Barely Breathing (Keep Breathing Book 1)

by Erica Marselas

  “I can’t, especially now. I’m kind of in the middle of it. The more information I have, the better it would be.”

  “What the hell does that mean? What did you do?”

  I brace myself because this is going to go down about as well as swallowing hot lava. “I’m working at Dolson.”

  "What are you doing there, Jaxson?” he yells, making the line go static. “I thought you were working with Liam?"

  "I was, but this opportunity came up."

  "Opportunity? What opportunity? Are you talking about River? Because I know she’s there running the show now? Or are you scheming something?"

  "Both.”

  He sighs heavily. "I told you to let her go, Jax. I know you still love her…"

  "I came to get even with her," I cut him off. I’m not ready to throw around that word. Love is a mixed-up emotion. One I refuse to dig into right now, but I do care, and I’m going to help her take care of her father once and for all.

  "Get. Out. Now." He seethes out each word individually. “You don’t need to be caught up in that mess.”

  He sounds just like River.

  "But I'm not doing that anymore."

  "Good. Now get your job back with Liam and get out of Dolson Investments. Immediately."

  "Dad, I have a chance to get even with Jeff. She told me what happened the day she left. This is bigger than I thought, and honestly, I’m not going down without fighting."

  "Jaxson, damnit, you don't need to be mixed up with what is going down there."

  "I do for her. Who's going to protect her?”

  As much as she thinks she can play this game by herself, she needs someone else in her corner. Sam isn’t enough to help fight the bastard. Jeff Graham has done one hell of a number on River for the last two years. Hell, her whole life. I’ve only spent two days with her, and I can see how much of the self-confidence she had built back up while we were together wiped away. She shouldn’t have to suffer and fight this alone.

  “You of all people deserve justice from that asshole."

  "I understand, but I don’t think it’s a good idea."

  "Do you know something?"

  He clears his throat. "No, but when it comes to that bastard nothing good happens. River made her bed."

  "She did it for Scarlet and for me. For you. Her dad threatened to blackmail us and have us thrown in jail. And in doing so, we would have left Scarlet alone with no way to get treatments. I'm sure we could have fought if she told me, but she's deathly scared of the man. She always has been, and I'm an idiot thinking she would have left me for him."

  “She gave you your ring back, divorced you, and you thought she’d left for London. She shattered you. On purpose. You were blinded by pain, and I think you might still be. I'm not sure you know what you’re doing or getting into. Its why I’d like you not involved. Let her handle this."

  "No, I’m not going to let her handle this. And wait. How do you know she didn’t go to London?"

  “What?"

  "You said thought she’d left. I didn’t mention to you she didn’t leave. Dad, if you fucking know something…"

  "I'm speaking metaphorically. I don’t know what she did or didn’t do. And you shouldn’t either.”

  “Dad. She needs my help. She’s trying to act all tough and shit, but she’s crumbling under this weight. I didn’t protect her the first time. It’s my time now.”

  “Are you ready for all that. You might find yourself disappointed again or worse. I don’t want that for you, Jaxson.”

  “I guess it’s another risk I have to fucking take. I’m not letting her do this shit alone.”

  He’s quiet for a moment, and I can picture the old man leaning back in his recliner, pinching his nose. “Alright. I guess I can’t stop you at this point. Just fucking be careful.”

  After I hang up with my father, I can’t help but wonder what the fuck he isn’t telling me.

  CHAPTER NINE

  RIVER

  "You look different," Luna muses as she hands me a coffee. The rich aroma of the Colombian roast and pumpkin (a flavor I have to have year-round) hits my nose, preparing me to get ready to talk about what’s on today’s agenda.

  "Different how?" I glance down at my outfit, wondering what's odd about my normal business attire. I then fluff my hair, knowing I didn’t do anything different with it this morning.

  Luna laughs as she sits in the chair in front of my desk. "I mean happy, different. It’s the first time I've seen you come into this office with a smile on your face."

  "Oh. That." I take a sip of my coffee, trying to contain my overzealous grin. Especially when I think about how sore I am after all the getting reacquainted sex Jaxson and I had this weekend.

  "Yeah. That. Would that have anything to do with a certain Jaxson in the house now?"

  "It might." I pinch my lips together and feel my cheeks heat.

  "What happened to you wanting him to hate you?"

  "I listened to you and told him what really happened that day."

  "And then he said he still loved you and you him?" she squeals, bouncing in her seat. I roll my eyes at her sheer giddiness. The girl spends way too much time with her nose in mushy romance novels.

  "No. Nothing like that. Calm down. It was more skin slapping and ‘ahhs’ than anything."

  Luna hoots. "I'm not sure which is better. But are you back together?"

  "I think so? I don't know. It's kind of unspoken." He's still my husband, so can there really be any other way but for us to be together?

  "What are you not telling me?" She points her perfectly manicured finger at me.

  God, when did she become such a nosey detective?

  "Nothing," I say quickly and cover my face behind the coffee mug.

  I haven't told Luna that Jaxson and I are still married. I figured the fewer people that overheard the information, the better chance of it not getting back to my father.

  "Hmm. Has anyone told you, you suck at lying?”

  All the time. Especially from my husband. I need to work on my poker face.

  "Actually, I hear it a lot," I chuckle. "But I'm good at it when it matters."

  Luna's mouth opens, about to dive into more questions I’m sure, when my office door slams open. Her head spins to the fuming figure in a slim fitting tan suit standing in the door frame. Harry's eyes shoot little fireballs at us.

  What's his problem now?

  "Ms. Grant, I need to speak to my fiancée. Now,” he snaps, glaring at me the whole time, trying to intimidate me.

  "We were in the middle of something, Harry. Can’t this wait?" I lean back in my chair, trying to appear bored by his irritated appearance.

  "Your idle gossip can wait till after office hours. We will talk now. Ms. Grant, leave." His sharp gaze snaps to her menacingly, and I can see the nervous goosebumps rise on Luna's arm. She looks to me anxiously, and I nod, telling her it’s okay to go.

  "We'll talk later," I tell her, and Luna mouths her apology as she scoots out of the room and out of the line of fire. Harry's rotten, angry gaze is now blazing at me as she disappears. "What can I help you with, Harry?"

  "Where have you been?" Harry growls, slamming the door behind him as he storms over to me. The happy bubble I was in from this weekend has officially popped.

  "Why?"

  "Excuse me?"

  "Why do you care? We didn't have any events where I was required to be your arm candy, so I spent the weekend doing what I wanted."

  His eyes widen, and I know I've taken him by surprise. I don't talk back to him, at least not straight forward like this. After confessing everything to Jaxson, the heavy weight that was on my shoulders is gone, and there's a part of the old River breaking through.

  I hope.

  "You picked up quite the mouth while you were gone. Guess I need to have your new friends vetted."

  "No new friends. Just sun and fresh air."

  "Then I’ll be sure to keep you locked away to prevent you from g
etting any of that when you become my bride," he grits out between his teeth.

  I already figured you would, dear.

  "I called you several times this weekend. There's a huge issue with Donald Myers. He refuses to sign on with me on this investment and wants to meet with you. "

  Alarm bells are going off in my head, and I smell a giant rat. Only a week ago, he didn’t want me to have anything to do with Donald Myers, which meant only one thing. This was going to be a dirty investment piled onto the pounds of my father’s other schemes. I’ll definitely have to get Sam and Jax to look further into this.

  "Well, Donald Myers is your thing. Not mine. Maybe he has his reasons for not wanting to.” Like he smells the evil stink coming off you as much as I can.

  He licks his lips and inches closer to me. I scoot back in my chair, knowing he's coming for me. "I'm really not in the mood for you, River."

  "Then leave."

  His hand slams down on my desk, making everything rattle. "I'm going to have to have a talk with your father about this new attitude. It wasn’t part of the deal.”

  “If you can’t handle mood swings and sass then you shouldn't be getting married. Maybe you should call off the deal.”

  “You would like that, wouldn’t you?”

  “I would.” I smirk, and he lifts me from my chair and slams me against my desk.

  “I wish your dad would drown you in the river.”

  “Oh, good one.” I laugh, trying to ignore the pain of his fingers in my arms and the edge of my desk jabbing into my ass.

  “You fuckin…”

  My office door crashes open, and Jaxson's voice penetrates the room. "What the hell are you doing to her?"

  Harry looks over his shoulder, glancing at Jaxson and Sam who is standing beside him. Harry doesn't release me, in fact, his fingers dig deeper into my arms.

  Lovely, now I’ll have a whole new collection of bruises to go with the others.

  "This is between me and my fiancée. What gives you the right to barge into this office?"

  "We have a meeting. Why don't you release her? I don't care if she's your fiancée or not," Jaxson argues, his eyes searching mine, wordlessly asking if I’m okay. I give him a tiny nod, to tell him I’m fine.

  Harry lets me go, and I go stumbling onto my desk, the papers fly to the floor. "Who the hell are you?" Harry seethes, marching over to Jaxson.

  Oh god, this isn’t going to be good.

  "He's new." Sam steps in front of Jaxson and puts her hand on his chest keeping him from moving forward. “But he’s right about you keeping your hands off her.” She glares at Harry, and although I’m thankful for their intervention, all it’s going to do is potentially ruin everything we’ve been working on by pissing off Harry more.

  "Can you two give us a moment?" I ask, knowing I need to cool the situation down. Jaxson doesn’t need to give away who he is. It would only take a second for Harry to start digging if this gets worse.

  Jaxson's jaw ticks, and he’s doing his best not to say anything. I promised him only last night that I could handle Harry and here he is walking in on it.

  "Sure, we'll wait outside, Ms. Graham," Sam says with a fake smile and yanks Jaxson out with her. The heat from Jaxson’s anger still circles the room. I’m not sure whose is more vehement, Jaxson’s or Harry’s. I notice Sam leaves the door cracked.

  "Who the hell is the punk? Didn't think we hired people with noticeable tattoos."

  "He's the best in his field."

  "He should be fired for running his mouth. What's his name?"

  "Um…Darren Stevens.” The name spills out of my mouth. I hope he doesn’t catch my Bewitched reference, but it’s the first thing that came to mind with Jaxson’s mother’s maiden name and Sam. “Listen, I'll handle it."

  "You better. If he ever runs his mouth to me again, he’ll be out more than a job. It’s bad enough I have to deal with you."

  Back at you.

  "Got it."

  “Now, let's talk about Donald. I need you to come down in two hours to meet with him and sign off on some papers.”

  “Can’t I look over the information first? I’m not signing shit without knowing what it is.”

  Fuck if I’m getting my name all over one of his crooked deals. There’s a lot that goes on here that isn’t all a scheme of my father’s, but I never know what these two have planned to try and put on me if they wanted to.

  “You don't need to look at it. This won’t be your problem in a couple of months.”

  “But it’s my problem now. I'm not putting my name on shit if I don’t like it. I’ve told you this. I don’t care what you and my father do behind closed doors, but I’m not getting mixed up in it.”

  “You’ll be there, princess, with a fucking smile on.”

  “Give me the papers. Or handle it yourself."

  "If we lose this fucking investment because of you…" His nostrils flare, and he looks ready to charge me, but I’m not giving in to this. No matter what he does.

  "Why would you? I'm an ice princess, remember? You've been handling everything fine without me."

  “You stupid…” He pounds his fist on my desk, snarling like a bull. “This isn’t the end of it.” He snarls before spinning on his heel and storming out of my office. I fall back into my chair, taking a deep cleansing breath, knowing I won this battle. For now.

  I have this under control just fine.

  I’m reaching for my now cold coffee when my door flies open to reveal my stewing husband and best analyst. Jax stands in front of my desk, crossing his arms, looking down at me. The difference between Harry trying to intimidate me and Jaxson is that when Jaxson does it, there’s no evil behind it, there’s only concern behind his hazel eyes, just wanting answers. I know I’m safe, and his stare alone makes my panties wet.

  Jax makes that navy-blue Kenneth Cole Suit look good with the way his muscles ripple in the jacket, but I prefer what’s underneath. If Sam wasn’t with him, and Harry wasn’t in the building, I would request as the CEO that he take the damn thing off, so we could duel this out in another way.

  Alright, shake it off River, back to the problem at hand.

  I lean forward and rest my elbows on my desk, ready to argue with my sexy hothead. “Didn’t Luna tell you I was busy before you came plowing in here?”

  “She said you were in here with him, and that he was pissed. Did you really think I was going to let you be alone with the prick if I don’t have to? What I really want to do is kill him. Nobody would fucking miss him."

  I want to jump up and give the man a hug. He cares about me when he doesn’t have to. Not after everything I’ve done. But even if his heart is in the right place, and does it feel good, he has to control himself while he’s here, or what we’re all doing is going to be for nothing.

  "You should've knocked, Jax. You're supposed to be keeping a low profile."

  "I don't fucking care, River. I told you, I wouldn’t care if I still hated you his fucking hands don’t belong on you."

  "I told you I can take care of myself."

  "Tell that to the new bruises on your arms," he sneers, and I protectively wrap my arms around myself, wanting to hide further, as if the marks are glaring through my shirt.

  "Jaxson, please. He'll get what's coming to him."

  "This is bullshit," Jaxson yells, slamming his fist onto my desk, the loud bang makes me jump. I know he wouldn’t hurt me in a million years, but my frayed nerves are hanging on to the end of their rope, and the last thing I want to deal with is Jaxson’s temper.

  “Jaxson, calm down.” Sam puts her hands on his shoulders, trying to coax him. He shakes her off and glares down at me.

  "I don't care what you're trying to do, Rivs. I'm not standing by idly watching that shit happen to you."

  "It could be worse. He doesn't punch me or backhand me.” That’s saved for my father only.

  “Not yet. How do you know he won’t start forcing himself on you, River? I’m surprised h
e hasn’t.”

  “That’s because he has other women to fill his needs. Don’t worry about that. He won’t.”

  Jaxson scoffs, and I can feel the temperature rise in the room again. “Men like that don’t stop at just roughing you up a bit. You know this. Maybe it’s time for you to stop playing the hero, River. Let the FBI come in and handle it. You’re going to end up getting hurt, especially if you don’t succeed.”

  Why doesn’t he understand I have to do this? That my dad has to pay for everything that he has done to me. For what he did to my mom? For what he’s done to everyone. That this is my fight.

  “I was fine before you came back, and I would have been fine if you didn’t. I can handle this, Jaxson. I don’t need to be babysat,” I huff, grabbing the edge of my desk. For once I want someone to have a little faith in me.

  “Should I leave then since you don’t seem to need me?”

  My heart twists at his words, and I’m hit with the hard realization that our biggest battle might not be my father, but our past heartache.

  “No. I’m not saying that I don’t need or want you, Jaxson, and you know it.” I turn my head, needing to look away from him before I lose it. “I need you to trust me that I have this under control, and I’m not going to stop till my dad goes down. I don’t care what happens to me in the meantime. He will pay.”

  “Hey, why don’t we start working on what we came in here for?” Sam asks, trying to referee the situation. “You don’t need to have a lover's quarrel in the middle of the office. You know this place has ears everywhere.”

  “She’s right,” I say, and Jaxson clutches his fist, desperate to argue with me. “You came here to fight. I’m not backing down if you’re not either.”

  “Sam, can you give us a moment?” Jaxson glances over at her, urging her to leave, and Sam flutters her eyes in return.

  “One moment.” She holds up her finger and looks sternly at both of us. I love her because she’s the mama bear I need even when I don’t know I need it. “Then we need to get to work.”

  She leaves, this time closing the door behind her, leaving us alone.

  “What is it that you want, Jaxson? Because I don’t want this to be an ongoing fight with you. I know you care and I love that. It’s just he took two years of my life. I was basically a prisoner. I have this freedom now. In a way, I’m finally being trusted by my father by being left alone and not followed everywhere I go. I need to do this. Why can’t you get that? That this isn’t all about YOU?” I yell the last thing, and tears sting my eyes.