Longing For His kiss

by Sherri Hayes

  He had a meeting over lunch that ran well into the afternoon. Over his ten-year military career he’d had a few commanders that liked to chatter on instead of getting to the point, but the man who was currently standing at the far end of the conference room took the cake. He’d been rambling on about medical billing procedures for almost forty minutes. It might not have been so bad had he been sharing some sort of new way of doing things, but he wasn’t and Alexander wasn’t the only one in the room who looked as if he were about to fall asleep.

  The man finally sat down and another man took over. There was a collective sigh of relief in the room when the new speaker began talking about an upcoming case involving an experimental drug.

  By the time the meeting let out, it was nearly three thirty. Almost everyone went to their desks to check their email and voice mail. They’d been in that dreaded meeting for close to four hours with only one bathroom break. He would rather have run ten miles.

  Given his job, he doubted he had any important emails waiting for him at his desk, so after making a quick stop at the bathroom he headed downstairs to the patio for a little air. He took a seat on one of the benches and scrolled through his phone. There was no way to know if Grace had opened his email or not. She was most likely home by then, but that didn’t mean anything.

  Alexander hated that he was so anxious. It wasn’t like him at all. But this was Grace and there was so much that could go wrong.

  His thumb hovered over the screen as he debated whether or not to send her a text. He was still debating when his phone dinged.

  Got your email. – Grace

  It was crazy how something so simple could bring a smile to his face.

  Have you opened it yet? – Alexander

  It took a minute for her to answer.

  Yes. Just now. – Grace

  Okay. Let me know if you have any questions. – Alexander

  He waited for another few minutes to see if she would send him another message before he went back inside, but she didn’t. Tucking his phone back into his jacket pocket, he stood and made his way back inside. As much as he didn’t want to, he needed to get back to his desk. There was a stack of papers that needed his attention.

  Grace didn’t contact him again that night or the next day. If he was being honest, it worried him a little. Had she read something that put her off? Had she changed her mind? The rational part of his brain told him that he’d sent her a lot of information to go over and that she still had work. It wasn’t as if she could sit in front of her computer all day dissecting what he’d sent her.

  On Wednesday morning he’d been tempted to swing by the café and see her, but he hadn’t wanted to seem like a stalker. Instead, he’d gone to work as usual and kept his phone close by.

  He was sitting at his desk that afternoon when he got a text from her.

  Can you come over tonight? – Grace

  His heart sank.

  Sure. What time? – Alexander

  Six? I’ll make dinner. – Grace

  I’ll be there. – Alexander

  He set his phone aside and tried not to jump to conclusions. It was entirely possible that she wanted to go over some things and either didn’t want to wait or didn’t want to talk about whatever it was out in public. He hadn’t missed how uncomfortable she’d gotten during various parts of their conversation on Monday evening.

  With as much optimism as he could muster, Alexander rang the doorbell at exactly six o’clock. A gust of wind whipped around the corner, reminding him that he needed to get a heavier jacket before winter. Although it didn’t get as cold in St. Louis as it did in DC, he would still need something more substantial than the windbreaker he was sporting.

  Grace answered the door with a smile on her face. It gave him hope that she hadn’t changed her mind and decided she didn’t want him as her Dom. “I’m glad you came.”

  “Of course,” he said as he stepped over the threshold into her home.

  “Can I take your jacket?”

  He shrugged out of his coat and handed it to her. “Thanks.”

  Grace had the table already set and there was a bowl of salad at each spot. She stood by her chair and waited. It took him a moment to realize she was waiting for him.

  Pulling out her chair for her, he gestured that she should sit. She’d obviously read over his rules.

  Alexander joined her at the table, picked up his napkin, and placed it over his lap. “I see you’ve read over what I sent you.”

  “Yes, Sir. I have.”

  “Is that why you asked me to come over tonight?” While he was always happy to see her, it did concern him that she hadn’t wanted to wait until tomorrow night.

  “Yes. I wanted to talk to you about some things and . . . well, I didn’t want to talk about them at the restaurant.”

  He put some dressing on his salad, picked up his fork, and gestured for her to go ahead.

  “I would like for us to play tonight.”

  His fork stopped halfway to his mouth.

  “If it’s all right with you, Sir.”

  Alexander laid his fork down, wiped his mouth, and placed his napkin on the table before giving Grace his full attention. While he had no issue with them playing tonight, he needed to understand her reasoning. “Why?”

  She worried the bottom of her lip with her teeth before glancing up at him with those wide eyes of hers. “I’ve been thinking about it and thinking about it, and when I do I get more and more nervous.”

  “Maybe you’re not ready.” He reached out to touch the back of her hand. “It’s okay if you’re not.”

  Grace shook her head. “That’s not it. I just keep thinking of all the what-ifs. I mean, I’ve never played with anyone but Kurt. What if it’s different with someone else? What if I can’t . . .”

  “What if you can’t what?”

  “What if I can’t submit to someone else?” she whispered.

  This was a real fear. He could see it in her eyes.

  Resituating his napkin, he picked his fork back up. “Eat,” he said, motioning toward her salad.

  She hunched her shoulders in what looked to be defeat and reached for her fork. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

  “If you want us to play tonight, you’ll need your energy. Eat.”

  Grace froze, and then a sly smile tugged at her lips.

  “That’s right. You’re getting what you want, gattina. Don’t get too used to it.” He winked at her, letting her know he wasn’t upset.

  If truth be told, she’d probably get away with more than she should in this relationship—arrangement—or whatever it was you wanted to call what they were about to embark upon. He was hard-pressed to deny her much of anything. There was something about Grace that called to him whether she wanted it or not. Somehow he doubted it would take long for her to steal his heart. He only hoped she didn’t rip it out and stomp on it.

  Alexander knew she wouldn’t do it on purpose, but he wasn’t naive. He knew she was still in love with her husband. Knew that the only reason she was doing this was because Kurt had asked it of her. But that didn’t change how he felt. Grace needed someone to take care of her—love her—and he was more than up for the job as long as she would let him.

  Maybe that made him a sucker, but he could live with that.

  Donation more $10, download any books in one month

  Chapter 11

  He worked beside her to clean up after their meal before saying they should head up to her bedroom. It was really going to happen. They were going to play.

  Grace tried to control her breathing as they climbed the stairs. With each step she took she counted her blessings that Alexander had agreed to be her Dom. As nervous as she was about tonight, she knew it would have been ten times worse with someone else.

  When they reached her room, she paused outside the door. This was it.

  Grace took a deep breath in and let it out slowly before crossing the threshold. She stood off to the side as Alexander
strolled into the room and took a look around. He ran his fingers over the comforter on the bed before glancing at the items on top of her nightstand. She saw his brief hesitation before he picked up one of her books.

  During one of their dinners, she’d mentioned how much she liked to read. What she hadn’t told him was the type of books she preferred. Grace stood by helplessly as he flipped the book over and read the back.

  After several moments, he placed the book down and moved on without comment. A small part of her was disappointed. At least if they talked about her books she could focus on something other than the scene they were going to do tonight.

  “Do you have a toy bag?” His voice came out of nowhere and startled her. When she met his gaze across the room he had a smirk on his face. He’d known what he was doing.

  “It’s a chest,” she said. “It’s in the closet. It’s locked.”

  When she didn’t move, he raised an eyebrow.

  “Oh. Yes. Sorry.” Feeling a bit silly she hadn’t realized he was asking her to get the toys out in the first place, she rushed to her nightstand to get the key.

  She and Kurt had picked up the chest years ago at a town market. At the time it had been overkill for what they had, which wasn’t much outside a small crop, a flogger, and a few vibrators. Grace pulled the chest from the closet, unlocked it, and lifted the lid. Their toy collection had grown over the years.

  With a little extra care than what was normal for someone of Alexander’s age, he knelt down in front of the chest.

  “I can get you a chair, Sir.”

  He looked up, meeting her gaze. “Thank you, but I’m fine. Is everything in here clean?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  Without saying anything more, he went back to inspecting her toys.

  They stood there for several minutes as he looked things over. Every now and then he’d pick something up to move it, but for the most part he seemed to be taking an inventory of what she had. With each passing second she grew less sure of herself.

  Without selecting any of the toys, Alexander stood. He looked her up and down before staring her in the eye. “There is no shame if you need to use your safeword tonight.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  He held her gaze for a moment longer before speaking. “Remove your shirt and pants.”

  Grace swallowed and reached for the hem of her shirt. She could do this.

  Cool air hit her skin as she lifted the shirt over her head. It wasn’t that cold in the room, so she imagined it was the situation itself that had her so sensitive.

  She reached for the button of her jeans, pushing it through the material, and then lowered the zipper. Grace had stripped many times for her husband, but this was different. Alexander had never seen her naked. What if he didn’t like what he saw?

  Her nerves started to get the best of her and she froze.

  “Is there a problem?”

  Grace shook her head. No, there wasn’t a problem. Only her own insecurities. “No, Sir.”

  Before she could overthink it anymore, she wiggled the jeans lower, letting them drop to the floor. She bent down to pick them up, but Alexander’s voice stopped her. “Leave them.”

  She felt incredibly exposed standing there in nothing but her bra and panties, but she knew from experience that this was only the beginning. It was what she’d asked for and on some level needed. Already, despite her nerves, she felt her body responding.

  Alexander took a step forward, closing the distance between them. She could feel the heat from his body even though he wasn’t touching her. It felt as if he were six inches taller all of a sudden.

  He moved to stand behind her, still close. The hairs on the back of her neck stood at attention, anticipating. He leaned in, his breath ghosting over her ear. “You’re a beautiful woman, Grace.”

  “Thank you, Sir.” She wasn’t sure what to think about the way the muscles in her belly clenched at the sound, the feel of his voice vibrating against her skin. It had been so long since she’d felt anything like this.

  “Remove your bra, Grace.” The command was spoken as softly as his compliment regarding her body, but she knew it was a command nonetheless.

  With shaky hands, she reached behind her back and unclipped her bra. The straps slid down her shoulders and she let them fall, pulling the cups away and exposing her flesh. She knew without looking that her nipples were hard.

  She heard him hum behind her and knew he’d seen the state of her nipples. The sound sent another wave of anticipation through her.

  “Cup your tits with your hands.”

  What? Why wasn’t he—

  “I won’t ask again. Do it, or use your safeword.”

  Using her safeword hadn’t even crossed her mind. It was only not understanding the reasons behind what he was asking that had her hesitating. But it wasn’t her job to understand. She trusted Alexander and she knew he’d take care of her.

  Grace cupped her breasts, holding their weight in her hands. It wasn’t as if she’d never touched herself before. She had. A lot, actually.

  As if he could read her mind, Alexander’s breath brushed her ear again. “Take your thumb and forefinger and pinch your nipples.”

  This time she didn’t think about it. She just did what he asked.

  “You know I’d do it harder than that, Grace.”

  She pinched harder and felt a zing race down her spine.

  “Harder.”

  A gasp left her lips and warmth rushed between her legs.

  “That’s better.” She could hear the smile in his voice. “Do you pinch your nipples like this when you masturbate?”

  “Sometimes.” Questions like this shouldn’t bother her. Especially since she fully expected Alexander to not only pinch her nipples himself at some point but have sex with her as well.

  “Does that embarrass you?” he asked, still not touching her. Was that his plan? To tease her all night?

  “Yes.” She paused. “A little.”

  “Then you might turn as red as a beet before we’re finished.”

  The shock of his statement caused her to lose concentration and release her hold on her nipples for a second.

  He chuckled. “Oh, gattina, I’m going to have so much fun with your shy nature.”

  She didn’t respond. What was she supposed to say to that? Besides, it hadn’t been a question.

  Her nipples were growing more sensitive the longer she stood there pinching them. The feel of him standing behind her, towering over her, watching was also making it very hard to concentrate on anything outside the two of them. She wanted him to touch her, but didn’t know if she should ask him to.

  “What are you thinking, gattina?”

  Grace didn’t want to lie and knew she shouldn’t. “I was thinking how much I want you to touch me, Sir.”

  “We have plenty of time for that.” He moved a strand of her hair out of the way so he could see better. “Take your right hand and slide it inside the front of your panties. I want you to touch yourself.”

  Her nipple throbbed when she released it, sending pulses down to her sex. Of course, part of that could have been anticipation as well. It had been almost two years since she’d masturbated in front of a man. She was equal parts nervous and excited. And completely turned on.

  The feel of her damp flesh hit her fingers, showcasing how aroused she truly was. Grace was never able to get this wet when she was by herself. Even though Alexander hadn’t touched her, he was there, and every cell in her body knew it.

  “Are you wet, Grace?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “Is your clit swollen?” Every word he said sent tingles down her spine and seemed to have a direct line to her sex.

  Without thinking about it, Grace ran her middle finger over her clit and gasped. “Yes.”

  “That’s good.” She heard the smile in his voice again. “Now take your panties off and go lie on the bed.”

  ***

  Alexander would have given a
bout anything to read Grace’s mind when he’d ordered her to remove her panties and get onto the bed. The look on her face had been enough to let him know he’d caught her completely off guard, which was what he wanted. If she didn’t have time to think too much about things, she wouldn’t have the chance to second-guess herself. He knew what this meant to her and that it needed to go well.

  Throughout dinner, he’d been contemplating their scene. While he’d put a scene together on the fly before, it had never been with a sub such as Grace. She wasn’t new to the lifestyle, which had its advantages. He wasn’t worried about her not saying her safeword should she need to use it. There also wasn’t the issue with her not knowing her hard and soft limits.

  No, with Grace the problem was a lot more complicated. He needed something that would test the waters, get them used to each other in these new roles yet allow her to set the pace without having her top from the bottom. It was a delicate balance and one that was sure to leave him needing a long cold shower when he got home.

  Grace pushed her panties over her hips and down her legs, revealing her amazing ass. It had taken considerable effort for him to keep his hands to himself. Alexander knew what it felt like against his hand when he’d spanked her, but that had been with her clothes on. He wanted to feel her soft skin against his palm as it turned a lovely shade of pink.

  A groan nearly escaped his throat when she climbed onto the bed, ass in the air. Luckily, he stifled it. Tonight wasn’t about him. He’d get his needs taken care of another time. Tonight was about what she needed.

  He waited until she was lying face up on the bed. She’d spread her legs without being asked, a sure sign this wasn’t the first time she’d been told to do something similar. The tips of her nipples were dark pink from where she’d been pinching them. It really was a beautiful sight.

  Once she was in position, Alexander went to the toy chest. When he’d looked it over earlier he saw a few things he felt would be perfect for their scene.

  There were a few crops in the chest, but one looked to be more worn than the others. He removed that, along with a small flogger, a lifelike dildo, and a bullet vibrator.