Break Away: A Midwest Small Town Romance

by Vanessa Sheets

  “Ezra, she has had a little bit of stuff—okay, a lot of stuff—going on to be worrying about love and dating right now.”

  I nervously play with the counselor’s card that I am holding.

  “I just want to focus on Lorenzo right now.” She turns around and groans as she flips the mirror down and starts fixing her eyeliner.

  “I get it, I do. But damn, when are you going to get to worry about you?”

  “It’s not about me anymore. It really never has been. And I'm all right with that.” I look out the window and watch as the city buildings get fewer and farther apart. Sitting back in my seat, I welcome the open fields that swallow us up as we head back to Durand.

  It has been two months since I stabbed a man to death. Knowing that it was Crew and that he was an evil person with no value to this world, would make you think it would help with the guilt. But it doesn’t.

  The nightmares started the first night I was at Ezra’s. I quit taking the painkillers they had been giving me in the hospital and with a clear mind, what I did clawed its way into my subconscious.

  Noah made good by his promise and texted me every day. We never talked about “that night” and I liked it that way. Unfortunately, nobody talked to me about it, and because of that, I became paranoid about what everyone thought of me. My thoughts consumed my mind and with no way to get them out, I withdrew from everyone.

  I walked around as if everything was fine, but it wasn’t. It was Corbin that finally said something to me.

  It was Thanksgiving Day, and I was freezing my ass off outside of Ezra’s house while he had a smoke. I listened to what he said. How he was concerned, how everyone was concerned. I was a little pissed at first, knowing that I was the main topic of conversation, but decided that they only wanted what was best for me. I came to the conclusion, if I was going to be what Lorenzo needed, I was going to have to reach out to a professional.

  The Monday after Thanksgiving, I dialed the number off the card that was given to me, and since that time, I have been making slow but steady progress. I initially started going to counseling to deal with the trauma that I lived through that night. Little did I know that we would be rewinding all the way back to the very first breath I took. I wasn’t about it at first, and dragged my feet. I felt as if going that far back in my life, trying to hash things out that I can’t change was kind of a waste of time. But now, I look forward to our weekly sessions and come bearing two Starbucks. One for me and one for Monica, my therapist.

  Today, I am finally leaving Ezra’s house and moving back into mine. Corbin is coming to get me because Ezra is back at college and everyone else is at work. I stand at the front door, peering out the sidelight. My leg is bouncing in anticipation and finally Corbin pulls into the driveway.

  “Brrrrr. I am so tired of this snow.” I throw my bag in the back and slam the car door. I breathe into my cupped hands and bounce my feet, trying to warm myself up.

  “Yeah, and we’re supposed to get eight more inches later tonight.” He throws his car in reverse and heads over to my house on the other side of town. “You nervous?” I shrug my shoulders.

  “Yes and no. I'm excited to finally be back home. I mean I love Ezra’s mom and dad, but I need my own space, own time. And Lorenzo got what, a week living there before—” He looks over at me and I am suddenly uncomfortable. I don’t like thinking about it, talking about it is a whole other level of hell. I slap my hands on my thighs and force a huge smile. “Well, no more of that. Happy thoughts. Today, I am going home.” We turn onto my street and there in my driveway is Noah’s truck.

  “Noah coming over tonight?” His voice is suspicious, and he is trying hard to act as surprised as I am about him being there. “That’s good, Sofia. Tonight is going to be hard. You know, with it being the first time back.” He parks in front of my house.

  “I didn’t expect him. He’s supposed to be in Colorado.” I grab my bag from the front seat and get out. “Thanks for the ride. I will give you a call once I'm settled and have you and Becca over.” I shut the door and turn to see Noah sitting on my steps.

  He has a few grocery bags at his feet and scoops them up as he stands. “I didn’t think you were ever going to get here.”

  I walk past him to the front door and slip my key in.

  “I thought you were in Colorado?” I push the door open, and he follows me in. I quickly walk to the alarm pad and enter my code. The alarm he insisted on getting installed.

  “Nice place. You did good with it, Sofia.” He sets the bags on the couch and looks around.

  “Thanks, I really love it here.” We stand in the living room, all awkward and silent. My eyes drag to the coffee table, where my lamp used to be. But it isn’t there anymore. I become uneasy now that I am here. Where it happened. I walk to my bedroom that is right off the living room and set my bag inside the door.

  “I was in Colorado when a little birdie told me that you were coming home today. So, I jumped in my truck and here I am.”

  “Huh, could that bird be named… hmmm, Corbin?” I give him a questioning look and he smiles all big and shakes his head.

  “I don’t remember getting his name. He was sort of in and out of my hotel room.”

  “Oh, okay.” I laugh and let myself get lost in his blue eyes that are dancing back at me.

  “So.” He grabs the shopping bags off the couch. “I picked up some stuff from the store. I thought that I could make us dinner tonight?” He waits for me to answer while I wonder if this is the best idea.

  “Umm, yeah, that would be great. Lorenzo is staying one more night at Ezra’s, so...yeah, I would like that.” His smile grows and his dimples pop.

  Oh, those flipping dimples. Yeah, this is a brilliant idea.

  “Okay, awesome.” He goes to the kitchen, leaving me standing in the living room. My feet feel like lead as I listen to cabinets being opened and closed. He has no idea where anything is, and I should really go help him. I force my feet to step their way across my dining room but stop in the doorway. I watch him pull out two pans and place one on the stove before walking over to the sink to fill a pot up with water. He sets it on the stove and turns the burner on.

  “Ahh, gas burners. Nothing like them. I always have electric at my hotels and if you have ever cooked on an electric stove, it’s either cold or burnt.” He glances at me and catches that I am not past the doorway of my kitchen. “You okay?” He starts peeling back the butcher paper and reveals two huge steaks.

  “Besides the fact that it would take me four days to eat one of those, yeah, I’m fine.” I lean my shoulder on the doorway and point at the monster steak that he holds up.

  “Leftovers, Brown Eyes. You can’t pass up this beauty. Mmm.” He slaps it down on the butcher paper and begins seasoning it with an array of jars that he has pulled out of the bag.

  I slowly start looking around the kitchen, not moving from where I am standing. I check the windows above my sink. They are no longer missing screens. Brand new ones were installed a few weeks ago. Noah made sure of that along with the ADT system. I argued with him about both, but there is no arguing with him. I finally get the nerve to look down at the spot where Crew bled out and died. I figured that this would be the hardest part about coming home and am pleasantly surprised that the brand-new linoleum paid for by my insurance leaves no trace behind. Noah slides a bag of potatoes towards me.

  “Want to get the baked potatoes ready for the oven?” I nod and reluctantly enter the kitchen. Standing next to him, I pull them out of the plastic bag. I grab a fork out of the drawer and begin poking it into each one.

  I can’t help but be taken by the way he gracefully moves around my kitchen. Prepping this, searing that, he is the epitome of everything that I would never want to live without. Caring, protective, dominant. I start to feel warm in the places that he touched me when we were together.

  I set my dining room table and we relish in the amazing food that we prepare together. We talk and laugh as
if we never were apart. I keep pouring wine into my glass and before I know it, I have finished off the bottle.

  “Good thing I grabbed beer, too. It doesn’t look like you're in the sharing mood tonight.” He laughs and I give him a playful slap on the arm.

  “Oh, shut up. I think that I have more than earned a night to be selfish.” I smile and feel the spark start to smolder that always makes its way between us when we are together.

  I want him.

  In my bed.

  Stop it, Sofia.

  Be strong.

  I clear my throat and stand to clear the table. I pick up my dinner plate and go to set it on top of his and he puts his hand on top of mine.

  “Leave it, Sofia. I got it.” I slowly turn my head towards him.

  “You have done more than enough, Noah. Seriously, let me get this.” And then, like something out of a romance novel, I am staring into his eyes. They dilate, pooling like a sea of blue and need. “Really, I can get—” It's too late.

  He grabs onto my neck and our lips collide together like clouds crashing into a plain. I run my fingers through his soft hair, and he stands up, knocking the chair back and onto the floor. He picks me up without our lips breaking away and I point towards my room.

  “There, my bedroom. Over there.” He cradles me in his arms, and I pull my lips from his, digging my teeth into his neck.

  “Fuck, baby.” He throws me down on my bed and I can’t take my clothes off fast enough. I watch him as he strips completely down. Just the sight of his body that should be illegal in every way makes me wet between my legs. He climbs on top of me and runs his tongue down my cleavage. I grab onto the back of his head and guide him to my hard nipple. I squeak out as he starts doing that thing that he does.

  “Mmm, I missed these so much.” He moves to my other nipple and I moan out.

  “I neeeed you, Noah. I never stopped needing you.” I grab his hair and pull him to my lips. He pushes up on his elbows and takes my face in his hands. The soft touch of his thumbs brushing my cheeks takes me back to when we first met. I feel safe and loved in his arms and give him a teasing smile. He is conflicted, though; I can see it in his eyes and my smile falls short.

  “Brown Eyes, I can’t do this back and forth anymore. I can’t have pieces of you. It’s killing me. I have to have all of you. Every. God. Damn. Piece. You are like closure to the darkest parts of me.” I bite down on my lip and grab onto the back of his neck.

  “Noah. I want to tell you everything you want to hear. I want to give myself to you, tonight and forever. But I can’t. I have to fix the broken parts of myself so that I can be here for Lorenzo.” His head drops to my bare shoulder and I feel his hot breath on my skin.

  “Fuck it. Sofia. I need to feel you one more time before I can let you go. Before I can walk away for good.” He buries his hardness into me, and I tip my head back onto the pillow. I push against the headboard of my bed with my hands, thrusting him deeper into my core. We collide together like waves crashing against the base of a cliff and claw at each other like wild animals trying to break away from the chains that tie us to our past. Falling onto me, out of breath, his fingers tangle in my hair. With our bodies wrapped together and intertwined as one, we fall asleep in each other’s arms.

  I am content with the fix that he lulls over my body, but left to drift off to sleep in the dark abyss... craving more.

  THE SUN CUTS THROUGH the break in my curtains. I rub the sleep out of my eyes and reach for Noah. My heart sinks when I find that he isn’t there. I roll onto my back and throw my arms out onto the mattress in frustration. I stare up at my ceiling fan as it spins above my bed. I don’t know why I'm surprised that he’s gone. He did what I asked him to do.

  I get up and grab an oversized tee off the back of my door and a pair of underwear out of my drawer. I need some coffee and a few Tylenol for this headache before I go pick up Lorenzo from Ezra’s.

  I can’t help myself from glancing out the front window to see if his truck is gone. Of course it isn’t there and I head to the kitchen. I place a coffee cup on my Keurig, pop a K-cup in and watch as it fills up. My thoughts go back to last night, replaying every little detail.

  Damn it. I miss him already.

  Ezra’s words echo in my head as I pour creamer in my cup. She is right. I wonder if I will ever get to put my happiness before others.

  Maybe when I’m thirty?

  I pop two Tylenol in my mouth and take a long sip, welcoming the warm coffee as it washes away the stale taste of wine in my mouth.

  I lean against the counter with my mug pressed to my lips and stare at the remnants of last night's dinner. I swear that I can still smell him, still feel his hands all over my body and his words of want and need in my ear. He has a hold on me, and I am kicking myself for allowing him physically back into my life. I should have known better. I should have never let him cook me dinner. We both know that we can’t be around each other without wanting to tear into each other sexually. The fire that burns between us is something that will never go out. The whole of the water in the ocean couldn’t put that wildfire out.

  But this. Last night. It can’t happen ever again. I can’t allow him to fall in and out of my life like this.

  I have to let him go. I have to let him go.

  I hear a knock at the door and set my coffee down on the counter. It’s probably Corbin chomping at the bit to find out the tea on Noah last night.

  I hardly get the door open and Lorenzo is squeezing past me. “I can’t wait to play with my toys.” He leaves me dumbfounded as I stare back at Noah, who is standing on my front porch.

  “It’s all he talked about on the way over.” He smiles and nervously runs his hands through his hair. “Mind if I come in?”

  I feel myself being pulled back into the moment by the sound of his voice. “Yes, um, yeah. Sorry, I thought you left.” I close the door behind him, and he sets Enzo’s bag on the coffee table.

  “I was. I mean, I did. Ugh.” He rubs his face and starts pacing.

  “What is going on, Noah? I thought we decided that it was best if we stopped—”

  “No. See, you decided that. Not me. I would never in a million years walk away from you and that boy in there.” He points to where Lorenzo ran off and steps towards me. I take a few steps back, trying to put as much space between us as I can.

  “Noah, I can’t do this. Us. I need to focus on getting my life together. You... you and me are just not part of that equation right now.”

  “I call bullshit. Stop making excuses. It doesn’t have to be this way. You are finally free to do you and I am standing here telling you that I want to be a part of your life. A part of Enzo’s life.” I turn away from him and wipe at my tears. He walks over to me and takes my chin in his hand, forcing me to look into his eyes. “Are you broken? Yes. And so am I. We are two jagged pieces of glass that found each other before shattering into a million pieces. Sofia, we fit together, and I am not going to walk away from that. I want to be the person that fills your broken parts with happy memories. You think that I saved you, and in the beginning, I thought that is exactly what I did. But this last year has shown me that I have never been more wrong about anything in my life. Because you saved me.” His eyes are glossy, and he presses his forehead to mine as his hands wrap around the back of my neck. “Lorenzo, come here, bud.”

  I glance towards his room and he is peeking around the corner, all smiles. He runs to us and Noah scoops him up in his arms and whispers something in his ear.

  “What are you two up to?” I tickle Enzo’s belly. He giggles and squirms in Noah’s arms.

  “Here, Sissy.” He hands me MeeMee and I take the mouse in my hands. Noah sets Enzo down on the ground and he immediately starts bouncing on the heels of his feet. “Now? Now do I say it, Noah?” Noah laughs and nods his head. I am at a loss as to what is going on.

  “Sissy, look at MeeMee’s tail. There is a surprise for you.” His smile almost reaches his eyes, and he won
’t stop bouncing in excitement.

  I inspect the tiny mouse that has been a part of my life as long as Enzo has and cover my mouth in shock as I run my hands over the diamond ring that is tied to its tail. Noah drops to one knee and Lorenzo squeals out.

  “Sofia Giovanni Lombardi, I don’t want to wake up twenty years from now and wonder where you are. I want to wake up in twenty years and hear you singing in the shower.”

  “My God, Noah.” He reaches up and slides the ring off the end of the tail and takes my left hand in his. I can feel his hand shaking and he takes a deep breath.

  “Complete me, Sofia. Will you do me the honor and become my wife.”

  “Say yes, Sissy! Say yes!” I don’t even try and hide the emotions that start unraveling inside me. I am crying and nodding my head and without a single hesitation and for the first time in my life... I choose me. I choose us.

  “Yes... yes... yes, Noah. I will marry you!” He slides the ring onto my finger and leaps up, picking me up off the ground and spinning me around. Lorenzo throws his arms around our legs and I pick him up and squeeze him in a hug.

  “You little sneak, you were in on this and didn’t warn me?” He shakes his head, and his serious look makes me chuckle.

  “Yup. Noah asked me if he could marry you and I said yes. Then we went and picked the ring out this morning.” I press him to my chest and kiss the top of his head.

  “Oh, you boys. I'm going to have to keep my eye on you.” Noah pulls us both into his arms.

  “This is just the beginning of a lifetime of surprises, Sofia. You’re just gonna have to get used to that.” I press my lips to Noah’s and Lorenzo wiggles out of my arms.

  “Ew.” We both laugh when we look down and see his disgusted face.