Mister Toebones

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Mister Toebones Page 4

by Brooks Haxton


  Near Saturn

  Snowflakes drifted unseen

  onto the floor of a lake.

  Salts of cyanide fell nearby

  in the rainfall over the crags.

  Other moons appeared

  to the instruments of the eye,

  some cratered, one smooth, one of them

  spouting water crystals into space.

  And we could see odd shapes less

  moonlike, Epi-metheus and Pro-metheus

  meaning After-thought and Fore-thought

  shepherding rocks and ice

  in the rings. And others, moonlets,

  were invisible, smaller, nameless, most,

  like most of what there was and is,

  even to the mind’s eye dark.

  Lingerie Femme and the Vagaries of Pronunciation

  From vagari, Latin, meaning wander,

  comes vah-GEHR-ee, an eccentric whim,

  or deviation in the fickle mind. Vagaries

  are not instances of vagueness, though the new

  pronunciation, VAYG-uh-reez, has blurred

  the meaning. Let’s not blur the meaning. Aks

  for ask was standard during the reign

  of Aelfric. If a bigot tells you aks is wrong,

  remind him that King Eadgar and Queen

  Aelfthryth disagreed. This error is not

  trivial, though to err, Pope said, is human,

  and he did say uhr, not ehr. To air is what

  the British do not do with dirty linen.

  Flax, speaking of linen, is the proper sound

  in flaccid, which, like accident,

  and unlike acid, has two cees. Lingerie

  is French for linen. I struggle to accept

  (two cees, ak-sept) that in this country

  lingerie is lawnjuhray. It’s sad. I love

  to mangle French as much as anyone,

  and if it made me feel indecent

  lawnjuhray would be a triumph,

  but it calls to my mind someone

  injured in a folding lawn chair.

  To Bald Eagle

  You were a good workhorse,

  gentle for children to ride.

  When I leaned forward on your neck

  and whispered, I could feel it

  that you understood me.

  Even in your old age Henry Davis

  would have you prance, and he swung down

  from the height of your back, easy

  out of the saddle when he was eighty.

  The mule that shared your stall

  for years, Henry told us after he hauled

  your body away from the house,

  stood screaming over what was left,

  for three days. Then, for a few more seasons,

  Henry ploughed his cornfield with the mule.

  Now, fifty years later, I’m whispering this to myself.

  Circa 1961

  Titanis walleri

  A flightless raven taller than a man

  kept chasing me into the ditch along the road.

  Nightmare logic made the bird too slow

  ever to catch me, but it also made me

  stumble. Sea cows, hundreds of miles southeast,

  slipped, meanwhile, through clear springs

  into the tea-brown tannic brew

  of the Lower Santa Fe, a river

  famous for disappearing underground

  and coming up out of nowhere. There,

  in scuba gear, Ben Waller did

  palaeoarchaeology for fun. He sank

  his bare hands into the silt on bottom

  to feel his way along for hidden shapes.

  He found whole points of pre-Columbian spears,

  and once the fossilized ankle

  of the most frightening bird

  ever to walk this Earth.

  Waller’s job for Civil Defense

  was diving to bring back bodies of divers

  lost in local caves. The anklebone

  he found was what they call

  Titanis walleri, a bird the size of the one

  in my contemporaneous nightmare.

  Two million years before,

  that species may have made the laugh

  the seriema makes now in Brazil.

  The seriema can catch a snake in her beak,

  whip it into the ground,

  and swallow it whole, head first.

  With a similar motion, they say,

  Titanis, to protect her chicks,

  could bring down cats as big as tigers.

  She did this by driving her beak

  hook first into the cat’s spine—

  head, an eagle’s head more massive

  than a battle-ax, swung down

  by the muscle-bound neck of an emu

  twice the size of my father, who was tall,

  and, I should tell you, kind,

  but who happened to own the black

  totemic carving of a crow

  which came to life enormous in my dreams.

  Oceanic

  1.

  Again an oriole has hung her nest

  among the cottonwoods just

  farther north, and soon

  inside the Baltimore hotel

  where my grandparents stood

  as newlyweds big horseshoe crabs

  will scuttle over the lobby floor

  while high tide laps

  through busted

  window frames and doors.

  2.

  When the north wind came down

  out of the cedars

  onto the bay

  the boat turned slowly

  as the needle of a compass

  does in the palm of a man

  turning to find himself

  on a map.

  3.

  Far down, under a sky without a moon or stars,

  when the dive light failed and the current

  along the wall of the reef gained force,

  he turned to find the lights of the others

  gone. Things in the total dark, even

  his own hands now, seemed hypothetical,

  and deep inside the ear the velocity of his heart.

  To Sirius B

  Your sister, the Dog Star, was the brightest.

  You, the Pup, nobody even saw, until one night

  in eighteen sixty-two, when a young man

  with a telescope of his own devise looked up,

  and there, where the wobble in your sister’s gait

  suggested you might be, you were, a white dwarf.

  Scientists, when they could read your temperature,

  said a thimbleful of you must weigh a ton.

  Fusion had to have ceased, they thought,

  for you to be so dense. Though white hot

  you were defunct at the core, already yellowing,

  dead in other words. After the yellow,

  they predicted, would come dull red, duller

  and duller, until you disappeared. Your sister,

  meanwhile, and the Sun would also be white

  dwarves. Mercury, Venus, Earth, and the Moon,

  before that, during the Sun’s red-giant phase,

  would have been vaporized in the expanding

  sphere and thrown off into nebulous plumes.

  A Voter from Mississippi Considers the State Constitution

  Article 12, Section 241 on Franchise: Concerning the Exception for Idiots and Insane Persons

  Words
ring empty without love,

  but we do in the strictest sense

  rank idiots below the imbeciles

  and imbeciles below the morons.

  Idiots we deem unfit to vote.

  This is the law. In May of 1954,

  soon after Brown vs. Board of Education,

  Senator James Eastland in his third term

  said that segregation is the law

  of nature. It keeps racial harmony,

  he said. His people a year later

  murdered Emmett Till.

  During his fourth term they killed

  Evers, Chaney, Schwerner, and Goodman.

  During his fifth, nearby in Tennessee,

  they murdered King. Those deemed

  worthy of the vote made Eastland senator

  six times. When Eastland was a boy

  they made James Vardaman

  their governor, then senator.

  Vardaman in his first campaign

  for governor said education spoiled

  good field hands, and he advocated

  lynching. Our state constitution

  for a time required that voters

  demonstrate sound moral character.

  That statute was repealed.

  A Cat Lover’s Guide to The Bell Curve

  Pigs may be the most intelligent

  of the domestic animals,

  but next to pigs cats look like

  geniuses for diet, caterwauling

  sex, longevity, and hygiene.

  Sows suffocate their young

  by accident, or swallow them

  alive on whim. I’ve seen them

  puke their breakfast in the dirt

  and eat it warm for lunch, their faces

  smeared with shit. The poor,

  some experts say, are less intelligent

  than the rich. This they prove

  with numbers from a test

  which, I’m just guessing,

  is the one they use on pigs.

  To Jesse James

  Before you were born, your father stood

  in the pulpit quoting the gospel:

  “As ye would that men should do

  to you, do ye also to them

  likewise.” He kept five children:

  to work as slaves in the hemp fields,

  and their mother in the house.

  When you were three, he left

  for Hangtown Gold Camp

  where he found what many young men

  found there, cholera and an early death.

  Your stepfather beat you, and your mother

  replaced him soon with the Doctor,

  who worked the children to raise tobacco.

  Your brother Frank, having left home

  at eighteen, was asleep in the Rebel camp

  at dawn, when boys from the Union

  crept up through the woods,

  and the Battle of Wilson’s Creek

  left five hundred dead around him.

  In the siege at Lexington he surrendered.

  Home on parole he joined a Rebel gang.

  Then, you saw jayhawkers hang the Doctor

  from a tree in the yard. They swung him

  down to ask where Frank had gone,

  and when he did not say, they swung him up again.

  A year later, Frank came back with Bloody Bill’s gang,

  and you joined them at sixteen to murder

  the unarmed boys on the train at Centralia.

  The Union infantry followed and took a position

  with muskets, to pour and pack and fire

  as fast as they could, but you and the gang of boys

  on horseback charged with two or three revolvers each,

  killing a hundred more, including some who surrendered.

  You were an outlaw then for life.

  You received at your work

  two bullet wounds in the chest

  and one in the leg.

  When you were thirty-four, you, your wife, and children

  shared a house with the Ford boys: Robert,

  after breakfast, shot you in the back of the head,

  having been promised more than he thought

  to earn in a lifetime, more, in fact, than he did.

  Some say, you were an excellent dancer,

  courteous with the ladies. Stories tell

  of your saving a widow’s farm.

  They mention widows in several states.

  I keep trying to see the actual man

  behind the eyes in the photograph:

  hair and beard cut short, jacket tweed

  with a clover lapel, floppy silk bow tie:

  a man of moderate style, alert to trouble

  such as upholders of slavery met

  in the Borderlands of your time.

  Frank I see here bald at fifty-five,

  big ears, turn-of-the-century three-piece suit

  and sweater, wingtip collar and flowing tie,

  more shoe salesman by now than robber:

  Frank looks less on edge, having killed more

  boys and men by far than you did.

  When he returned to the farm in old age,

  after your mother died, for two bits

  he would show the original site of your grave

  and let the visitor take a pebble

  to keep as a souvenir.

  There’s no connection between us, Jesse,

  except the enjoyment of lives prepared by those

  who made their neighbors slaves under color of law

  and by armies deployed at a whim.

  In the predawn dark while my mother

  was giving birth to me, your namesake Jesse,

  six when last you saw him at the table for breakfast,

  would have been sleeping, an old man

  in Los Angeles, in South Central where he lived.

  He died there too, the following year, eight miles south

  of where my brother Richard lives today.

  Love and Empire

  Napoleon in exile kept two lockets, one

  from the late Marie Walewska

  with a snippet of blonde hair, the other

  remembering Josephine with violets

  he picked beside her grave. As for himself,

  he asked that his heart in spirits of wine,

  preserved in a dish of silver welded

  shut, be given to the second

  empress, who survived him.

  *

  Widowed at thirty, jailed

  by Robespierre, made

  courtesan by his successor,

  Josephine, when she laughed, hid

  her ugly teeth behind her hand.

  *

  Napoleon two days after the wedding left for war.

  He said in a letter to his wife, he longed to kiss

  her breast, “and lower down, much lower.” Her replies

  were cool and few; her dalliances with his rival, not.

  *

  Sick of his wife’s adulteries, Napoleon in Egypt

  saw a woman smiling with good teeth

  and sent her husband as envoy to France.

  The smiling woman stayed, and with the wives

  of other officers she visited the general’s house

  for lunch. A parlormaid filling the water glasses

  tripped and drenched the woman’s dress.

  Napoleon, as though surprised, leapt up,

 
and led his guest into a private room where,

  he insisted, she could “repair the damage.”

  *

  Marie Walewska, faithful as a wife

  at twenty-one, according to her own

  account, had spurned Napoleon.

  But when he smashed his watch,

  and swore that he would shatter

  Poland, thus, were she not his,

  she fainted, wakening after the rape

  to find him soothing her, as if in love.

  *

  Men who saw bells fat as oxen

  drop through bell towers in flames

  after a month lay scattered, windblown

  in a thousand fields of snow.

  *

  Marie Walewska spent two nights in Napoleon’s bed

  on Elba, planning to stay, but he escorted her

  on the third night halfway back to the boat.

  In the locket she had inscribed: “Remember,

  when you cease to love me, that I love you still.”

  *

  The perfume of the violet is sweet, though brief

  because it numbs the nerve it touches.

  *

  Declining the gift of the dead man’s heart,

  the second empress wrote to a friend:

  “He did not treat me ill, as some

  suppose. I would have wished him

  many years of a contented life,

  if only he lived them far away from me.”

  From Anyte of Tegea

  For you, goddess of war and wisdom,

  I leave this cherrywood pike

  three times the length of my body.

  I have wiped from the iron leaf

  the blood of men

  whose lives I ended.

  Soon my name and the names

  of victorious kings

  and kingdoms will be nothing.

  Still, in the light of your

  mind, goddess, may

  the brave soul glimmer.

  The Cormorant at Snooks Pond

  After the mall tycoon paid experts to conclude

  that rainbow trout can survive in water like this,

  warm and rich from a wetlands, three years

  after they drained the pond, and excavators

 

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