My hands clench into balls at my sides, and I’ve never been more tempted to throw a few punches.
Dane notices, and he smirks, and that does nothing to quell the storm raging inside me. “I know that, but I wanted to explore options. Just because I asked doesn’t mean I wanted to wipe my friends’ memories!” I start pacing the floor, totally agitated and on edge. “And don’t patronize me or treat me like I’m clueless. I may be playing catch up, but I still know right from wrong. Dabbling in people’s minds is serious shit, and I won’t contemplate doing that to two people I care about unless there genuinely is no other choice. We aren’t in that space yet, so it’s not happening.” I stop pacing, facing him with a determined look.
Dane stands up, towering over me with a face like thunder. “You appear to be under some sort of delusion. You don’t call the shots around here. I do.” A muscle ticks in his jaw. “If I decide this is the best course of action, then I’ll take it, with or without your approval. I certainly don’t need your permission.” He smirks at me again, and I want to wipe the smug look off his face so bad, but I refuse to allow him to get to me, because that’s like confirming his influence, and I’m not giving him the satisfaction.
“I really wouldn’t advise you to do that.” I step up to him, keeping my voice and my face controlled. “You don’t want to make an enemy of me.” I expect him to laugh at my words, because I have no basis for supporting the underlying threat, but he just stares at me with a wary expression etched on his face, as if he’s trying to find hidden meaning behind my statement.
He leans into me, and the connection starts acting out, swooning and pleading, but I ignore the unwelcome irritation, holding my shoulders straight and my head up. Dane is not going to intimidate me. “I don’t take too kindly to veiled threats, sweetheart.” He fists his hand in my hair, pulling my face close to his. His breath is intoxicating and warm as it glides across my skin. “Choose your next words very carefully, Alinthia,” he whispers in my ear.
His proximity and the danger oozing out of every pore should scare me, but it’s having the opposite effect, and I’m struggling to keep my hands to myself, but I’d rather eat my fingers than touch Dane. Shooting him a defiant look, I pause before replying. “You don’t get to make decisions that impact my friends, Dane, no matter what your role is. Don’t touch Kylie or Jensen, or you’ll be sorry.”
I walk out of the room before he responds, proud that I held my own and proud that I didn’t cave to the crazy connection, no matter how much the devil on my shoulder wanted me to.
Kylie comes over to the Roth house on Saturday night to keep me company after Cooper, Maddox, and Dane ditched me to check out the place where an online report claims an alien ship landed last night. The guys expect it to be a false alarm, but one of the craft they were tracking has mysteriously disappeared, so they want to ensure it isn’t one and the same. I begged to go with them, but they all refused, claiming it was too dangerous. Beck is on protective duty, but he’s locked himself away in his tech hideout, mumbling something about needing to check the feeds, but I know he’s just terrified to be alone with me. I tried to put him at ease suggesting we order pizza and watch some Netflix, but he insisted he needed to work and I don’t push him. I can’t help wondering if something has happened to Beck to make him so shy around girls or if it’s just his introverted personality.
“Wow,” Kylie says, looking all around as I show her inside. “This place is magnificent.”
“I know. I still get lost at times. Follow me,” I say, taking the stairs two at a time. “My bedroom’s up here.”
“Shut. The. Front. Door,” she says, gawking when she steps foot in my room. “This is your room?” Her eyes take everything in as she strolls around my room.
“Ostentatious, isn’t it?”
“It’s gorgeous, Tori. Seriously stunning.”
I sit down on the couch, smiling. “I know, and the guys decorated it themselves. They’re really thoughtful like that.”
“Damn,” she exclaims, collapsing spread-eagled on the couch. “Why couldn’t I be an alien?”
I giggle, handing her a paper plate with a few pizza slices and a can of soda. I already took a plate out to Beckett.
“Do you think they’d adopt me if I beg?” she ponders, chewing on the corner of her pizza.
“Not a chance.” I jokingly elbow her in the ribs. “I’m not sharing.”
Her teasing expression turns more serious. “So, what is the deal with you and them? I mean, I know what you told me about relationships on your home planet, and the connection and stuff, and I think Cooper is bound to move in for the kill any day now, but what do you want?”
“I don’t know, Kylie.” I slowly chew my pizza while I try to organize my fragmented thoughts. “I can’t deny how comfortable I am around them, and how much being here feels like home, but I’ve only just broken up with Jensen and it feels like a betrayal to be thinking about other guys like that.”
“So, you do have feelings for them? For all of them?”
I nod. “Does that make me a slut?”
She sits up straighter. “What! No, of course not. I’ve always believed it’s possible to have romantic feelings for more than one guy at a time.” She nudges my elbow. “You know me and my obsession with love triangles in books.”
“The other thing I’m wondering is if it’s real or some byproduct of the bond we share,” I muse, taking a slow sip of my soda. “But I certainly can’t deny how much I’m attracted to them, even if it makes me feel so unbelievably guilty.”
“There goes any notions I had of hitting on Dane,” she mock pouts.
I snort. “Trust me, you don’t need him in your life. He’s the moodiest, crankiest, most irritating—”
“Hottest, sexiest beast to walk on two legs,” she finishes for me. I pin her with a look. “What? I’m just being honest where you’re in denial. Don’t be an idiot, Tor. You should totally tap that.”
“I feel like man candy,” Dane says, startling us both when he pops into the room, and we scream. “And totally objectified.” His smirk is smug, and I rub my hands over my face while my heart recalibrates.
“You’re interrupting girls’ night, Dane. Did you want something in particular, or did you just pop in to annoy the shit out of me again?”
“Your mouth is turning extremely potty, Alinthia. It’s very unbecoming.”
“So is this,” I say, thrusting my middle finger up at him.
I swear his lips curve up for a second. “I’ve zero interest in crashing your girlie night. I just wanted to let you know it was a false alarm. Now you can get back to your vacuous, sexist conversation.” He swipes two slices of pizza before evaporating.
“Oh my Lord. My ovaries are in serious meltdown,” Kylie exclaims, fanning her face with her hand. “Did you see how the muscles bulged in his arms when he bent down to grab the pizza? And those lips?” She fans herself again. “A girl could get lost in those lips.”
“Not. Helping,” I groan.
“Just trying to keep it real, girlfriend. You are so screwed, Tori.” She snickers. “You are totally going to get it on with him, and I’ve never wanted to trade places with anyone so badly, you lucky bitch. I’m totally going to live vicariously through you, so you’d better not let me down.” She slants me with a knowing look. “And I want all the nasty deets. Every last delicious one.” She winks at me.
I swat her with the cushion. “You’re delusional. Dane can’t stand me, and I’d gouge my own eyes out before I let him touch me.”
She almost chokes on her laughter. “Oh, babe. If there’s anyone delusional around here, it’s totally you. I can’t wait until you prove me right.”
Chapter 36
Another school week goes by in a similar pattern, and the longer we go without any sign of enemy threats, the more I question how much danger I’m really in.
“You look as exhausted as I should feel,” I tell Beck on Friday as I walk in the door with
Maddox after we both took first place in our respective races.
“I’ve a lot on my plate at the moment,” he says, stifling a yawn.
“Any update on how we lift the curse from Jack?” I inquire as I do regularly.
“Unfortunately not, but I’ve reached out to a few contacts. Hopefully one of them will know something.”
I haven’t been back in the basement, although I have snuck looks at the camera feed every so often. It’s hard to tally the hideous creature stomping in his cell with the good-looking quarterback who dated Kenzie for three years. The guys closely monitor Jack, and while he hasn’t deteriorated, he hasn’t improved either. It’s an ongoing source of guilt and frustration, but I just add it to the pile.
“Thanks for trying. I appreciate that.” I move behind him, my hands hovering over his shoulders. “May I?”
He stiffens, almost imperceptibly, but then he nods. My fingers dig into his tense flesh, kneading the tight muscles until I feel him relaxing.
“I’m really stressed too,” Coop says, dropping into the chair alongside Beck and shooting me puppy dog eyes. I manage to contain my laughter, only because I read the longing and frustration behind his pleading eyes. I’ve been keeping Coop at arm’s length these last few weeks and I know it’s hurting him.
Keeping a discernible distance, both physically and mentally from the guys, is almost soul-destroying, but another part of me relishes the ongoing pain. Like a form of punishment for what I’ve done to Jack and what I’ve put Jensen through.
Maddox sends the dishcloth flying across the room, swatting Coop square in the face.
“Ow!” He rubs at his face as a pot floats off the counter straight for Maddox’s head. Maddox ducks down in time, and the pot clangs noisily to the tile floor just as Dane steps foot in the kitchen. He’s been gone the last couple days, meeting with the mysterious handler.
Dane moves the pot off the floor with his mind, carefully placing it down on the counter. “So this is what happens when I leave you alone?”
“Welcome home too, asshole,” Coop says, jumping up. He leans in and kisses me on the cheek. “I’ll take a raincheck. I think Dane needs the massage more than I do.”
“Yeah, so not happening.” I roll my eyes. As if Dane would let me anywhere near him, and I have no plans of touching him again. My cheeks still burn in humiliation at the thought of what transpired in his office that day.
“For once we’re in agreement on something,” he retorts with a condescending smirk, instantly raising my hackles. Standing in front of me, he scowls at Beck. “Don’t you have stuff to do?”
“Give him a break! Can’t you see how overworked he is?” I glare at Dane.
“No one asked for your opinion.”
I really don’t get where all this animosity is coming from. Sure, he was as prickly as a porcupine from the start, but lately it’s almost venomous. Like he hates me and all I stand for. I’d like to say it doesn’t hurt, but that’d be an outright lie, because it does. “Wow. It’s so great to have you home.” I walk out of the kitchen before I do or say something I’ll regret, but Dane stalks after me.
“Wait. I need to speak to you.”
“Go to hell.” I have only taken two steps up the stairs when I’m lifted up and hauled back against Dane’s hard chest. “Let go of me!”
“Not unless you promise to behave. We can do this the easy way or the hard way, but you will listen to what I have to say.”
“Fine.” I huff. “Put me down.”
He places my feet on the ground with more tenderness than I expect, and I follow him to his office. Once inside, facing each other across the table, he skips over pleasantries, getting straight to it. “Our handler is concerned with your lack of progression. You should be much more advanced at this time.”
“I’m trying!” I blurt, his words hitting their mark. “I’m doing everything you’ve asked of me, and I haven’t missed a single session.” Failure is an unfamiliar emotion, and I’m having a hard time dealing with the situation.
“Not everything.” Dane rounds the table, coming to stand in front of me. “In particular, he’s concerned as to why the knowledge embedded within your mind hasn’t triggered yet. It’s holding you back from achieving your potential and developing control over your mind and your abilities, and he thinks he knows why.”
I put my hands on my hips, tilting my chin up. “Let’s hear it.”
He shuffles awkwardly on his feet. “You need to fully embrace the bond and your connection to us in order to kick-start everything.”
I frown. “What does he mean? I have embraced the bond.”
He shakes his head. “Not fully. You refuse to move in here, you keep to yourself more since you broke up with Jensen, you mope around at night rejecting our comfort, and you won’t even sit with us at lunch. That is not embracing the bond.”
I snort. “When have you ever offered me any more than hostility and cruel words?”
He bristles, narrowing his eyes at me. “I tried to console you when you were having a nightmare, and you criticized me for it.”
His emotion bleeds through the connection, and my fiery temper ebbs. “I didn’t mean for it to sound like a criticism, and I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. I was just trying to set some boundaries.”
“I think that’s Zorc’s point. When it comes to the five of us, there shouldn’t be any.” Two red spots appear on his cheeks, surprising me. “We are one and the same, and giving in to our emotions and desires is what we should be doing if it’s what the bond craves.”
My cheeks flare up too, and this is uncomfortable as fuck. I could’ve had this conversation with any of the others and it wouldn’t feel half as awkward, well, maybe except for Beck. He’d die if I tried to have this type of conversation with him. “What exactly is this Zorc saying I should do?” I ask with suspicion in my tone.
“Embrace the bond. Move in here. Indulge what feels natural.”
“And what about you?”
“What about me?” He feigns ignorance, but he’s not kidding anyone.
“I’m not the only one who’s been denying the connection.”
He sucks in his cheeks as if he’s tasted something sour. “Agreed, and I’ll make the necessary effort.”
I level him with a disbelieving look. Dane can’t stand to be in my presence, so I can’t imagine he’ll be happy if I move in here. And that’s a big if. I’m still not sold on the idea. And no matter how cool my parents are with the guys, I doubt they’d be on board with this plan. “You’d really be happy if I moved in here?”
“It’ll mean better protection for you and that’ll make me happy.”
I can’t fault his devotion to my safety, even if he has suspicions I’m not all I’m supposed to be, but he never falters in ensuring I’m protected at all times. I clear my throat. “But what about the other stuff?”
He quirks a brow, smirking. “Other stuff?”
I glower at him. He’s really going to make me say it?
He tilts his head to the side, daring me with his searing gaze, challenging me with his cocky smile.
I force the words out of my mouth. “What about you and me? You’re really comfortable with that?”
“Comfortable isn’t a word I’d use, no, but I’ll deal. I’ll do what’s necessary.”
That rubs me the wrong way, and I instinctively lash out. “Wow. Way to make a girl feel special. I’ll bet that silver tongue of yours works wonders with the ladies. You must be beating them off with a stick.”
His nostrils flare, and I know I’ve hit a nerve. He steps into me, and the heat from his body rolls over me in waves. I stand my ground, refusing to back down. “This isn’t about feeling special. This is about duty and destiny. You’d do well to drum that into your pretty, little head. I’m prepared to do whatever is necessary for Verron, no matter how unpleasant it might be.” He taps one long finger off my temple, and rage burns through my veins.
“Screw you, Dane.”
“I think that’s the point.” He smirks, and I see red. Pivoting on my heel, I stride toward the door, fighting angry tears.
His large hand wraps around my arm. “Where do you think you’re going?”
I attempt to shuck his arm off, but his grip is too strong. “Away from you, douche canoe.” He laughs, and that does it. I twist around in his grip, jabbing my finger in his solid chest. “Why are you such a bastard? You think I wanted any of this?” I yell.
“And that’s pure typical of you, Tori. Always thinking of yourself. You think any of us wanted this? It’s not about what we want, it’s about what is necessary for the greater good!” His eyes gleam with indignation and rage.
“I know that, asshole!” I’m determined to use as many derogatory terms as I can manage to squeeze into this conversation, in the hope it will rile him up as much as he’s inciting me. “I’m doing my best to come to terms with it. Would it kill you to cut me a little slack every now and then?”
His jaw tenses. “I thought you wanted to be treated as our equal? We weren’t cut any slack so why should I do that for you?”
I stub my finger in his chest again. “You’re right, you shouldn’t. I don’t want any special treatment. I just want equal treatment, and I don’t see you speaking to the others the way you speak to me.”
“Because they don’t infuriate the fuck out of me,” he roars, releasing my arm and stepping back. “Ugh!” He cradles his head in his hands. “You are driving me insane.”
I snort. “Don’t worry. The feeling is definitely mutual.”
He glares at me, and I glare back at him, and I’m determined to have the last word. “And I wouldn’t kiss you, let alone sleep with you, if you were the last male alive and the fate of the world depended on it, so let’s just agree that we’re not going to go there and leave it at that.” I turn around, walking toward the door, when I’m grabbed from behind and spun around.
The Lost Savior Page 28