2000 Light Years from Home (James London)

by Iain Benson

  “Third floor,” said Bonbon. “There is still the defuse mind. It suffuses everywhere, difficult to pin down.”

  The diffuse mind turned out to be a running battle. As they passed the entry to the second floor, the door burst open. Vera lifted the soldier up and hurled him back down the stairs, taking out two soldiers coming up behind them. The next one through was used to barricade the door. London looked down, pulling his head back just a bullet zinged up the stairwell. London fired indiscriminately back down, not even looking to see if any of the soldiers were hit.

  London pulled the third floor door open just a crack, firing through the small gap in as many directions as he could make his wrist go. He risked a peek. A plush carpeted corridor lay beyond, half glass walls with acid etched patterns on either side. Some of the offices now had better air conditioning from London’s shots. London saw three soldiers, and picked them off.

  A fourth came, but London’s gun made a pzzftht noise.

  “Crap,” he said. “I’m out of charge. Anybody got a charger for a Destructible Mark 4 Energy Weapon? I’ve only got a USB-C charger, and it doesn’t fit.”

  Vera took care of the soldier that came through the door, separating its head from its body with ruthless strength. The body was used to make opening the door from the other side difficult. Without a working weapon, London felt more vulnerable. Although, he had to admit that taking a soldier out with his phone was a masterstroke, if only he could claim he’d done it on purpose.

  At the end of the corridor, there was a choice of left and right.

  “Left,” Bonbon said. “There are two minds to the right, but they are human.”

  “What are they doing?” London asked.

  “They are summoning more soldiers,” Bonbon told them. “They are directing them where to go, what tactics to use.”

  London gave a tight grin. “I understand,” he said. “I finally get it. Xia, you and me will take those two, Bonbon and Vera can have Wishbone.”

  Vera nodded. “Bonbon will go with you,” he said. “This is between Kyson and me.”

  Bonbon hopped off Vera’s shoulder. Xia scooped him up. The pair watched Vera stride off down the corridor.

  “Do you feel even a little bit sorry for Wishbone?” asked London.

  Xia gave it a bit of thought, nearly a whole second. “No.”

  “Me neither,” London admitted. “While he does that, we’re going to save the world.”

  Vera reached the double doors at the end of the corridor.

  Wishbone was seated at the end of a long table. Display screens down one side showed a variety of feeds from soldiers and CCTV cameras. The biggest of them showed an aerial view of Wishbone’s lair; Vera guessed that the red dots were groups of soldiers.

  “Viracocha,” Wishbone said, inclining his head.

  “Kyson,” Vera said, though the way he hissed as he pronounced it sounded more like Kisin. “It ends here. It ends today.”

  “That it does,” Wishbone said, spreading his hands, and leaning back into his executive chair. “There are thirty thousand units on their way here to save me. You’ve done well, but in the end, I will win.”

  “Victory is defined by the victor,” Vera said. “As you will be dead, I will define it.”

  Wishbone gave a tight smile. “No desire to take me home and have me tried?”

  “None,” Vera said. “You have been found guilty in your absence, I will mete out justice.”

  “Before you kill me,” Vera said, sounding less worried than Google at a trivia completion. “I would love to know something.”

  “Yes?”

  “This James London,” Wishbone waved one hand around. “How did he find you?”

  “He was accidentally abducted,” Vera said. “He was arrested and put in the same prison as me. He helped me escape and find my ship, so I brought him home, where I saw you.”

  “Remarkable, don’t you think?”

  “How do you mean?” Vera was genuinely puzzled.

  “I believe London is a Singular Person,” Wishbone said.

  “The Singular Person is a conjecture,” Vera snapped. “I would not even give the idea the gravity of calling it a hypothesis, never mind a theory. We have only the slightest evidence of multiple dimensions, to even suggest that there is a Singular Person who exists always on the most beneficial path is hubris beyond contempt.”

  “Nevertheless,” Wishbone said. “Obviously, if this is the case, then nothing I do could possibly help. His sheer coincidence factor would destroy everything I try.”

  “Are you postulating an evidence based approach at the point of your death?” Vera asked, amazed at the audacity of his nemesis.

  “It will prove it one way or the other,” said Vera. “Either I am wrong, and I survive; or I am right, and I die. Either way, I win.”

  Vera scowled. “You will die. This does not mean you are right.”

  One massive blue paw grabbed the long table and tossed it to one side. Vera could have walked around it, but favoured the dramatic show of strength.

  “I get the picture,” said Wishbone. “You’re strong. You’re angry. You’re going to kill me. Gosh, it’s like you’d not been paying attention to the big screen showing where the soldiers are.”

  Vera glanced at it. There was only one red dot. That dot was right in the centre of the display. If pressed, he’d have described it as more of a pulsating smudge.

  “Your pets cannot stop all my units,” said Wishbone. “Your weapons will be depleted by now. You are but five.”

  The door behind Vera splintered and soldiers poured in. Vera lost count after fifty. Where there had been a table between him and Wishbone, there was now a sea of identical faces in identical uniforms.

  “As you can see, their presence indicates you are now but three,” said Wishbone. Your pet soldiers have been overwhelmed. After I have dealt with you, I will deal with James London. It will mean my Singular Person theory is claptrap, but hey oh, you can’t have everything.”

  “After you have this planet, what will you do?”

  “I’ll give it a few years for the humans to get used to the idea of being one species, rather than individual nations,” said Wishbone. “And then I will take them into the galaxy. I do believe I could rule this galaxy quite happily. I can’t really go home, now, can I? So I would like to live out my remaining millennia in comfort.”

  Vera tensed. He would go down fighting.

  Outside, the position Keyes and Rivers had taken was overrun, the soldiers that couldn’t fit inside the building were standing over the pair of SAS men. They looked at each other. It had been a good run, but all good runs had to come to an end, and this looked like the end of their run. Their weapons had run out of charge; their knives now their only weapons.

  “Who dares wins,” Rivers said to Keyes.

  “Who dares wins,” Keyes replied, taking out his own knife.

  They charged at the amassed genetically engineered soldiers.

  A few minutes before, London and Xia reached the location of the two human minds.

  The room was shaded by blinds over the windows, long, but cramped. Banks of computers occupied every available area. In front of the banks were two wheeled office chairs containing two white coated people, a man and a woman.

  Janet and John looked up, guilt etched on their faces.

  “You’re not allowed in here,” said John, although he said it half-heartedly.

  “I guessed that,” London quipped. “I feel that the clue was all the locked gates and armed guards.”

  “Don’t hurt us,” Janet said.

  “She is attempting to summon soldiers,” said Bonbon.

  “Stop fiddling with that console,” said London. “What do all these consoles do?”

  “We can’t tell you,” said John.

  “It is top secret,” said Janet.

  “Nothing in this room controls production or the programming of any of Wishbone’s Soldier Units,” John said.


  “Nothing,” Janet added.

  “I believe I could transfer knowledge of the workings of these computers to you,” Bonbon told London.

  “No, give it Xia,” London thought back.

  Xia suddenly looked shocked. Her eyes widened. “Oh,” she said in a small voice.

  “What is it Xia?” London asked.

  “That screen indicates there are tens of thousands of soldiers coming to this building,” she said, looking at it. “They’re going to protect Wishbone at all costs, and then protect these two.”

  “How did you do that?” Janet asked. “It took us months to understand this system. And we wrote it!”

  “What it means,” said John; “is that you are stuffed. Your gun’s run out of charge and bullets don’t hurt the soldiers.”

  London took out the Sig Sauer. “No, but they hurt you.”

  Outside the thudding of boots indicated that soldiers had overcome the SAS resistance downstairs and got through the carbon-based door jam on the third floor.

  “Too late,” said Janet.

  London pointed the gun at her. “Step away from the console.”

  “Destroying the console won’t change their programming,” John told them.

  “You step away too, or I will kill you both,” London said. “I really don’t want to, but my life depends on it. So I will.”

  The two got to their feet, held up their hands and leant against the wall.

  “I don’t see how you’re going to be able to do anything,” said Janet.

  Xia sat in John’s chair, rolling sideways. She grabbed the mouse and clicked some options, before typing on a keyboard. In traditional movie style, all her typing did not appear on a screen; however, a map was displayed, quickly followed by a wireframe image of a soldier. More typing, more clicking and more seemingly random images flashed across the screen.

  The stomping of boots outside stopped.

  “How did she do that?” Janet said. “It is custom software. She can’t possibly have worked it out.”

  “She’s very clever,” London said.

  There was a thump from outside like thousands of soldiers had sat down simultaneously.

  “That gives me a bit of time,” said Xia.

  “What did you do?” Janet demanded; her voice shrill.

  “I told every unit on the planet to sit down,” Xia said. “It was all I had time for.”

  London smiled at Janet and John. “Could you program two of them to come in here and hold these two?”

  “Sure,” Xia said.

  “And then we’ll figure out what to do with the rest,” London said.

  Two soldiers came in, pulled Janet and John to them, and held them in vice like grips around their upper arms. Xia looked over at them and tapped a few keys. Janet and John were raised two inches off the floor.

  “Ow,” said John. “That hurts.”

  “Why?” London asked. “Why are you helping Wishbone? Does he have your family? Has he brainwashed you?”

  “It was interesting,” said John. “He taught us precise genetic manipulation and fine grained neuro-control. Who wouldn’t want to help him?”

  “But he is taking over the world!” London said.

  “He is uniting the world,” Janet said. “He painted it as such a wonderful ideal. No more wars, no more conflict. He is going to end hunger, and spend military budgets on schools and health.”

  London shook his head. “Xia, do something with all those soldiers. I’ll go and see how Vera got on.”

  In his head, London thought to Bonbon: “Can you make sure she’s safe?”

  “Sure thing,” Bonbon said, hopping into the other chair. It was like Janet and John couldn’t see him. “They can’t,” Bonbon admitted.

  Outside the door, there was a surreal sight of hundreds of soldiers packing the corridor, but all sat down. Their faces were impassive as London at first tried to work his way around them, before admitting defeat and walking across them. It felt like the time he’d escaped from the Irish Zombie Leprechaun Plague by running across mattresses. There was no door, so London went straight in. Wishbone was currently against a wall, his feet dangling.

  “Oh look,” said Wishbone. “It’s the Singular Person.”

  “I am willing to admit that your idea has merit based on the evidence,” said Vera. “But now you will die. Now I will destroy you.”

  “Would killing him really make you feel better?” London asked. “Honestly, looking deep into yourself, revenge won’t bring your family back.”

  Wishbone started laughing. “You told them I killed your family.”

  “You did kill my entire family,” Vera said, with a snarl. “You even killed my fifth wife’s great aunt’s husband’s fourth wife’s grandson.”

  “It was an accidental by-product,” said Wishbone. “Your race wiped out my race, I was protecting myself.” Wishbone looked at London. “He’s the exterminator. We’re pests. I might even be the last one.”

  “Your race enslaved mine,” Vera snarled. “You are concealing facts in order to appear less malevolent.”

  London sighed. “Whatever,” he said. “Are you going to kill him, Vera?”

  “I am,” said Vera. “It was decreed, so it shall be.”

  “So what’s stopping you?”

  “He is a shape shifter,” Vera explained. “If I pull off an arm, he will grow another. If I pull off his head, he will grow a new body.”

  London held up the Sig Sauer. “Shoot him in the eyes.”

  Wishbone’s twisted round to face London. “No!”

  “This will not work,” Vera said. “This will merely blind him.”

  “You told me he could never change his eyes,” London said. “They’re the only constant. That’s him.”

  Vera looked at Wishbone, who now looked genuinely scared for the first time. “I have done this before. He would regrow an eye. I know what to do. Do you have a jar, James? I need a fairly large jar that has a lid.”

  “Not on me,” London said. “I carry the usual things, you know? Car keys, phone, wallet and picture of the only girl I ever loved. Although, I can probably get you one, if you can wait five minutes.”

  “I can wait,” Vera said.

  Before London could move, the floor shifted under him, sending him sprawling. All the soldiers arose and filed out of the room. London waited until they’d left, and went down the stairs to the cafeteria. They were bound to have a jar, although, he had no idea what Vera wanted it for.

  The cafeteria wasn’t empty. Keyes and Rivers were sitting at one of the round tables, drinking tea out of white porcelain mugs.

  “You made it then?” London said.

  “Always do,” said Rivers.

  “Want a cuppa?” Keyes asked London, indicating the metal teapot on the table. “It’s the best bit of a mission.”

  “No, I need a jar.”

  “There’s one in the cupboard under the till in the kitchen,” Keyes said. “I saw it when I was looking for mugs.”

  The kitchen was filled with metal cupboards, fridges and cookers. There was only one till. London slid opened the cupboard under it, and found a Nutella jar. It had a lid. London used a spoon to empty it, and gave it a rinse.

  “Back in a bit,” he said to the two soldiers.

  As London disappeared, Keyes looked at Rivers. “I wonder why he needs a jar.”

  “No idea,” Rivers admitted. “This is good tea.”

  “When the papers get hold of this tomorrow…” said Keyes.

  “Yes?”

  “Do we tell them the truth?”

  “God no,” said Rivers. “Aliens? Spaceships? It’ll be simpler for people to believe that two SAS officers took down Wishbone and his entire army singlehandedly.”

  “True,” Keyes said. “We do have a mythos to maintain.”

  Back in the conference room, London handed Vera the jar.

  “Could you take the lid off, please and put it on the floor?” Vera asked. “I need
both hands, and I’m not Kurian.”

  London obliged.

  “I cannot kill Kyson here,” Vera pronounced, “I lack the liquid nitrogen.”

  London blanched as Vera pulled Wishbone’s eyes out of his head. They came out with a sucking noise, long connecting tendrils to a central jelly-like mass. The rest of the body, now lifeless, crumbled like dust. Vera put the jelly and eyes in the jar. It was a tight squeeze. One of the eyes looked accusingly at London.

  It could have been London’s imagination.

  London wondered if he had a nut allergy. He hoped so.

  Vera screwed the lid on tightly. “That should hold him.”

  “All that stuff he mentioned about slavery, decimated families and you being a hunter, what’s the truth?” London asked. “It’s none of my business, but I like to think I was on the right side all along.”

  “Yours is not the first world Kyson has taken over,” Vera said. “You have seen what one of his species can do. Imagine a race of them. I and a group of others were trained to defeat them, until there was only Kyson and me left. In order to get to me, Kyson killed everybody I knew, before realising that they would never give me up. He escaped. My people were free, but for his crimes, Kyson was sentenced to death, and I vowed I would carry this sentence out.”

  “That’ll do for me,” said London, as they reached Xia with Janet and John still held firm.

  “Let us go,” Janet said, but her heart wasn’t in it. “We didn’t do anything wrong. We just work here.”

  “It is difficult to know what crime you have committed,” London mused. “It might be treason in every country in the world. I don’t know. I’m no legal expert. I’ll leave you with the two SAS guys downstairs having tea. They can sort it out.”

  “What has happened to all the genetically engineered units?” Vera asked Xia.

  “I didn’t know what to do with them,” she replied. “So currently, they’re congregating in the nearest open space and making a pyramid. It seemed as good as any other option. They were a bit in the way sitting down.”

  “Is there a self-destruct button?” London asked, looking at Janet and John.

  “Apparently so,” Bonbon said.