Wishful Thinking (How To Be The Best Damn Faery Godmother In The World (Or Die Trying) Book 1)

by Helen Harper

  He folded his arms. ‘Good. I’ll get you to Colchester. You can tell me about this new information that you’ve found about the kidnappings. I presume that your moonlighting means that you are still happy to work with me on the investigation?’

  ‘Of course I am. I’m not going back yet though.’

  Jasper stared at me. ‘Why on earth not?’

  ‘Because,’ I answered calmly, ‘I’ve not finished here yet.’

  He took a step towards me, his heady cinnamon scent swirling round me. Goodness. I must still be feeling light-headed.

  ‘I told you. No more magic. Your body can’t take it without the protections afforded to you by your job.’

  ‘I don’t need to use magic for what I’ve got to do.’ I hoped.

  ‘What do you have to do? Is this related to the disappearances?’

  I shook my head. ‘No.’ I raised my chin. ‘This is about professional pride. I started something so I will fucking finish it. I won’t leave my client in the lurch. I’m not forgetting about the kidnappings. But I’m not forgetting about my client either. He desperately wants to find his long lost father. That’s his wish and I will grant it for him.’

  Several beats passed. A tiny muscle throbbed in Jasper’s cheek. ‘I can get behind that,’ he said finally. ‘Will it take long?’

  ‘Honestly?’ I said. ‘I have no idea.’

  He sighed. ‘Then we’d better get a move on.’

  I looked at him. ‘We?’

  He rolled his eyes. ‘Clearly, you need a lot of help.’

  Actually, I didn’t. But it would nice to have him around. I smiled slightly and pointed down the street. ‘Down there.’

  He gestured to me. ‘Lead the way.’ Then he added, ‘I really hope I won’t regret this.’

  ‘You don’t have to come.’

  ‘I know,’ he said.

  I licked my lips. ‘Thank you, Jasper.’

  There was a pause. ‘You’re welcome, Saffron.’

  ***

  Despite Jasper’s timely intervention, I still didn’t feel quite right. The last thing I wanted was for him to know that I was still woozy, however. He might have kept his castigation to a minimum so far but I knew I didn’t need to give him cause to berate me further. He was still the Devil’s Advocate after all, even if our interests currently merged and we were working well together. I concentrated on putting one foot after the other and maintaining a straight line. I reckoned I just about pulled it off. In any case, Jasper didn’t produce any further comments on my state of health or my foolishness in attempting to grant a wish while faery godmother non grata.

  Fortunately, it didn’t take long to reach the address which Mark Countman had given the tattoo parlour all those years ago. I walked up the few stone steps to the front door, leaving Jasper to wait behind me on the pavement. There was no doorbell so I rapped loudly on the wood with my knuckles. Then I tightly crossed my fingers. It was almost too much to hope for that Luke’s dad still lived here. There was always a slim chance though.

  When the door opened and the wizened face of an older gentleman appeared, my heart sank. He was too old to be Luke’s dad and there wasn’t the slightest resemblance to my client. I kept my expression friendly, however, and ignored the continuing churn in my stomach. I did not feel sick. I did not feel sick. I did not feel sick.

  ‘Hi,’ I said.

  ‘Hello?’ The man blinked at me. ‘Can I help you? I’m not interested in buying anything and I already donate to charity. And if you’re a Jehovah’s Witness…’

  ‘I’m not,’ I said hastily. ‘I’m actually looking for someone. A former occupant of this address.’

  ‘I’ve lived here for eighteen years.’ He held himself away from me as if he were still unsure about my intentions. ‘So I don’t know who you could be looking for.’

  ‘Mark Countman,’ I told him. ‘I’m looking for a man called Mark Countman. He’s probably in his forties or thereabouts. It’s really important that I find him.’

  ‘What do you want with Mark? He’s not in trouble again is he?’

  Hope flared in my chest. ‘No,’ I said quickly. ‘No trouble. He’s an old friend of the family and I’m trying to locate him.’ I put on my best ‘harmless young woman’ expression. That might have worked if Jasper wasn’t looming behind me.

  ‘If you give me your details,’ the old man said, ‘I’ll pass them along to Mark and then he can choose whether to get in touch with you or not himself.’

  Fuck a puck. That wouldn’t work for me, even if it was the most eminently sensible thing for the man to do.

  ‘Time is of the essence here,’ I told him. ‘It’s to do with Mr Countman’s son. If you could just…’

  He glared at me. ‘I already told you what I’ll do. If you get off my doorstep then I’ll do it a hell of a lot quicker.’

  I wasn’t going to change his mind. Frankly, if I pushed any further I might not get anywhere at all. Ever. I gritted my teeth in irritation and then reeled off my phone number. The old man made a note of it and then all but shut the door in my face. Well, that sucked. All I could do now was hope that he kept his promise and did contact Mark.

  I turned round. Jasper was watching me, his hands in pockets and a slight smile on his face. He should smile more often. It made him look far less intimidating. ‘Humans are a lot more suspicious of strangers than they used to be,’ he said. ‘I’m sure our jobs would have been far easier a few hundred years ago.’

  I met his eyes. ‘I appreciate what you’re trying to do,’ I said, ‘but I don’t need you to make me feel better. I’m perfectly fine.’ I raised my eyebrows meaningfully. ‘I’m not defeated yet either.’

  ‘I wouldn’t dare to suggest you were.’ He took his hands out of his pockets and straightened his broad shoulders. ‘Let’s head back to Colchester and…’

  I shook my head, interrupting him. ‘No. Give me another hour first.’

  ‘Hour? To do what exactly?’

  Good point. ‘Ninety minutes then.’ I jogged down the steps and tugged at his arm. He glanced down at my hand with a curious expression on his face but he didn’t pull away. ‘Nothing is going to happen with Bernard, our evil kidnapper, for a few hours yet anyway.’ I tugged again. ‘Come on.’

  This time, he allowed himself to be moved. Part of me wished I was still being followed. I’d have loved for other faeries to witness me leading the Devil’s Advocate around the streets of Oxford. I pulled him across the street and then ducked down behind a car which was parked not too far from the old man’s house. Jasper remained standing.

  ‘Saffron,’ he said, ‘what are you doing?’

  ‘Hiding, of course. Ninja faery style.’ I swished my arms through the air in a simulacrum of a karate chop. ‘I need you to do the same.’

  This time he didn’t follow my lead. ‘I am not a ninja faery. And I am certainly not hiding behind a car like this one.’ His mouth tightened.

  ‘Ohhhh,’ I said, with a knowing, sarcastic air. ‘You only like to hide behind sparkly clean sports cars as befits your status?’

  He muttered something under his breath before rolling his eyes. ‘I don’t like to hide behind anything. Generally because I don’t need to.’

  I stood up again, frustration getting the better of me. ‘Look. I didn’t ask you to join me although I’m happy that you’re here. But this is my operation and I need you to fall into line. It’s not for long. It’s only for an hour and a half then we’ll go back to Colchester, save some faeries and everything will be right with the world once more. Just do what I say.’

  ‘Saffron,’ he murmured. ‘You do remember that I’m the Devil’s Advocate?’

  ‘So?’

  He tutted and raised his hands. ‘I don’t need to hide behind cars. And when you’re with me, neither do you.’

  I frowned, opening my mouth to continue arguing while he twirled his fingers in the air. Then I glanced down at myself and realised what he’d done. Oh. ‘You’ve made us in
visible.’

  ‘Just so.’ His voice was the very epitome of smug satisfaction. I looked back but could no longer see either him or what was no doubt his matching expression. That was probably as well. ‘Can you sense it? Can you still see me?’

  I shook my head. ‘Not a thing.’

  ‘Ah.’ I thought I detected a trace of disappointment. ‘Some faeries can.’

  ‘Not this one.’

  ‘I can’t either,’ he admitted. ‘But it’s important for me to remember that no magic is foolproof.’

  I began to nod before remembering that he couldn’t see me so it was a pointless gesture. Then another realisation hit me. ‘Wait,’ I said slowly. ‘You didn’t use a wand. You didn’t use one for the glamour last time either.’

  ‘I’m the Devil’s Advocate.’

  I sighed. ‘You know you can keep saying that over and over again but it still doesn’t make it any more of an explanation.’

  ‘Well,’ his disembodied voice said somewhere over my head, ‘I could stand here and tell you more about it or we could follow your old man and hope he will lead us to your client’s dad.’

  I whipped round. He was right. The old man had already exited his house and was fumbling with a key as he locked up. My fists clenched in sudden anticipation. He really was going to tell Mark Countman about our visit as he’d promised.

  Without saying another word to Jasper, I took off. The old man might be moving with a slow, shuffling gait but I wasn’t taking any chances. I wanted to be absolutely sure that I didn’t lose him. For all I knew he was about to start sprinting down the narrow street and out of sight. Then, however, he halted at the very next house down. I came to a skidding halt in the middle of the road, almost toppling over in the process and planting my face onto the tarmac, just as the old man pressed the doorbell.

  When the door opened, my breath caught. The face that looked out was the exact same as Luke’s, only about twenty years older. He lived right next door. Maybe he always had and the details at the tattoo parlour had been written down wrong. Either way, I’d found the man I’d been looking for. I rocked back on my heels and breathed out. Bingo.

  With less haste this time, and remaining on the balls of my feet so that the sounds of my own footsteps didn’t alert Mark Countman or his elderly neighbour to anything out of the ordinary, I drew closer to try and hear what they were saying. I didn’t get very far when Mark beckoned the older man inside. I threw myself forward, sneaking in behind them in the split second before he closed the door behind them. Damn, but this invisibility shit was handy.

  ‘It was a young woman,’ the old man quavered. ‘With crazy brown hair that didn’t look like it had been brushed in the last year.’ I scrunched up my face in his direction that was a bit uncalled for, wasn’t it?

  ‘There was a man with her,’ he continued. ‘Dangerous looking sort. Not the type you’d want to meet in a dark alley. He was more interested in the woman than in anything else though. He was staring at her arse with the sort of expression that suggested he could barely hold himself back from lunging forward and grabbing it.’

  I blinked. He should put on his glasses before he answered any knocks at his door.

  Mark Countman scratched his head. ‘She said it was to do with my son?’

  ‘Yes. She was mightily desperate to talk to you.’ He handed over a crumpled piece of paper. ‘Here’s her number if you want to call it. It’s up to you.’ The old neighbour shrugged. ‘I’ve got to get home. I’m in the middle of my favourite programme.’

  I smiled to myself. Antiques Roadshow. Betcha.

  ‘The Dark Demon is about to take down the Guardian and I don’t want to miss the fight. Last time he ripped out a hunk of his hair and broke his nose. There was blood everywhere.’

  Okay then.

  The old man smiled. ‘I’ll see myself out.’

  Mark Countman mumbled a farewell. He was still staring down at the piece of paper. Fuck a puck. If he called me right now, then things could get incredibly awkward. He wasn’t reaching for his phone, however. He wasn’t doing very much at all.

  After a few moments of frozen inactivity, he stumbled through to his living room and then sat heavily down on a chair, still gazing at my scribbled number. I followed him in and stood staring at him, my arms folded. Did he even care that his son was desperately searching for him? He seemed like he did but if he was that bothered then why hadn’t he contacted Luke himself? I didn’t think that I was mistaking the expression of guilt on his face. I peered more closely. That wasn’t just guilt, I decided. That was also fear.

  Mark Countman rubbed his hand across his forehead and sighed, making a sound that was so heavy it filled the tiny room. Then he reached down the side of the chair and pulled up a small wooden chest. It was plain and unvarnished but, from the way that he held it, it was also as heavy as the sigh he’d emitted. He flipped it open and stared inside at the contents for a moment. I bit my lip and stepped forward, trying to peek in myself. Before I could, however, he dropped the scrap of paper inside and snapped the lid shut again. He returned the chest to its original position and leaned back in his chair, taking a remote control from the side and flicking on the television.

  My mouth dropped open. What the hell was he doing? This wasn’t the time for television, no matter what the Dark Demon was up to. Pick up your fucking phone, I wanted to scream. It was no use, however. Whatever moment had just been had passed entirely. I ground my teeth in bitter frustration. Then I quietly let myself out of the house.

  Chapter Twenty three

  Unable to see Jasper out on the street, as a result of his own invisibility magic that still affected us both, I was forced to shout to try and locate him. ‘Jasper!’ I yelled. ‘Where are you?’

  A tabby cat sitting on top of a red brick wall next to Mark Countman’s house freaked out completely, its fur standing on end as it tried to locate the source of the noise. I ignored it and opened my mouth to shout again.

  ‘I’m right here,’ Jasper murmured quietly in my ear.

  I jumped. ‘Can you remove the magic?’

  The cat began to growl, as my skin prickled and Jasper came into view. I looked down. My body was still there. I still had hands and feet and a slightly protruding belly. I breathed out. The cat was less impressed, however, and drew back on its haunches, preparing to pounce. Jasper turned his head and looked at it. A moment later, the cat backed down and began to groom itself. Huh.

  ‘What happened?’ he asked, looking at me.

  I took out my phone and waved its still darkened screen in his direction. ‘Nothing happened. He’s got my phone number. He knows it’s to do with the son he’s not seen in almost two decades. And he’s not called. He’s thrown the number into a box and forgotten all about it.’ I could barely keep the frustration out of my voice.

  Jasper’s expression didn’t alter. ‘What did you think would happen? That he’d call you up immediately and explain how he suffered from a traumatic car accident followed by amnesia and that’s why he’s not seen his son? That he’s been searching for him for years and now his life is complete because he can speak to him again?’

  Well, okay, I knew that was unlikely. I gestured helplessly towards him. ‘I expected more.’

  Jasper continued to study me. ‘You were a dope faery. You must be used to being disappointed by clients.’

  I grimaced. ‘That man’s not my client. Besides, I’m not a dope faery any longer. I’m a faery godmother.’

  ‘And only the pious and worthy deserve to come to your attention?’ he asked softly.

  ‘No.’ I cursed. ‘Yes.’ I screwed up my face. ‘I don’t know. Maybe.’

  ‘They’re all human, Saffron. They all make mistakes and screw up.’

  My shoulders dropped. ‘Faeries aren’t any different.’

  ‘No,’ he agreed. ‘We’re not.’ He waited for a beat. ‘What now? Will you tell your client where his father is?’

  I sighed. ‘I don’t know. It’
s what he wants. It’s what he thinks he wants anyway. But does he really need to know that his father still doesn’t care about him? I could be consigning him to a worse hell than he’s already in.’ I looked at him. ‘What do you think?’

  ‘You’re his faery godmother, not me,’ Jasper said. ‘It’s up to you to decide.’

  Yeah, I supposed it was. ‘Thank you,’ I said quietly.

  He quirked up an eyebrow. ‘For what?’

  I shrugged. ‘For not giving me an easy way out or telling me what to do.’

  ‘That’s not my job.’ He continued to watch me closely.

  Growing uncomfortable with the intensity of his green-eyed stare, I shook myself and stepped away. ‘Come on,’ I said finally. ‘Let’s head back to Colchester and St Clements Park. I think I have a good idea about how those godmothers have been lured out there. If I’m right, it’ll make our plan to use me as bait more likely to succeed.’

  His gaze darkened. ‘I’m no longer sure that’s such a good idea.’

  I smiled slightly. ‘Actually, when you hear what I’ve discovered, you’ll change your mind. I might even have the inside track.’ I hoped so anyway; it would certainly make a damned change.

  ***

  With Jasper’s Devil’s Advocate powers in play, there was no need to hang around waiting for crowded trains. Being whisked to the park in the blink of an eye made me realise how much I both missed and relied upon faery magic. It made the pain of losing my job and all the power that went with it that much harder to deal with. I tried not to think about it. Or Luke. Or the five godmothers who may or may not still be alive. I could only deal with one problem at a time.

  ‘I found something,’ I told Jasper, as we walked through the now almost empty park. ‘Back at the office.’

  I could sense his sudden tension. ‘Go on.’

  I reached into my pocket and pulled out the twist of brown paper which had been caught in the wheels of my office chair. ‘Here,’ I said grimly.

  Jasper took it from me, his fingers brushing against mine as he did so. I felt a brief electric shock as our skin and connected and hastily drew back. He didn’t seem to notice. ‘I don’t get it,’ he said. He frowned at the paper, holding it up and examining it. ‘What is it?’