The Forever Gift

by Donna K. Weaver

  Rae was standing in the bedroom doorway, still holding Beth, when Dylan turned around with Jayden in his arms.

  “I won’t be troubling you anymore.”

  “No, please, Dylan. Not like this,” she whispered as he brushed past her.

  He paused but didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t say anything. He went down Rae’s apartment stairs and out her door.

  Out of her life.

  Still in shock, Rae stared at the empty bedroom doorway. Beth stirred, pulling Rae back to herself. She took her daughter to her bedroom and settled her for the night.

  Rae slowly made her way downstairs to check the door. Of course Dylan had locked it. Even in his anger and frustration, he’d never do anything to put her and the children in danger.

  Numbly, she sank onto the couch. She put a hand to her lips and could still smell his aftershave. After all this time, she’d given in and kissed him. It had been amazing. Dylan had said he loved her, wanted to marry her. The memory of the expression on his face twisted her heart.

  He’d also said he couldn’t just be her friend. Had he meant it? Would he refuse her friendship if she couldn’t give him more?

  More. How she wanted a world where there could be more between them. What was she going to do? Dylan Rademaker, with her children, was the center of her life. How could she carry on without him?

  A sense of loss as powerful as the one she’d experienced a year ago when Mike had died threatened to overwhelm her. Rae leaned over on the couch and cried.

  14

  “My lease is up next month, so I think it’s time to look for a different apartment,” Dylan said to Amelia, trying to sound casual as they put together the lunch trays for the August birthdays in the staff break room.

  “What are you talking about?” she asked, disbelieving. “Is Rae moving too?”

  “No.”

  “Then why would you move?” Amelia turned to face him.

  “Because I blabbed it all yesterday.” Dylan still felt sick about it, but he knew it had to be this way. “And Rae rejected me.”

  “What?” Amelia took his arms and stared into his face as though she thought he were lying to her. “There’s no way she turned you down.”

  “Believe me,” he said, his voice flat. “She did.”

  “But I don’t understand.” Amelia dropped her hands, her expression troubled. “She’s in love with you, Dylan. I know it.”

  “She is; she told me so.”

  “Then how can she have said no?”

  “Because she’s never going to marry anybody,” Jason Lee said as he entered the room followed by a man Dylan didn’t recognize. Lee shrugged. “Sorry, man. I didn’t mean to intrude, but this is kind of important stuff. Let me introduce a friend of mine. His name is Tim Gallo. I used to date his sister. He knows Rae.”

  “You’re that Tim?” Dylan asked, tilting his head to study the man.

  “What do you mean that Tim?” Amelia asked.

  “Rae’s gone out with him a few times.” Dylan had to work to keep the bitterness from his voice. “She’s enjoyed your dates. I hope you’re not getting too attached to her though.”

  Watching with interest, Lee leaned against the counter and stole one of the carrots from the vegetable tray. Amelia smacked his hand. For the first time, Dylan wished Mr. G. had announced to the staff about the ownership change that was in the works. Maybe Lee wouldn’t be looking so smug if he knew his job could be on the line.

  “We’re only friends,” Tim said, studying Dylan. “Have you ever heard of Dr. Aurora?”

  “Oh, no,” Amelia said with a groan.

  “Who’s she?” Dylan asked.

  “An advice radio host,” Amelia said. “She’s a licensed therapist, and her show is syndicated. I’ve listened to her a few times, but I’m not a fan. She’s a little too rigid on a lot of issues. One thing she’s firm on is that people with children who find themselves single again shouldn’t get involved until after their children are grown.”

  “That.” The Tim guy nodded. “Rae told me this Dr. Aurora said most of the dangers for abused or murdered children came from new boyfriends or spouses. This doctor lady says children have the right to a good home where they’re loved and are the center of attention. A new man or woman in the home puts that in danger. Rae said that’s why she wouldn’t let another man into her life. She was quite emphatic about it when she mentioned it to me.”

  “Why were you talking marriage to her?” Dylan asked, fighting against his rising jealousy.

  “Rae brought it up on our first date. She said she wanted to set expectations up front,” Tim said simply.

  “She mentioned it to me too,” Lee said.

  How had Rae discussed this with two men but never once with Dylan? He felt betrayed.

  “Oh, get off your high horse,” the salesman said. “She only told me because she wanted to hassle me about flirting with a lot of women but never having a girlfriend. Rae was trying to mother me. I have my own issues, man, and I know it.” Lee’s expression turned troubled. “She actually painted a pretty gruesome picture for me as an old man.”

  “Did she?” Amelia asked, her brows raised in that nosy way she had.

  “Don’t go there, but thank you very much for your interest,” Lee’s tone had turned sarcastic. He turned to Dylan. “While Tim and I were headed to lunch, we realized we both knew Rae.”

  “Why were you talking about her?” Dylan asked, crossing his arms.

  The usual smug expression Lee wore around Dylan disappeared. “I happened to mention I have a coworker who was in love with a widow who listened to Dr. Aurora. Tim made the connection.”

  “Am I that obvious?” Dylan growled.

  “I watch people more than most,” Lee said. “I did it first because, to be honest, I was a little jealous you were able to get close to the widow, and I wasn’t. Not that I was interested in anything more than casual dating, but you two did everything together. Tim, here, thought you should know.”

  “Thank you,” Dylan said, surprised. “Rae never mentioned it to me.”

  “Or me. I wonder why that is,” Amelia said with a grin. “She tells you everything, but she kept this one thing back. What we need to do is convince her you’re not a danger to her kids.”

  “A danger to her kids? Are you kidding me?” Dylan cried, more than a little insulted. “If she were really worried about me then why has she trusted me to tend her children all these months?”

  “And that, my friend, is the question of the century. How can you convince a woman who’s so protective of her kids yet has you there almost from the start supporting her and treating her little ones like his own?” Lee rolled his eyes. “I’ve never met a woman who was so intense when it came to her offspring. I think it’s an admirable quality. All you have to do is figure out how to get around mama bear. Come on, Tim.” He snatched another carrot and jumped out of the way of Amelia’s swing.

  “Good luck,” Tim said as he followed Jason to the door. “Rae’s always spoken very highly of you.”

  Dylan rubbed his face. How was he supposed to get past this vow Rae had apparently made to herself?

  “For now, don’t look at another apartment,” Amelia said. “I do think it might not be a bad idea for you to make yourself scarce. I’ve mentioned before you’re her go-to person whenever she needs something. She’s come to rely on you, and I think she’s taking you for granted. It’s easy to consider being alone for the next decade, when she’s got you there filling her emotional needs.”

  “I’m not comfortable playing her,” Dylan said, his tone flat.

  “You’ve made your feelings known, and you told me she rejected you. Rae cannot possibly believe everything will go on the way it has in the past. All I’m saying is she needs to realize you’re not going to be there at the drop of a hat like you have been. You’ve removed yourself from the friend-zone.” Amelia tapped the counter, contemplative.

  “I love those kids like my own. I won
’t make them suffer because their mother and I disagree. I’ll be there for them as long as I can.”

  “As long as you can?”

  “Rae has no obligation to let me see them.”

  “True that,” Amelia said with a wince. “I was right about her being in love with you. I’d never have guessed Rae had martyr tendencies, but we’ll figure out a way to make this work. She needs to understand she’s not the only one who loves those kids and would do anything for them. We have to help her understand she can trust her own ability to judge your character and doesn’t have to rely on that Dr. Aurora who’s never met you.”

  “You don’t have a problem with me still being there for the kids?”

  “While being aloof with her?” Amelia tapped her chin. “You don’t want to make it look like you’re obviously punishing her, but you did say you couldn’t go on like you have been. I think you need to hold to that, so maybe see her kids but not as often. I know you and Mr. G. have been working on something.” She looked at Dylan expectantly, but he didn’t say anything, so she continued. “You can be busy with that stuff and back off from those things you and she have been doing together. If you happen to take Jayden to the park, you can invite her kids.”

  “But not her,” Dylan said with a nod. “No more weekend breakfasts or movie nights or grocery shopping or any of the other family life things we’ve been doing for months.”

  “Exactly. If you need a babysitter for Jayden, give me a call.”

  “I’m done with the dating thing.”

  “Not quite yet.”

  “I told you I’m not going to play her. Trying to make her jealous would be playing her.” Dylan heaved out a breath.

  “I’m not saying you should make her jealous by pretending to have a girlfriend,” Amelia said, patting him on the arm. “I like you all the better, Dylan Rademaker, that you wouldn’t do that to Rae. I do think she needs to believe you’re trying to move on. You need to stand by what you told her—things can’t go on the way they have. I believe she’ll come to understand not only what she’s missing for herself but also for her children.”

  “I guess I can do that. Mr. G.’s been pressuring me to take on more. He’ll be happy.”

  “What’s that all about anyway?” she asked again.

  Dylan shrugged like he always did when she asked him about it.

  “Fine then. I’ll make sure to drop a few subtle hints about Dr. Aurora when I think Rae’s listening. That she’s not mentioned this to me makes me think she’d know I wouldn’t approve. I’ll have to see what I can find out online about this Dr. Aurora’s advice.” Amelia winked at him. “Now off with you until the party this afternoon.”

  Dylan headed out to his truck, feeling hopeful for the first time since Rae had pushed him away.

  15

  As Rae decorated Preston’s birthday cake, she mourned. She’d discovered Dylan to be true to his words. In the week since their declarations, he’d turned back into the friendly, considerate man she’d known before he’d moved next door. Simply a coworker and a neighbor whose nephew sometimes played with her children.

  She’d cried herself to sleep the night Dylan had declared himself. His ominous words had become a reality. Since they’d started with the dating site, she’d worried he’d get involved with someone, and she’d lose him. If he had met someone else, she’d told herself, there’d be time to prepare herself for the loss. Rae had never considered she might drive him away.

  Mr. G. had started having Dylan stay later in the evenings. Rae expected them to make the announcement of the sale any day. She’d thought he’d ask her to watch Jayden on those evenings, but he either had his babysitter or Amelia watch the little boy instead.

  Her little family missed seeing Dylan and Jayden. Beth haunted the front door, jiggling the handle. It made Rae think of last fall. The Littles had kept going back-and-forth between the two apartments and forgetting to close the doors. To keep Beth from tumbling down the stairs, Dylan had gotten permission to install a safety gate at the top.

  Rae assessed the fondant and decided it was the right thickness. Beth squealed in the living room, and Preston shouted at her. Rae stepped into the room, and her son ducked his head.

  “Why are you so cross today?” she asked him.

  “I miss Jayden,” he said dolefully.

  “I want Dillie.” Beth started to cry.

  “Oh, baby, I know.” Rae lifted her daughter and hugged her. “He has to work today.”

  “But it’s my birthday.” Preston leaned his head against Rae’s leg.

  “I know, sweetheart.” Rae’s eyes stung. “Jayden’s grandpa took him to the water park today.” She wouldn’t have let Preston go with them even if Mr. Rademaker had invited her son. Which he hadn’t. “It’s a good thing for Jayden to spend time with his grandfather.”

  “Why couldn’t we go to the water park?” Preston looked at her, his expression accusatory.

  “I explained that to you already.” Rae set Beth down. “Your sister can’t go on the same rides as you, and I can’t watch the two of you by myself.”

  Every day she expected Preston, sensitive little soul that he was, to ask what was wrong. He recognized something was but simply wasn’t old enough to have the words to express his loss. Any more than he had last year when his father had died.

  Rae wished she knew what to tell him. Why had Dylan ruined everything? They’d been happy the way things were. Well, she had, but obviously he hadn’t. Now no one was.

  “I need to finish your cake,” she said. “We have a birthday party to get ready for.”

  “Yes!” Preston’s face brightened, and he jumped up and down. His sister copied him.

  “Can you and Beth pick up the balls please?”

  While the children scurried around the living room, Rae went back into the kitchen. She’d invited a few of Preston’s friends from his day care. It would only last an hour and include a few games, the cake and ice cream, and then the gift opening. It was all she could handle alone.

  By the time the last child and parent left after the party, Rae was exhausted, and her house was trashed. Preston was happy though and didn’t argue when she suggested he rest while Beth took her nap.

  As Rae cleaned, she wondered if perhaps she should look for another job and apartment. She’d chosen this complex because it had split-level apartments and was close to work. If she changed jobs, she could find somewhere closer to it.

  When Rae finished cleaning, she sat on the couch with her laptop and opened a browser. In many ways the people at GPC had become her family, especially after Mike had died. Leaving would be agony. But seeing the now-distant Dylan almost every day was too.

  Noise came from upstairs. With a sigh, Rae closed her computer and went up to Preston’s bedroom.

  “Can I have more cake?” he asked as she combed Beth’s hair back into a ponytail.

  “After dinner.”

  “Ahh,” he complained.

  “It’ll be worth the wait,” Rae said. “We’re having pizza for dinner, remember?”

  “Yum! Can we go to the play center?” Preston clasped his hands to his chest and put on his begging expression.

  Rae rolled her eyes. “Not tonight. Your party wore me out, but we can watch a movie.”

  “Okay.” His response was so glum, she wondered if he were missing Jayden again. She did too.

  As they came down the stairs there was a light tap on the front door. Preston scurried the rest of the way down.

  “Let me get it,” Rae said, hurrying after him.

  She opened the door to find Dylan standing there with Jayden. Her heart gave a happy lurch, but she forced her expression to remain calm. His usual happy personality was subdued, and she wondered if his heart ached as much as hers did.

  “You’re back,” Preston cried to Jayden. “How come I couldn’t go with you?”

  Before the little boy could do more than shrug, Beth had launched herself at Dylan.

 
“Daddy!” She wrapped her arms around his neck and snuggled her face into his shoulder.

  Dylan pulled her close and shut his eyes. When he opened them, they were moist. It made Rae’s eyes sting. He’d missed her children as much as she had Jayden.

  “Hey, little princess.” Dylan cleared his throat.

  “Did you have fun with your grandpa?” Rae asked, smoothing back a strand of Jayden’s hair.

  He nodded and clutched at her hand. “I wanted you all to come too.”

  Dylan cleared his throat. “We’re going to the park and wondered if Beth and Preston would like to come.”

  Rae didn’t miss that she wasn’t invited, and a painful knot formed in her chest.

  “Is Mama coming?” Preston asked, looking at Rae.

  “Mama has to come.” Jayden gave her a pull toward the door.

  Rae had a hard time swallowing against the lump in her throat. “Not this time. You all go have fun with Dillie.”

  Preston looked about to argue, but Dylan said, “Let’s go everyone. Jayden has a birthday present for you.” They turned and went down the stairs.

  She hurried to the balcony where she could see them. Dylan had put Beth on his shoulders, and each Little had a finger through a belt loop. Rae watched them make their way through the courtyard and out toward the playground. She hadn’t felt so alone since that awful birthday last year which had fallen on the two-month anniversary of Mike’s death.

  This was her new future. Rae went back inside and sank to the couch. Alone, exactly as she’d promised.

  16

  “Well, I know, Jasmine. She does give good advice—sometimes,” Amelia was saying as Rae entered her office. “But that woman is not the be-all and end-all on all decisions a woman should make about her life. I tell you, your friend needs to consider the quality of this man before making a decision.”

  Rae put her purse in the desk drawer and turned on her computer, wondering what trouble Jasmine’s friend was having now. The office staff had been hearing about the woman’s trials and tribulations since she’d left her husband more than a year ago.