Wishful Thinking (How To Be The Best Damn Faery Godmother In The World (Or Die Trying) Book 1)
Page 21
‘You’ve never audited the dope faeries’ office, have you?’ I twisted my mouth. ‘Sometimes our clients get their drugs in plastic baggies. Sometimes they get them in little twists just like this one.’
Jasper’s brow furrowed further. ‘You mean…?’
I nodded. ‘All I kept hearing in the godmothers’ office was how much pressure everyone was under. There’s the targets to be met, the threat of special measures, the reputation to uphold,’ I snuck him a side glance, ‘not to mention the upcoming audit.’
‘Go on.’
I swallowed. I was certain I was right but I still felt like I was trading on dangerous ground here. ‘I saw it for my own eyes. The atmosphere in there isn’t what you’d call friendly. You even commented on it yourself the first time we met.’
His expression was growing darker. ‘Indeed.’
‘Humans make mistakes and screw up,’ I reminded him gently. ‘And so do faeries. Especially when they have long hours and lots of pressures at work. One way that they could improve their situation, or at least think they could improve it, is by taking some sort of substance that could buoy them up. Increase efficiency, decrease the need for sleep, make them feel happier.’ I shrugged. ‘Whatever. If I wanted to lure a faery godmother out so I could kidnap them, I’d get them away from their office with the promise of something that would make them feel better. Illegal drugs would make sure they told no-one where they were going which is where the misdirection about being abducted on the job would come about. We already know Lydia sneaked out and hung around the park for three days. We also know from Vincent Hamilton that some other drug dealer was muscling in on his turf at the same time.’
‘Bernard,’ Jasper bit out.
I nodded. ‘Bernard.’ I fiddled with my cuffs. ‘It’s not a pretty explanation but it does fit.’
Jasper ran a hand through his hair and looked away. ‘Yes,’ he admitted. ‘It does indeed fit.’
‘So,’ I said, pretending as I were making light of the situation, ‘I really am the perfect fit. Drug dealing is a world that I understand. If we stick to the same plan where I set myself up as bait then we can catch the bastard who’s behind the abductions.’
‘Assuming,’ he said, ‘that Bernard the bastard doesn’t already know you’ve been fired.’
‘It’s only been a few hours since I was given the shove,’ I said. ‘I reckon I can still get away with it.’
Jasper bunched his hands into fists. ‘Or I can get you reinstated and …’
‘No.’ On that point, I was adamant. ‘If you intervene, it’ll make me miserable, make the other godmothers miserable and solve no actual problems. I have to deal with the issue of my job all on my own.’ Even if it meant I never got another chance at being a faery godmother. Frankly, at the moment, that might not be a bad thing.
‘Fine.’ His mouth flattened. ‘You have to be careful though. The last thing I need is for you to be abducted.’
I held up my hands up and wiggled my fingers. ‘I like all my digits where they already are, thank you very much. Besides, that’s why you’re here.’ I smiled. ‘It helps that I’ve already been loitering around here. If anyone’s been watching then they’ll think that I’m like the others and looking for a quick hit of something to perk me up.’
‘If anyone’s been watching,’ he pointed out, ‘they’ll have seen me with you as well.’
‘That first time we both ended up here by default. I wasn’t following you and you weren’t following me.’ I smiled confidently. ‘I reckon I can explain it away if need be. I doubt anyone is watching this place twenty-four seven, however. The abductions will all happen around the end of the working day when the park is almost empty.’
‘Like now.’
I bobbed my head. ‘Like now.’ I gave him a little nudge. ‘But we can’t have you scaring off our target. There’s a little café across the road. You get a good view of the park from in there so you can come running if need be. It’s better not to use your invisibility magic. We still don’t know what kind of faery we’re dealing with here and they might still sense your presence even if I can’t. If they’re watching now, we want them to see you walking off anyway. I don’t think we should call in anyone else either. We don’t want to scare Bernard off.’
Jasper folded his arms across his chest. ‘I’m not leaving you here on your own.’
‘You’ll only be across the road. Besides, I’ve got some moves. If Bernard shows up then I can do something to delay him till you get back.’
‘I don’t think that’s a great plan.’
‘It’s the best one we’ve got,’ I asserted. ‘It’ll be fine.’
He glowered. ‘It had better be.’
I pointed towards the café. ‘Go on. They’re open until eight and they do a great cheese sandwich. I’ll wait on the bench and keep my fingers crossed this works.’
‘And that you don’t die in the process.’
‘Something,’ I said with a straight face, ‘I always aim for.’
Jasper clenched his jaw and then reached for my hands, squeezing them tightly in his own. ‘Bernard could be watching us now,’ he said. ‘He could be wondering why we’re together in this park. Why we’re alone. We’d better give him a reason just in case. Then I’ll leave and double back for the café. It’s better to be safe than sorry.’
‘If you think that’s a good idea,’ I said with a shrug, ‘then sure. But why would we be alone in this park together?’
He leaned towards me. Oh. Okay. That was as good a reason as any, I supposed. I shivered.
Jasper dropped my hands, his arms going round my back. He pulled me in more closely so that my body was pressed against his.
‘You really do smell very nice,’ I told him.
‘Good.’ He smiled at me then his mouth descended on mine, gently at first, then more insistent. I pushed myself up onto my tiptoes, my knees going strangely weak at the same time. Then my hands were in his hair and I was groaning, pulling him towards me even more closely. Part of me had been expecting him to taste dark and spicy, like a fiery chilli sauce. Instead, however, along with the faint tang of mint, he tasted more like deep, dark chocolate. I wanted more. I could feel his hands at my waist, then his teeth nipping at my bottom lip. Fuck a puck. Forget those abducted faery godmothers. This was all I actually wanted. Then I winced and gently pulled away.
Jasper’s chest was rising and falling faster than normal. He wasn’t the only one who felt like that. His fingers reached for his mouth, brushing against his lips. He shook himself and dropped his hand. ‘Hopefully that worked,’ he murmured.
I met his eyes. ‘It certainly worked for me.’ I shivered again and looked away. ‘It’ll be a real coup for Bernard if the thinks he can abduct the Devil’s Advocate’s latest squeeze.’ I avoided looking at him directly again. ‘You should go.’
‘Yes.’ He reached one last time, his hand briefly taking mine. ‘Don’t get kidnapped,’ he said.
I nodded. A moment later he turned and walked away.
I watched him go. Say what you like about the man, I mused, he could definitely kiss. And he still walked like the he owned the world. He was the Devil’s Advocate though. He virtually did. I sighed. I could still taste him in my mouth. I supposed at least the kiss would give me something to think about if this did all go pear-shaped. I licked my lips and strolled towards the nearest bench, sitting myself down and avoiding the splatter of bird poo at the far end. Come on then, Bernard. Let’s be having you.
Chapter Twenty Four
An hour later, I’d decided that this was the most stupid plan anyone could ever have come up with. I was freezing cold and the damp from the wooden bench was seeping through my trousers. The windows of the café were all steamed up so it was doubtful Jasper would be able to see anything from there no matter how hard he was looking. I wrinkled my nose. There wasn’t anything interesting to look at. A family had trundled through about twenty minutes earlier but since then, the park had b
een empty other than me. At this point I’d even welcome good ol’ Vincent Hamilton back into the fray. At least it would give me something to do.
I was on the verge of giving up completely when I spotted a figure edging hesitantly towards the main park gates from the other side of the road. Whoever it was, they were coming from the direction of the faery godmother offices. I squinted. This had better be Bernard, I decided. I’d much rather get all this shit out of the way now than have to come back again and try tomorrow evening as well. Then the figure drew closer and my breath caught. No. Way.
For a brief flailing moment, my mind went entirely blank. I didn’t know what to do. My entire body was tense, as if it couldn’t decide whether to run and hide or stand and fight. One thing was certain; the plan to throw myself out as bait was no longer going to work. Not now. So much for the mysterious Bernard.
I managed to spring into action in the nick of time, throwing myself towards the single tree in the entire park to use as a shield. At least it was growing a bit darker now. It was barely dusk but anything was better than full sunshine. With luck, she wouldn’t glance over and I’d be able to stay concealed. Not that it appeared luck was on my side.
I crouched down, attempting to make my body as small as possible so that there was less chance the Director would spot me. I didn’t take my eyes off of her though, tracking her every movement as she walked slowly through the park. Had she already seen me? Had I already screwed all this up? I knew she was a good actress from the way she’d treated me in the office – pretending to be sugar sweetly nice while waiting for the right excuse to throw me out on the streets where I’d come from. I was still finding it hard to believe that she was one responsible for the kidnappings. I supposed in a way it made a sort of sickly nefarious sense, however. It would draw attention away from the other faery godmother failings of her office. It would garner her sympathy in droves. Or maybe she was just an evil bitch who took joy in the misery of others.
She didn’t once glance in my direction. Her posture was stiff but I didn’t get the sensation that she knew she was being watched. I breathed out as she sat down on the very same bench that I’d vacated. She kept her eyes trained dead ahead, not glancing around her like I had done. Then another thought struck me. What if I’d gotten all this wrong? What if the Director wasn’t here as Bernard but had instead been lured out as another potential victim? Fuck a puck. Jasper had told me himself he’d withheld details of our investigation from her. No doubt the location of this park as the abduction point was one of those details. I glanced over at the café but I couldn’t see it from this angle. I sent out a plea for silent help in Jasper’s direction. Unfortunately it appeared that none was immediately forthcoming.
I got up to my feet, my legs stiff. I’d have to approach the Director myself. If she were abducted then all hell really would break loose. And if she was here as the abductor instead of the victim, well, then, even more hell would free itself. Either way I was in a disastrous maelstrom of potentially catastrophic consequences. I couldn’t hide behind a tree and do nothing though. It wasn’t in my nature.
I dusted down my clothes and ran my hands through my hair. There was no reason to look disheveled and unkempt, I decided. She was still the faery godmother Director. It was just as well that I took that time to sort out my appearance, however. The delay was long enough for a white van to pull up outside the park’s entrance. Four figures jumped out and began striding towards the Director. The lead one was male. White. Bald. Big ears but good looking. I squeaked. It was Vincent Hamilton’s ratty bastard. It had to be. The Director really was a victim then. This was Bernard and he was here for her.
I glanced back at the café. There was still no sign of Jasper. The Director was already on her feet and moving towards Bernard. I couldn’t waste any more time. I had to help her.
‘Hey!’ My voice was high pitched and panicked, more of a screech than a shout. The Director heard it and frowned, turning in my direction. Unfortunately Bernard heard it too. His head snapped towards mine, eyes narrowing. Then he started to raise his hands.
‘Run!’ I yelled to the Director. Except she did no such thing. She froze, suddenly unsure of what to do. I had no time to do anything myself other than pitch dramatically to the left, avoiding whatever Bernard was trying to throw at me. There was a sizzle somewhere beyond my left ear. I hissed and looked round, registering the smouldering patch of weeds where I’d been standing moments earlier. I shook my head in dismay. What the hell had that been?
The other three ran at the Director. She finally seemed to realise the gravity of the situation and began to move, racing to join me, her face a white mask of fear and determination. She was too late, however. She was still at least thirty metres from me when the fastest of the bastards lunged for her, bringing her body slamming down to the ground in a vicious rugby tackle. The Director spun, her hands scrabbling in her pockets for her wand. I sprang up to my feet and began sprinting forward once more, zigzagging to avoid any more magical incineration bolts. The wanker who had a hold of the Director hauled her up to her feet, one hand encircling tightly round her wrist and forcing her to drop her wand with a sharp cry of pain. The other hand held a gleaming, curved dagger to her throat. He allowed the blade to slice into her skin, beads of blood forming across her pale neck. I skidded to a halt, my heart hammering against my chest.
‘Come any closer,’ Bernard called out, in a chillingly calm voice, ‘and we’ll slit her throat and be done with this.’
I swallowed. My mouth felt painfully dry and my hands were shaky. I stared from Bernard to the bastard holding the Director to the other two women who were staring at me with a mixture of morbid glee and undisguised hatred. They weren’t faeries. I didn’t need to get up close and personal with them to be able to tell that. But they weren’t human either. They had an indefinable, ethereal quality about them. I couldn’t pinpoint it exactly. But it was definitely there. What the fuck was going on here? And where was Jasper?
‘You don’t have to do this.’ My words came out more as a croaked whisper than an assured command. ‘You can let her go and we’ll forget all about this.’
Bernard threw his head back and laughed. ‘But we don’t want to forget about all this. That’s entirely the point.’
I looked at the Director’s face. She was still pale but she somehow seemed less frightened now. Her expression was calmer. She gazed at me. ‘It’s alright, Saffron. Just stay back.’
Bernard raised a single, dark eyebrow. ‘Saffron?’
‘She’s the new one,’ one of the women muttered. ‘The transfer.’
He looked amused. ‘Ah, yes. Such a shame. It’s not even been a week as a faery godmother and it’s already ended in disaster.’ He grinned. ‘That should put off any other faeries from rushing to join the godmother ranks.’
‘Can we kill her?’ the woman asked, clearly hopeful that I was about to meet my maker.
Bernard tapped his mouth thoughtfully. ‘Hmm. I’ve not made up my mind. Her presence is rather … unexpected.’
There had to be a way out of this. I just wasn’t seeing it yet. The best thing I could do would be to keep the bastard busy. Any extra seconds I could scrape up might give Jasper enough time to put his own plan into action. Because surely he had a plan. He was the Devil’s Advocate after all. We might not have been expecting this many adversaries, or the Director herself, but we could still adapt. Couldn’t we?
‘Why are you doing this?’ I asked, my voice stronger this time. It was a daft question. He was doing it because he was a psychotic bastard. If I could get him talking, however, I could perhaps delay matters enough for Jasper to join us and use his powers to save the day.
Bernard grinned. ‘That’s the million pound question, sweetheart.’
‘You’ve kidnapped five godmothers,’ I said. ‘And you’ve not asked for any ransom.’
He pointed at the Director. ‘Six godmothers,’ he said. ‘Don’t forget about your boss.’
Bernard strolled nonchalantly over to his goon, taking hold of the Director’s right hand. He began to stroke it. Even from here I could see her shudder. ‘Don’t you know who I am?’
‘No,’ I said. ‘I don’t.’
He looked at me. ‘You’re telling the truth,’ he said softly. ‘You don’t know.’ He flicked his eyes at the Director. ‘You must know who I am.’
She didn’t say anything. All she did was press her mouth into a stubborn line and resolutely refuse to meet his gaze. Bernard’s expression didn’t change. He simply pulled her hand up to his mouth then, without taking his eyes off of mine, he bit down hard on her pinky.
The Director screamed. She yanked her hand back, blood everywhere. Bernard chewed thoughtfully more a moment and then spat out the tiny digit. It bounced off the ground, coming to lie between us, the bastard’s teeth marks visible across its length. I fought against my own rising nausea. Was this really happening?
‘Who am I?’ Bernard asked her, his barely accented voice so soft it was almost a caress. A caress of pure evil.
For a moment, she didn’t respond. He shrugged to himself and reached over to take hold of her other hand. The Director licked her lips. ‘You’re a troll,’ she whispered.
Bernard beamed from ear to ear. ‘You do know!’ He released his grip on her unharmed hand and began to clap. ‘I knew you were old enough to know of our kind.’ He gestured towards his grim companions. ‘We’re all trolls.’
I stared at him. I thought all the trolls were dead. That they’d all been killed in a single freak accidents decades ago. How on earth could they possibly exist now?
He laughed at the look on my face. ‘You see what we’re fighting against here, folks?’ he said. ‘This one didn’t think we were real. That’s how low we have fallen.’ His eyes gleamed. ‘It won’t be long before every faery in the land knows of our kind and knows that we still survive despite their best efforts to the contrary. We are the stuff of faery godmother nightmares.’ He bared his teeth. ‘We won’t kill her. It’s time to let them all know. Our anonymity has served its purpose in creating an appropriate climate of fear. Now it’s time to draw back the curtain. With the Director of the esteemed faery godmothers in our grasp, the terror our very names can unleash will do enough to strike fear into every faery heart. The reign of faery is almost over. The reign of troll is about to begin. It won’t be long before there isn’t a single faery left on this planet who will dare to be a godmother or to grant any wishes. Your entire organisation is on its last legs. Thanks to us.’