Longing For His kiss

by Sherri Hayes

  Her ass still tingled a little from the spanking she’d received. If she closed her eyes she could almost feel the impression of his hand lingering. It was comforting.

  She released a contented sigh, turned on her side, and wrapped her arms around her pillow. There was a lot she needed to think about, but it was going to have to wait until tomorrow. Sleep was slowly pulling her under and she didn’t want to fight it.

  ***

  On Monday morning Alexander woke up with Grace at the forefront of his mind. Granted, this wasn’t the first time she’d dominated his thoughts. He often found himself remembering something she’d said or done when he’d least expect it. This morning, however, his mind was more focused. He’d agreed to be her Dom without knowing anything about her limits or what she wanted from him. It wasn’t the smartest decision of his life, but he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. This was Grace. He’d be what she needed him to be.

  Yeah, he knew that made him a sucker or a sap or whatever, but at least he was man enough to admit it. If only to himself. She was special and he planned on doing everything he could to help her realize it.

  His workday dragged. It wasn’t that he hated his job exactly, but he’d be lying if he said he loved sitting behind a desk all day looking over various malpractice complaints. On the plus side, he was learning what not to do with his future patients. Most of the things that crossed his desk were simple cases of lack of communication. Many doctors, it seemed, took for granted how much their patients knew and understood. He’d read over the patient’s issue, and then the doctor’s response. He could see the disconnect.

  At five o’clock, he rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. He’d never been happier to be done with a day’s work.

  “Long day?” Jewel, one of the paralegals, stood in front of his desk, clutching a stack of folders.

  He set the folder he’d been working through off to the side and pushed away from his desk. “Little bit.”

  “Some of us are going to BJ’s for drinks. You’re welcome to join us.”

  “Thanks,” he said, grabbing his jacket. “But I have some things to do tonight.”

  She didn’t seem upset by his declining the invitation. “Maybe next time.”

  “Sure.”

  Jewel wished him a good night and strolled into the file room.

  The first thing Alexander did when he got in his car was check his cell to see if he had any messages from Grace. He’d been half expecting her to call or text him at some point saying she’d changed her mind, but there was no such message. That meant she either hadn’t changed her mind or she was too scared or nervous to say she had.

  While her changing her mind might make things easier for him, it wasn’t what he wanted. After having her sprawled across his lap the night before, that had been painfully obvious to him. Painful being the operative word. He’d played with a sub once since being discharged from the Army. It had been a very basic scene at Serpent’s Kiss about two weeks after he joined. A way to get his feet wet again, as it were.

  He hadn’t, however, had sex for close to two years. Between his deployment, and then his recovery, there hadn’t been all that many opportunities. And grabbing a quickie, locked in a latrine in the middle of the desert hadn’t really been an option. At least not for him. Seeing Grace like that, touching her—spanking her—had sent all his blood rushing to his groin.

  Remembering had his problem rising to the surface again. Alexander groaned and tried to focus on the task at hand. He needed to call Grace like he promised.

  The phone rang three times before she answered. “Hello.”

  “Hi.” Hearing her voice brought a smile to his face. “How was your day off?”

  “Good. I slept in, and then did some reading.” She paused. “I also spent some time updating my limits list.”

  He hadn’t known if she’d bring it up first or not, but he was glad she had. “I did that about two months ago after I joined Serpent’s Kiss.”

  “Mistress Katrina mentioned it when I met with her.” She let her words hang in the air.

  Alexander understood. Grace wasn’t the type to jump into playing with someone she didn’t know, and if she wasn’t playing then there was no reason to update her limits list. “Are you having any second thoughts?”

  She responded quicker than he thought she would. “No.”

  Someone walked in front of his vehicle, but he barely noticed. He was entirely focused on his conversation with Grace. “I’d like to take you out to dinner tonight.”

  “All right.” She paused. “Should I bring my list?”

  “I think that would be a good idea.”

  They made arrangements for him to pick her up in an hour before hanging up. He needed to get home, shower, change, and figure out where they would go. While he wanted to keep things casual, he also wanted them to have at least some privacy. That would be difficult if they were seated in the middle of a busy restaurant. Plus, he wanted the night to feel important because it was. This was a big step for Grace, and Alexander understood that.

  She was ready and waiting for him when he arrived. Her blond hair was loose and it made him wonder what it would feel like to run his fingers through it. He resisted the urge. It wasn’t his right. Yet.

  “I like your hair down like that,” he said as he opened the passenger-side door for her to get into the car.

  Grace lowered her gaze, but she didn’t comment. He was pretty sure he saw the telltale signs of a blush creeping up her neck.

  As they drove to the restaurant, she sat with her purse in her lap and her hands folded on top. She looked at the road ahead, her shoulders back. It was very proper and very non-Grace-like.

  “There’s no need to be nervous.”

  He saw her glance over at him out of the corner of his eye. “I know. It’s . . . been a long time since I’ve done this.”

  “Had dinner?”

  Her soft giggle was exactly the reaction he’d hoped for.

  Reaching for her hand, he gave it a gentle squeeze. “It’s just dinner, Grace. The same thing we’ve done twice a week for the last month. The rest? We’ll figure it out. There’s no pressure.”

  Out of the corner of his eye he saw her nod. She didn’t say anything more and he didn’t push.

  They pulled into the restaurant parking lot and he went to open the door for her. She took his arm as she had many times before and they headed inside.

  The place was small. There were maybe ten tables in the whole place, which in Alexander’s opinion was perfect. That, coupled with the fact that it was a Monday night, meant there were only a few other customers.

  Once they were seated at a booth in the back corner and the server had taken their order, Alexander figured maybe it was time to get down to business. She wasn’t going to relax until things were out in the open. “Did you bring your list?”

  Grace nodded and reached into her purse. She held it out to him.

  There were several pages. He recognized it as the template Katrina had on the Serpent’s Kiss website. One of the nice things about it was that it was detailed. There were even obscure kinks listed, some of which he hoped to never witness. He understood and supported the my kink is not your kink assertion, but as a doctor there were some things he couldn’t get behind.

  Alexander scanned what Grace had marked and was pleased to see that most of their kinks lined up. There were a few exceptions, there always were, but nothing they couldn’t work with. What did give him a little pause was that she had marked oral, vaginal, and anal sex as ‘love.’ Not that he’d expected her to hate it, but he figured there’d be a note or that they would be listed as soft limits. Did that mean she was ready to jump into a sexual relationship?

  He turned the papers over and placed them on the table off to the side. Their server had brought their drinks and their appetizer while he’d been reading over her list. It didn’t escape his notice that Grace had yet to touch any of it. “Help yourself.”

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nbsp; With a little reluctance, she picked up some bread, tore off a piece, and dipped it into the hummus. He followed suit, watching as she placed the pita into her mouth and swallowed. After reading her limits list, he couldn’t help that his mind went in the direction it did. He grabbed his water and downed half of it.

  She picked at her napkin a few times. “Was there something wrong with my list?”

  “Not at all. Why would you think that?”

  Grace shrugged. “You look uncomfortable.”

  He couldn’t help but snort. She wasn’t far off, but not for the reasons she was thinking. He leaned in and lowered his voice. “I just read a breakdown of all the things you’d like me to do to you.” Alexander stopped to let that sink in. “Let’s hope I don’t have to get up from the table anytime soon.”

  Her eyes widened with shock, and then with what he thought might be interest. He held her gaze until their server came with their food. The spell was broken, but that was okay. Interest he could work with. He was determined to make sure Grace didn’t regret asking him to be her Dom.

  Donation more $10, download any books in one month

  Chapter 10

  Grace concentrated on her food and attempted to ignore the way her body reacted to his words. Her lower half pulsed with anticipation. It had no issue jumping headfirst into this arrangement with Alexander.

  And that’s what it was: an arrangement. He was agreeing to be her Dom, not her boyfriend. It wouldn’t be the same type of relationship she’d had with Kurt. She knew that. Which was why there was a little voice in the back of her brain asking if she was really sure she wanted to do this. That voice, however, wasn’t very loud and it was easily overtaken by her need to open up and let go of everything she’d been dealing with for the last nine months.

  Her thoughts drifted back to the night before when she’d been draped across his lap, feeling his hand make contact with her backside. The sting had been gone when she’d woken up that morning and she’d missed it. Grace wondered how long she’d have to wait before he would do it again. Or she could ask. Maybe . . .

  “How’s your dinner?”

  She looked up to find him staring at her. “It’s good.” As if to prove her point, she took a bite and grinned.

  He waited for several seconds. “Grace, if something’s bothering you, you need to tell me.”

  “No. It’s . . . I was thinking about last night.” She felt the blush start to rise on her cheeks. “On the couch.”

  “Ah.” Alexander chuckled. “Yes. I can see why that would have you distracted.”

  His response in no way helped with her blush. She tucked her head down and dug back into her food.

  Of course, he wouldn’t change the subject to something more mundane like the weather. She should have known better. He was a Dom after all. “I’d like to take you to the club with me this weekend.”

  She swallowed and met his gaze. Wasn’t it too soon for that? “You do?”

  He nodded. “I think it will be an excellent way for me to gauge where we should begin. Plus, I think it will be good for you to be around other subs.”

  That made sense. She and Kurt had known each other for over a year before they’d started playing and they’d done a lot of experimenting at first to see what they both liked. This was a different situation entirely. “I guess that’s probably a good idea. I need to apologize to Justin anyway.”

  “Yes, you do.” He took another bite. “Running away isn’t the answer. What’s going to happen the next time you see someone at the club you know?”

  Grace had a hard time swallowing down the food she’d been chewing. She hadn’t thought about that. “I don’t know.”

  “You should know that as your Dom, I won’t let you run away again. Being a sub isn’t something you should ever be ashamed of.”

  “I know.” She laid her fork down on her plate. “I just don’t know how to react. Kurt and I mainly played in our house, and the few times we did go to clubs, we didn’t know anyone else there.”

  Alexander seemed to take that in but didn’t comment. At least not right away. He waited until their server cleared their plates and brought dessert. “Did you have any questions for me?”

  She thought about all the things she could ask him. “How long have you been in the lifestyle?”

  He appeared pleased. “I started experimenting in med school.”

  A part of her didn’t want to ask the next question for some reason. The answer didn’t really matter, but something compelled her to ask it anyway. “How many subs have you had?”

  “How many have I played with or how many have I had a relationship or agreement with?” he asked.

  “Um . . . both?” She knew how unsure she sounded.

  He picked up a piece of baklava before answering. “I’ve played with twelve women over the years, only two of whom I’ve had any sort of formal arrangement with.”

  That wasn’t so many. Not if he’d been in the lifestyle for ten years and was single. Of course, he’d also been in the military, which meant deployments.

  Her silence must have been a lot louder than she thought. “Does that seem like a lot?”

  Grace shook her head. “No, I suppose not.”

  He moved on. “I want to talk to you a little about my expectations.”

  “Okay.” All of a sudden the baklava tasted very dry in her throat as she tried to swallow.

  “I don’t know how things worked with Kurt, but when we’re playing I expect you to obey me. You’ll have your safeword, but unless you choose to use it, I expect compliance.”

  She nodded. “Yes, Sir.”

  “Good.” He retrieved the papers she’d given him at the start of their meal, looked them over again, and then met her gaze across the table. “Now, we have just a few more details to go over.”

  They stayed at the restaurant for almost another hour going over specifics on her list. Nothing too graphic. They kept their language vague in case someone was listening, but still there were times she wanted a hole to open up beneath her and suck her in.

  As he drove her home, Grace tried not to read too much into Alexander’s insistence that they continue their dinner dates during the week. They wouldn’t be playing then. He’d said he wanted them to have some downtime where the rules didn’t apply.

  He’d also asked her about sex, which had been the most embarrassing topic of conversation to have in the middle of a restaurant. They were alone and most of the other customers had cleared out. Neither of those facts mattered as she turned beet red.

  She’d known the subject would come up given what she’d marked on her list, but she hadn’t expected him to bring it up then. Mortified, she’d told him that she wasn’t sure. That her body was more than ready, but she didn’t know if she was actually ready to have sex with someone who wasn’t her husband.

  To her relief, Alexander understood. He assured her that they would take things slow in that regard and figure it out along the way. It was the perfect response, and yet it wasn’t. She should have been grateful he wouldn’t push her into jumping into bed with him, but she couldn’t deny that she was a little disappointed.

  He parked in front of her house and walked her to her front door.

  “Did you want to come in?” she asked. He’d come in sometimes after their dinners, and to be honest, she wasn’t sure she wanted to say good night to him yet even though it was already after nine.

  “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

  She was a little confused until she saw the look in his eyes. Their conversation earlier had had an effect on him, too.

  Before she could think of anything to say, he reached up to brush the back of his fingers against her cheek. “It’s not that I don’t want to, Grace.”

  The air around them felt heavy and she felt herself leaning into his touch.

  He placed his hand under her chin and tilted it up until she was looking at him. “I’ll email you a list of rules and requirements tomorrow.�
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  That had been the last thing she’d thought he’d say.

  Alexander released his hold on her and dropped his hand down to his side. “How about I take you to dinner Thursday evening and you can let me know if you’d like to make any changes before Friday?”

  Friday. The club. She’d almost forgotten.

  “Grace?” He had one eyebrow raised and was waiting on an answer.

  “Sounds good,” she managed to choke out.

  “We’ll go as slow as you need. I promise.”

  A sort of peace came over her. She released a deep breath and smiled. “I know. I trust you.”

  He held her gaze for a long moment and she saw something in them change. She knew that look. It made her insides flutter. “Go inside, Grace.”

  She took out her keys and opened the door, sending one last look at Alexander. “Good night.”

  “Good night.”

  ***

  As promised, Alexander emailed an outline of their arrangement along with his limits list to Grace first thing Tuesday morning. He knew she was at work, so she most likely wouldn’t get a chance to look it over until later that night, but that didn’t help the bit of anxiety he felt. She’d never played with anyone but her husband, whom she’d known for a decade. It was going to be different for her, an adjustment. He could only hope she would embrace it.

  Her assertion the night before that she trusted him had almost sent common sense out the window. He wanted to take her up on her offer to come inside, but he knew that wasn’t wise. They needed to do this right. He wanted to do it right for her. And even she had admitted she didn’t know if she was ready for sex yet.

  Scrubbing a hand over his face, Alexander ignored the growing discomfort in his groin. He’d taken care of things when he’d gotten home the night before, but it didn’t feel like it. Thinking about Grace and all the things he wanted to do to her, with her, was enough to have his libido soaring out of control. He really did need to get laid. The only problem with that was the only woman he had any interest in taking to his bed was Grace.