by Lynn Jaxon
I’m still devastated over my wife’s death. I miss her every day, but the pain is getting easier to deal with. I have Marley to thank for that. She is standing by me even after all I have done, but I have kept my promise to her, and I’m getting help. I now feel like I’m almost one hundred percent healed. I know I also have Em to thank for that. I found a letter last week in my bible. The letter was from Em. She knew that once I was able to come to terms with her death that I would turn to my bible. I’m not an overly religious man, but I’ve grown up reading the bible and taking comfort in the word of God. To say I was floored to find a note is an understatement.
My dearest Benson,
If you’re reading this, then I know that you are on your way to healing. I put this letter in your bible because I knew God would lead you here when you were ready.
First off, thank you for the best twenty-nine years of my life. Four years of dating and twenty-five years of blissful marriage. You gave me a life that most women can only dream of. Two beautiful children, a gorgeous home, financial security, and your hot body. Jk, jk. You’re more than just a hot body, but I won’t complain.
I know this has been so hard on you. You don’t think you will ever heal and be able to open your heart again. I want you to know that you WILL LOVE AGAIN!!! Yes, I’m yelling at you. This brings me to the main point of my letter. You wondered why I was so adamant about Marley coming to stay with us instead of us hiring a hospice nurse to take care of me. For one, she is the best damn nurse I know. Definitely the smartest person I know. Two, she loves me like a sister and the boys like they are her own. Third and most importantly, I think she is perfect for you. You two have so much in common. Most importantly, me. ;P You have been a bit of an ass to her. I have been telling her that it is your grief. That you really aren’t this prickly all the time. I hope that by now you two are getting to know each other better. Open your heart to her. She has so much to give. It’s not my story to tell, but trust me when I say that she knows about loss. So, this is me giving you permission to love again. I’m even hopeful that you and Marley find your way to each other.
I will always be here. I’m in the song you hear on the radio, the wind that blows through the trees, and the memory in your dreams. We had an amazing life, but it is time for you to move on. I will always love you. Don’t ever think that I will feel like you loving again takes away or tarnishes the love you have for me. Be Happy!
All my love,
Em
Leave it to Em to put me in my place, making me laugh and cry all at the same time. I look up to heaven and say to Em, “You’re right. You were always right about everything. Marley is a great person. We’ve become close over the past five months. I was an ass, and I’m ashamed of myself. I was an ugly drunk after you died. I tried to hold it together. I really did. I hit rock bottom, and no matter what, she was there. She called me every day, which I’m sure, now more than ever, that you had something to do with that. I would just sit there and not say a word, but she would talk. She shared memories of you two in nursing school and during the summer when you would go visit with the boys. Then one day I just fell apart, and she has been there to pick me up. I hate to admit it but, I really fucked up. I hurt her by pushing her away. If only I had found this letter sooner, maybe I wouldn’t have reacted the way that I did. But you know Marley. She is amazing, and she has forgiven me. Next week, I am going to Arkansas to run a half marathon with her. And guess what! BOTH Mitch and Henry are running it with us. Can you believe she was able to work her magic and get Henry, couch-loving Henry, to run? He has even been training with Mitch for the past three months. He’s enjoying the added benefits of the changes in his physique from running. He has a new girlfriend, Kristi, and from what I hear, she has auburn hair just like you. I will get to meet her because she is running in the race, too. They actually met when he was out running in the park. She was training for the same race. Marley has met her and absolutely adores her. I wish you were going to be there to meet her, too. She just may be the mother of our grandchildren one day. Who am I kidding? You’re in the know. You better send me a sign if she isn’t right for our boy. I love you, Em.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Marley
I’m so excited. Today is the day that Ben arrives in Fayetteville. Other than an occasional FaceTime chat when I’m out with Mitch and Henry, I haven’t seen Ben since the disastrous first date we were supposed to have. He decided to drive because he plans on staying for a while to find a location for his new gym. I secretly hope he decides to stay indefinitely. I was surprised when he agreed to stay at my house. I have two extra rooms, so there is no need for him to stay in a hotel. He planned on leaving at five o’clock in the morning. It takes just over ten hours to drive from his house to mine. Looking at my watch, I see that it is only nine a.m. I hate waiting. I’m so impatient. I hope he has an uneventful drive.
I busy myself cleaning my already clean house. It doesn’t take long for me to break out into a sweat, so I decide to take a bath to relax my nerves. I turn on the radio and start myself a hot bubble bath. I grab my kindle and strip out of my sweat pants and T-shirt. I look in the mirror at my full, size D breasts smashed down in the sports bra I am wearing. It kills me running with the girls if they are not smashed down in a tight sports bra. I pull the bra over my head, and the girls sing with relief. I wiggle out of my boy shorts and climb into the steaming bath. It smells of the citrus bath bomb I dropped into the water. I slide down into the water and grab my kindle. Now to decide between a sweet romance or a toe-curling, erotic romance to read while I unwind. I better go with the sweet romance, because toe-curling erotica will just get me wound up.
The sound of my ring tone startles me from my reading. Damn, this water is freezing. How long have I been in here? Shit, it’s eleven. I’ve been in here for almost two hours! A smile hits my face as soon as I see Ben’s name come up on the screen. “Hello, handsome.” We have been flirtier in our phone conversations over the past month. I have sensed a change in Ben. A lightness that has been missing. I hope to get to experience that lightness up close and personal. “How is the drive? Are you getting sleepy? If you are, you need to pull over and take a nap.” I’m rambling, but I can't help it.
“Take a breath and come and open the door.”
“WHAT!! You’re already here? What time did you leave this morning?” My heart starts racing in my chest with excitement. Omg, he’s here. I need to get myself under control before I make a complete and utter fool of myself.
“Calm down. I was anxious to get here so I decided to leave at one o'clock this morning. Red Bull and coffee are my best friends. Now, why am I still standing out here on your front porch?”
“Shit,” I say as I realize that I’m naked as the day I was born and wrinkled like a prune. “Hold on one more minute. I need to throw on some clothes.”
In a husky voice, Ben says, “Don’t do that on my account.” He then laughs his sexy laugh.
I throw on my fluffy green robe and matching slippers and head to the door. I take a cleansing breath and open it to see the most stunning man alive.
His smile is so bright, I need some sunglasses. He winks and then says, “You’re the cutest little lime I have ever seen.”
He leans in to give me a hug, and I melt inside and then playfully slap him on the arm for calling me a lime. “I happen to love the color lime green, so deal with it. If you’re staying here, you will be seeing a lot of this green robe. And don’t forget my slippers.” I pick up my foot and shake it dramatically.
“Em loved the color lime green along with her pink. I gave her shit about it too, so prepare yourself.” He smirks and winks at me.
“You’re such a turkey!”
“Gobble-Gobble.”
My heart is beating so hard, and I feel like I’m blushing like a teenager having him in my house. “Well, come on in, and I will show you to your room so you can put your bags down. Feel free to lay down and take a nap. I know you m
ust be exhausted.”
“Thanks, Mar. I’m pretty tired. I’m not as young as I used to be. I need my beauty sleep.”
I over exaggerate a head nod and say, “You definitely need your beauty sleep.”
Ben just tilts his head to the side and rolls his eyes.
My house is a split floor plan. My bedroom is on one side of the house, off of the living room, while the guest rooms and my office are on the other side of the house in the hall off of the kitchen. I show him his room next to my office which has the attached Jack and Jill bathroom. I show him the bathroom and where all the towels and toiletries are located. He holds up a small bag, chuckles and says, “Thanks, but I brought my manly stuff. I can’t afford to smell like a girl if I’m looking for gym space. No person alive would take me seriously.”
I smirk at him saying, “They just might think you’re the luckiest man in the world.” Then I stick my tongue out and pop my hip out to the side, turn and walk away.
“Did mean old Benson hurt Mar’s feelings? I’m sorry. I was just kidding.”
I’m as far from mad as can be and it takes everything I have to keep from laughing. “Just watch yourself, mister.” I can’t hold it in, and I bust out laughing.
As I’m walking down the hallway, I hear, “Damn Mar, how many doors do I need to lock when I have to take a piss?”
“Well, that’s up to you, big man. How worried are you that I‘m going to walk in on you and see something I shouldn’t?” I could go on like this with him for hours.
When Ben comes into the kitchen, I turn to him. “I’m glad you’re here. Mitch and Henry can’t wait to see you. They had a late-night last night. There was a big party at one of the second-year law student’s houses. The summer class schedule is grueling, so they tend to unwind on Friday night. Can I fix you something to eat for lunch? I’m starving.”
“Lunch sounds great. Is there anything I can do to help you?”
“Nope,” I say, popping the P. “I made some chicken salad last night from the left-over chicken I baked for dinner. Is that okay with you?”
“I love chicken salad. As long as it doesn’t have boiled eggs in it. I love eggs, but I don’t like them in salad of any kind. Call me weird.”
“Well, if I call you weird then I’m calling myself weird. I hate boiled eggs of any kind, so you don’t have to worry about them showing up in your salad.”
“Sweet! Bring on the chicken salad. I’m starving too. I’ve missed your cooking. In case I didn’t tell you before, I really appreciate all you did when you came to help take care of Em. You did way more than was expected. Shit, none of it was expected, but even though I didn’t say it or show you, I appreciated it more than you will ever know.” His demeanor shifts slightly and there is a note of sadness in his voice, but he quickly shifts back to his happy self. “You didn’t lose your magic touch in the kitchen over the past six months, did you?”
“No, I did not. I love to cook, even when it is just for me, or if I’m lucky, for your two handsome boys. I have multigrain bread or wheat tortillas. Which one would you like?”
“Multigrain bread sounds great. Thanks.”
“Do you want cheese and lettuce? Mayo or whipped dressing?”
“Wow, so many decisions to make for a sandwich.” He laughs. “Is there anything better than whipped dressing? I think not. And yes, and yes to the cheese and lettuce.”
“One more question. Pepper Jack or Cheddar?”
“Most definitely Pepper Jack. You can never have too much spice in your life.” He winks.
He is flirting more today than he has in all our phone conversations. It’s like something has shifted, and he feels a little freer to be himself. This makes me happy.
I make our sandwiches, which are identical. We have so much in common, it is uncanny. Em always told me that we did. She would joke and tell me she was glad she already had him because he was just a perfect match for me. I wonder what she would think if she saw us now.
We are both hungry, so, we do more eating than we do talking.
When we finish, I stand up and take my plate to the sink. Ben comes up behind me with his and reaches around me with both arms to hold his plate under the water I have streaming in the sink. My body goes still, reacting to his proximity. I have fluttering in my stomach and feel weak at the knees. I’m in so much trouble if just his nearness causes this kind of reaction in me. I gaze upward and think, Forgive me, Em. I take the plate from his hand and our fingers touch. I feel a spark of electricity pass between us. I know he felt it too because he audibly lets out a gasp and then backs away.
“Thanks for lunch, Mar. If it’s okay with you, I’m going to lay down for a little bit before the boys come over.”
“That is fine with me. I need to go get dressed and do something with this mop of hair before it becomes completely unmanageable. See you in a bit, Ben.”
Ben touches my shoulder as he passes me on the way to his room. “See you soon.”
And the butterflies are back.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Benson
I strip out of my clothes, into my gym shorts and climb into this very small bed. My feet are almost hanging off the end of it. I’m used to sleeping on a king size bed. I lay here thinking about the past hour.
When she opened the door in that ugly lime green robe, she took my breath away. After finding Em’s letter, I have allowed myself to be open and to feel again. Em isn’t coming back, and I don’t want to live the rest of my life alone. Marley’s smile when she opened the door was bright as the sun, and it was just for me. Only one other woman has ever made me feel this way from just a smile.
What seems like just minutes later, I feel something wet on my face. “What the hell?” I yell. I open my eyes and see Mitch and Henry standing over the bed with a squirt bottle of water, spraying it right in my face. “You little assholes. Put that down and come give your old dad a hug.”
They are both laughing, and I look to the door and see Marley laughing as well. What a good feeling to see the people I love happy and smiling. I haven’t given the boys too many reasons to smile since their mom has been gone, but I have been working hard to change that, and I’m glad to see that I have.
I’m now squished between the two most important people in my life, and I’m looking up at the woman who is quickly becoming the third.
“Did Marley give you that spray bottle?” I look up at her with a mischievous look in my eye. I snatch the bottle from Henry and leap off the bed as Marley goes running down the hallway. She is no match for me though. When she reaches the couch, I pounce on her, causing her to fall back onto the soft cushions, and then I begin to tickle her until she can’t take it anymore. She thought I was going to spray her, but I wouldn’t do that. She looks too beautiful. Her make up too perfect.
Mitch and Henry give each other a knowing grin, and I hear Mitch whisper to Henry, “Mom was right.” And they both smile.
Marley is begging me to let her up saying, “Ben pleeeease! I’m about to pee my pants!” I take pity on her and stop tickling. Our eyes meet, and that same electricity passes between us. I hop up and offer my hand to help her up.
“So, what do you three have planned for us tonight? I need to take a quick shower, and then I will be good as new.” I pop each boy on the back of the head and say, “That is for squirting me in the face with water while I was in a deep sleep, you little punks.” I then turn to Mar and say, “I’m still thinking about ways I can make you pay for giving it to them.” I wink at her and then strut down the hallway into the bedroom.
I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. My dick is screaming for release. When I threw my body on top of hers, every nerve ending that has been dormant for the last six months came alive. When she started to wiggle beneath me, I know she could feel that I was hard as steel for her.
I turn on the shower and then strip off my shorts, now tight briefs, and shirt. I throw a towel over the shower door and then climb in. I wash my f
ace and body. When I reach for my dick, it is painfully swollen and ready for some action. I just wish it wasn’t my hand giving him what he needs. I close my eyes, and for the first time, I picture Marley, without the weight of guilt holding back my pleasure. It only takes me seconds to explode as I imagine her luscious body rubbing up against me. Her glorious tits look to be way more than a handful, and I have very large hands. It takes everything in me not to scream out her name in pleasure as I let go.
I quickly dry off and get dressed in dark jeans and a fitted pullover that accentuates my muscular arms and chest. Yes, I may be trying just a little too hard to impress her.
They are all sitting around the couch laughing and talking when I come in the room. “You clean up good old man,” Henry chides. “Too bad you don’t look as good as me.”
“Whatever, doofus,” Mitch says, as he shakes his head. “I’m the looker in this family.”
“Who do you think gave you the good looks? That’s right, me. So, it’s plainly obvious that I’m the best looking of the bunch. Wouldn’t you agree Mar?”
“Leave me out of this testosterone filled contest. I think you’re all devilishly handsome. Now that that’s settled, where are we going to eat?”
“Let’s go to Hammontree’s Grilled Cheese. That place is the bomb,” says Mitch. “I never knew you could have so many different kinds of grilled cheese sandwiches. And their sweet potato fries are the best!”