Saving Grace

by Christine Zolendz

  I straightened my hair until it was shiny and liquid black reaching to my waist. I added a little bit of makeup, but kept it light.

  "Um, wow," Lea said as she opened my bedroom door. "That shirt is crazy! Please tell me you have one in pink for me!"

  "In the box on top of your dresser, it was an impulse, late night online purchase, enjoy." I laughed as she bolted out of my room. "I pretty much bought it for Conner," I called.

  The squeals that came out of her room were hysterical. She rushed back into my room holding the pink top and a few other matching lacy things I bought when I thought I had someone special to wear them for.

  Clutching her new weapons of mass destruction, her eyes widened and her smile disappeared when the realization dawned on her. "The pink shirt that was for me, and these beautiful, sexy, lacy things..." she held them out to me. "These were for Shane, weren't they?"

  I shrugged. "Believe me, Conner will appreciate them more."

  "So that's it. Shane is not an option anymore?"

  I sat down on my mattress, hauling my leather boots up my legs. "I know I should just pretend it doesn't hurt and it doesn't matter and just spend time with him. But God, Le a, I can't sit here in front of you and pretend it didn't hurt like hell seeing them. I wanted to be the only one, not just Monday night's girl."

  We walked down the hallway and into the living room for our jackets. "How would I act after? I mean, we are in a band together, what if he moved on to the next girl and I flip out on him? I was always an expert at pretending in my other lives, but with Shane, it's so hard. It's so real."

  She opened the front door for me and I walked out after her, locking up. "Lea, he was the only one that ever made me forget about Shamsiel."

  She hooked her arm in mine as we walked down the street, "Maybe because he was Shamsiel for a while. Does he remember anything? Have you talked to him?"

  I shook my head slowly, "When Shane and I are in the same room, we either fight or kiss. Although, yesterday at dinner he said he remembered everything, but I don't know what that means. It kind of got all weird and intense after he said it and we just wanted to get home and get our hands on each other."

  We rounded the corner and walked towards Boozer's. "Conner and I were like that in the beginning too. We couldn't keep our hands off each other, but we were friends first, for a while."

  Boozer's had a decent sized crowd, mostly people eating dinner and listening to a recorded CD of Mad World. Shane's raspy voice echoed through the speakers sending shivers along my spine. I couldn't get away from him, even if I tried, could I?

  When our favorite waitress, Mollie, came over to say hello and we told her about our Boys Hater Club night, she threw her apron on the bar and joined us. From behind the bar, Ryan laughed and shook his head. Another waitress came over and we ordered burgers, fries, milkshakes and chocolate chip cookies with vanilla ice cream.

  When our milkshakes were served, we clinked our glasses together laughing. "Hey," Mollie said. "Just think about how great it would be to have a world without men."

  "Lots of happy fat women with tons of sex toys?" Lea laughed.

  "Oh, stop, Lea. You have a GREAT boyfriend! Conner is good looking and he doesn't even notice any other girls, he's like perfect!" Mollie said. "God I wish I could get Alex to not look at anyone but me!"

  I smiled at her, "Oh, you like Alex?"

  "I would kill for his attention, but he just peeks down my shirt, or smacks me in the behind, and nothing else!" She lifts up her hands, "What does a girl have to do to get one of those boys to ask her out?"

  When our food arrived, Marie slipped into our booth and giggled, "I, uh, heard that this was the Boys Hater Club. I need in."

  I almost choked on my burger. "What? From who?"

  She pointed a bright pink manicured finger towards Ryan, who laughed and flipped his bar towel over his shoulder winking at me. "So, can I stay?" She eyed me closely and waited. I wondered if we were both hurting from the same guy. I pushed my fries at her and nodded. "The ice cream and cookies are coming next," I smiled.

  Marie's eyebrows rose. "How come you're her e, though? You seem to have Shane wrapped around your fingers," she said popping a fry into her mouth.

  I laughed and sipped at my milkshake. "Yeah, right. Trust me I don't affect Shane in the least," I explained.

  "Yeah, well, he wouldn't even give me the time of day because of you," she murmured.

  "Wait! What?" Lea snapped.

  "That night we were all here drinking. I practically begged him to come into the bathroom with me, he kept telling me about her," she jabbed her fingers at me. "And then you show up, and he kisses me to get you jealous, then leaves!"

  "Huh? You didn't fool around with him in the bathroom?" I asked.

  "Yeah, I wish," she said.

  "But he's got a picture of you in the bathroom topless on his phone!"

  She giggled, "They all do."

  Holy crap. Why did Gabriel's kiss show me them together?

  A heavily tattooed arm reached out in front of me to take my plate and in its place was left a shot glance full of a dark golden liquid. My eyes traveled up the arm and saw Ryan. " He y, Grace, I thought maybe you girls could use a drink, from one of the nice guys. It's on me," he said as he winked and walked away.

  "Well now," Mollie said. "I think Ryan has the hots for Grace!"

  I gulped down the shot. "Hey, what do men and diapers have in common?" I looked around to all the shrugs. "They are always on someone's ass and they are always full of shit!"

  The four of us laughed and drank milkshakes; yes, we ordered more, blasting all things manly. Then Conner and Tucker came in, and Lea said that all the man bashing had to stop immediately.

  Conner walked up to our table, with his eyes narrowing and rubbed his chin, "Well, if this isn't a motley crew, I don't know what is." He scanned the table and his eyes widened, "Milkshakes? Oh boy, who is the guy? And what did he do?"

  I leveled a stare at Lea, "You tell your boyfriend way too many of our secrets!"

  Tucker jumped into the seat next to me and drummed his hands on the table loudly, "Hell... l o, ladies." He slid over closer to me and whispered, "So, what does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?" Wow, just the sound of Tucker's voice caused me to have an instant headache.

  "Oh uh, Tucker are you drunk already?" I teased him.

  "Nah, I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you," he murmured.

  "Do you own a book of the crapiest pickup lines ever? Where do you hear those lines?" Lea laughed.

  He laughed and wrapped an arm around me. I cringed. "Yeah, I guess I just get a bit stupid when Grace is around. I mean look at her, she's beautiful." Then he kissed me on my forehead.

  I pulled myself away from him as fast as I could, "Are you on medication for your personality disorder? Don't touch m e, Tucker; you make my skin feel crawly."

  I zoned out the rest of the conversations, I tuned my ears into the Mad World songs playing, mesmerized by Shane's voice. Everybody's voice buzzed and flew around me, but Shane's lyrics and the melody of his guitar pierced through my soul. And I couldn't help thinking that if he really didn't do anything with Marie because of me, maybe he didn't really do anything with Bliss either.

  I excused myself from the laughter and fun of the table and made my way to the bar. I pulled up a stool and slapped a few twenties on the bar. Ryan came over, eyes shining, and bounced on his toes. " He y, gorgeous, what do you need?" He flicked his lip ring with his tongue, and it gave me a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach because I knew he had to be doing it on purpose. "Need another Shane Eraser?"

  Heat flushed to my cheeks and I covered my face with my hands, "Oh God, Ryan. I'm pretty pathetic, aren't I?"

  He shook his head and nodded to the table, "What's the Bo y's Hater Club for? He screwed up didn't he?"

  I shrugged, "I don't know if it's me or him who keeps screwing up."

  Without me asking for one, he pour
ed me a shot of whiskey and slid it in front of me. "Well, I gotta say, I am one jealous guy right now," he said leaning his elbows on the bar in front of me. "I was hoping he'd mess up big time and I could kiss all your hurt away." That tongue of his flicked out and around his ring, then his top teeth bit into it. DON'T KEEP LOOKIN G, GRACE!

  My cheeks burned hotter. I turned my face to stop looking at him and standing at the other end of the bar was Shane.

  My heart just stopped. I think it was trying to fling itself out of my body and right into his hands. My chest actually ached and pulled toward him. How can that be normal?

  Come o n, Grace, you are so much stronger than this! He had sex with Bliss! What if he didn't?

  I watched the anger flash in Shane's eyes when he saw Ryan hunched over the bar talking to me. His eyes locked back to mine and his face flushed of all its color. Ryan dragged his body back across the bar away from me, leaving me sitting alone.

  Shane ran his hand through his hair and slowly shook his head. My chest tightened and a sour thickness filled my throat. He spun on his heels and walked out of the bar.

  If I meant nothing to him, if I was just Monday's girl, why would he care if I talked to Ryan? Because maybe I was wrong about Bliss?

  Chapter 22

  I left the bar by myself and practically ran all the way back to my apartment. I told Lea I was leaving and hopping on my bike to search for Shane so I could talk to him. I was only stopping at the apartment so I could change into my riding boots and get my helmet.

  I ran down the hallway and tore through my bedroom to find my boots, but when I turned around to leave, Gabriel stood in my doorway.

  "I don't have time to play with you right no w, Gabriel, get out of my way."

  "Running after that little pretty boy of yours? It's so beneath yo u, Grace," he said, stepping closer.

  I said nothing. I couldn't, and I couldn't move either.

  "Were you going to try to find him? Tell him that you love him? I can show you where he i s, Grace. However, I don't have to show you all of Shane's sins now do I, he shows you them himself quite often, it's amusing to watch."

  He closed the door behind him, locking it. I was frozen to the spot, my heart hammering; I just wanted to talk to Shane.

  The air around me grew colder the closer he came, until my body shivered. Gabriel held his hand up and ran his fingertips along my cheek, down my neck and along my collarbone, stopping right above my breasts. Everywhere his fingers touche d, an icy darkness pierced my skin. It curled through my flesh and veins and tried to grab hold of my heart. "I like this shir t, Grac e, it shows so much of that soft ivory skin of yours."

  My lungs felt like they were being squeezed and all the air that was left in them came out in one long painful cough. No more air was let in, and all the ability I had to breathe stopped. My lungs burned and the fire rose instantly into my throat burning my eyes.

  Gabriel met his lips with mine and puffed a breath of air through my lips with a kiss. I gasped from it and finally feeling I had control over my body again, fell to my knees.

  "Why are you doing this, now?" I wheezed.

  "Because, I don't want to exist without you, Grace."

  "I don't believe anything that you say, Gabriel. You've lied to me so many times."

  He pulled me by the back of my neck to him, pleasure ripping through my spine. "I've kept you safe for centuries. I stayed with yo u, Grace. ME!"

  "Safe, you call that safe? You destroyed me. You ripped my soul of any and all hope. And now you are trying to keep me from Shane? You lied to me when you showed me him and Marie! Why can't I have this life without you in it?"

  "Together, Grace, we can be unstoppable."

  "Why do you want to be unstoppable, Gabriel?" I crawled closer to him, locking my eyes on his. His grip on the back of my neck tightened. "Archangels aren't supposed to try to take over Heaven. They're not supposed to do anything against it, they can't! You know that it can never happen, right?"

  He chuckled. "I was the first archangel to ever fall; the laws of heaven don't apply to me. My lovely Grace, don't you feel the pleasure I can give you when I just touch your skin? Think of that and more." He placed his lips on my neck and pure sublime pleasure rocked through my skin. I could feel it run through my veins like a cold hard drug trying to darken my soul.

  "It feels like nothing compared to Shane's touch or Shamsiel's kiss." I pushed away from him and stood up, "All you say are lies, Gabriel. The first archangel to ever fall was..." I stared at him and then all the hairs along my arms and on the back of my neck lifted with icy fear. My heart pounded and I could feel my lips trembling on my next words. Oh hell no.

  "Abaddon, Accuser, Beelzebub, Devil, Dragon, Father of all lies, Lucifer, Tempter, Carl Sumptom, Blake Bevli. Oh, my dear, I have been called so many things in my time, but Gabriel was the first, and I do like it the best," he laughed.

  I backed up against my wall. Well, that just made everything a hell of a lot more screwed up. What the HELL am I supposed to do NOW? "Well, that didn't win you any brownie points with m e, Gabriel. It kind of made me vomit a bit in my mouth, honestly. I want to live this life; you could just go back to hell."

  "I give you a week."

  "You're giving me a week left to live MY LIFE?"

  "No, my Grace, I think you'll hold out another week, and then I think you'll beg for me to take your life."

  And then he was gone.

  The temperature in the room grew warmer and my throat was scorched dry. I couldn't swallow through the burn and I gasped for air choking on the thickness in my own throat. I flung open my door and ran down the hallway into the kitchen. I could hear people in the living room, but I ignored the voices and ripped open the refrigerator, smashing a dozen eggs across the floor, and tore off the cap to a bottle of water. I couldn't gulp it fast enough, my body felt like it was on fire and I couldn't quench the flames. When I finished the bottle, I threw it behind me and opened another one, then another. Tears filled my eyes; the pain just wouldn't go away. Is this what he meant? That I'd suffer for days and I'd break in less than a week? He was the devil, THE DEVIL! I'd been friends with the fucking devil for centuries, and he loved me, and OH MY GOD! I could NEVER love him. Eww, he wanted me to have his little red horned babies!

  "Grace, are you okay?"

  I spun around to the voice. My vision was blurred, like I had been asleep and just woke up and the kitchen became brighter and more colorful. Holy crap! What the hell is happening to me?

  Lea stood in the doorway to the kitchen; Shane and Conner were behind her. But I couldn't focus on anyone but him. "I'm really thirsty," I croaked.

  Shane rushed over to me and placed the back of his hand against my forehead, I fell into his arms. "Grace, you're burning up." He turned his head to Lea, "Get some aspirin and juice." Then I was being lifted into his arms, and I swear I could have died happy right there. The gentle sway of his movements almost lulled me to sleep as I felt him carry me through the hallway. I tried to wrap my arms around his neck, but they were way too heavy. I felt him shift my body as he opened the door to my room, and then his body stiffened.

  " Go d, Grace, you don't have a bed?" He lowered me onto the mattress and brushed a stray hair from off my face. I heard Lea whispering, but her words were too muffled and soft. "Grace, baby. Please open your eyes and take these aspirin." I looked at him though small almond shaped slits, I couldn't get my eyes any wider. God, he was beautiful, he looked like an angel. I hoped I didn't say that out loud. I swallowed the pills and closed my eyes again.

  "Lea, wait. We can't leave her in these clothes, she's soaking wet from sweating. Find me something she can wear to bed. I'll leave, so you can change her," Shane whispered.

  My door clicked closed and my shirt was yanked over my head. "Grace, help me here, you're like a dead weight," Lea said. I tried to open my eyes wider and help her pull the rest of my clothes off, I'm not sure of my success though, because she cursed at me the entire ti
me. "How come you didn't tell me you were sick, I got so scared when you didn't answer the door when I knocked."

  "I don't think I'm sick. Gabriel was here," I whispered back.

  She let go of the hold she had on me and I collapsed back onto the mattress with a thud. My eyes flew open. Holy crap she dressed me in a tiny pair of boy shorts and a tank top, of course they were made of lace. I squeezed my eyes shut tight cringing on the inside.

  Shane was kneeling next to me again and pulled up the covers to my chin. "Get, some slee p, babe." Cool lips touched my forehead.

  I opened my eyes halfway and placed a hand on his face. He leaned into my palm. "Don't g o, Shane. Stay with me."

  A slow smile spread on his lips, "Okay." I felt the mattress move as he got up. My eyesight was foggy, but I watched as Shane strolled across the room, pulled off his shirt and jeans, and threw them into my hamper. I watched the tattoos move against his muscles wearing only a pair of boxers as he walked to switch the light off. The mattress moved next me as he crawled under the covers and wrapped his arms around me pulling me in tight.

  His raspy voice whispered softly into my ear, "Are you okay, does anything hurt?"

  Sleep was pulling me under and heaviness covered itself around my body. Just stay with me Shane. The devil says he loves me, and he's coming to get me. Crap, I hope I didn't say that out loud.

  Softly he placed his lips on the nape of my neck, just below my ear, and kissed me. "Shut up and go to sleep, Grace."

  I kept waking up in the darkness of my room to someone screaming, only to realize it was my own voice that was screaming.

  "Shh," Shane murmured, his hand brushing over my cheek. "You're saf e, Grace; I won't let anyone ever hurt you again." His lips pressed a soft sensual kiss over mine. A thousand butterflies caressed their silky wings along my heart, making it drum faster. His words filled me with hope and the longing I felt for him, the pull in my chest, was overwhelming.