At the hospital, we are given Fran’s floor and room number at reception, and we ride the elevator up. I take Cora’s hand as we leave the elevator and walk down the hallway until we find Fran’s room.
We hear an excited chatter even before we enter the room. There are my parents, Martin’s parents, and Martin himself. Luckily, it’s a large room and accommodates two more people comfortably.
“Thomas,” Fran cries out when she sees me and does the same with Cora. The baby is not visible as she’s snuggled in her mother’s arms. We enter the room and hug and greet until we reach Martin. I man hug him and pump his hand.
“Congratulations, man,” I tell him.
His grin almost splits his face. “Thank you. Your niece is gorgeous. She looks just like her mother.”
“Can’t wait to see her.”
Behind me, I hear my mother exclaiming Cora’s pregnancy and how they can’t wait to meet the baby.
“Hey, you. Whoever thought that one day you’d be a mother?” I tell my sister as I kiss her on the cheek. “I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks,” she says and pulls away the blankets covering my niece. “Meet the latest member of the family. Her name is Willow.”
My niece’s little face is scrunched up, and she makes a face of displeasure as soon as her mother pulls down her blanket. I laugh. “She’s your daughter, all right. She has no qualms about making her feelings known.”
Fran laughs, and I move away to give space to Cora.
Later, Cora and I leave the hospital and head downstairs to the car. She’s uncharacteristically quiet, and I wait until we are in the car.
“Are you okay?”
She glances at me with a worried look on her face. “Holding Fran and Martin’s baby made it feel so real. Soon it’ll be us, and I’m not sure I’m ready to be a mom. That responsibility is too huge. We have to teach the baby everything.”
My first instinct is to make fun of Cora, but luckily, I curb it and realize that she’s having an anxiety attack. “Will it make you feel better to know that a lot of parents-to-be have voiced this same worry to me? Most people think the hospital has no business entrusting them with their own baby.”
Cora laughs, and her lines of worry disappear. “That’s exactly how I feel. I think they should let me stay in hospital until the baby is two years old.”
I laugh too. “As soon as you set eyes on the baby, your motherly instincts will kick in, and you’ll be okay. We’ll be great parents.”
I start the car.
“Thanks, I know we will. It’s just that I haven’t seen a newborn in years. I forgot how little and dependent they are.”
“Hey, have you given some thought to attending a few parental classes?” I ask her.
“Yeah, I have, and I think I will,” Cora says.
I drop her off at the gym, kiss her goodbye, and head back to work. I hope that I’m managing to look like an excited dad, but I’m afraid that I sound like a doctor instead. It doesn’t seem to bother Cora. Either that, or she doesn’t even notice it.
Chapter 36
Cora
There are ten of us in the parental classes, all in various stages of pregnancy. It feels like every female in the country is pregnant, being in a room full of pregnant women. It’s my fourth class, and I’m enjoying it. Thomas was right. Learning about what to expect during labor and after is dispelling my fear. Now I feel as if I can do it. I can take care of a baby.
After class, I head to Riley’s to see her baby girl. She’s two weeks old and has a mass of blonde hair on her little head. It seems like the baby season is on us now, first Fran and then Riley. I have several weeks to go, and to be honest, I can’t wait. I’m tired of being pregnant, and I’m looking forward to seeing my baby.
Riley gave birth with no pain medication. That’s Riley for you. I have no intentions of going that route. Whatever they can give me for pain, I’ll have it. I’m a wimp when it comes to pain, and I don’t even bother to pretend otherwise.
I get to Riley’s and ring the bell. A minute later, she opens the door and stands there holding her baby against her chest as if she’s been doing it for years.
“You’re a natural,” I tell her after we exchange greetings.
“It might look that way, but I’m a mess inside sometimes. Leo is awesome, though,” she says.
Before following her to the living room, I pop into the bathroom to wash my hands. Then I sit down, and she brings baby Sophia to me and places her gently in my arms.
“Is she always asleep?” I swing by Riley’s at least three times a week.
“Pretty much during the day, and then at night, she’s fully awake. I can’t wait for her to adjust her schedule. It’s a killer trying to stay awake at night,” Riley says. “Can I get you a coffee?”
“Yeah, that would be great, thanks.”
I raise Sophia to me and inhale her. She smells edible. I do this every time I come to see her. Babies have this sweet scent that makes you melt inside.
“How was class?” Riley says, returning with two mugs of coffee.
“Good, but I still can’t get over the fact that some women, a lot of them actually, want to give birth at home. I mean, that’s why we call it modern medicine, with hospitals and equipment and so forth.” I shake my head.
“It’s comforting to be home,” Riley says, but I’m not even listening to her.
I’m on a roll. Before the prenatal class starts, we all say our names as well as our planned place to give birth. I always say hospital, in a tone that suggests wanting a home birth is some form of madness.
“I think it’s crazy to want a home birth,” I say hotly.
“Knowing you, I’m sure that you state your views openly in class,” Riley says.
“Yes, of course. If I can get one of them to change their minds, I’ll be a happy camper.” I’m smug about it, but I can’t help it because I know that I’m right.
“I also bet you’ve made tons of friends in your class,” she says, her tone heavy with sarcasm.
I ignore her. From where I’m standing, giving birth seems so bloody, and anything can go wrong at any time.
“Hey, drink your coffee, it’s getting cold. Have you had enough baby love? I can take her to her crib.”
I haven’t, but she’ll be more comfortable in her own bed. “Sure.” Riley carries her upstairs, and when she comes back, she has a baby monitor.
“When is Doctor Sexy coming back?” Riley says.
I frown at her. “You should stop calling Thomas that. It’s weird. Anyway, he comes back tomorrow. That house is too quiet.”
We chat over this and that. Riley and I never run out of things to talk about. An hour later, I’m ready to go home. I’m tired, and I need to stretch my body.
I’m surprised that I’m not hungry when I get home. I’d saved some chili from last night’s leftovers, but I head straight upstairs to lie on the bed. I think the coffee reacted badly with my system. I don’t feel good, but I can’t pinpoint which part of my body is not well. I strip off, pull on my nightshirt, and then slip between the cool sheets. I feel too shitty to check my phone for messages from Thomas. I promise to check as soon as I wake up from napping.
I manage to doze off, but I wake up later to a crushing pain in my belly. I let out a groan as it reverberates throughout my body. When it’s over, I lie back in bed with sweat trickling down my face.
It’s definitely not labor. First of all, I have three weeks to go, and secondly, the first sign of labor is water breaking. I move my hips, but everything down there feels dry.
So what the fuck was that pain?
I start to doze off again, and minutes later, I wake up with another searing pain. This one is immediately followed by a gush of water. I push myself off the bed, and most of the water drips to the floor.
I’m officially in labor now, but from my parental classes, I know that first babies take hours to show up. Most likely, my munchkin will show up sometime tomorrow. I make
the bed with fresh sheets and clean myself up, after which I slip into bed again.
The pains come at regular intervals, and I forget to time them, or rather, I don’t see a need to as I still have hours to go. I snuggle into bed and fall into a pattern of dozing, waking up from the contractions and falling back asleep. I do this until I realize that the intervals have grown shorter, and I’m not managing to sleep before another pain shoots through me. That’s when it hits me that I need to get to the hospital. I swing my legs off the bed, and another pain shoots through me.
This one is a notch higher, and it leaves me feeling as though I’ve been hit by a truck. When it’s over, I sit on the bed to catch my breath. I get up, and as soon as I do, I want to sit back down. The action of getting dressed, going downstairs, getting into my car, and then driving to the hospital feels insurmountable.
I have no concept of time, and it feels as if I’m locked up in this world by myself. I reach for my phone inside the bag. Guilt floods me when I see six missed calls from Thomas. It’s only ten at night, and it feels like midnight.
I call him back, and he answers on the first ring. Hearing his voice is such a relief, and to my shame, I burst into tears.
“Cora, what is it? Talk to me,” Thomas says.
“I think I’m in labor.” The second the words are out, a contraction comes over me, and it spreads over my back and to my ass.
I hold the phone away as I try and breathe through it as we were taught in prenatal classes. When it’s over, I bring the phone to my ear again.
“I don’t think I can drive myself to the hospital,” I tell Thomas.
“No, you can’t.” His voice is terse. “I’m going to disconnect the call now and get an ambulance for you. Don’t worry about the front door. I’ll tell them where to find the spare key.”
Another contraction comes, and this one comes with triple the pain. I scream.
“Fuck, Cora, I think the baby is on the way. Oh, God. If you can, grab some clean towels and lie on them.” He disconnects the call.
The pain fades away, and I rouse myself and do as he says. I grab some towels and arrange them on the bed and lie back down. Another pain comes, and my phone vibrates. I manage to grab it before the pain becomes unbearable.
“The ambulance is on the way.” Thomas’s voice sounds like it’s coming from far. “Breathe, Cora. You’ll be okay.”
Then something in my body changes, and an overwhelming urge to push comes over me. A deep guttural moan leaves my mouth.
“Are you pushing?” Thomas shouts. “Listen, sweetheart, don’t push. Breathe through it.”
“I can’t ...” Thomas has no fucking idea what he’s talking about. I don’t care whether he’s a doctor. He has never experienced what I’m going through now. Asking me not to push is like telling me to hold back a poop when it’s halfway out.
Two more pushes, and something soft and slippery lands on the towels. I glance between my legs. “Oh my God.” She has a full head of dark silky hair. “Hello, sweetheart.”
I lift her gently onto my stomach while taking a quick peek to verify that she’s indeed a girl. I’m wrapped up in a world of my own as I cuddle my baby.
“Cora, what’s going on? Talk to me.”
I remember Thomas and pick up my phone. “We have a beautiful baby girl,” I tell him. I can barely see her as tears stream down my eyes.
“Is she breathing? Has she cried?”
I laugh with wonder. “She’s staring at me as if trying to figure out who I am. Oh, Thomas, you should see her; she’s so beautiful.”
At that moment, my bedroom door bursts open, and I see Martin. Before I can recover from seeing him in our bedroom, the paramedics enter carrying a stretcher.
The last thing I hear Thomas say is, “I can’t believe that you actually gave birth alone.”
Chapter 37
Thomas
“Hurry up, man,” I tell the Uber guy as he drives me from the airport to the hospital. “My wife gave birth last night.”
“The baby is not going anywhere. In fact, I can tell you as a father of four that you’ll often wish the baby would go somewhere overnight just so you can get a good night’s sleep.” He laughs at his own joke.
I don’t find it particularly funny. All I want is to meet my baby girl and see for myself that Cora is fine. I’ve spoken to Martin countless times since last night, and he has assured me that both Cora and my daughter were unscathed by the experience.
Everyone in mine and Cora’s family has seen the baby except me. Last night I drove myself crazy worrying about all the things that could go wrong from a home birth of a preemie. Dr. Phillips says they probably got the dates mixed up because she was full-term. That was good to hear.
Finally, I see the signs for the hospital, and as soon as the Uber comes to a stop, I pay the driver and hop out. I already have the room number and floor. The elevator takes too long, and I sprint to the stairs and take two at a time.
I stop outside Cora’s room to catch my breath and then push the door open softly. Cora is fast asleep, and the baby is in a raised crib next to the bed. I walk softly to the crib and stare down at the baby.
She’s not asleep, and she stares back at me with intelligent eyes as if she knows that I’m her dad. She has dark eyes like me, but her tiny features are Cora’s. The shape of her lips, her tiny nose, and the shape of her face. She’s beautiful.
As I study her, the most incredible thing happens. Love seeps into my heart and forces it to expand to painful proportions. This is my child. She has come from my body. Emotion overwhelms me, and my eyes fill with tears.
I love this tiny human with all of my being and I don’t even know her name.
“She’s gorgeous, isn’t she?”
I lift my head to find Cora awake and staring at me. I go to her and cup her face. “You’re both gorgeous.” I kiss her on the mouth and draw back to stare into her eyes. “You’re my hero.”
She laughs. “I think it’s karma for the way I used to speak about home births. It was quite comfortable, actually.”
I take her hand as she recounts what happened. Cora is one of the few women whose labor is short and intense, even with a first baby. “You were very brave.”
“I didn’t feel very brave then. I was just so glad to see that she’s all right.” She glances at the crib. “You should hold her. It’s the most incredible feeling.”
“Okay.” I pop into the bathroom to wash my hands, come back into the room, and gently lift her up.
I carry her to the visitors’ chair and sit down, staring at her. My heart almost bursts with love. Cora is right. Holding her little warm body against me like this makes me want to never let go of her. I make a silent vow. I’ll always take care of her and provide for her everything that she needs. She’ll never lack for anything, whether it be my time, my love, or material stuff.
“She looks just like you, “ I tell Cora.
“Except for her hair and hands. That’s purely you.”
“What will we name her? We can’t keep calling her, her,” Cora says.
“You have a point there. Any ideas?” I ask her. I know she’s given it a lot of thought and was just waiting for me before telling everyone else in our families.
“I thought of Taylor Clarkson,” Cora says softly.
“Taylor. I like it.” I glance down at my daughter. “Hey there, Taylor.” Her little mouth moves. “I think she’s smiling.”
Cora props herself on one hand. “I think she is.”
In the space of hours, Cora, Taylor, and I have become a real family. Cora gives me a list of last-minute things that she needs for the baby. She’ll most likely be discharged tomorrow, so I’ll have to shop nice and early and then come to the hospital to pick them up.
I spend the rest of the evening in her room until the nurses kick me out.
I’m too pumped to go home, and it’s still early. I grab an Uber to The Caroline.
There seems to be some sort
of celebration going on.
“And there he is, the father of the baby!” Caroline shouts.
Cheers and claps follow Caroline’s words. People raise their glasses, and congratulations ring out. It seems that everyone got a free drink to celebrate the birth of Caroline’s grandchild.
At the bar, Tom reaches across the counter to shake my hand. “Drinks are on the house for you tonight.”
“Thank you,” I say. I ask for a beer, and while Tom gets it, I slip my phone out of my pocket.
There’s a missed call from Martin, and I call him right back. I can barely hear what he’s saying from the buzz in the bar.
“Where are you?” he says.
“I’m at The Caroline,” I yell into my phone.
“I’m on my way,” he says.
Tom returns with my beer, and after serving me, he asks after Cora and the baby. All the servers who see me stop by to say congratulations and ask after Cora and the baby.
Martin comes when I’m on my second beer. He’s in a suit and looks as if he’s come straight from work. “How does it feel to be the newest daddy on the block?” He slides onto a barstool and asks for a cold beer.
“It feels good.” I grin and then sober up. “I fell in love with Taylor as soon as I laid eyes on her. She’s beautiful.”
“It’s frightening to think that a little human depends on you a hundred percent for survival,” Martin says.
“I thought I’d be cool because of my job,” I tell him. “But as soon as I saw her, I was gone even before I knew her name. Her name’s Taylor, by the way.”
“Taylor, huh?” Martin smiles. “That’s a beautiful name.”
“Cora chose it.”
Tom brings his beer, and Martin takes a long swig. Then he contemplates me. “Are you two still planning on going through with that crazy scheme?”
I told Martin about the agreement that Cora and I made about parting ways after three weeks, and of course, he thought it was crazy. “Yeah. The plan was to have a baby together and then go our separate ways.”
He shakes his head. “Is that what you want?”
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