The Changing Light at Sandover

by James Merrill

  That sort of thing puts noses out of joint?

  ALL IS NOT FOR ALL WHY THEN COMMUNICATE? WHY THE CHANCE

  MEETING IN THE FIELD? WE NEED SPOKESMEN WE NEED TO AFFECT

  MINDS FOR AS U KNOW, TO CREATE OR TO SIMPLY HAVE A

  BEAUTIFUL REALIZATION & NOT TO SHARE IT IS

  THE STUFF OF GRIEVING. THERE! BY NOW IN IMAGINATION

  OUR PATIENT IS FAR AWAY HIS TV GLOWS TILL ALL HOURS

  HIS CHART IS NORMAL. SO NOW WE APPROACH THE LAST BUT ONE

  MY DEARS AM I UP TO IT? LET’S SEE:

  U ARE U & WE ARE WE

  And? That’s the first line—what comes after? THAT’S

  IT: INTRODUCTION Oh. Have those censor bats

  Disappeared by now? 2 LAST ONES GLOWER

  SOUTHWEST & NORTHEAST THESE WILL I FANCY SEE

  US THRU OUR LESSONS FOR THEY HAVE THE LOOK

  OF BEING TOP BRASS IN THE HIERARCHY,

  FRIGHTFULLY UP ON THINGS Graves claims there were

  Not seven Titans but fourteen. MY DEAR

  CAN ONE TRUST POOR RG? A USEFUL HACK

  BUT HIS WHITE GODDESS? WE REMAIN I FEAR

  IN A MALE WORLD DESPITE HIS DRUDGERY:

  SO WISE OF HOMER JUST TO HAVE SAT BACK

  What else is new? MM’S CREAM ROBE A RED

  TINGED CAMELLIA THESE LAST 8 DAYS RELEASE

  US FROM THE SALT MINES Getting what instead?

  PEACE IT’S RATHER CHARMING ACTUALLY

  Have you seen Chester? DIDN’T I SAY PEACE?

  8.8

  Tap on the door and in strolls Robert Morse,

  Closest of summer friends in Stonington.

  (The others are his Isabel, of course,

  And Grace and Eleanor—to think what fun

  We’ve had throughout the years on Water Street…)

  He, if no more the youthful fifty-one

  Of that first season, ’s no less the complete

  Amateur. Fugue by fugue Bach’s honeycomb

  Drips from his wrists—then, whoops! the Dolly Suite.

  He’s painted us beneath a stained-glass dome,

  Six pensive posers, to commemorate

  Our “Surly Temple”. Sonnets dated “Rome,

  Djerba, Minorca, 1928”

  Exhale, like smelling salts, their timeless blue-

  Period feelings. Wystan saw one late

  Tour de force by Robert, and asked to

  Include it in A Certain World—q.v.,

  Under Spoonerisms. Much of this is true.

  True also, faced with a complacency

  Laid light as silver leaf upon nightmare,

  Is that his life is over. Liver, knee,

  Bulge of bloodshot eye, fallout of hair…

  And yet he “knows”. And this is what we need:

  Someone on Earth to take our straightest chair

  And speak of Mirabell (we’ve let him read

  Our talks to date) with soothing if perplexed

  Comprehension: “Ephraim had to lead

  Precisely here”—tapping the monstrous text,

  Raw revelation typed to maximum

  Illegibility. “Ah, lads, it’s taxed

  My venerable beads. Me giddy fwom

  Uppercut of too much upper case.

  (A weak one, if you please. Most kind. Yum-yum.)

  Everything in Dante knew its place.

  In this guidebook of yours, how do you tell

  Up from down? Is Heaven’s interface

  What your new friends tactfully don’t call Hell?

  Splendid as metaphor. The real no-no

  Is jargon, falling back on terms that smell

  Just a touch fishy when the tide is low:

  ‘Molecular structures’—cup and hand—obey

  ‘Electric waves’? Don’t dream of saying so!

  —So says this dinosaur whom Chem 1A

  Thrilled, sort of. Even then I put the heart

  Before the course…” And at the door: “Today

  We celebrate Maria’s Himmelfahrt

  And yours. You’re climbing, do you know how high?

  While tiny me, unable to take part,

  Waves you onward. Don’t look down. Goodbye.”

  —Answered with two blithe au reservoirs,

  He’s gone. Our good friend. As it strikes me, my

  Head is in my hands. I’m seeing stars.

  8.9

  OUR CIRCLE CHARMED BY RM DID I HEAR

  SOME E F BENSON BABYTALK? Indeed!

  (Alluding to the novels we reread—

  And reenact—each summer.) HE’LL FIT RIGHT

  IN & SOON. Ah, don’t! MME IN WHITE

  TRIMMED WITH EMBROIDERIES BLUE GREEN YELLOW RED

  SO LIKE THE LOVELY TITIAN IN THE FRARI

  In Venice, of the cherub-wafted Virgin

  God waits with open arms for. DEAR ENFANTS

  NEARLY AFLOAT TODAY ONE BARE TOEHOLD

  Your name day! Ah Maria, we’re such dolts.

  Not until Robert mentioned it— SHAPE UP

  MY DEARS JUST FANCY HAVING TO BE TOLD

  AT THIS LATE DATE ABOUT THE MOLECULES!

  WHATEVER DID THEY TEACH U IN YR SCHOOLS?

  2: WE MET ON THIS FAIR FIELD & SEEM BY ITS EASE TO BE

  IN CONVERSE YET WE ARE ALL THE DEAD & YOU THE LIVING.

  THAT U DO NOT DOUBT US IS WONDER ENOUGH THAT OTHERS

  DO IS NONE THEY & U SHARE A DAILY LIFE WHOSE DEMANDS

  LIKE USEFUL PIECES OF FURNITURE FILL THE LIVING ROOM

  & OUR GREAT ORNAMENTAL & BIZARRE OBJECT HARDLY

  ABLE TO BE GOT THRU THE DOOR IS IF NOT LAUGHABLE

  AT THE LEAST ODD TO HOUSE YET U HOUSE US FOR ALL THAT WE

  DO LITTLE BUT TAKE UP YR ROOM THIS IS DO U NOT GRANT

  RECKLESS? BUT BELIEVE ME MORE RECKLESS OF US TO MOVE IN,

  FOR HOUSES OF THE LIVING CHANGE WITH A SPEED WE DO NOT

  KNOW AT ANY MOMENT WE CAN BE EVICTED THE DOOR

  SLAMMD BEHIND US THIS U MIGHT THINK WD LEAVE US NO WORSE OFF

  THAN B4, BUT MARK THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU & US:

  YOU DAILY USE & SHUFFLE OFF YR CELLS WE DO NOT WE

  ACCUMULATE THRU YOU A KNOWLEDGE THAT MUST HENCEFORTH BE

  PART OF US IN A REALM BEYOND THE GREAT GOLDFRAMED MIRROR

  ITS SILVER FIELD FILLD WITH THE OBJECTS OF YR ATTENTION

  LIKE A DAILY FEAST & IF YOU HAVE WONDERD WHY WE COME

  & MORE, WHY ONE OF THE WHITE SHD RISK HIMSELF: YR FIELD IS

  YES A KIND OF ANCHOR POINT OF HEAVEN. O SCRIBE, O HAND

  U HAVE PAID YR DUES AGAIN & AGAIN FOR WHO LIVING

  WELCOMES THE DEAD? & YR ATTENTION THAT OPULENT FEAST

  HAS NOT BEEN OVERSPICED WITH SELF NOR THE BRIGHT FIELD PITTED

  WITH YR OWN NEEDS LIKE OTHER FIELDS WE HAVE SETTLED INTO:

  CRIES OF HURRAH HURRAH THEY HAVE COME! & HARDLY HAD WE

  FOLDED OUR MANY WINGS THAN SMALL GREEDY HANDS PLUCKD AT US

  SAYING: WHAT OF TOMORROW? WHAT OF AUNT MIN? WHERE IS THE

  BURIED TREASURE? & O LEAVE BEHIND THE FEATHER OF PROOF!

  You overestimate us. I at least have

  Longed for that feather on occasion, knowing

  Deep down that one must never ask for it.

  WELL WE HAVE GIVEN FEATHERS B4, OR LEFT THEM BEHIND

  IN OUR HASTE TO LEAVE & LEFT ALSO MANY A MIRROR

  SHATTERD & MIND WRECKD DULLD WIT THE CHEAP NOTORIETY

  BUT
WE & YOU WE & YOU MOVE IN OUR FIELD TOGETHER

  (THERE! STITCHES OUT WHERE THE SCAR’S LIPS MEET INVISIBLY) AH

  WITH WHAT REGRET THAT WE CAN NEVER SAY: CAREFUL DEAR FRIENDS

  DO NOT TAKE THAT FALSE STEP! OR IN ANY WAY PROTECT U

  WHO ARE OUR LOVED ONES WD THAT WE CD LEAD U TO THAT LOST

  VERMEER THAT MANUSCRIPT OF MOZART OR LEAVE U SIMPLY

  A LITTLE GLOWING MEDAL STRUCK IN HEAVEN SAYING: TRUE

  Dear Mirabell, words fail us. How banal

  Our lives would be, how shrunken, but for you.

  9

  NO VEIL REMAINS (OR ONLY ONE)

  TO SCREEN OUR SENSES FROM THE SUN

  SO LEAVE BEHIND THE SAND & A(U)NTS

  & LET US FROLIC AT THE FEAST

  TILL TWILIGHT RINGED WITH BIRD & BEAST

  IN SILVER FIELD OR GREEN PLESAUNCE

  BESPEAK YOUR SILENCE, GENTLE TASK

  MASTER OF THE MINIMASQUE

  Enchanting, Wystan. So today’s the picnic

  Mirabell promised before Lesson One.

  HARDBOILED SAINTS & SACK RACES MME

  FROM NOW ON ALL IN GRADUATION WHITE

  A JULEP? Just a drop of rum in the cup

  To clear our heads for questions. I ENFANTS

  WONDER ABOUT THOSE SAINTS Now that you’re all but

  Turning into one yourself? WE FEEL

  THEIR PRESENCE HERE: STRANGE PRIVILEGED POSITIONS

  RATHER LIKE PRIZE CABANAS ON THE BEACH

  OF THE FAITH IN QUESTION ASK IF

  HERE HE COMES

  REELING UNDER A HAMPER FULL OF GOODIES

  GIVEN THE CHANCE WD I NOT EAT A PEACH!

  BRIGHT SHINING WEATHER ON THE FIELD ALL SO SPORTIF! ?S

  About the saints?

  THEY ARE JUDGED HERE IN ACCORDANCE TO WHAT ACTUAL USE

  THEY PUT THEIR LIVES TO: A CAMBODIAN PEASANT GIRL WHO

  (NO REFLECTION ON YR OWN ACHIEVEMENT ALONG THESE LINES)

  TRANSFORMD A SNAKE INTO A DOVE GOT HER ROUND OF APPLAUSE

  & SMACK BANG BACK INTO LIFE, THO VENERATED STILL IN

  HER MOUNTAIN VILLAGE. ONCE A YEAR SINCE, NO MATTER WHO OR

  WHERE SHE IS ON THE OCCASION OF HER BIRTH INTO THAT

  SPECIAL LIFE, SHE FEELS A PECULIAR EXALTATION,

  GETS WHAT WHA CALLS UPPITY & IS SENT TO BED

  OR NOT DEPENDING ON HER AGE SO MUCH FOR MINOR SAINTS.

  OUR LUCA IS ANOTHER MATTER HIS VILLAGE BEING

  MILAN & HIS RITES LOUDER & ODDER, HE HAS HIS NICHE

  AMONG THE PATRONS

  What a kinetic power

  Those who believe in them must generate

  To bring about these high effects!

  INDEED RIGHT OUT OF THE S/O/L

  Our own

  Imagination working in the world?

  A A A PLUS & NONE OF OUR BUSINESS BUT FOR THE USE

  OF WHATEVER ELEMENTS IN THESE SAINT SOULS WE MAY NEED

  (LUCA OF NO USE BUT BETTER OFF HERE OUT OF HARM’S WAY)

  And the real saints, the great ones?

  AH THEY GO MARCHING ON Parades in Heaven?

  HEAVEN MY FRIENDS IS ODD IS BOTH

  REALITY & A FIGMENT OF IMAGINATION

  REAL FOR EACH FAITH YET AN UNFAILING SURPRISE FOR THE DEAD:

  A SPACE? A VOID? A FORCE? RATHER AS WHA FIRST SAID

  A NEW MACHINE WHICH MAKES THE DEAD AVAILABLE TO LIFE.

  I SPEAK OF LAB SOULS THE REST WHOSE LIFECYCLES HAVE NOT YET

  RECLAIMD THEM FROM THE ANIMAL ARE NATURE’S AFFAIR: WE

  FEEL NO PRESSURE ON THEIR ACCOUNT

  DJ: What pressures do you feel? JM:

  What pressures doesn’t he—whole droves of them!

    WE ARE CATTLE DJ

  RUN THRU FENCES A PRESSURE NEW TO US HAS WE PRESUME

  TO DO WITH CERTAIN HIGHLY CLONED SCIENTIST SOULS WHO FORCE

  BOUNDARIES AS YET IMPERMISSIBLE FOR GOD B HOLDS

  THE SCALE: 2 GOLDEN TRAYS OF WHAT MAN CAN DO AS AGAINST

  WHAT HE CANNOT OR RATHER WHAT HE IS NOT READY FOR.

  U WILL LEARN MORE OF THIS FROM THE 12 SHALL WE NOW STEP BACK

  FOR A FURTHER PERSPECTIVE?

  U HAVE ABSORBD YR HAVING

  BEEN IN EFFECT CHOSEN & CONDITIOND U MUST BY NOW

  REALIZE THAT OVER THE HEADS OF MEN GOD HOLDS HIS HAND

  BENEVOLENTLY & HIS WARNING TO EVEN HIS WHITE

  ANGELS IS: BEHOLD THESE ARE MY OWN DARLINGS THEIR MISTAKES

  ARE NOT SUCH IN MY EYES THEY DO NOT FAIL ME TO BUILD THEIR

  PARADISE IS MY WORK DO NOT INTERFERE WITH THEIR LIVES.

  LIKE MASONS ROUND THE CATHEDRAL WE SCURRY OBEYING

  THIS EDICT, UNLESS BY THAT UNEXPLAINABLE PRESSURE

  WE ARE TOLD WE HAVE PUSHD TOO HARD AGAINST MAN’S SPIRIT. THUS

  I LIGHTLY DISSEMBLED ON THE OCCASIONS WHEN OUR TALKS

  WERE HALTED, FEIGNING TO GO OFF FOR JUDGMENT WHEN IN FACT

  I KNEW BY A PRESSURE THAT I HAD PREST TOO HARD ON YOU

  MES ENFANTS SUCH A HEAVENLY DAY The sunlight

  Fleet on the calm Sound— & OUR PULSES QUICKENED

  MY DEAR BY THE ELECTRICAL 4 FLASHES

  OF YR PROEM You’ve peeked! It’s still so rough. I made

  Those photocopies for less critical

  Eyes than yours. MILD SUMMER LIGHTNING PLAYED:

  WD WE HAVE RAIN ON OUR PICNIC? THEN THE TEXT

  LAY ON OUR BEDSIDE TABLES WHAT COMES NEXT?

  ON WITH THE WORK! THRILLING FOR U JM

  9.1

  And maddening—it’s all by someone else!

  In your voice, Wystan, or in Mirabell’s.

  I want it mine, but cannot spare those twenty

  Years in a cool dark place that Ephraim took

  In order to be palatable wine.

  This book by contrast, immature, supine,

  Still kicks against its archetypal cradle

  LESS I SHD THINK BY CONTRAST THAN DESIGN?

  A MUSE IN HER RECURRENT INFANCY

  PRESIDES AS U MY DEAR WERE FIRST TO SEE:

  URANIA BABBLING ON THE THRESHOLD OF

  OUR NEW ATOMIC AGE THE LITTLE LOVE

  AT PLAY WITH WORDS WHOSE SENSE SHE CANNOT YET

  FACE LEARNING Very pretty, but I’d set

  My whole heart, after Ephraim, on returning

  To private life, to my own words. Instead,

  Here I go again, a vehicle

  In this cosmic carpool. Mirabell once said

  He taps my word banks. I’d be happier

  If I were tapping them. Or thought I were.

  YR SCRUPLES DEAR BOY ARE INCONSEQUENT

  IF I MAY SAY SO CAN U STILL BE BENT,

  AFTER OUR COURSE IN HOW TO SEE PAST LONE

  AUTONOMY TO POWERS BEHIND THE THRONE,

  ON DOING YR OWN THING: EACH TEENY BIT

  MADE PERSONAL (PARDON MME) AS SHIT?

  GRANTED THAT IN 1ST CHILDHOOD WE WERE NOT

  PRAISED ENOUGH FOR GETTING OFF THE POT

  IT’S TIME TO DO SO NOW THINK WHAT A MINOR

  PART THE SELF PLAYS IN A WORK OF ART

  COMPARED TO THOSE GREAT GIVENS THE ROSEBRICK MANOR

  ALL TOPIARY FORMS & METRICAL MOAT

  RIPPLING UNSOUNDED! FROM ANTHOLOGIZED

  PERENNIALS TO HERB GARDEN OF CLICHES

  FROM LATIN-LABELED HYBRIDS TO THE FAWN

  4 LETTER FUNGI THAT ENRICH THE LAWN,

  IS NOT ARCADIA TO DWELL AMONG

  GREENWOOD PERSPECTIVES OF THE MOTHER TONGUE

&
nbsp; ROOTSYSTEMS UNDERFOOT WHILE OVERHEAD

  THE SUN GOD SANG & SHADES OF MEANING SPREAD

  & FAR SNOWCAPPED ABSTRACTIONS GLITTERED NEAR

  OR FAIRLY MELTED INTO ATMOSPHERE?

  AS FOR THE FAMILY ITSELF MY DEAR

  JUST GAPE UP AT THAT CORONETED FRIEZE:

  SWEET WILLIAMS & FATE-FLAVORED EMILIES

  THE DOUBTING THOMAS & THE DULCET ONE

  (HARDY MY BOY WHO ELSE? & CAMPION)

  MILTON & DRYDEN OUR LONG JOHNS IN SHORT

  IN BED AT PRAYERS AT MUSIC FLUSHED WITH PORT

  THE DULL THE PRODIGAL THE MEAN THE MAD

  IT WAS THE GREATEST PRIVILEGE TO HAVE HAD

  A BARE LOWCEILINGED MAID’S ROOM AT THE TOP

  Stop! you’ve convinced me. Better yet, don’t stop.

  I SHALL ONCE I HAVE TAKEN UP YR CHIEF

  & EARLIEST ANXIETY: BELIEF.

  FACTS JM WERE ALL U KNEW TO WANT.

  WRETCHED RICKETY RECALCITRANT

  URCHINS, THE FEW WHO LIVE GROW UP TO BE

  IMPS OF THE ANTIMASQUE RUDE SCENERY

  & GUTTURAL STOMPINGS, WHEN THE SOVEREIGN NODS,

  SOUNDLESSLY DIVIDE & HERE A TABLE

  IS SET & LAMPS LIT FOR THE FEASTING GODS

  OBERON’S COURT (OR MY FRIEND’S CAVE) APPEARS.

  THE ELDER FACTS IN LIVERY OF FABLE

  HAVE JOINED THE DANCE FOR FACT IS IS IS FABLE:

  THIS IS OUR GIFT FROM MIRABELL MY DEARS

  9.2

  ON WITH THE FLOATING PICNIC Floating? WE

  ARE BEING NUMERAL BY NUMERAL

  CUT LOOSE OUR DRIFT IS UPWARD OUR RELEASE

  IMMINENT SOME SALAD? SALAD DAYS

  Maman, did he make sense about the saints?

  You’re given glimpses? You’ve heard Francis preach?

  IF ONE CAN HEAR FOR ALL THE CHIRPS & TWITTERS

  No, but I mean— IT SEEMS E HAD IT RIGHT:

  ‘POWER KICKS UPSTAIRS’ those who possess it. QUITE

  & I FOR ONE WD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT EPHRAIM’S

  PART IN ALL THIS IS WHY HE FOR U?