It's on Us

by Matthew Burkey-Gilchrist

  I pushed out a long breath. “Alright, but you guys should go dance or something.”

  “So should you,” Rory insisted.

  I let out a bark of laughter. “With who?”

  About that time, the music switched up.

  “You love this song,” Rory pointed out.

  “You really do,” Tab agreed, inclining his head to the side.

  “So what if I do?” I snapped. “Who the hell am I supposed to dance with?”

  “Us,” Tab said, offering me his elbow.

  “I am not dancing with you guys,” I insisted, looking around. I felt my voice quiver a little and had to push down a surge of panic. “Everyone’s going to make fun of me, and what’s worse, they’re going to make fun of you for dancing with me.”

  “The song is called I Wanna Dance With Somebody,” Rory said, offering me his arm. “And I don’t give a fuck what they say. Everyone is already looking. Let’s give them something to really look at.”

  “He’s right, you know,” Tab agreed. “Come on, Henry, you haven’t backed down yet. Don’t let these assholes tell you how to live your life.”

  “That’s our job,” Rory added with a grin.

  “You’re serious?”

  “Totally,” Rory said. “Come on.”

  “Fuck it,” I snapped.

  We waded out onto the dance floor, though at first, people gave us a pretty wide berth. But I really didn’t care, and judging by the smile on Rory and Tab’s faces, they really didn’t care either.

  “You made it!”

  I turned to see Danny coming toward us, a blond junior in tow. I think she was the captain of the dance team, maybe? She gave me huge grin.

  “They pretty much dragged me out of the house,” I replied.

  “Dude, you got him here!”

  I spun around to find Luke making his way toward me, along with two or three other soccer players and their dates. And soon, I was surrounded by people; dancing, laughing, and generally having a good time. We were still getting looks, especially when Rory grabbed my hips and started to swing them in time with the music. All I could do was laugh, mostly because it was clear that I was a way better dancer than he was.

  I wasn’t sure how long we danced there, or how many people cut in between Rory and Tab. At one point, it was Luke, then Sean, and then Danny. What I was very aware of was the fact that everyone was having a good time and none of them, not a single one, were avoiding touching me or being near me. It was one of the best feelings of my entire life. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, we took a break, heading off the dance floor and back to the table.

  “I never knew you could dance like that,” Luke said.

  “Oh, he’s a machine,” Rory said. “And you should see him on the mat.”

  “I can’t wait,” Luke said.

  I looked up just as Danny slipped through the doors leading to the terrace at the back of the gym. Taking a deep breath, I pushed back from the table and stood up.

  “You okay?” Rory asked.

  “Fine. Just need to talk to Danny for second.”

  “You sure you’re good?” Rory asked.

  “Totally fine.”

  I made my way through the dance floor, and to the doors. It took me a moment to compose myself before stepping through them and into the cool night air. A quick look around showed me that neither Hunter or Shawna were anywhere to be seen. I still felt pretty shitty about being the reason that she wouldn’t date Rory. However, as soon as she made her bigotry clear, Rory seemed to have lost all interest in her. Well, at least that as what he said. I knew how much he liked her, probably as much, if not more, than I liked Danny. Getting over her was going to take awhile.

  I pushed those thoughts aside and started walking to where Danny was looking out over the terrace. I knew it offered him a lovely view of the forest surrounding the school. He turned around when I was just a few feet away and gave me a big grin.

  “So, how is the town’s only living Jedi?”

  I laughed nervously and tried to keep myself from launching my dinner all over.

  “You look pretty serious. Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah,” I said softly. I squared my shoulders and looked Danny right in the eye. “You always want me to be honest with you, no matter what, right?”

  “It’s what friends do,” Danny replied. “You’re starting to freak me out. Is everything okay?”

  “When I came out to the team and I said that I didn’t have those kinds of feelings for anyone, that wasn’t entirely the truth.”

  There I said it. Well, most of it. Danny made no indication that my admission fazed him. All he did was raise an eyebrow in a very quizzical gesture. Since he hadn’t gone screaming from the terrace or wasn’t trying to strangle me, I decided that I should keep going.

  “Who was it?” Danny asked.

  “You.”

  Silence hung in the air for what felt like an eternity. I could hear the blood rushing through my veins and feel my heart pounding away in my chest. Danny’s face remained a mask of calm and then softened slightly. He reached out and grabbed me, pulling me into a tight hug. I was more than a little shocked and not really sure of what was going on. Eventually I hugged him back.

  “Thank you for telling me that,” Danny said as we separated. “You’re a great person, Henry, but I’m sorry. I don’t feel that way for you.”

  “I know,” I said. “And if I’m honest, I don’t really have those feelings for you anymore either. I just thought you should know, I mean, I don’t know why I thought you should know…”

  I was now babbling and crying like an idiot.

  “Don’t cry, man,” Danny said, gently grabbing me by the shoulders. “Henry, you’re a great guy. You’re smart, funny, and one of the bravest people I know. You put yourself out there, your whole self, and you are unapologetically you. That’s amazing.”

  “I don’t know why I’m crying.” I sniffled. “Hell, I just told you that I don’t even really feel that way for you anymore.”

  “You’re crying because that’s a huge secret to tell someone and because you’re worried it might change our relationship,” Danny said. “And I need to make it clear that it changes nothing between us.”

  “Still friends?” I asked.

  “Always, Henry,” Danny replied with a smile. He looked down at his phone. “I need to get back inside, but I meant what I said. This changes nothing between us.”

  “Thanks, Danny.”

  “Sure.”

  “Oh, and one more thing,” Danny said.

  “Yeah?”

  “Save the next dance for me.”

  Danny gave my shoulders a squeeze and headed back inside, passing Rory and Tab on the way. He gave them a smile and slipped through the doors, leaving just me and my two best friends on the terrace.

  “You don’t have to do that, you know,” Rory pointed out. “You can cry in front of us.”

  “I think we established that already,” I said. “When Tab was hugging me on the disgusting bathroom floor.”

  “One of my finer moments,” Tab said with a smile. He leaned against the railing. “Did it feel good to tell him?”

  “I guess so.”

  “You’ll find a guy,” Rory said, giving me a side-hug.

  “Maybe not,” I replied. “You guys might be stuck with me.”

  “Worse people to be stuck with,” Tab said. “Besides, look at what you did.”

  “I didn’t do anything. I got Rory to lose the election–”

  “And you helped me to come out.”

  The three of us whirled around, my brain struggling to process who it was that made such a startling revelation.

  “Holy shit!” Rory yelped.

  “Cole?” I asked.

  “Um, yeah. It’s me,” Cole said.

  He stood there, his hands awkwardly in the pockets of his pants, looking completely and utterly adorable.

  “Wait… did you just?” Rory started
to say.

  “Come out? Yeah, I did.”

  The four of us stood there awkwardly for what seemed like forever.

  “I mean, are you sure that you’re gay?” Tab asked. “I mean, how do you know?”

  “Cause I think you two have amazing asses,” Cole replied.

  “That’s true, we do have amazing asses,” Rory agreed.

  “And because I know that Henry’s is better,” Cole said. Even in the dim light of the terrace, I could see him blush deeply. “Um, can I talk to him alone for a second?”

  “Totally,” Tab said. “Come on, Rory, let’s go grab something to eat. And gaydar, my ass. I told you he was gay!”

  “Aww, but I want to see this.”

  “Come on,” Tab said, dragging Rory off the terrace.

  “I mean, they might kiss!” Rory called out as Tab hauled him to the door. “Don’t you want to see that epic moment?”

  “He’ll tell us all about it later.”

  “I promise I won’t,” I said once they were gone. “I mean, not that we’re going to kiss or anything… You should probably say something before I continue making a total ass of myself.”

  Cole laughed and came to stand next to me. “If we were to kiss, we both know that you’re going to tell them all about it.”

  “I wish I could say that’s a lie, but it’s not.”

  “I know.”

  We stood there in awkward silence.

  “Are you sure about this?” I asked.

  “Oh, trust me. I’ve done exhaustive research.”

  “Don’t do this,” I said, my voice shaking.

  “Don’t do what?” Cole asked.

  He took a few steps closer to me and I could smell his soap: a combination of fresh pine and vanilla. It was one of the most intoxicating aromas I ever had the pleasure of encountering. He stopped a few inches from my face and just stood there. My heart was pounding away in my chest and a nervous, cold sweat had broken out all over my body.

  All I could do was stare at him, taking in every detail about his body. His dimples, his bright smile, the lines of the muscles of his arms and chest. There wasn’t any place on him to look that didn’t seem to be perfectly molded.

  “Don’t tease me like that.”

  “I’m not teasing you, Henry,” Cole whispered.

  His voice was low and husky, probably the sexiest voice I had ever heard. There was no way that he was going to kiss me. Any moment, he would come to his senses and run the other way, leaving me standing there on the terrace with a broken heart and a damn hard-on.

  Then it happened. His lips brushed against mine and I shit you not, fireworks went off in my brain. Every single nerve in my body was abuzz with this weird sort of electricity. I felt Cole’s hands slide down and wrap around my waist, pulling me closer.

  And before I knew it, I was kissing him back. He tasted like cinnamon and sugar cookies. I’m not sure how long we stood there, although it was long enough that I realized we better stop before I’d be unable to go back inside, if you get my drift. I slowly pushed him back a few inches, my breath catching in my chest.

  “Whoa,” I finally said. “That was, um, amazing.”

  “You’re a pretty good kisser,” Cole said.

  “No, you’re a good kisser. I was just making it up.”

  Cole laughed and shook his head. It was then that I noticed his eyes, which looked like they were wet with tears.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t think I was that bad.”

  “Oh god, you weren’t,” Cole said, wiping away a few tears. “I was so scared of coming here tonight and telling you how I feel.”

  “Why would you be scared of that? I’ve been pretty much crushing you ever since you came back.”

  Cole shook his head and took my hands in his. The buzzing, electric feeling was back, and I couldn’t help but get this goofy ass grin plastered all over my face. I’d have to find a way to tone that down, assuming this was going to be a thing going forward.

  “You’re so strong, Henry,” Cole said, his voice cracking. “I saw everything that you went through and you never broke. You’ve stayed true to yourself this whole time.”

  “I wanted to quit.”

  “But you didn’t,” Cole said. “What you did for everyone… god, you have no idea how helpful that’s been. You proved it’s okay to be weird or different.”

  I shook my head, fighting back my own tears. “I only told people to be nice to each other. That’s not exactly Nobel Prize material.”

  “You backed it up,” Cole said. “You went on record and challenged people to act with kindness and put others first. You do it every day in your personal life. And as much as you don’t want to admit it, what you did, well, that might just prevented another Noah.”

  “What’s this mean now?” I asked. “I mean, did you just kiss me to try and figure out if you’re really gay–”

  Cole shut me up by promptly kissing me again. I didn’t really protest that much, or at all, really. When we came up for air again, he wore a wide grin on his face.

  “It means that I’d like to take you on a date, and another one, and another one, and, well, you get the picture.”

  “I’d really like that.”

  “We should go back inside,” Cole said, offering me his hand.

  “Um, are you sure about that? Everyone’s going to see.”

  “Who cares?” Cole said, grabbing my hand. “Fuck them.”

  I took his hand, for the first time in weeks not worrying about what everyone else was going to say. We walked proudly back through the doors, catching Rory and Tab’s eyes as soon as we stepped through the door. We also caught the eyes of a lot of other people. Some recoiled in horror, others rolled their eyes. Some gave us disgusted looks and some gave us big old thumbs up. No matter how they reacted, I didn’t care.

  “See, I told you he was gay,” Tab said, narrowing his eyes at us. He broke into a grin a few seconds later. “This is awesome, but break his heart and I’ll kill you.”

  “I mean, who could resist this guy?” Cole said, indicating me with a nod. “He’s hot, smart, and insanely good with a blade.”

  I blushed.

  “You were supposed to save me a dance,” Danny said. He was grinning broadly. “But I guess I can make an exception.”

  “You did it,” Rory said, giving my other hand a squeeze. “Noah would have been happy to see what you started. We just have to remember to keep going, I’ve almost got all the paperwork ready for the GSA.”

  “Count me in,” Danny said.

  “Me, too,” Luke added.

  “And me, too.” That came from the blond who was Danny’s date.

  I still didn’t know her name, but at the moment, I didn’t care. All I cared about was the insanely hot guy who still hadn’t let go of my hand, and the fact that I was surrounded by the best friends I could have ever asked for,

  “It’s on us,” Rory said. “I think we’re gonna make that our motto.”

  “I like it,” Danny said. “Very fitting.”

  I smiled and leaned in to kiss Cole. I hadn’t set out to change the world, and realistically speaking, I knew that I hadn’t changed the world, but I might have changed this very small corner of it. Cole was right, maybe I could be that spark. I had to be, for all the Noahs in our school, our town, hell, the world. I never set out to be a hero. I only set out to be a decent human being. I never wanted to create a huge cultural shift, I just wanted everyone to be nice to each other. To treat each other as human. I mean, after all that’s what it all comes down to.

  Treat others as you want to be treated, pretty damn simple.

 

 

 
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