through the back door and once he showed off the kitten collars, hung around the counter, ogling the cake.

  “Can we eat it before dinner, Dad?” he asked.

  “Not a chance, sport,” David said and grinned, then cleared his throat a little. “Ah...is Annie around?”

  “She’s packing,” Leah said quietly, clearly aware that the kids were listening. “I said I’d watch Scarlett for a while.”

  “I hate that Annie’s leaving,” Jasper said unexpectedly and then hiccuped.

  Me, too...

  And he also hated that he’d made such a fool out of himself with his idiotic proposal. Of course she’d refused him. The very idea was ludicrous. He should never have done it. But...seeing her with the kids, witnessing her affection for them, had done something to his judgment. It had addled his brain. Plus, she was so damned beautiful he couldn’t thin
k straight when he was around her. It was panic, that’s all. A lapse in his good sense.

  “I love Annie,” Scarlett said, pouting. “I’m gonna miss her so much.”

  Me, too...

  David caught the breath in his throat. What is wrong with me? He’d been in love—he knew the feeling. Love was easy and didn’t give a person sleepless nights. Love wasn’t about being angry, or resentful or plain old disappointed. Love didn’t hurt. But losing Annie to some online boyfriend did. A lot.

  “We all love Annie,” Leah said and tried to smile, pointedly looking in David’s direction. “But sometimes,” she said and looked back toward Jasper, “people have to leave.”

  “Like Mommy did?” his son asked, clearly unhappy.

  David took Jasper’s hand and led him to the table, gently gesturing him to sit. He sat beside his son and held his small hand steady between his palms. “Your mommy loved you and Scarlett more than anything and she didn’t want to go away. And Annie doesn’t want to leave you, either. She just has things she has to do. And she can only do them if she leaves.”

  “What kind of things?”

  “Grown-up things,” David said and ruffled Jasper’s hair and then hugged him affectionally. “It’ll be all right—I promise. I’m here, your great-grandma is here, so are Pop and Aunt Leah. Now, how about you go and get cleaned up for dinner and afterward we’ll have some cake?”

  Jasper nodded and quickly disappeared from the kitchen. Once he was out of sight, Leah spoke.

  “He’s taking it so hard.”

  “I know. But he has all of us. He’ll get through it,” David said, knowing he sounded cold, but also knowing he had to keep his resolve and not show how torn up he was. “He has to.”

  “What about you?” his stepdad asked. “Will you get through it?”

  David shook his head. “Don’t start.”

  “I can’t believe you’re actually gonna let her go,” Ivan said quietly.

  “It’s her decision,” he said and ignored the sudden pounding at his temple. “Frankly, I’m tired of talking about it,” he said and quickly left the room.

  Thirty seconds later—despite knowing he was asking for trouble—he tapped on Annie’s door.

  It opened soon after and he noticed she was breathing hard.

  “Everything okay?”

  “Nothing an extra ten inches of height wouldn’t fix,” she said and pulled her sweater onto her shoulder after it slipped down.

  David did his best to ignore the action. “What?”

  “I can’t reach the shoeboxes on the top shelf in my wardrobe.”

  “Would you like some help?”

  She hesitated for a moment and then shrugged. “Sure.”

  David followed her through to the bedroom and immediately he was bombarded by a voice in his head telling him to turn around and leave.

  “Up there,” she said and pointed inside the wardrobe. “Top shelf.”

  He stepped inside the large wardrobe and the scent of her perfume hit him with an almighty force. He reached up and extracted four shoeboxes.

  “Is that it?” he asked and swiveled in the small space.

  She was close. And the sweater had slipped again, exposing one smooth shoulder, and he couldn’t look away. He wanted to kiss her there. Hell, he wanted to kiss her everywhere. Her mouth, her neck, her breasts. He wanted to plunder her mouth with his own, to feel her against him, to taste her sweet lips, to feel her tongue, her sighs, her breath. He wanted it so much his hands tingled and his stomach churned.

  David met her gaze and saw the awareness in her expression. There was no denying it, no hiding it and no way, he suspected, of trying to diffuse it. He couldn’t help but wonder how long it had been there between them—if it had been there all along and was just waiting to be fanned into life.

  “I should go.”

  She nodded, stepping back. “Did you want to see me about something? I know I’m officially still on duty, but Scarlett wanted to help Leah and Mittie with the baking and Jasper was with you so I—”

  “I don’t watch your clock-in and clock-out times, Annie,” David said and dumped the shoeboxes on the bed. “I thought you might want to spend some time with the kids tonight, that’s all. Maybe watch a movie.”

  “I should keep packing...” she said, her words trailing off.

  David saw the boxes scattered around the room. It added another layer of finality to the situation. The mood between them was tense and uncomfortable and his foolish proposal was an elephant in the room. And they both knew it.

  “I just thought since Mrs. O’Connell starts next week and the kids will be spending time with her, that you might want to have some alone time with them.”

  “Oh...you mean...you won’t be...”

  “I mean I’ll make myself scarce so you can relax and enjoy your time with them. Let’s face it, we’ve managed to avoid each other most of this week.”

  She inhaled heavily. “I didn’t want to talk about it.”

  “It?” he queried. “My marriage proposal? Well, for what it’s worth, I’m...sorry.”

  “You are?”

  He nodded. “I shouldn’t have blurted it out like that last week. It was...insensitive of me. I guess I wasn’t thinking rationally and didn’t consider how it would come across. I know I’m not the most romantic guy in the world, but...well, it kind of made sense in my head at the time.”

  “But not now?” she asked, her eyes flashing.

  He shrugged uncomfortably. “I’m realizing I didn’t think about how it would make you feel.”

  David reached out and grasped her hand, finding her skin warm to the touch. She didn’t pull away. Didn’t do anything other than stand still and look at him. “Annie...try not to be mad at me, okay?”

  “I’m not mad,” she said and rested her palm over his hand.

  “Promise me you won’t do anything rash?”

  “Rash?”

  “Like run off with your fireman,” he said, feeling the effect of her touch race through his blood like a wildfire. “Not until we’ve... I don’t know...sorted out this thing between us.”

  “There’s nothing between us except four years of you signing my paychecks. Anything else you’re suggesting is only there because it suits. I can’t make any promises. I’m leaving and you’ve hired yourself a new nanny and life will go on.” She removed her hand and stepped back, pulling free of his grasp. “So, that’s it, David. Thank you for being a good employer.”

  His insides contracted. “Annie, don’t—”

  “You have to let me go,” she said breathlessly, taking another step back. “Please don’t make this any harder than it already is.”

  She walked away and as her silhouette disappeared through the doorway, David experienced a sharp pain deep in his chest, recognizing it exactly for what it was. Hurt. Grief. Loss. Things he’d experienced before. Things he’d programmed himself to never consciously feel again. But the sense of solitude he felt in that moment was paralyzing. Annie was leaving and he would have to face life without her.

  A fact that made him feel so lonely he could barely breathe.

  Chapter Eight

  Leaving the McCall ranch was one of the hardest things Annie had ever done. With her car packed and the remainder of her belongings being stored at the Triple C, Annie said her goodbyes to the kids, feeling as though her heart was being torn out from her chest. Scarlett clung to her and the new nanny, Mrs. O’Connell, had to gently unwind the child’s arms from around Annie’s waist. Jasper was subdued, but he held on to her for a long time. Mittie, Leah and Ivan all hugged her. And David shook her hand.

  Shook her hand?

  Everyone noticed. How could they not? And she wondered, as she watched them all in turn, if they had guessed the real reason why she was leaving. David, of course, had no clue. He�
�d stopped asking. The truth was, they’d stopped talking. The final week had been the hardest, with handing over the reins to Mrs. O’Connell and feeling the kids’ unhappiness through to the marrow in her bones. Annie had spent all her time either with the new nanny, the children or holed up in her room avoiding him.

  She waved as she drove off and burst into tears the moment she turned out of the driveway.

  The O’Sullivan Hotel was a good place to relax and refocus. She’d booked herself a suite, with a small balcony and a great view of the Black Hills. Her first night had been strange, like she was vacationing somewhere and would soon go back to her real life. Realizing the hotel, and the current situation, was now her real life, had a polarizing effect and she spent most of Saturday morning walking around the suite in a daze, drinking tea, ordering room service, thinking, napping and dreaming.

  Late Saturday afternoon her cell rang and Byron’s familiar voice quickly made her smile.

  “Hey, beautiful!”

  He always called her that. Always made her feel good about herself. He was a nice man—someone she could potentially fall in love with.

  If she gave him the chance.

  They talked for a few minutes about the weather and his parrot named Waldo, before he suggested they meet up. Again.

  “Now you’ve left your job there’s nothing holding you back, right?” he asked.

  “Yes, nothing,” she agreed, knowing she was still in love with her ex-boss and that she needed time to get over it, if she even could. But she didn’t say that to Byron. “We’ll set it up soon, I promise. I have a couple of job interviews in Rapid City lined up early next week,” she said and explained about the two admin positions she’d recently applied for and had been successful in securing interviews for.

  “You know, there are jobs in Texas,” he said and chuckled. “In fact, there’s a part-time receptionist job going at the fire station. Wouldn’t that be great? We could see each other all the time.”

  She longed to share his enthusiasm. “We’ll see, okay.”

  “You’d love it here. Texas is all heart.”